Hope

There is really only one thing we need to know - that there is hope.  Always and forever, through our darkest times, we are assured that there is a plan, a purpose and unlimited potential for our lives.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We may not always have understanding but we can seek comfort in understandng that God promises us a future full of hope and prosperity. 

Believe His promise.

Nail Biter

Anxiously awaiting news concerning some dear friends of mine...they are waiting to hear if their grant will be refunded.  I feel as nervous and anxious as if it were my own program.

It's such a hard thing to pour yourself into these programs with the thought that it could be taken away at every grant competition. And really, the heart and soul of each of these programs is the people that labor each day to build them. It's the people that care, that want to make a difference - that's what makes the most difference to the participants. Knowing they have people who support them, guide them, care about them...

Such a difficult thing to think of any program shutting down.  I always think about the people who are waiting. Wondering.  Hoping.

But this one, this one is especially close to my heart.

Friday List

It's Friday, the semester just started, and football is just around the corner! Life. Is. Good.

I really feel that all this awesomeness calls for a list but I’m all out of creativity. I got nothing. Zip, zero, nada. Sorry to disappoint, but all my energy has been spent this week on the students parading in and out of my office.

I can, however, offer you a bunch of meaningless, random, and not so interesting commentary on nothing in particular…sounds riveting, huh?

1. Throwing a belt around a shirt does not magically turn it into a dress. Try it as many times as you want, it’s still just a shirt with a belt.

2. The older I get the more compassion I have for those in need and the less tolerance I have for ignorance.

3. I textured our entire mudroom. By hand. It was a good reminder how much I hate manual labor.

4. I was in a hurry when I went to the bathroom and was a little too aggressive when I pulled down my drawers. Apparently the little bit of working out has turned me in the Incredible Hulk because my thumb went through the lace and ripped the entire side. My choices of dealing with this were limited – try to wear one-sided panties and risk them falling off at the most inopportune time or trash them. I wonder if the cleaning crew noticed when they emptied the trash.

5. I don’t know why but every time I eat at KFC, I want ice cream afterwards. And I’m not even a big ice cream person. Although I have eaten a bacon sundae before. It sounded so gross that I was morbidly intrigued and had to try it. It wasn’t as gross as it sounds.

6. Nothing has made me feel so vain and frivolous as sitting across from a young women who is missing her entire front teeth while I have five grand of metal on mine.

7. I’m not trying to be gross but how exactly does camel toe happen? Does it not feel like something’s amiss? I mean, it’s gotta hurt.

8. My lack of patience is demonstrated by the fact that I absolutely cannot lick a blow pop long enough to get to the gum. I always chew it up and mix the sucker and gum.

9. I used to say I didn’t have a “type”. Technically that’s not true, my criteria were just a little unconventional. I cannot stand “little boy” hands. Or cheap looking shoes. I don’t know why, cheap shoes just make a guy less attractive to me. So nice shoes and grown up hands.

10. I don’t understand society’s obsession with beauty or looks. It’s especially harmful for young girls who are taught that beauty is above all else. If you believe your worth is in your appearance, what happens to your self-esteem when it fades? And it will. At some point we all shrivel up and end up looking pretty much the same.

Runnin Wild

What a week! It has been crazy busy! I don't think I hardly sat down yesterday! I did, however, almost manage to miss a meeting. I didn't forget about it - I just lost track of time.

That's what I get for running across campus without my phone. Because yes, my phone is my watch. I have an actual watch but the batter needs to be replaced. It's needed to be replaced for at least three years now, if not longer. So that watch doesn't really count…

I'm sure it was comical to anyone who saw me sprint across campus. Wait, no, that's not true. It was in no way a sprint. Maybe a sloppy jog? Whatever it was it left me out of breath. And I pretty much felt like I was running the rest of the day too. Just going all day long.
I went home, did Mommy duty and then nothing else for the rest of the night. So no workout for me. But I promised myself I wouldn’t skip tonight, so no matter what kind of day I have – the workout is in.

And so is that massive pile of laundry I’ve been ignoring…

They're Baaaack

The semester has started again!  Campus just feels different - exciting and full of energy. Love it.

This means planning time is gone - my days will be filled with students, students, and students. And I am so ready!  We're gonna have a great sememster - so looking forward to some really great things.

Here's to a new year! Let's do this!

Goodbye Summer

Day four! 

Is it sad that I'm celebrating four measly little days of working out?  Does that really even count?

Big day tomorrow - M starts first grade!  Yes they start on a Friday. I know, I think it's dumb too.  Of course, she doesn't know the difference. She's just excited to get to show her sparkly tank-top to her new friends. 

Big day for me too -we have our freshman mentoring orientation tomorrow and then our whole program orientation. I cannot believe it's here already. This summer went way too fast. I think we got a lot accomplished but it was kinda a whirlwind. We spent the entire summer trying to get some new programming in place. I think we're ready but I could have used just a few more weeks. 

Of course, I don't know when it will ever not be busy - every time I think we're getting close to where we want to be I see another gap or something that we're not doing. During in-service today we had a session on higher education accreditation. There are some big changes coming for our college. And I realized that we should develop some learning/program outcomes. I mean, I have a strategic plan but I think we need to step back, look at everything we do, and then outline what kind of result we want from that service and then measure - are we getting that result? If not, why not?  What can we do to change it?  I don't know, we do an annual performance report but that doesn't really help you get a better program...

I have ideas, I know what I want our program to be - getting there is the problem. I lack direction and resources. And time. And sometimes a reality check. Sometimes I catch myself getting into all that stuff and I have to step back and remind myself that we are really not there yet. But gosh, we're entering our third year - shouldn't we be there by now?  

