Vaykaysheruined

Warning: This post is really, really, really long and contains a lot of complaining so if you’re not in the mood to read a novel or don’t want to hear whining then return tomorrow and I’ll have something different waiting for you.

Also, with all the tragedies related to the recent tornado I am fully aware that I have nothing of significance to complain about. The losses from those events were terrible and weigh heavily on my heart. But I share my story in hopes that you might find some mild amusement in my misfortune.

So the good news about our vacation is that we did not drink bad water. Unfortunately, that was about the only highlight.

I rose insanely early Monday morning with expectations of a vacation full of fun and adventure. And lots of laziness, because I’m pretty fond of that too. We arrive at the airport and I discover that we were headed to Cozumel, Mexico. But that wasn’t the only surprise. Oh no, wait, there’s more!Because immediately after that discovery Delta informed us that we would not be receiving boarding passes and wouldn’t make that flight. Right away we asked to speak to a supervisor. No one was available and she wouldn’t be available until after our flight had already left. How convenient.

After much arguing, we were told that our only option was to fly out that night into Memphis, Tennessee then fly the next day to Atlanta, Georgia and then to Cozumel. What? Miss an entire day of vacation?! I don’t think so! We went into action – hubby got on the phone with the agency the trip was booked through and I called Delta customer service. The rep said that they could get us on American Airlines that was flying out in about an hour. The Delta rep standing in front of me said if they had seats available (they did) then to do it. We ran down to AA to get in line. The rep put me on hold. So I waited and waited. About 10 minutes later she comes back on, tells me she is trying to get it done and she’ll be back. Another 10 minutes of holding and she comes back, says “I’m still with you, don’t give up” and then we get disconnected. UGH!

I call the number back only to get another rep who knows nothing about it. He couldn’t look me up by name or case number or anything. I had to start the process all over again. Except this time he puts me on hold and when he comes back says his supervisor won't authorize it.  So I ask to speak to the supervisor who says she needs verification from the Delta people there. So I run back down to Delta. Hand the phone to the ticket agent who explains. Okay, they'll do it. With no time to spare, we’re good to go!

Only we’re not. Because then rep comes back on. Now the AA flight has filled up, there are no more seats. Seriously?

Back down to Delta we go. Begrudgingly, we accept that we’ll fly to Memphis. But we’ve got a hotel and all expenses paid waiting for us that we are missing out on. So husband talks to the rep and they agree to give us a hotel. He relays that info to the ticket agent. Do you need to speak with her, he ask. No, it’s fine. Do you need to get any info from her? Nope. So he gets off the phone and asks for the hotel voucher. They don’t print it here; we’ll have to get it in Memphis. But how will the people in Memphis know we are supposed to get a room? Well, the agent says, we can’t guarantee that. So can we get something in writing? No, she didn't make the commitment, so she can’t personally give us anything. We finally talk her into at least giving us a printout stating that we said the rep committed to a room.

Then, miraculously, the supervisor appears. Husband goes to speak with her. He’s super pissed and bitter about the entire experience. And it’s not even 7:00 yet. So he asks for meal vouchers – at that point he just wants to be compensated in some way for not being able to fly out that morning. She refuses and begins to argue with him – stupid stuff like telling us she was at the counter when we were trying to check in. Which, obviously she wasn’t unless they’ve finally invented that invisible cloak I’ve always wanted. Not to mention the fact that we specifically asked for her and they told us she was at a gate. Can someone explain that one to me?

So I’m getting us rerouted, not really listening to the conversation when I hear her scream “Did you just call me young and stupid?!” Immediately I freeze. I don’t know what has happened but I know it’s not good. Not good at all. Then my husband says “I’m done with you.” And the supervisor runs up to the ticket agent, pushes her out of the way and says “That’s it. You’re not going anywhere. I’m cancelling your tickets. You’re not flying on our airline.”

Oh my God. I am certain that my heart stopped beating for a full 60 seconds. So I step in to diffuse the situation – I calm her down, make the husband apologize and get our tickets back. Now, he was totally wrong – it was a very rude and disrespectful thing to say. But I can’t help but wonder what kind of training this chick has had…as a supervisor, I would think she would be trained in how to deal with people in highly emotional, stressful situations. Shouldn’t she have been the one diffusing the situation, instead of escalating it? And really? I mean, yes it was completely rude, but is that the worst thing that has ever been said to you? 

