A Day Full Of Zen

When we got home I noticed we were out of milk. Actually, I had noticed it before; I was just waiting to see how long I could put the girls off before they demanded it. Two. My kids can survive two days without milk.

So I forgot to stop on the way and it wasn’t until we got home that I remembered. That’s always a pain. It just seems like such an ordeal to get everyone loaded up again.  So as I’m walking to put my shoes back on I notice M2’s comforter on the laundry room floor. She had an accident the night before and all her bedding was soaked. And it reminded me that I also needed to get a mattress protector. This wasn’t her first accident and since she seems kinda fond of the whole peeing in bed thing I thought it might be a smart purchase. M has only peed the bed twice her whole life – that’s been awesome. Both times she was in bed with us – not so awesome.

So instead of running to the grocery store by our house I decide to go to Walmart. The girls were thrilled. They love Walmart. It’s like they wait their whole lives to hear “We’re going to Walmart.” Because they squeal and break out in dance. Every time. This trip even required wardrobe changes. Dresses, they had to wear dresses.  With jewelry.

So after 30 minutes of primping – for Walmart – we head out. I call the hubby to let him know and he asked if we’d already eaten. What?  Eat? It took me this long just to get us back in the car! He then observes that the girls will probably be starving. They are always hungry when we pick them up. But I assured him it was a quick trip – milk and a mattress protector. That was it. Quick and easy.  

But I ran through McDonalds to get us drinks, just in case. That was my trick – get them some water to fill their bellies up.  Just enough to get us through Walmart.  Of course, I got myself a huge sweet tea. Well, that was a bad idea because the minute I start driving off M2 starts wailing “I want food. I want food.” 

So we get to Walmart, I throw them in the basket and we’re off. As soon as we walk in the door M2 starts with the “I want a cookie.”  A very special thank you to the Walmart greeter who once told my kids they could have a free cookie at every visit. You have no idea what you've done. So as soon as I say no she starts wailing again. I can tell what kind of trip this is going to be…

Then I see this huge clearance area. Huge. And it’s like a magnet. I just had to go see what they had. In my mind I was telling myself I would be quick, it would just take a second. Then I found curtains. And they were so cheap!  So I go through all the curtains to find four panels that match. And there were a lot of curtains to go through. M2 has morphed from a constant “I want _____” to just plain old whining. M is keeping herself entertained by doing whatever she can to bother her sister. By now I have also gone through the tablecloths and I’m moving onto the rugs when I realize that I’m that detached Mom with the annoying kids. I snap out of it and refocus – milk and mattress cover!

But it’s too late. M2 is in full whine mode. About everything. She’s tired, she wants a cookie, she’s hungry, she’s cold, she’s hot, she wants her shoes off, she wants her shoes on…finally, I got right in her face and very quietly snarled “Stop. Whining. Right. Now.” 

And she burst into tears and says “You scared me.” to which I reply “Good. Now you won't whine.” We were both in a mood by that time.

We finally  make it to the check-out and I’ve got two items left when I see a swift movement and a sea of brownish liquid seeping all over the floor. That giant tea I bought for myself? All over the floor.  And my purse. The whole cup. And in the chaos of M moving out of the way – what was left of the two little waters with it. Nice.

I helped the employee mop it up – I felt awful that she had to clean up our mess.  I could tell she didn’t want me to. She was like just take your dang kids and get out of here.  

I apologize about 20 times, clean up the mess and get the heck out of there.  We get home, the girls run in to greet hubby and when he asks “How was your trip to Walmart?” both the girls sing out “Fun!”

Really? That’s not how I would have described it…