Bah Humbug

How is it almost Christmas?

7 days? Really, how is that possible?

I don't know why it doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Maybe it's the unseasonably warm weather we've had. Or because we're doing a small Christmas this year.  It doesn't make sense to pay for two
storage buildings (yes, we have that much crap!) only to buy more crap.  I mean, the girls are sharing this little bitty room and they hardly have space as it is - we had to put a lot of their toys and things in storage. There just isn't room.  So I feel like I've done very little shopping, very little wrapping. I finished last night and was like, that's it?  Where are all the presents?  They are getting presents. We just scaled back.

Maybe it doesn't feel like Christmas because all my Christmas stuff is in storage. We didn't even have a tree. We had a nice big tree at our old house. We kept it stored in this little built-in storage area in our bedroom but when we moved hubby decided he was just going to leave it there. It was just one more thing to haul off and one more thing to try to fit in storage.  And I don't blame him. That move was horrendous. And the tree wouldn't have fit anyway - it was taller than the ceilings in our trailer.

What I didn't expect was for hubby to suggest that we just forgo a tree completely this year. Um, no. We have young children that are kinda sorta expecting a tree and agree with it or not, that's a big part of our holiday culture. So we have a tree. This little tiny Charlie Brown looking thing.

We got it home and put it up. And that's really an exaggeration. There was no "putting up". I opened the box. I spread a few limbs. Ta-da! There was our tree.

Our tree without any ornaments.

Because, you know, they're all in storage.

What a bummer. Especially because I actually have an obscene amount of ornaments. I like to do different color schemes with our tree every year - red/green, blue/silver, red/gold - I mix it up every year. This year I had actually planned to do purple/pink/turquoise. I specifically bought ornaments in that color scheme.  Hubby would have hated it. But hey, if you don't decorate then you don't get to complain.

The lack of ornaments actually turned out to be a fun thing. The girls strung popcorn and spent a day crafting so they had fun and the tree is fully decorated. And I'm still vacuuming up glitter.

But it's not the same and I'm just not in full Christmas excitement this year. We've got some fun Christmas things planned for this weekend and I'm hoping that gives me the little bump I need.

I mean, what's Santa going to do without his designated Elf in full Elf mode?

Merry, Merry, Merry

I had an amazing night.

We had our student Christmas/end of year event. On our way to dinner we had Christmas music playing on the radio and everyone was singing and I got caught up in the moment and I just busted out singing too. And as a courtesy, I don't generally sing in public. But there I was - belting out lyrics. That got them even more excited - they were all like "Look at Amber!"

But I promise you, there wasn't a person in that van that wasn't excited, or happy, or feeling great. And that's what it's all about. I mean, here I am taking them out for a night - nothing extravagant, just dinner and a play but it was so special. For some of them it's the first and maybe only opportunity they'll have to see a play, for some it was having a decent meal and for others it was simply being around people they care about.

Then after dinner I brought out surprise Christmas presents and we played Dirty Santa. Sometimes that's difficult to play because it seems like someone always ends up mad so I was a little hesitant but they all had fun with it and it turned out great.

Then off to the play. Which, despite a minor delay due to technical difficulties, was wonderful. It really was a good production.

Driving back all I could feel was gratitude. Gratitude that everything went well, gratitude for a good evening, gratitude the I get the opportunity to have this job.  And we're singing and talking and laughing. And they're bickering about what station to listen to.  And someone is too cold and someone else is too hot and all I could do was smile.

Because this is family.

Flashback

There was a Jeremy!

He almost sank my parent's boat, how could I forget him?

Summer after my Senior year of high school. My Dad was traveling a lot for work and my Mom let us take the boat out to the lake. Without my Dad's knowledge. That was intentional because we both knew he would have said hell no. They were nearing their divorce and I think my Mom just honestly didn't care what he thought - although she did let him have the boat in the divorce, which was a lot nicer than I would have been.

So I knew nothing about boats, except how to sit in one. So Jeremy handled everything. Or so I thought.  We were cruising out towards the lake when I notice water on the bottom of the boat. A large amount of water. And very soon an alarming amount of water.

See, there's a drain plug that you're supposed to put in before you put the boat in the water.  We didn't have that in. We got really lucky because after a lot of effort, he was able to jam it in while I furiously scooped water out of the boat.

Fun times.

We didn't "date" very long - hardly at all. Shortly after the boat incident he was supposed to come over and he was super late. Like hours and hours. At one point I think he called after I paged him to say it wouldn't be much longer. But it was. And I thought it was super rude.

Him and his friend strolled in like nothing was wrong, he walked up to me and put his arm around my shoulder and I removed it and said something along the lines of "I don't think so." and I told him what I thought.

He didn't say a word, just turned around and walked out.

And I was fine with that. I knew I didn't want to be treated that way and if that was the way it was going to be, I didn't want it.  There weren't any hard feelings - we had mutual friends and saw each other a few times after that - just not a good fit, obviously.

And I just remembered that I ran in to him at a bar several years later and he invited me over to have a threesome with him and his wife.  Uh, how did I forget that?  That was a crazy experience.  I probably tried to block it from my mind. The asking was the crazy experience. Nothing else. Because my answer to him was 'No thanks'.

So there was a Jeremy...but I am 100% that was not the Jeremy that called.

Encounters Of The Weird Kind

So this past weekend marked the end of rifle season.  Hubby's been bow hunting on our new property several times but needed a little more room to use the gun.  The place we bought for his mom has 15 acres and it's really isolated so it's perfect for rifle hunting.  So he took the weekend to get away and play with his gun.

