Happy, happy, happy

You know what happiness is?

Happiness is having the house to yourself for the first time in months.  It's eating an eggroll and a bowl of cereal for dinner because there is no one else to feed. *Not together, of course, because that would be gross, not happy. It's watching that trashy tv show because there isn't anyone to hear the bad language or see the adult content. It's singing at the top of your lungs, taking over the entire couch, and doing grand jetes across the living room just because you can.

Happiness is the family finally getting home, hearing "Mommy!" like they haven't seen you in a week, getting those sweet little kisses, and talking about the day. It's noise and busyness and engery. It's "can you carry me?", reading bedtime stories, and listening to a three year old recite the Lord's Prayer perfectly.

Happiness is knowing that the next day is Friday.  And waking up that next day excited just because it's almost the weekend. It's realizing there are no meetings, wearing white jeans one last time before labor day even when your husband hates them, and lunch plans with the best friend.

Happiness is this:

This girls is happy, happy, happy!

Hoops

I started life as a basketball Mom this weekend.

We started feet first with a mini-tournament. Since M has never played a game of basketball in her life this may not have been the best idea ever. Poor thing was scared to death.

I watched her across the court and could tell from her body language that she was intimidated and uncomfortable. And I don't blame her - these girls were good. And fast. And big. When they tried to put her in she started crying. I felt so bad for her - I know she just felt lost.

When I talked to her about it later she told me that she was worried she would get trampled and that the girls seemed mean because they would just grab the ball away. She's not aggressive so it scared her that the other girls were.

Husband worked with her the next morning and we spent all day mentally preparing her so she did go in the next day. And she did have fun. She was grinning ear to ear the entire time she was on the court.  But I can tell you right away this is not the team for her. So not the team.

Our friend is the coach. And he's a great guy.  He is super focused on sports - their family lives and breathes sports and they play on competitive teams. Teams that the kids have to try out to even get on.  Obviously, this basketball team isn't competitive, or M would have never made it.  But the team is comprised of the girls from his daughter's softball team. They know each other and they play really well together - they've got that team mentality where they can read each other and it just flows. And they are all talented basketball players.

No one on that team is trying to figure out how the game is played. Except M.

I'm not even talking about her talent - I don't know how skilled she is with a ball because she doesn't know the game yet.  So I feel like she's 5 steps behind the other girls right away. And that's hard.

I expressed that I thought maybe we should find a team more her speed but husband wants her on this team - he's confident she can do it. And I am too. I just think she needs to start at the beginning. With other beginners.

So we'll see how this goes!

What may be as awkward as M on the court is the fact that I think playing on this team might mean some awkwardness for some other people too...

Last year we went to a friend's house to watch a football game. There was another couple there - I was friendly but really didn't visit too much. The other wives were sitting together and talking and I was with the guys watching the game. So besides commentary about the plays, there were practically no talking. Towards the end of the night it came out that there is a tie between my campus and this guy's company but we didn't talk directly, beside me making a comment like "Oh, that's cool." As we all left,  social media came up and information was exchanged and we all connected. No big deal.

Late that night I noticed the guy had gone through my pictures and indicated that he liked them. Weird but not that weird, right?

A few days later I get a private message from him. It was completely weird, simply because we hadn't even talked that night. But the message was platonic so I responded in a completely platonic way.  Then he asked about having lunch together. He wasn't...surely, he's not...no, it couldn't possibly be in that way, right? So I told him I didn't usually go to lunch and avoided the situation. I wasn't sure how he meant it and didn't want to be presumptuous.  I really felt I was reading too much into it.  I shared with my husband and he agreed with me - we both felt that my indirect response seemed to cover it all.

We attended another celebration with our friends and the couple was there. Besides some group small talk, the guy pretty much ignored me so when we left the event my husband and I both felt even more confident that the lunch conversation had been intended innocently. I mean, I still wasn't gonna have lunch with the guy but I felt sure I had overanalyzed it and kind of laughed at myself that I would make the assumption that he might be hitting on me. I felt pretty silly.

Then randomly he sent me a proposition that made it obvious that he did mean it in that way.  I declined and he immediately explained that he had never done anything like that before and of course, never ever would.

How do you met someone, not even have a conversation with them and then start hitting on them? I mean, he can't even claim there was some kind of chemistry because we literally had never even had a real conversation. Unless you can develop chemistry from saying hello and goodbye. 