And then, as we walk away I look down at the stuff that she handed me and guess what? There are meal vouchers. For a grand total of $36. Thirty-six freakin bucks. Are you kidding? You couldn’t have just given us those in the first place? Was it really that big of a deal? $36 measly bucks could have pacified the situation and everyone would have walked away feeling better.

We killed the time before our flight with shopping and a movie. Not a bad afternoon but definitely not the beach.

We were in the security line when they cancelled our flight to Memphis due to weather. Totally understandable. Husband got out of line to go back to the main ticket counter to get us rerouted and I stayed in line in case I needed to do that with an agent at our gate. We weren’t sure which would be the most effective and we didn’t want to take any chances. I cleared security but no one at the gate. So I waited for husband, praying  he wasn't being led out by security. When enough time for me to get worried, I went back up front to check.

I see him from a distance and I can tell from his body language all was well. There was even a smile or two. So I go up, he tells me that we’re on a later flight to Atlanta and will get the same morning flight to Cozumel. I was kinda curious why they didn’t offer that to us that morning – why send us to Memphis at all? But I didn’t say anything, just kept my mouth shut. The agent says “let me print you a new baggage ticket…” and I walk off to leave the guys to finish business. They finish up but as he walks up I can tell he’s mad. So I run up asking what’s wrong. I’m totally expecting him to say that we couldn’t get that flight.

Instead, he tells me that as the guy was handing him our new boarding passes he says “Sir, can I ask you a favor?” So the husband agrees and the agent continues with “It shows here that you’ve been less than courteous to our agents and I need you to treat them more courteously in the future." and some other lecture type bs.  It totally floored him – first, he was completely courteous to this jack ass and second, that was 9 hours ago! Why, why would you try to ignite the situation by bringing it up again? What possible good can come from that? Especially when the current transaction has been nothing but pleasant.

But guess who had walked up and started typing on a computer right before that occurred? Weird coincidence, it was the supervisor from that morning. Strange, don’t you think? The husband responded with “That was this morning, it's over and I'm not going to talk about that.” and then got the hell away before he said something he would regret.

That flight was delayed. A few hours after the weather had clear we watched as all the other airlines send out planes while we waited. And waited. And waited. And heard everyone gripe about Delta. Not with the weather delay, that's something that can't be helped but it seemed everyone experienced rude agents, being bumped off flights or outrageous delays (not weather related).  One of the passengers, without knowing our story, told us that the ticket agent got angry with someone and threatened to not let her fly. Apparently, that's in their code book.

Then the agent came on and announced “In full disclosure, I would like to inform you that we are unable to locate our pilots at this time. We are unsure of their location. It may have something to do with the tornado. We don’t know that they were caught in the storm, but that maybe a possibility. As soon as we locate our pilots we will let you know.” And as she’s making this announcement another passenger gets up, walks 10 feet over, speaks with the pilot that is SITTING at the gate right next to ours and brings him back. What a mystery! The pilot was there the entire time! How did they not know that? I mean, I don't really understand the operations of an airline but what's your method for attempting to find your pilots because it doesn't seem to be too effective.

Lecture boy made a sudden appearance at our gate. He was the one scanning the boarding passes and as he handed us ours, he smiled, looked Benny right in the eye and said "Have a great trip Mr. Mitchell." Something about the way he said it struck me.

When we finally got into Atlanta is was past midnight. We got a hotel voucher and went to get our luggage. And guess what? The luggage never made it to Atlanta. Wasn’t schedule to go directly to Cozumel either. In fact, the tracker didn’t have it going anywhere. Well, isn’t that strange, it doesn’t show any activity past the Memphis flight. Oops, someone must have forgotten to change it in the system. No worries though, they’ll get it changed and we’ll get our bags in Cozumel.

I can't help but wonder to myself if someone "forgot" on purpose.  Maybe this is our reward from Delta - because we've done such a good job making friends.

It was past 1:00 a.m. when we made it to the hotel shuttle. When I called for pick up the hotel clerk told me they were full and not accepting airport vouchers. At this point it I was getting dangerously close to being awake for almost 24 hours. I was about to crack. We decided to go anyway - I didn’t care what I had to do, I was going to get a room. I was going to cry, yell or convulse into I was able to lay down in a bed.