My mom had some Christmas things planned with the kids, so I found myself running solo.  I took it as an opportunity to get some girl time in. I met up with some old friends at this little dive place I used to frequent. It's one of those places that you probably wouldn't pick - I mean, deep down I'm probably really glad it's dark in there. And it was really dark:

This is what happens when you sneak a selfie in the dark

But they have cheap beer, play great music and has an old country vibe to it.  I guess I have bad taste in places but I like old country bars. So don't ever ask me to pick the place because you will end up in a dive with Waylon Jennings playing in the background.

So I used to go to this place with my old roommate. Besides the music, it was a favorite because it was low-key and you didn't have to worry about guys hitting on you. Not that I really had to worry about that ever but it was just very laid back.  Now, looking back, I am about 90% sure that all the guys left us alone because they thought we were a lesbian couple. She was a military veteran, very assertive and very masculine. And I...well, I looked like this (complete with cartilage piercing):

I'm not sure why I thought it was attractive to look like a man...

So I had a few beers, caught up with some friends and enjoyed the tunes.  I did not, however, dance. Not that I didn't want to...because it's been years. Literally, I think this was the last time and I had to two-step with someone's grandpa:

Saturday I was at the mall. I'm standing in line with my sister when all the sudden a guy a few people in front of me turns around and says 'Hey! I know you!' and it was an old friend from mid-high. Talk about blast from the past. It been years since I've seen him. But it was nice to do the little catch up thing.

It was also kinda embarrassing for a few reasons - one, I think I must have been talking loud enough for him to hear me (and recognize my voice) and two, I had just said something super catty about someone. Don't you hate it when people catch you in your worst moments?  Or I guess it should really be don't you hate it when you have bad moments? Because if I didn't have them I wouldn't have to be embarrassed about people catching me in them...

So this weekend was the first time I've stayed in the trailer alone. Friday I was out so late and just crashed when I got home so I didn't even think about it. But Saturday was kinda weird.  I don't usually get freaked out but it felt...different. I don't know why because we've always had neighbors but somehow I feel more...exposed?

My mom gets worried every time I'm alone. She's never really lived alone. She got married at 18 and has pretty been married ever since - 22 years to my Dad and then a serious boyfriend immediately after and a husband immediately after that.  It makes her nervous to be alone. I, on the other hand, really kind of like it.

So Saturday around 9:30 I had just gotten home. My phone started ringing and I was sure it was my Mom checking on me but it was a number I didn't recognize. I placed one of our rentals on Craigslist. My hubby usually does all the rental stuff so it's under his name but he was super busy so he asked me to field the calls so I changed the ad to my phone number.  I assumed it was someone calling about the house. I thought it was kinda late but I went ahead and answered it.

This man says "Amber" and  I say yes and then there's a pause so I ask who it is. "Jeremy", like that should mean something. So I ask Jeremy who? Another pause and then "You don't know who this is?" like he's hurt and then click he's gone.

It probably wouldn't be that weird if I had my cell phone number before I met my husband. Or if I could ever remember dating a Jeremy. Jeremy...Jeremy...Jeremy...nope, nothin.

I had just posted something on social media about being alone and the thought crossed my mind that I might have a silent stalker.

But he didn't call again and never broke in so I think I'm good...

Desperately Seeking Talent

We spent some time with some friends and I got to meet someone new - a couple from Nashville that work designing sets. You know like sets for concerts and award ceremonies - they got to do the CMA awards. How cool is that?

I was visiting with them and asking about their adventures and some of the celebrities they've worked with and he said that Taylor Swift was by far his favorite. He was telling me how down to earth and nice she was and then went on to say how she really is musically gifted. Because they are present during rehearsals they get to hear the singers without all the back up support systems and  he shared the a lot of singers aren't really that good but that she had the best voice he has ever heard.

I off offhandedly responded with "I wish I had a talent like that."

He looked at me, paused and said with complete confidence,  "You do. You may not know what it is yet, but you do."

It's bothered me ever since.

Do I have a talent? Am I supposed to have a talent? Wouldn't I know if I did? What if I don't?

So I've been thinking about it.

And I couldn't come up with anything. Nothing. Not one single thing.

I mean, there's a couple of things I'm decent at - I'm pretty good at making up silly rhymes/poems, I can tell a pretty good story and I can turn almost anything into a dirty conversation.

That's it.

And none of those are really talents. I mean, how is being perverted a talent?

So I was washing dishes and thinking about it. Again. I wasn't joking when I said it really bothered me. What am I good at?  So I'm good at dirty talk and can create a semi-interesting story...hum, options are limited.

My hubby has said several times that I should write a book. But a book about what? Just because I can compose a corny little poem doesn't mean I can write.

Then I remembered that I used to do these little cartoons for my 9th grade boyfriend.. I wasn't into cartoons and either was he. Plus I can't draw - they were just these little stick figures. But I had a pretty good story and they were somewhat dirty.

Not really dirty. I mean, I was a good kid and hadn't even kissed a boy. But they hinted around, had some sexual overtones. It was about a princess that was trying to protect her virginity. So definitely some sexual overtones.

But they were pretty interesting and funny. At least I think so...I used to periodically pass them to him going down the hall to class and if too much time went by he would ask for one.  In fact, we reconnected when I was about 20 and he said he had saved them.  So I think they were somewhat decent.

Then it dawned on me - I could write a book, I could totally write a book.  But it would have to be erotica.

Oh.

So back to square one...what am I good at?

Thankful & I Survived

I put a nice little bow on Thanksgiving and packed that baby up.

