Check Point

This is what a terrible hag I am...

We've decided at the last minute to go to Colorado for Spring Break.  Hubby actually suggested it a while back but in the midst of life, it got pushed to the side and we never made a final decision. Or plans.

Then last week, our friends flew in from CO and we met them for dinner and BAM! We're going to CO.

So I am sitting her researching ski resorts feeling overwhelmed and stressed - like it's too much. We don't have enough time, things are booking up and I have no idea how to get the best deal. Our CO friends don't ski...and the friends we have that do ski, don't ski in CO...I'm in full freak out mode.

I seriously almost told the hubby to forget it completely.

Then it hit me - I'm letting this anxiety overshadow everything. I'm so consumed with worry that I've forgotten to be excited. Or grateful.

And I am. I really, really am.

So I'm going back to my research with a new attitude. CO here we come!

Cha-cha-changes

So I'm on week 5 of my 10K training! I'm still at the point where I feel like I'm doing more walking than running, but the fact that I've stuck with it consistently is major!  Because sticking with any kind of exercise routine is a struggle for me.

I'm a week behind because of the flu/bronchitis combo but other than that I've only missed one day. One!  *happy dance

It's a 14 week program, so I have a long way to go but I'm feeling good about it. I definitely need to get my speed up though. I am so slow. Like, super slow.  But I'm outta shape so what else can I expect?  I'm lugging around a lot of weight...and that's no joke.  I'm at my max weight and running 10 pounds heavier makes a huge difference. Huge.

In addition to running, I've been cooking.  Like real cooking. I got some recipes off a website that a friend shared with me a long time ago and so far, everything has turned out great. Easy recipes, good food and low calories. That's a win for everyone. Except my kiddos, because they've had to suffer the injustice of being provided several meals containing broccoli.  You can check out the recipes at skinnytaste.com, I highly recommend it.

Are You Freakin Kidding Me?

So guess what happens the day after I was bragging about not getting pulled over???

Yep.

I got pulled over.

I'm on my way to work, cruising along, listening to my morning guys when all the sudden - flashing lights in my rearview mirror.

You never really plan to be pulled over but this time was a true surprise because I knew I wasn't speeding. No, really. I wasn't. I know because I had the cruise set.

So I see the lights and my heart drops. Because honestly, getting pulled over never ends well.  At least not for me.  All those stories about cops only giving warnings? Yeah, has never happened for me.  Apparently the forgiving cops are never on shift when I break the law.

Even though I know I'm not speeding, the minute I see the lights I immediately feel guilty. And frazzled.  The officer approaches, asks if I know why I was pulled over and for the very first time in my life I answer no. Because usually I just admit it right away. I mean, who ya tryin to fool? They obviously already know or you wouldn't be on the side of the road.

It was my tag. Apparently, it's expired. Been expired. For like, a really long time. Enough time that he could have impounded my car. Yikes.

The real kicker?  It just fell through the cracks. It's not like we decided to rebel and just not get a new tag. With three cars, a boat and a boat dock that need new tags each year  (along with all the other life "stuff") - we just missed it.

Gaw! How stupid is that? And I don't even want to know how expensive that will be.  It's such a waste. Is this how responsible people live?

Oh. And did I mention that the day after our upstairs unit went haywire, our downstairs unit conked out too? Looks like it will be bologna sandwiches for a while...

Three Times The Fun

So they say bad things come in three's right?  That's certainly been the case with our house the last few days.

I was so stoked for the weekend. I took Friday off, hubby and I had some plans and then we were going to go to M's Valentines Day party at school. I always make the parties but this one was special.  They've been skating in PE and a few classes got selected to have a skating party.  M's was one of the classes. And they were letting the parents skate too. She was SO excited. That's all we heard about the entire week - the skate party.

Unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well. As soon as we picked them up from daycare Thursday, we knew. Off the urgent care we went and sure enough, they both tested positive for strep. So not only were they sick but both of them missed out on their Valentines parties. Such a disappointment.

Then, hubby banged up the car. Nothing serious - busted taillight and scratched bumper - just enough to cause damage but not enough to make it worth filing a claim.  And the little things that don't seem so big always end up costing a small fortune. Of course, I can't talk because I've done far more damage to all our vehicles than he ever has. In fact, I think I've still got one or two on him. Like the time I backed into his truck. Listen, he was pulled up beside me at a weird angle and I didn't notice when I started to back up. I mean, who pulls in like that anyway? You can't pull in catty-corner and think you're not going to get hit... But of course, he's all like "...look behind you before you back up blah, blah, blah" and suddenly it's my fault...