And how did he know I wouldn't immediately tell his wife?  He had no idea how I would respond.

Secondly, his wife is really, really pretty - way more attractive than me. She's tall and blond with a knockout body and a great smile. So it's not like he was just so overcome with desire for me that he couldn't help himself. I would be a downgrade.

So what would compel someone to try to hook up with a virtual stranger that is less attractive then the person they are currently with? I have only one conclusion: he thought I would be so grateful and flattered that I would be an easy yes. Or something about me just screamed easy slut.  Perhaps I watched the football game too suggestively.  Because nothing says "I'd like to screw you" like yelling "Go! Go! Go!".  

After turning him down, I never heard from him again.

Until they showed up at the basketball game.

This could get kinda awkward, don't you think?

TGIF

I cannot express to you the amount of joy I have that today is Friday. 

I am so drained that I think I might just crumple into a tiny (or not so tiny) heep the minute I walk through the door. Well...after I get dinner made, the dishes done, and the kids tucked in.  And I'm in no way trying to be a superwoman - trust me, if I could I would gladly give away the cape - it's just that I never want to make my kids feel like they are a burden. I never want them to feel that I'm too spent to put in the effort to care for them, or for them to even know how much of an effort it can be.

And at times it really does feel like an effort. Sometimes more than I think it should.  Isn't this parenting thing suppose to come naturally?  Aren't I suppose to revel in the sheer joy of being a Mom? And not have moments when I want to lock myself away in the bathroom?

Because there are absolute days where I want to. There are days I feel like I can't hear "Mommy!" One. More. Time.

And then I look at their faces, their beautiful little faces, and I remember that THEY are the priority, THEY deserve my most, THEY deserve my best. And I suddenly remember that I'M the Mom - I'm the one they are looking to, learning from, depending on.

So I pull it together.

At least I try to. I don't always do it so well - we've had way too many hotdog/pizza/anythingquickandeasy nights and I am way grumpier and impatient with them then I need to be. But at least they don't see a crumpled Mom.  Maybe slightly crinkled, but not crumpled.

I save that for when they are in bed.  Of course, by that time I usually don't have it in me to even do that.  So it turns out to be more like an ugly kind of melty blob. and I dissolve right into the couch.

And I'm allowed to do that tonight because I've had a hellacious week. Well, that's probably a bit very dramatic.  It's just been...a lot.

Actually, the last two weeks have been nonstop. In the last 10 days I have given three presentations at inservice, conducted two welcome back student orientation sessions and spent half a day conducting training  for all the tutoring programs on campus.  It took me a lot of time to prepare and a lot of energy actually presenting. It takes a lot for me to be "on".  

But I have to say, it was worth it.  I was really happy with my sessions - particularly the tutor training.  Which was actually the one I was the most worried about. But I had a great session - it went really, really well. And that's saying a lot because I am never happy with any of my trainings or any time I do public speaking. It's not that I think they all go horribly wrong, it's just that I have high standards. Especially for myself. So I always nitpick and find things that I could have done better or things I wish I would have changed. But that session, I felt like I really nailed it. Such an awesome feeling!

In addition to my "performances", classes started this week so we have had nonstop traffic (which is awesome, by the way) and a lot of meetings. Meanwhile, the emails need to be answered, the phone calls returned and the stack on my desk keeps growing. And then there is all the extras: committees & boards and things that I don't need to do but do anyway.

I've been placed on some, what I consider, important committees on campus.  This was done by my supervisor in order to promote me. And it's a good thing for me professionally but honestly, for at least one committee I'm way out of my league.  And our first meeting is next week. Seriously, I feel like I'm going to be the one that just never says anything or says something completely dumb. And I'm not sure there is any way I can prepare or get myself up to speed. And the worst part is when people think highly of you and you underperform.  If you're a slacker, people expect nothing and if you do something, even something small, they are impressed. But if you try hard to perform and are actually successful a few times? Then that becomes the expectation. And you're screwed.

And I started this stupid 10K training. So I've been making myself go to lunch each day so I can get in my gym time. That is so much easier said than done! Especially when I have a zillion things that need my attention. It just doesn't seem like a priority. But I know it is, I know I need it. It kinda hit me when I noticed that my staff asks me "Are you taking a lunch?" instead of "When are you taking lunch?" How horrible is that? I get one measly hour a day, why am I giving that up?