Second year in a row to host. Second year in a row to nail the meal. And by nail the meal I mean nothing burnt, nothing raw and no obvious evidence of food poisoning.

It's also the second year in a row that I didn't spend part of Thanksgiving in a hotel. So ya, we're living in a dumpy little trailer but trust me people, I consider this a step up.

I wasn't really looking forward to hosting, mainly because we have no space. I mean, 800 square feet (and that may be generous) is not a lot for four people and it sure isn't enough room to add any extra. Especially when those people don't bathe.

Ugh, I can't deal with tight quarters and funk.

One of the nieces has some hellion kids - two of which kept crying. And why is that so annoying?Have you ever noticed that? How annoying a crying kid is when it's not yours? I mean, yeah, it's kinda annoying when it's yours but it's at least tolerable. Other kids cry and I'm like "MAKE IT STOP!"

I had to run a few errands to avoid it all. Oh darn! I'm out of (insert random, completely unnecessary item here) - I've gotta run to the store. No, I don't already have some. Yes, I'm sure. That? No, that's a different kind of X, I need X.  What do you mean, are they different? Of course, they're different! If they weren't different, I wouldn't have to run to the store and get some, would I?

So now I have like three boxes of baking soda, two bottles of kyro syrup and a box of stuff that I'm not even sure how to use.

But for the most part, it was low-key. I made my pies and a couple of the other dishes the night before so got up and put the meat on in the morning and that was about it.  I made a huge meal but I didn't feel like I slaved in the kitchen all day. And I bought disposable everything so I wasn't stuck doing dishes. Not the classiest table setting but of all the people gobbling down food there was only one person that was going to be stuck with dishes and that was me. And I didn't want to do them either. So plastic all the way!

Perhaps the best part was that the inlaws left almost as soon as we ate. Which may be why I was trying to get lunch on the table by 10:30 a.m.

Then on Saturday I got to watch the Sooners dominate once again. I'm telling you, with the exception of the Texas game, I am loving this season! I didn't get to watch the very end of the game though, which sucks. I hate not finishing a game. But we had a long drive and hubby was ready to head out and we didn't know how the roads would be. They were fine, by the way.

I've even managed to stick with the exercising - which is a holiday miracle in itself.  And then this happened:

Yes, my fitbit literally fell apart! Of course, right when I become the active again! I've been sporting the ghetto tape for a few days now but I think I'm gonna have to put it aside until I get a new band. I can only do ghetto so long...

I haven't been able to double up on workouts since I've been away from work and no longer have access to my treadmill. Not that it would matter, I'm eating so much that no amount of exercise could burn off all these calories. But I'm gonna keep doing it and hope that I can get the food intake under control after the holidays. Yeah, after...you really think I'm giving up cheese balls and Oreo pie?

Special shout-out to my buddy CM, who saw my unflattering Before photo from a few posts ago and sent some words of kindness. Because a true gentleman will always lie to make a girl feel better...

Weekend Winning

So what do you do after you've met up with friends for a little adult socializing? You end up where you first began.

At least according to my hubby, because that's exactly what we did.  It took me a minute but as soon as we turned on the street, I knew. The bar where we first met.

I've only been there twice - the night we met and during my scavenger hunt marriage proposal (mad props to the hubby for such an awesome and fun proposal) and that second time I didn't actually even go into the bar.  Talk about a blast from the past.

It was so weird - it was the same and yet so different. Definitely not as big as I remember it - I swear the dance floor was half as small as it was 14 years ago.  But the tables and chairs were the same. I could even pick out the spot where I was sitting when he came up to ask me to dance, to which I promptly shot him down. Dude, I'm hanging out with my girlfriend - leave me alone...but he was persistent and confident and not afraid to go for what he wanted. Three traits that always pay off.

And what about those Sooners? Wow, what a game! I was tense the entire time. I just felt like we had so much riding on this game and TCU is a decent team. And Mayfield...man, I was nervous watching him scramble. I said to my husband "He needs to watch it, he's going to get hurt." and then immediately after he gets a cheap shot hit and is out the rest of the game. Perine, Mixon - the game was full of injuries.  And then at the very end TCU bounced back and I almost thought we were going into overtime. And if we would have, they would have won it. No doubt in my mind, they would have. I don't think I took a breath the entire last play. So intense!

I am just a teeny, tiny bitter because I was thisclose to getting to go to the game. I had my hands on some tickets but the hubby wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be out in the cold. Normally, I would have told him to throw on an extra layer of clothes and suck it up but then I remembered coughing on his pillow...man, karma is a real bitch!

And we are officially in the building process!  They poured the footing for our house - finally!  It took forever to finally nail down a contractor. It's hard because we aren't using a builder. Contractors pretty much ignore you if you aren't a builder. Makes sense, they need to make their builders happy to keep the business rolling in. So some dude calling for a one-time job just doesn't rank. It's taken us over two months. I can tell this process is going to be a lot slower than we anticipated...

Family pictures tomorrow! I spaced and totally didn't get our outfits planned. Yes, I'm that cheesy person that coordinates picture outfits. That usually requires buying a few things but I didn't have time. So we're going with an OU theme. Only because that's something I can easily throw together. I am a Sooner fan, but we're doing this more out of necessity than team spirit.

But who knows, maybe we'll be able to coordinate this to the year we made it to the Big 12 Championship game. Oh wait. We don't do that anymore.  Grrrrrrr.  Okay, so maybe this will be the year we make it to the playoffs. Fingers crossed!

Before

Okay, this is kinda embarrassing but here goes...

No judging.

My 4 a.m. pre-workout "before" selfie:

Tummy courtesy of two kids and a lot of fries.

