Friday List

It's Friday, the semester just started, and football is just around the corner! Life. Is. Good.

I really feel that all this awesomeness calls for a list but I’m all out of creativity. I got nothing. Zip, zero, nada. Sorry to disappoint, but all my energy has been spent this week on the students parading in and out of my office.

I can, however, offer you a bunch of meaningless, random, and not so interesting commentary on nothing in particular…sounds riveting, huh?

1. Throwing a belt around a shirt does not magically turn it into a dress. Try it as many times as you want, it’s still just a shirt with a belt.

2. The older I get the more compassion I have for those in need and the less tolerance I have for ignorance.

3. I textured our entire mudroom. By hand. It was a good reminder how much I hate manual labor.

4. I was in a hurry when I went to the bathroom and was a little too aggressive when I pulled down my drawers. Apparently the little bit of working out has turned me in the Incredible Hulk because my thumb went through the lace and ripped the entire side. My choices of dealing with this were limited – try to wear one-sided panties and risk them falling off at the most inopportune time or trash them. I wonder if the cleaning crew noticed when they emptied the trash.

5. I don’t know why but every time I eat at KFC, I want ice cream afterwards. And I’m not even a big ice cream person. Although I have eaten a bacon sundae before. It sounded so gross that I was morbidly intrigued and had to try it. It wasn’t as gross as it sounds.

6. Nothing has made me feel so vain and frivolous as sitting across from a young women who is missing her entire front teeth while I have five grand of metal on mine.

7. I’m not trying to be gross but how exactly does camel toe happen? Does it not feel like something’s amiss? I mean, it’s gotta hurt.

8. My lack of patience is demonstrated by the fact that I absolutely cannot lick a blow pop long enough to get to the gum. I always chew it up and mix the sucker and gum.

9. I used to say I didn’t have a “type”. Technically that’s not true, my criteria were just a little unconventional. I cannot stand “little boy” hands. Or cheap looking shoes. I don’t know why, cheap shoes just make a guy less attractive to me. So nice shoes and grown up hands.

10. I don’t understand society’s obsession with beauty or looks. It’s especially harmful for young girls who are taught that beauty is above all else. If you believe your worth is in your appearance, what happens to your self-esteem when it fades? And it will. At some point we all shrivel up and end up looking pretty much the same.