I know this probably sounds like I'm about to have a melt down. I'm not - I promise!  I'm just sayin I'm glad it's Friday! 

I'm gonna rest and play and revive. And be very thankful that this week is done!

Score & Fumble

Ugh. I'm watching the Steelers/Redskins game and I have to be honest - Landry doesn't look great to me.  I heard some negative but hadn't seen him play NFL until tonight.  I don't know, it may be just be the transition.  I hope so, I'm a fan. Not necessarily because I thought he was the best quarterback ever, but just because I want the guy to make it - I like a success story.

There are some Sooner fans that were never happy with him. I thought he did a good job. It's a lot of responsibility and pressure for a kid. I think people tend to forget that - they're just college kids.  My biggest concern in college was keeping my electricity on, trying really hard to remember which test was the next day, and figuring out what I was going to wear to penny beer night. And that was pretty much it.  I can't imagine having that kind of pressure in college. It's hard coming into a program where the expectations are high and the fans are unforgiving.  At least in the NFL, you get paid for the pressure.

We've had two opportunities to buy season tickets.  We passed on both. We know we wouldn't be able to make all the games and we have a really poor home schedule so it just wasn't worth the money. I was totally bummed, but decided to be responsible and not whine too much about.  But inside I was crying like a fat kid running laps.

So imagine my excitement when I had the opportunity to score tickets. So husband and I text back and forth and back and forth with a lot of "what do you think?" and "I don't care, what do you think?" so finally I just made the decision. Yes, we're going. SCORE!

Then, Sunday afternoon we realize that game is on Labor Day weekend. Which we had planned to spend at the lake with some friends and them maybe even meet up with some more friends. It was going to be the last hooray on the lake for the summer. Oops.

Double oops because I've already paid for the tickets.

I'm still excited about the game, just not a fan of ruining friend time.  Now I'm on a mission to score them some tickets so we can still get together and hang. Of course, we won't be able to sit together during the game. But maybe that's better anyway - I dont' really like to talk when I'm watching the game. Sometimes that can be like ruining friend time in a whole different way...

Tomato Fever

So guess what? 

I really wasn't kidding about my tomato kick - I've been eating them like crazy. And I like tomatoes but not eat-them-every-day like.  I reserve that spot for chocolate. But I can't get enough. I seriously cannot stop eating them. It's so strange.

Strange enough that I did a little googling and what I found was surprising and yet, not surprising. Craving tomatoes indicates low iron.

I had some blood work  done several months ago and when my labs were sent to me it showed my iron was low.  I've been anemic before and there are some simple ways to tell that's happening - fatigue, white nail beds, and intolerance for cold. I exhibited all of these so I wasn't shocked. My blood work was unrelated but when I went up for my follow-up I asked about my iron and my doc was completely unconcerned because he felt like if he could get my medication straightened out then it would resolve on it's own.

I like my doc but the lab is really inconsistent - the next time I went, I got no lab report. Then I went last week and got a partial report - it only showed the areas we were looking at so there wasn't anything related to iron.

The last few weeks my energy has been low and I'm shivering in bed, curled up to the husband while he's kicking off covers complaining how hot he is - so I just told my husband that I thought my iron was low. Either that or my hormones had gone wack. And since I didn't feel the desire to run someone over while sobbing simultaneously, I wasn't really thinking it was the hormone thing.

I know this makes me nerd-supreme but it's so fascinating to me how the body works. How the body can actually tell you what you need. All the time people (usually really thin people) say things like "Just listen to your body." Well, my body talks very quietly and most the time I can't hear it.  Except when it's screaming at me for french fries, that I hear loud and clear...

So body, I heard you and I swallowed that little iron pill like you've been asking me too. Now, can you please supply me some heat so that I'm not the crazy lady running the heater when it's 100 degrees outside?  Or if that's too much to ask then just talk to the tummy and see if you can't convince it to flatten out a little. Either one of those would work...

She Works Hard For Her Money

Worked my butt off this weekend. Oh, never mind, I just looked and it's all still there - dimples and all.