Be kind, I already know I have work to do.

I'm only posting that so that when I post my "after" you can be adequately impressed.

And yes, you read that right - 4 in the freaking morning!  It's killing me! But I had a great morning workout and feel great. And I've already gotten over 2,000 steps in - and it isn't even 8 yet!

But don't be too impressed - this is my current situation:

Um, yes. That's a giant mug full of...Dr. Pepper.  Come on people, I can't help it!  I need my Dr. Pepper. Does it make it not so bad if I tell you that the other cup is full of water? No? Not even a little?

Well, baby steps, right?

Hangry

I need food.

I am dying.

Sooooooo hungry.

I'm working on my APR and I need something to munch on. Something. Anything.

I'm trying to be good and watch what I eat. Usually for me that's literal - watching whatever I want go into my mouth.  And onto my tummy. My round, lumpy, doughy tummy. *sigh

But it's getting out of hand. It's been out of hand. And I've known that but was just kinda ignoring it.

Plus, I think I have reverse anorexia. Because when I look in the mirror I don't see all the lumps and bumps. I mean, my clothes are literally like two sizes two small for me but I still think I look hot. What is that?  

Then I see a picture. And it's like brakes screeching to a halt - Wait, hold up. I look like this? For real? Damn, that doesn't look anything like what I saw in the mirror...

Bubble busted.

So I'm trying.

I've been exercising like a mad woman. Twice a day.  That part isn't too hard. What's hard is walking, lifting or any kind of  movement at all. I had to lift my hands to wash my hair - killer.  But I don't mind that part - it reminds me that good things are happening. And it kinda makes me feel like a badass.

The food is where my real struggle is.  I just can't eat clean. I can't even eat a little messy. I'm full on french fries, chips, chocolate, bacon, tacos...oh my God, I love food.

But I've been counting my calories and saying no to myself. Ugh, I can't tell you how much I hate that - I'm not used to self-denial. Hence, the position I'm in now...

I know most of it is psychological. I've had a banana, carrots, broccoli, and ham - I am not really hungry.

But dang, I could really use a bag of chips right now...

What About My Boys?

So I cooked a deer!

I don't know why that seems so exciting to me. It isn't really any different than cooking any other meat. Except it's deer and that makes it exciting.

So yeah, I sauteed deer steaks.  They were pretty good, considering I'm not that great in the kitchen. Actually, that's kinda being generous - I'm horrible in the kitchen. And I was really nervous that I was going to screw them up.  I mean, I've messed up plenty of meals but this isn't something I can just go to the store and make again. And M was really excited to eat "her" deer  - I really didn't want to be the one to ruin it.

But they turned out okay. My husband kept asking if I liked the meat.  It's sounds weird but I don't really know. I didn't dislike it. But I need to have it again to really decide. After 39 years of the same meat, I'm introducing something completely new - it's gonna take me a minute to really decide.  It wasn't as "gamey" as I thought it would be so I think I'm a fan.

We got a deep freezer this weekend too. Not so thrilled about that.  We had planned to buy a big one for our new house but the fridge in this place is really small and we needed the extra freezer - especially since hubby thinks he'll be getting more deer this season. So our only option was to buy the smallest one and then maybe upgrade at some point after we move. That seemed like an incredible waste of money and when we were looking there wasn't that much difference in price between the smallest and the next size up. So we got the bigger one.

That meant moving some furniture and stuffing it in the house. Not so crazy about the way it looks. In fact, I kinda hate it. I know it's temporary and it doesn't matter - because I plan to have no one visit me at this place - but it just looks so crummy.  And I did my best to make the place look as good as I could. When I was decorating and putting stuff up my husband kept saying "You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig." and I agree 100% but don't you want the pig to be as pretty as possible? Trust me, as a girl who has never been considered conventionally beautiful I've discovered that effort goes a long way. So does some really good lipstick.

And how bout those Sooners? They looked so good. So dang proud of my team and simultaneously pissed that they waited until after Texas to really break out. I know some have said that OU owes Texas, because that loss was the catalyst to propel them to play better but I'm thinking no. And to the OU fan that said that to me - I'm pulling your fan card.

That loss did nothing but hurt (really hurt) our chances for a national title, which is unlikely at this point. Analyst are projecting we have a 44% chance of making the playoffs but the Big 12 doesn't get a lot of love anyway and to have a loss too - it's double strike. And a loss to a team that's having a...4-6 not so great season.  We'll see but I'm not holding my breath.

At least for that. I am holding my breath that I get to go to the next game. I haven't been to a game all season. I hope that sounded as pouty and sulky as I intended it to...because I really want to go.*whiny, pitiful voice

Really though, as long as they play well next weekend (beat the ugly frogs!) I will enjoy the game from anywhere.

BOOMER SOONER!

Little Sickie

I feel like poo.

I've picked up a cold or something and it's kicking my butt. I can't breathe from my nose and when I can, it means that it's running. My eyes are puffy, my throat is scratchy and my nose is red and raw.  I am the epitome of sexiness.

So I haul my tired, poo-feeling butt in to work today.  I have a stack of things on my desk to get done, a ton of email to respond to and an annual report to begin working on but that isn't why I came to work today.  I came to work because today and tomorrow are the last two days to drop classes and I wanted to be here in case we had students who needed help.

Then a student pops her head into the office and asks me to guess what grade she's making in her history class.  When I croak out "I don't know, what grade?" she says "A 92- " then stops short as my voice registers with her and says, like she's annoyed,  "Is everybody sick?" then abruptly turns and walks away.