I had a wonderful meeting with some colleagues the other day, a three hour exchange of program ideas and discussion. I walked away feeling that we were doing things right but I didn't get any solutions to the challenges that we face.  And I guess I felt better knowing that we share the same challenges but really, what does that do for either one of us?

Okay, going to continue those thoughts tomorrow at the office. Tonight, I've got a backpack to prepare and clothes to dry because tomorrow is a school day!

2 For 2

Mixed day today.

Good part: Day two of workouts. Cardio. Well, mini cardio. Nothing like I was doing or want to be doing but I was just happy to have my fat behind on the treadmill. Every step is progress, right?

Bad part: I did something today that I said I wasn't going to do. I've been really good but I had a moment of weakness and gave into temptation. And that's kinda frustrating.

Obviously though, I'm not a master of willpower or I wouldn't be doing mini sessions of cardio, now would I?

What I have mastered is the art of guilt. Not for others, just myself. I have such a strong guilt complex I used to jokingly tell people that I felt so guilty I should have been born Catholic. And then I quipped that to a friend of mine, who I didn't realize was Catholic. Then I had the fortune to experience awkward guilt.

But no guilt tonight - the workout is done!

Mini

Got a little workout in tonight. Nothing to brag about but at least I did something. Which is more than I've done in a long, long time.

I really, really, really didn't want to. But I told myself I was going to start back today.  I've told myself that about 117 other times too - and there's only so much disappointing myself before it gets old. I kinda wish it had gotten old about 10 pounds ago, but whatever.

And it's kinda funny because I think about all this metal in my mouth. What a pain it is, how much work it is, how much I hate it. Not to mention expensive - man, it costs a fortune! All because I wanted straight, even teeth. And if you ask me if it's worth it, I would say yes.

But it makes no sense to care so much about  my teeth but then let my body go. Do I hate working out? YES. Is it a pain to do it? YES. Is it hard work? YES. Is it worth it? Ummm, well...I'd rather just sit on the couch and watch tv so I guess that would be a no.

See, I told you it didn't make sense.

So, I'm changing my attitude. Trying to anyway. Focusing on the benefits and end results and hoping I can remember that my thighs are just as important as my incisors...

Love Bug

I’m feeling sentimental and sappy today. The Blue in me must be raging because I am all mushy and full of love. I’m almost ready to go stand on the corner to pass out free hugs.

I said almost.

I’m just so thankful for the people I have in my life. I think more than anything life is about creating relationships. Having deep, meaningful connections with people. And even the not so deep and meaningful connections, really. I think above all else, it’s about people. Because what could be more important than that?

I think that’s why I work in the programs I do – to make a difference, change a life, watch someone grow and succeed. That kind of stuff feeds my soul. And I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true…

So I’m full of gratitude, full of love and just so thankful for my special friends.

I'm Toast

Spent the weekend at the lake with some friends. We had SUCH a good time. We finally got the boat out - I've missed being out on the lake. And the kids had a blast. Our friends have three and it was fun to watch them take turns "driving". Such a big deal.

It was the most relaxing weekend I've had in a while - I spent my time on the boat or napping. Or eating. That's about it. I may have spent a little too much time on the boat though - because I'm burnt! And no, I didn't put on sunscreen. Because I don't burn! Usually. I guess I need to stop claiming my Lebanese heritage prevents me from burning. I actually think this is about the third time I've gotten a little pink and each time I've said "But I never burn!". I don't know why, it's not like it's a source of pride - "Hey, check out my super awesome ability to block these UV rays. Cool huh? Yeah, I've been working on it for months!"

No, it's just literally hard for me to understand that I burn now. I went my whole life without sunscreen. My. Whole. Life. Days and days at Whitewater, days and days at the lake, days and days laying out - without a sunburn. Ever. I don't know if my skin has changed with age or if it's just because I'm not really a sun baby like I used to be...either way, I think I need to readjust and start with sunscreen.

It isn't super bad but it's on my shoulders - where my back was to the sun. It doesn't really hurt unless something is pressing into it. Like my bra.

Add that to the list of things that suck about being a woman...

We Closed

So today was an exciting day - we made a big purchase.

We bought this:

Yes - we bought some land!

Ever since I've known my husband,  he's talked about owning some acreage away from the city. And it isn't any city in particular - he just needs space. He would have never moved away from the country except there was little opportunity or financial stability.  So his plan has always been to buy some land and create his own country.

Personally, I would be content to live the rest of my life in a neighborhood in town.  I'm a city girl - I like the activity and convenience.  So I was a little concerned about how this was all gonna work out. I wanted him to have land, because that's what he wanted. I also didn't want to be stuck out in the podunk away from...well, everything.

So the goal? Find enough land to make him happy but was conveniently located to make me happy.

Do you have any idea how hard that is?

Well, we do! We've been looking for a long, long time. And we finally found it. Nine acreages to give him some space, 10 minutes on the highway to get me to retail, restaurants, and entertainment.  It's amazing!

And the land is almost perfectly square too. Which you don't see that often. We had looked at some that had the acreage but the lay-out wasn't so great. Actually, I shouldn't say "we" - he did almost all the looking. Not that I wasn't interested - I did go a few times.  But really, grass is grass,  and it all pretty much looked the same to me. My concern was not with the land but with the location of the land.

Which is why I haven't actually even seen the land we bought. We drove to it, so I know where it is but I didn't get out and walk it. If that's what he wanted, fine with me.

So now we'll start making plans to build our final home. Super excited to be one step closer to reaching our goals and making this a reality...