We show up at the hotel and guess what? Not a peep from the clerk – he just checked us in and asked if anymore were coming because he had had a “really busy night”. He said it had been crazy and he was wanting it to slow down. Nice.

So we go to the room, open the door and find some guy spread out on the bad watching tv. Obviously, there was a problem. Back down we go. Another room key later and we finally make it to our room.

With a heavy heart and the bitterness of defeat, I throw my contacts away. That afternoon something happened – I was standing there talking and the next thing I know it felt like I was being stabbed in the eye and it wouldn’t stop watering. I kept taking them out and rinsing them off – it got better. And by better I mean instead of feeling like a steak knife it was more like a dull butter knife. But I refused to throw them away. No way.

Not only was it the only pair I had for vacation, it was the only pair I had period. No way was I throwing those babies away. Who cares about pain? Who cares that I my eye was swollen, red and occasionally leaking fluid? I was gonna save my contacts! So I told myself, and my husband who thought I was absolutely crazy, that I was going to make it to Atlanta. I could outlast the discomfort. Then, in the end, I had to throw them away anyway. I was crushed. It was such a small thing but I almost felt like crying as I flicked them into the trashcan.

Four hours later we’re up and headed to airport. I was resolved that it was a new day and everything would be fine! It was one day lost, who cares? We’re on our way to Mexico! I was still a little worried about the bag so I called first thing and was informed that it had been checked in at Atlanta and would be routed to Cozumel. Hooray! Everything is fine!



No contacts & very little sleep but on a plane so I'm a happy girl!

 

For some people the extra room from an exit seat is a waste...

Until it isn’t.

Like the minute we go to the baggage claim in Mexico and we don’t have bags. Delta was kind enough to give us a little kit with a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a brush, a razor and a tissue thin t-shirt. Why thank you Delta for your generosity. That makes it all better.

The first thing we did when we got to the resort was buy bathing suits. Besides the fact that they were way overpriced and I had four new bathing suits in my bag – this was especially annoying to me because it’s hard for me to find a suit that actually fits. See, I don’t exactly have what you would call perky boobs. In fact, whatever the opposite of perky is – that’s what my boobs are. Seriously, these babies must be suffering some major depression because I don’t remember them ever being perky. They are droopy and sad. Kinda a decent size, but who cares about size when they’re hanging to the floor?

So the main objective of my bathing suits is to hold them up and push them out. That’s about it. I don’t care about pattern, color or style – if a suit can lift my boobs off my stomach, I will buy it. And of course, none of the bathing suits there did that. So I spent twice as much money on a bathing suit that makes it look like I have the boobs of a 84 year old. Which I totally do, but I don’t want the entire world to look at me and be able to tell it.

We tried to enjoy ourselves anyway. And I have to say, it was beautiful. We had a beach front room so all I had to do was step outside and the ocean was right there. I really can’t get enough of that.



This is right outside our room <3>

Ignore the chubby legs, those belong to me



Our view during our meals



Or the free drinks. I found some banana drink that was awesome and I couldn’t get enough of that. Sooo good.

The magical banana drink.

This is how I looked the entire time :(

There is actually an entirely different novel that I could compose to share all the other trouble we had. I think the best summary would be to say that after nine days of calls and complaints – our bag finally arrived today. From Rome, Italy. No one knows what happened but the original tag was removed and a Rome tag was put on. Strange how that happened. Which just reinforces something I strongly believe - always play nice with people who can screw you over.

What was meant to be a special occasion was actually the worst trip we’ve ever taken - because it doesn’t matter how beautiful the place, having to wash your underwear in a sink will ruin the experience. So the entire vacation was spent rotating between our bathing suits and our travel clothes. Sans underwear.

So on the 10th anniversary of our marriage I look across at my husband during dinner, reminisce about our wedding day and try to ignore the fact that I’m not wearing anything underneath my leggings.

In retrospect, that part was actually perfectly fitting because there’s something that occurred on my wedding day that no one but my bridesmaids has ever known about. It’s related to my obsession with color coordinating my panties to my outfits, the fact that my special bridal panties were left at home by accident and my refusal to wear bright purple undies under my wedding gown.

Yes, ten years earlier I had walked down that aisle, took the hands of my groom, gave him a crazy look then leaned in really close and whispered in his ear “I’m about to get married and I'm not wearing any panties!”.

And that folks was how I began my marriage…