Oh, I'm sorry I put my personal comfort aside so I could be here to help. I'm sorry I came to work because I was worried that someone might come see me to drop and then just not do it because I wasn't here. I'm sorry if I feel like it's more important to be available on critical dates than it is to be sleeping. So. Terribly. Sorry.

I may be just a wee bit grumpy.

I do get it - who wants to be around someone that's sick?  But honestly, I think it's allergy/sinus stuff and not something contagious. Maybe I just don't take it seriously enough because I don't get why everyone is acting like I've got the plaque.

Like last night, when I got home. It was a little before midnight and of course, everyone was asleep. I crawled into bed and leaned in to give my husband a hello kiss and the first thing he did was pull away and say was "No! I don't want any of your disease." Of course, I thought he was kidding because um, hello, I've been gone for five days. That should be long enough for him to miss kissing me, right?  But no, he totally wasn't kidding.

Is a runny nose really that repulsive? Apparently so.

I did end up with a little peck on the cheek. A small compensation prize, right before he told me to scoot to the other side of the bed.

Thanks, honey, for making me feel like a biohazard.

I think ultimately,  I just need sleep. Conference was full of fun things, which meant late nights. I didn't actually get to go dancing - but I'm not bummed about it at all. In fact,  I had an even better time than I could have imagined.  It was...amazing.  It will definitely go down as my all-time favorite conference.

So yuck stuff and no sleep have me running on empty.   I think I'm going to call it a day and go home and take a nap.

And I may or may not intentionally cough all over my husband's pillow.

Sausage Queen

It's almost time - in a few days I'll be heading out to New Mexico for a conference!

Shockingly, I'm actually almost all ready.  Of course, instead of feeling proud that I'm ahead of schedule, I am plagued by the feeling that I have forgotten something. I keep checking my list and I think I've got everything done but still...

In addition to being ready, I'm also really big. As in physically.  This is the most I've weighed, ever. Even when I was pregnant with both girls.  I only gained 11 pounds with M and 10 with M2. But that's not anything to brag about because it just means I already had all the fat my body needed. Women who are already overweight will either gain very little or even lose weight during pregnancy so the fact that I was already fat when I got knocked up isn't really worth celebrating.

But just that I am heavier than my pregnancy weight - ugh.

So I'm headed to this conference and I'm going to look like a stuffed sausage because I'm squeezing my fat ass into clothes that do not fit anymore. I did attempt to find size appropriate clothes and had no luck. I shopped, and shopped and shopped and could not find anything. So stuffed sausage it is!

Besides feeling big, I've also been feeling really adventurous lately - I just want to do something exciting. So I texted a few girlfriends and asked them if they would go skydiving with me in New Mexico. I thought it would be a fun experience for us to share.

I've been skydiving before - years and years ago.  It was an amazing experience. I went with a guy friend and to this day when we talk, that experience still comes up. It was kinda funny because my boyfriend and I had recently broken up so when he found out I was going, he called and scheduled a skydive two days before mine. So weird. I don't know what that was supposed to mean but I guess he really got me, he went skydiving first!

But neither of my friends were willing to jump out of a plane.  I don't know, something about having too much to live for or something...what weenies!  So then the discussion turned to a hot air balloon ride. How exciting, right? I really thought that was going to work out but it was a little pricey so looks like that's not going to happen.  I completely understand but I am a little bummed. Like when will I have another chance to balloon over the city of Albuquerque?

So I'm banking on at least a few fun nights out as compensation. I will have to dance at least once to not feel cheated. That may not be fun for anyone else - have you ever seen a stuffed sausage dance?
But I'm going to have a blast!

Yes, Deer!

So the hubby went hunting this weekend and shot a deer!

He went hunting Saturday and got one but couldn't track it. Which turned out to be a kinda good thing because M was upset when she found out he went hunting without her and then when she heard he got one, she was really bummed.  Of course, he felt horrible about killing it and not getting to it.

So they went together yesterday and got another one!  He sent me a text from the field when they tracked it asking if I wanted to help clean it.  That would be a negative ghost rider. Not going to happen.

Which of course, he knew. It was a total joke because I mean, hello - it's me.

M was so excited. When they got home she was telling us about tracking it and finding it and was describing the grossness. She even watched him gut it. Ewww! She definitely does not get that from me - I wanted to puke just hearing about it.

My hubby gives me a hard time because I think gutting animals, chopping heads off chickens and all that other stuff is disgusting. I don't want to hear about it and will never do it. Ever. It makes me gag just pulling all that stuff from the middle of a whole chicken I buy from the store. And I sure don't touch it with my hands. Blah!

He always tells me "You need to know how to do this stuff. What would you do if you had to live off the land?  You would never survive."

He's right. I wouldn't. If the world ever comes to that, you will find me in the middle of the mall eating the world's last piece of chocolate, crying my eyes out.

So now I have to learn how to cook this stuff. That's my contribution to this whole deal. You hunt it, clean it and bring it home. I will cook it and make it look pretty on a plate. That's even, right?

*And bonus points for me for using some of the right hunting terminology. "field", "tracking" - I might be getting this down after all.   It drives my husband crazy when I say "Did you catch anything?" He was like "Kill. You don't "catch" a deer, you kill it." Oh. Taking notes now...

Halloween was a bit of bust this year. I had an itinerary of things to do and the second thing on our list was a trunk or treat but when we got there the lot was empty. No one was there. I checked and we were in the right place so I don't know what happened. Cars kept pulling in and driving around so I wasn't the only one that got bad information.

Then we tried to go door-to-door but hardly anyone was participating. And let me tell you, if you aren't giving out candy - turn off your damn light!