So we scrapped our Friday plans and I hung around taking care of some sickies.  The antibiotics kicked in so Saturday we had our own little party. Totally not the same but at least it was something...

We spent the rest of the weekend pretty low-key and lazy, gorging on chocolates. Okay, I was the only one actually gorging. Man, it was ugly. The good thing is that I just got it over with - I just hurried and ate them so now I don't have to worry about being tempted anymore.

We got an extra snow day, which was awesome. It would have been more awesome if the school hadn't called with the closing message at 4:40. But hey, we got an extra day at home so I'll take that kind of early morning wake up call any day.

And just when I thought things were winding down I feel the house vibrate. "Did you feel that?" I asked the hubby. I was totally thinking it was an earthquake. But then almost at the same time he said "Do you hear that?" and there was a loud vibration coming from the middle of our wall. What the heck?  So he ran upstairs to check...actually, I'm not sure what he was checking but whatever it was it was not the problem. Then he ran outside and our unit is vibrating like crazy. Something was definitely wrong. So we had to shut it down.  We're fortunate that we have separate units for the upstairs and downstairs but all I could think was cha-ching!  Now we've got the car and an ac/heat unit to pay for - fun times!

And all of this as I was just thinking about how awesome it's been that I broke my tradition of getting a speeding ticket in January. At this point, I think I would prefer the cost of the ticket...

Pause

I'm taking a time-out from my themed post. And why did I think themed posts were a good idea, again?

Ugh.

Not that I hate themes. In fact, I kinda love them. Themes and lists - my heaven.  But sometimes what I really want to share doesn't exactly fit into any particular "theme". Especially when they're as specific as my new year list.  Again, why did I decide to do that?

So a time-out to share...I was read!

I recently had dinner with a few new "friends". It was nice - our host recently built a big, beautiful home so we got the grand tour.  After we had sufficiently ohhed and ahhed, we had dinner. We were sitting around enjoying dessert afterwards when the host said "Yeah, I read people." Well, it took me a minute to catch on because I thought she meant she was good at figuring people out, like her intuition about people was usually accurate. So I was confused when the other woman acted really excited. I mean, it's cool to have good intuition and all...but it's not that impressive.

No. What she meant was that she could read auroras. Of course, the fist thing I did after she told me was ask if she could read mine. Not that I believe in any of that, but I wanted to see if any of it would be true.

Plus, I'm way too narcissistic to not want to know what she saw about me.

The first thing she said was that my aurora was bright purple.  I don't know anything about auroras so I wasn't sure if that was good or bad but purple is my favorite color, so I was happy. Then she said there was an energy of a go-getter, I have ambition. That I value intelligence and education. That I'm not afraid of stepping up and taking charge. And a few other things that I don't remember because honestly, she was talking really fast and just rattling them off.  Then she said "But I'm also sensing insecurity, a sense that you're not good enough."

And right then my other woman interrupts with an impatient "Read mine! Read mine!" Really? You can't wait two seconds? It just got good - let her finish!  But it was too late. My aurora had been dropped like a hot potato and she was on to talking about "orange".

Then the conversation jumped to spirits - both of them believe in spirits but our hosts claimed to be able to actually see them.  Apparently, I'm not interesting enough for spirits because I have none attached to me. The other woman's husband was very popular, as he has two that "follow" him constantly. But don't feel sorry for me - there's an older, matronly spirit that follows my children. So it's kinda like a "family" spirit. I mean, it's sorta like joint custody, right?

And as that conversation progressed, it was revealed that there had even been some ghost hunting with documentation - photos and audio. She even brought out her ghost hunting equipment for us to look at.

Of course, I was only half paying attention to any of this because I was still stuck on my aurora.  Fixated on this whole "self esteem" thing.  What? What was that about?  If you know me at all then you know if something bothers me, I can't let it go (and yes, I'm hearing that damn song right now. Curse you Disney!). It's one of my many annoying traits.

But I just had to know!  So as we were making our way into the office to hear the recording of the "ghost",  I bring it up again. She expounds a little more and shares that it's in relation to being a mom and wife.