But I did work hard.  Husband originally wanted to go camping but I needed a weekend at home. An entire weekend, not just a Sunday afternoon. We've been running crazy the last month and haven't had any weekend home time.  I thought we might do something low-key, like a movie but I woke up Saturday in cleaning mode and spent the day doing some deep, intense cleaning. Ceiling fans, air vents, baseboards - all the areas that get neglected in the regular cleaning rotation.  I seriously sat down for maybe a few hours the entire day.  I even skipped lunch with the fam so I could finish cleaning the inside of the oven.  It was awesome. 

And that's not a sarcastic awesome. It really was awesome. Not the actually cleaning part, because I'm lazy and generally that kind of stuff just sucks.  But it felt good to be productive and to get stuff done and to move that much and to just get after it like a machine. I felt like such a badass. A badass cleaning goddess.

Don't make fun of me - I don't do sports so this is all I got...

 I thought my couch might begin suffering from separation anxiety so I remedied that with a slow and lazy Sunday.  Church and laundry and that was about it. And trying something new with lunch. Grilled tomatoes. The family was not a fan. I thought they were good but not if you expected it to taste like a tomato. Does that make sense?  You just had to base it on the merit of it's taste alone,  not the expectation of what you think it should taste like. I'm going through a tomato kick lately anyway so not sure about that...

Need to begin finding some good dip recipes. Two more weekends and we'll be gathered around the tv to celebrate the return of college football and maybe its just me, but I'm thinking no one wants to munch on some tomatoes while watching the game...

Green Thumb

Well, I'm not in jail. But I can't really say I'm "free" either.  After all, I'm still imprisoned by the responsibilities of living as a domestic servant goddess.

I've just decided that "goddess" makes everything sound better. I think I'll begin to use it more often-cooking goddess, laundry goddess, toilet bowl cleaning goddess.  Okay, so maybe not everything.

So we have new neighbors.  They're pretty good neighbors, although I get annoyed that they park in front of our house.  Every. Single. Day.

I get that it's a public street and I understand that I shouldn't really be annoyed. And yet I am. I think part of it is that we don't really know them at all but were super friendly with the guy that lived there before. The other part is that he never parked in front of our house.

They went on vacation the other day and asked us to get their mail and asked if M would water the plants they have on their porch.  They have a lot of plants. A lot. I'm not sure how they keep them all alive but I'm impressed. Of course, I'm not sure how much weight that holds coming from a person that once killed a cactus.

So when they asked the hubby they said they would pay M for the watering.  He took that as an opportunity to teach her the value of work and asked her if she wanted to water and told her she might get paid.

She was very responsible and had a blast taking care of the plants. Seriously, she wanted to do it like ten times a day.  Of course, her fascination doesn't really surprise me - the child has never lived in a house with a live plant until about 6 months ago. And it's alive because it belongs to my husband.

The neighbors returned from vacation today. I knew because they were parked in front of our house. 

The husband met us in the driveway and came over a minute later to get the mail.  He brought us some maple syrup (they went to Canada) and tried to hand me a wad of cash for the plants. I refused, telling him it's just what neighbors do. 

After he left my husband came around the corner acting confused.  He disagreed with my refusal of the money because he felt like M worked for it. And yes, she did.

His perspective is that it's important for her to learn to work hard and she should understand there's a reward for hard work. And I can see that point.

My point is that it is equally important to teach her that we do nice things without expectations of reward, simply because it's the right thing to do.

It's amazing how our perspectives are shaped by our backgrounds and how that translates into our values.  My husband values taking initiative and a good work ethic and I value helping others and making a difference. But I think it's good - my hope is that our kids will have a healthy dose of both. I want them to work extra hard. At making the world a better place.

And just in case you're worried that the little gardener got cheated - she didn't. Her Daddy is going to pay her. I might encourage her to buy her own plant. And I'll even promise not to touch it.

Jailbird

So I arrive at the office bright and early and notice there's a voicemail on the office phone. That happens pretty frequently as a lot of our students call during the evening hours.  So I grab my pen and a piece of paper and I'm ready to go.

The first thing that caught my attention was the introduction "This is Sergeant X, with the Midwest City police department." Okaaaay.

But then he said "I'm looking for Amber Mitchell."  WHAAAT?!  I seriously had to reply the message to make sure he really said my name.

And he did. Along with a number to call him back. But it isn't 8 yet so I think it's too early to call...isn't it? Or maybe I'm just pretty sure I don't want to take that call. Because it's never really a good thing when the police department calls, right?

Well, this is definitely going to be an interesting day...

If you don't hear from me in the next day or two - send bail money!