I can't tell you how many houses we went to that no one answered. So frustrating!  Especially since we couldn't find very many houses - it was like false hope. We were walking away from the first house that did that and M2 said "They're doing it wrong!"  Yes, baby, they are!

At the end of the night though there was candy (not a lot but enough) so it was all good...

I'm So Excited, I Just Can't Hide It

Oh. My. Gosh.

I am SO excited!

I just got an email from a legislative assistant informing me that a Representative read my oped that was published a few weeks ago and expressing support. Besides the fact that it's just cool that they thought what I wrote was worth commenting on, do you know what this means?  It's an opportunity to develop a relationship and win a TRIO supporter!

Yes, he's just a state Representative but it's just as important to get state support as it is to get support from our US delegation. It's always blown my mind that people don't understand that. I get it, we're funded by the guys in DC, they have all the power.

But what people are missing is the fact that those guys in DC started somewhere and it's usually at the state level! If you can get their buy-in when you don't have a lot of competition, when you can make it something they really care about then they are  more likely to support it when they get to DC. You make it their passion, not just yours.

And even if they never leave the state - the more "powerful" supporters we get, the better. There are all kinds of opportunities for advocacy/freebies/favors when you have a connected supporter.

I'm really not trying to gloat - I am just super, super excited about this!

My day is made!

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

Ever have so much to do that you don't even know where to begin?  That's me today.  I'm just not able to focus or get anything done.  I'm just spinning my wheels, completely unproductive. I would like to get some things but I just...can't.

So here's some random, unrelated, unimportant commentary to keep me distracted:

There's a guy in our building, about my age that I only run into when I'm wearing the same two dresses. I swear, I hardly ever see this guy but when I do I'm in the same dang thing! Not that he even notices, but how does that keep happening? I have a lot of clothes. A lot. 

***And that's as far as I got.*** 

See, I told you I was having a tough time concentrating!  Just so you know, that was from Monday - the rest of the week was much more productive.

Looking forward to the weekend. We've got adult plans tonight and then of course HALLOWEEN!

I LOVE Halloween! It's just such a fun holiday. I mean, dressing up and candy?  Who doesn't love that? I work extra hard to make sure my girls develop that same love. Again - dressing up and candy - it isn't too hard. And of course they take after their momma - anything with candy and they're in.

I took them to a little Halloween party last night - kept them up way too late but it was worth it. Plus, we're sticking them with my Mom tonight so I don't have to deal with their lack-of-sleep grumpiness.

And then of course I have got to catch up on laundry! M came to me this morning and said "Mom. Our dirty clothes basket is up to here." as she put her hand almost up to her eye.  And the sad thing is, she's probably not even exaggerating.

I do have a semi-reasonable defense though - besides my natural laziness and inherent disdain for housework.  I'm only allowed to do one load of laundry a day! Seriously.  It's in our lease. Something about the water lines and the threat of being responsible if they burst...or something. All I really paid attention to was the "one load per day" part. Because I like to stockpile my laundry. Okay, it's not that I really "like" to...it's actually just a result of me trying to avoid it.

So what I usually do, what I've always done, is just do a whole bunch of laundry in one purge - load after load after load after load after Dear Lord, please make it stop! 

And like pulling a band-aid, it hurts for a second and then it's over. Finally.

So this whole one load a day crap. It's not going over so well.

Honestly, I just forget to do it more than anything. I'm just still not used to having to get a load in every night to get it all done. Laundry is totally not on my radar. The hubby has been working almost every night after work until 8 or 9 so I've been single parenting it for a while.  By the time we get home, get dinner, get through homework, get the dishes done (and have I bitched about not having a dishwasher yet?  If not, remind me and I'll get to it in a minute), and get the house picked up - the only thing I want to do is nothing.

See what a whinebag I am?  This is like any normal night for anyone and I'm over here like "But I'm too tired to do laundry! Waaaahhhhaaa"

But seriously, this fourth grade homework stuff is no joke. I'm embarrassed to admit that there have been multiple occasions that I could not help with math homework. Multiple. Isn't that horrible?  I mean, I have multiple college degrees and I can't work fourth grade math? Wow. I don't even know how that's possible.  Well, yeah I do...I suck at math.

So yeah, my weekend will be filled with costumes, candy and lots of tears as I wade through the mountain of laundry....

Midnight Madness

Had a great meeting today!

It's so exciting when things come together. This organization focuses on moving people from housing vouchers to self sufficiency- either through employment or education. Which is where I come in- send them to me and let me help them graduate! Of course, the program could also be beneficial for some of our students getting housing assistance because they offer a cash incentive to move them in that direction (self sufficiency). So it's definitely a win-win.

I drove back to the office blasting music and singing (screeching) at the top of my lungs, I was so pumped about the prospect of this partnership. In addition to working with them, they also shared some other state programs that would be beneficial to get connected to, so good things are bound to come out of this.

Of course I was also thinking about what I said and how socially awkward I am...I'm just so dorky! But I didn't let that drown my excitement.

Know what's not exciting? Writing a grant that I'm not qualified to write...really struggling here. It doesn't help that I don't have any work space at home. Hard to concentrate when Barbershop is on and I'm planted right in front of the tv. I really have to wait until everyone is asleep before I can get a good workflow so I'm burning the midnight oil getting it done. Or trying to get it done, anyway.

And then, of course, I jump on the internet and play as a distraction. Anything to avoid doing the thing I need to do the very most!

Monday, Monday

Today kicked my butt!

After a four day weekend, it was a tough Monday.  Spent the long weekend up at Lake Tenkiller for some much needed fun. Did a tiny bit of fishing, a whole lot of eating and even more laughing.

