Son Of A B*@#%

I got another freakin speeding ticket!

Yes, almost exactly a year after my last one! Are you kidding me?  Is this gonna be my new special way of welcoming in each new year? Because it totally sucks!

The easiest way to avoid all of that would be to just stop speeding but apparently, someone doesn't know how to watch her speed. And I only get pulled over when I'm not trying to speed.  The times when I'm balls to the walls flying somewhere because I'm late - nothin. Karma is a real bitch.

I had the girls with me, which totally sucked. They didn't really get scared but they were pretty wide-eyed. And then immediately after, every couple of minutes M would say "Are you speeding Mom?" really worried. And then we passed another cop. She was really worried about that. The best part, of course, was when we pulled up and Benny walked up to the car to greet us and she immediately flung her door open and shouted "Mommy got pulled over by a cop!"

And I cried after he handed me the ticket. Never in my life have I done that. And I've gotten a lot of tickets in my lifetime. Seriously, I think there were a few consecutive years in my early twenties that I got about two a year. And never any water-works. I don't why today, guess feeling especially irresponsible.

M  told me I could use the money in her piggy bank to pay for the ticket. She's seriously such a sweet kid.  And as I was helping  M2 out of the car she looked up at me and said, very seriously, "Mommy, I'm sorry the PoPo gave you a ticket."  I have no idea where that came from but I'm sure her police officer uncle will appreciate that one.  At least it had me laughing...

Christmas Cleanup

And as quickly as it came, it has gone...

There is nothing left of Christmas in my house. At all. It has all been taken down, packed up and put away.  Hooray for me!

Not hooray Christmas is gone, because I love Christmas, but hooray I got it done.

This is only significant because one year I let Christmas and Valentines Day intermingle. I had gotten overly ambitious while decorating and had wrapped the entire staircase in garland and bows. It was a really rustic staircase and the decorations looked terrific.

The staircase had a real "cabiny" feel. Totally not my style but I really liked it.  It was a completely weird set-up though, the stairs came down the side of the living room about four feet from the fireplace, so it cut off putting any furniture on that entire wall or in front of the fireplace.  It was such an awkward living room design, like the architect had given no thought that someone might actually need to put a couch in there somewhere. But the master bedroom was HUGE, bigger than the living room, so that cancelled out the bad living room space.

We bought that house practically unseen. It was a HUD sale that was closing the very night we found it. We met our realtor after work and she showed it to us by flashlight. We stumbled through the house in the dark, trying to figure out what room was what...Even though we really couldn't see the house, we decided that we could fix anything we didn't like.  And it was almost twice the size of our first house.

So we bid. And won.

Then we had this house with this space we didn't really need. And two rooms upstairs that went largely unoccupied. And a staircase that mainly doubled as a chair, because the majority of the time when I was on the stairs it was only to sit on the bottom two steps. So that year, when I took down all the Christmas stuff I just kinda overlooked the stairs.

Then lost motivation to do it.

And then it became a matter of stubbornness because I can be kinda crummy that way.  It bothered my husband enough that he would mention it to me but not enough that he would take it down. His philosophy was that I put it out, I should put it up. And I agree with that-it sucks to clean up after people. But that stubborn side of me took over and I thought, if you want it done, then do it!

And I do generally try to practice that philosophy. Except when it comes to power tools. Those I avoid... minus the time my husband was out of town and I needed something cut. I grabbed his saw and came dangerously close to splitting the back of our couch open. And losing a foot.

I also try to practice the philosophy of learning from past foolishness. So there is nothing left of Christmas in my house. At all. It has all been taken down, packed up and put away.

Hooray for me!

Help Yourself

Everybody knows that WalMart in December is hell. The entire month in that place is horrible – it’s overcrowded, the lines are ridiculously long, and everyone’s rude. So I do my best to avoid it around Christmas time. Which is fairly hard when you live in a town where the only shopping options are WalMart, Walgreens and Family Dollar.

So I ordered everything online. This way, all I have to do is run in, go to the back of the store, pick up my stuff and GO! Right?

Wrong.

I did run in and I did go to the back of the store but that’s where my luck ended.

There wasn’t a WalMart employee to be found. They had a neat little sign instructing me to touch the kiosk to get an associate, but the magic little genie inside that lamp didn’t feel like cooperating because no associate appeared. So I waited. And waited. And waited.

At some point, when I knew I had been waiting past an acceptable time, I whipped out my phone. Yep, now I’m trackin the time.  The kiosk had stopped blinking so I touched it again. This time a little more aggressively. Blink, blink, blink.

I’m looking around trying to find someone when I spot a woman in a blue shirt and khaki pants walking towards me.  Does she work here or is that just an unfortunate wardrobe choice?  As soon as she senses me, the head goes down and she tries at all cost to avoid eye contact. Definitely works here.  I shout out “I have an order to pick up, is there someone that can help me?” She looks more than mildly annoyed but tells me she'll get someone.

No one.

I punch the kiosk. Blink, blink, blink.

Nothin.

It’s been 10 minutes since I began tracking time. That’s my cut off.  Time to get these people moving.

I dial the WalMart number and ask to speak with a manager.

“This is Susie.” The way she said it, it might as well have been “Just shoot me now.”

In my sweetest voice I proceed, “Hi, my name is Amber Mitchell. I ordered some items online that I’ve come to pick up and I’m back in the Site to Store area but there isn’t anyone back here. It’s been over 10 minutes so I’m just gonna run back into your stockroom and grab em. I just wanted to let someone know.”

“Wait. What? You’re in the store?” Obviously, she tuned me out after hearing ‘online’.

“Yeah.  I’m here to pick up my order but there isn’t anyone here and I can’t find anyone. So I just wanted to let someone know I'm gonna run back there real quick and grab them myself. They’re already paid for-”

“Wait. I’m headed that way now.”

And guess what? Within 60 seconds I had a manager and two associates ready, willing and able to help.

Funny how that happened.