I politely listen to the ghost recording and then the conversation turns to hauntings and casting spells and I've got to go.  It's just a little too much for me. Too much creepy. Too much darkness. It just felt like stuff I shouldn't be messing with. Almost like when you're in middle school experimenting on a ouiji board - it feels equal parts fascinating and wrong.

And of course, they live in the country on some land. Which means I'll be driving home in pitch black on back country roads. As soon as I pull out on the main road I realize I am creeped out and I call my husband.  That was good because it made me feel a little bit safer but even better, as I'm telling him about the night, everything is coming into focus and it becomes abundantly clear how much bunk all this stuff really is.

First, the actual color of my aurora. Purple is my favorite color. It's also my "signature" color - while I don't wear it exclusively, I have a lot of purple in my wardrobe. If you've seen me on more than three occasions, you've seen me wear it.  If you've seen me more than that then you've seen me wear it a lot.  More importantly, I happened to be carrying a purple purse. That in itself doesn't point to inaccuracies, except when I thought about it I realized the other woman was wearing an orange shirt. Now, it may be a coincidence, but it seems odd that both of us had items in plan view that happened to match our aurora color.

Then, what she told me my aurora revealed is no big secret.  Of course she thinks I'm a go-getter - we've had specific conversations about some projects I'm involved in. She also happens to know I work in higher education, she knows what I do for a living and how passionate I am about the importance of education. I mean, anyone on my social media pages knows that about me so it's no big shocker that it's something I value.  And then, she knows I'm not afraid to step-up because I met her through cheerleading and she saw that when I was thrown into serving as President for our parent association, that I didn't really want to but I did so for the betterment of the organization. All of that is something that anyone can say - seeing my aurora or not.

Then it struck me that I had made a comment before dinner. She had a nice, beautiful meal and I made a joke that my cooking consisted of opening either a bag or a box and referenced being wife and mother of the year. Yes, it all made sense. That's where she got the insecurity thing.

I used the term "friend" because it's the easiest way to write it but really, I don't know either of these women very well.  We have a common interest through our kids  but this was the fist time I've spent any real time with them and I don't really consider them friends. It was more like acquaintances with had the potential for friendship. So they don't really know me. Clearly, they don't know me or she would have realized that's just my humor.

So it was an interesting night. I wont' develop any friendships from it, but at least I can say I've had the experience of having my aurora read...

Don't Celebrate Or Concede Too Early

First day back at work. Much harder than I thought it would be. I was so ready – ready to get out of the house, ready to get off the couch, ready to be productive and do something.

But now it’s almost 3:00 and I’m struggling because all I want is a nap.

How appropriate is my blog topic given last night’s Super Bowl? Great game. Horrible play call but great game.  Not that I was passionate about either team – but I like games where there’s a comeback. Or a chance for a comeback. Anything besides a blowout. I like anticipation and twist.  Except when the twist leads to my team losing. Then it’s a great game with a sucky ending.

But it’s as true for life as it is for football – you never ever know what the next play will bring. I’ve been in situations that I never thought I would be in, have been given opportunities beyond what I could imagine, and have missed the mark more than a time or two.  I think you just gotta roll with it and be humbly grateful for the touchdowns and not too discouraged by the tackles. It’s a complicated dance that I have yet to master.  But I'm having fun tryin…

**Update** 
I actually went home and ran on the treadmill!  I've just recently started a running program (again) and the week off was already too much.  And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be- my body didn't go into shock. 

In my head, being fit (working out) just comes down to time.  I know it's really more complicated than that but I always feel if I just had more time.  When husband came home I was still in my workout clothes. And I use that phrase loosely- does a sports bra and shorts count as clothes? 

In your mind, that may make you think of something like this:

But I can assure you, in reality it is more like this:

That's the kinda gap I'm looking at between the body I have and the body I want. 

Yep. It's a big gap. *sigh

I was on that runners high, looking like picture 2 but feeling like picture 1 when I proudly exclaimed 'You know when I quit work I'm gonna look like this every day when you get home, right?' Then I glanced down, saw my belly hanging over my shorts and quickly added "But not as fat."  

It was my way of telling him that I plan to use my extra time to work out. Because in my mind I'm going to have all my chores done by 10:00 and the rest of the day will be spent on exercise and crafting. 

And I literally just heard all my SAH friends collectively snicker. 

Can't a girl dream?