Happy girl. I think I need to laugh more often...

Attempted to make my first ever jello shots. Mainly because I wanted to use my brand new OU jello mold. I didn't have any vodka so I improvised with coconut rum...no clue if it would work but it was the best I could do. After hours of waiting the moment of truth arrived - they were ready.  But I couldn't get the dang things out!  No matter what I did, those little suckers were stuck.  After a full jello rescue team, we managed to get two out intact, the rest were just a clump of jello blobness. Didn't stop us from eating them though, those things are good!

Can you even tell those are shaped like OU?

We got home yesterday with enough time for me to unpack bags, do laundry and get the house in order for the start of the week. I have a couple of big projects going. Actually, one super big project that I need to have finished by Thursday. And it's not looking promising because I made very little progress today. I was productive but had too many fires and interruptions to make any real progress.

I had something super exciting happen though. Well, exciting to me. I got a phone call from a man who read my op-ed in the paper. *Last weekend on our way to Tulsa I got a sweet text from a friend with the following picture, letting me know he had read my op-ed. I have the best friends! 

This guy runs a program through the Housing Authority and he said he had never heard of TRIO until reading my article but he felt like we might be able to collaborate. He wanted me to come out to speak with his staff and educate them on TRIO and learn more about their program too.  It's a little thing but I am super pumped - that's what advocacy is all about! 

So I'm meeting with him tomorrow. Of course, it's one more thing I'm trying to cram in but it's totally worth it!  Going to try to knock a few things out tonight. Kids are in bed, hubby is working - let's see how much work Momma can get done!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Bad:

It was a rough weekend for the Sooners.

We played an unbelievably horrible game and lost to…TEXAS!  Really? Of all games, this is the game you choke on? No, no, no!  This was not the game!

I can’t even begin to express how mad I was. Largely because it took me by surprise. I was completely unprepared. My husband tried to warn me but I wouldn’t listen. I just knew there was no way Texas was going to win. They’ve been sucking all season…I mean, I know its Red River. I know anything can happen but honestly, I just didn’t think Texas had it in them. And poor Charlie Strong seemed so defeated…it was OU’s game, for sure.

Headed to watch what I THOUGHT would be blow out...

Five minutes into the game and I knew we were in trouble. I tried to stay optimistic, told myself they just needed to warm up. But they weren’t ever able to get it together. We fell apart and handed the game away.  It was infuriating.  

We were at a football party so I tried to behave and act like a decent lady. I must report that I failed miserably on that count. I don’t cuss too often but man, I was letting them fly. At fist my husband was like “Whoa, with the language” and “Hey, hey, hey” but by the end of the second quarter he knew better than to say anything.  Of course, his friends thought it was hilarious that I was cussing because they’ve never heard me talk like that – even though we’ve watched plenty of games with these guys, I’ve always behaved. 

In full disclosure, some of that may have been alcohol driven. Because I knew I was going to need something to make it through that game. And it did help me through. So much so that I don’t really remember the last half of the game. Except the losing part. Because that hurt my heart.

I’ve discovered a really weird phenomenon too. I can’t handle beer. At all. It’s the weirdest thing because Long Island Iced Tea is my favorite drink. If someone is hosting and can’t make it, I’ll have a Screwdriver (my second favorite) but if I’m out drinking, I’m ordering a Tea. There are five different types of alcohol in that drink and I handle it just fine – I’ll have two and feel comfortably tipsy.

But give me a couple of beers and I am jacked up.

As soon as it was over, I found my husband and desperately whispered “We need to go. Now.”  It’s one thing to let someone hear me cuss but something entirely different to let them see me sloppy. I was not about to let that happen. I don’t care how good the party, if I feel like I’m getting sloppy, I am out.

So like a good hubby, he whisked me away to our hotel room and put me to bed.

It was as comfy as it looks - I slept like a baby

I woke up heartbroken and hungry. But the weekend wasn’t a total loss because when I texted the husband that I was awake, he told me everyone was gathering for dinner. I had a delicious grilled salmon and then went off to play some slot machines.

No luck with Cleopatra

I actually spent most of that time just walking around and people watching. It’s fascinating to me to watch people in a casino. I mean, I enjoy people watching in general, but casinos are something special. I noticed that there was no one and I mean no one was wearing any type of OU apparel. Nothing. No shirts, no hats – nothing. Except for me, of course.  Fair weather fans!  One of the guys (an OSU fan) was giving me hell during dinner because of it but I didn’t care – a fan is a fan until the end. No matter how badly they sucked.

The Good:

After a while I found most of the group gathered around a card table.  I don’t play cards.  I’ve never played and I don’t know how. So when we go to a casino, I just ignore that whole entire section. 

But most of our friends play those tables so there they were – huddled around either playing or watching. When you don’t know how the game works, it isn’t fun to watch. Plus, I was out of money.  So I was ready to head to the room when one of the guys grabbed me and drug me to a Blackjack table, despite my objections. Even after I adamantly told him I had no clue what to do, he laid out $100 for me to play on. It was very generous and very nice. But also a little awkward too. He’s more of an acquaintance than friend and I just felt bad wasting his money. Granted, the guy is loaded and he couldn’t care less – when I told him I couldn’t take his money, I’m pretty sure he intentionally flashed his huge wad of money in front of me – but it was just the principle of taking his money that didn’t feel right.  

But he was insistent, so I played. As we were placing our bets, he looked at me and said “You feel lucky?” and I laughed and said “I’m always lucky!” And guess what?  I was!

I kept getting these great hands and winning. Of course, I was betting small but I was on a streak. In about 30 minutes made enough to give him his $100 back and walked away with enough to pay for our hotel room. Win! 

It was super fun but I still didn’t feel right taking his money.

As we were going to our room, my hubby asked if he hit on me. Which made me laugh and melt at the same time. This guy is married to a Barbie doll, so the fact that my husband would think there’s a chance this guy would be interested in me…it was super sweet. He wasn’t hitting on me at all, but I’m glad my husband is still under my spell enough to think it’s a possibility.

The Ugly:

Morning view - Hardrock golf course & sunshine

After a lazy morning and a late breakfast, we were heading home when I put my hand in my lap and felt…something.  I looked down only to realize that my jeans had a hole in them. But not really a hole…it was a spot that had been worn thin. Coincidentally, that spot just happened to be right where my thighs meet. Yep, the friction from my thighs wore a hole in my jeans. Talk about depressing. And shocking. I’ve never been big enough for that to happen before…it was a good wake-up call though because I got my fat, thigh rubbing butt in the gym the very next day!

I'm mad but proud - still sporting OU
the next day. BOOMER!

Nuts

One of the advantages of living in a super small trailer is that it’s really easy to clean. The disadvantage is that if anything is left out, it looks cluttered. I mean anything. Shoes in the living room? Cluttered. Jacket on the back of the chair? Cluttered. School bag and papers across the table. Super cluttered.

So I’ve really had to make an effort to keep on top of things. I’m beginning to develop an eagle eye for anything out of place. Well, not really develop...I've always had a knack for catching details. I would say I'm really observant but that's not really true because while I have the ability to see the little things, the super obvious things usually escape me.

Like the time my boyfriend picked me up at the airport and I totally missed the fact that he had hickeys all over his neck.  But I immediately knew someone (Miss Hickey Giver)  had been in our apartment by the way a chair had been moved. Hickeys=obvious thing, arrangement of a chair=small thing. Wasting my time on such a loser=stupid thing.

Apparently not only do I make poor choices in men, but  I only focus on the small stuff...

Which may be why I noticed the teeny tiny peanut on my bed yesterday.

Okay, so what’s the big deal about a peanut, right? 

The big deal is that it wasn’t there in the morning.

I came home from work, went to the bedroom to change my clothes and the minute I looked at the bed I saw it – a single peanut. Right in the center of the bed.

I promise you, that peanut was not there when I left!

Here’s how I know:  First, there aren’t any peanuts in my house. None. Not even mixed in with anything. Not that I’m hating on peanuts, I just don’t happen to have any. When I pointed that out to my husband, his explanation was that when we went to visit my mom (2 days prior) we ate some peanuts and that one must have traveled home with us.

Okay, so just say we did carry one home and it happened to make it all the way to the bedroom and onto the bed…I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since we moved. Part of it is that I still don’t feel settled and part of it is that we downsized our bed and it sucks. If you’ve ever slept over at our house and stayed in the guest room – I’m sorry. I had no idea about the bed.

So I’ve been tossing and turning and flopping around each night. I know because my husband has been complaining about it. It’s hard for me to believe through all that a peanut would be able to stay on top of the covers. Wouldn’t it have landed on the floor?

But even if it did survive my restless sleep– I make my bed in the morning. And I’m meticulous about lining the duvet cover up so I yank it around until it’s straight.  Then I smooth it out. And I'm telling you that peanut was not there!

We had cable/internet installed yesterday (thank goodness!) and we put a line in the bedroom so my husband was quick to point out that maybe the installer was eating peanuts. First, no. He wasn’t. I was there and there was no eating of peanuts. It didn’t happen. So maybe he had one buried in his pocket and he flicked it out onto my bed when I wasn't looking?

That could, maybe, be possible except I went in to change as soon as he left. I laid my clothes out on the bed. I would have noticed the peanut!

Okay, so it’s really strange but it’s a little thing and you blow it off, right?

And I probably totally would. Except…

The other day hubby accused me of drinking all the cokes from the fridge and not replacing them. That was just weird because I do replace them. I’m usually the only one to replace them.  But I only had like two. And of course, he said he only had two. I thought he probably drank more than he realized. And I’m sure he probably thought the same about me...

But honestly, now I’m beginning to wonder. When I shared that with my husband he acted like I was crazy and said “So what, someone is breaking in to eat and drink in our house?”

Which, when you put it that way, does kinda sound crazy.

But then again, crazy things happen all the time….

Big, Bad Me

I know one of these days my mouth is going to get me in trouble.

But I just keep going...

I pulled into a busy gas station - all the stall were filled except one.  The guy was at the second pump but his car was pulled up so far that no one else could get to the first pump. Whatever.

I pulled in behind him because he looked like he was about done.  And he was.

He got back in his car. And sat.

And just sat there.

I tried to be patient but let's be honest, that's not my strength.  So I roll down my window and nicely yell "Are you done pumping your gas?"  And he's looking at me in his mirror and he nods yes.

Okayyy, then why aren't you moving? Do you not notice the multiple cars around you, waiting?

Deep breath.

Okay, so maybe he didn't notice me before, but now he knows I'm waiting so he'll get it together and move.

Nope.

He's still just sitting there.

Clogging up an entire stall.

And sitting. And sitting.

Oh my God. Is this guy for real?

And I'm mad because now he's just being a jerk.

So I jump out of my car and I march up to him.  I know, brilliant move, right?  And I say, as nicely as I can - and trust me, it took a lot of effort to not say what I really wanted to say-  "If you're done pumping gas, can you move up? I'm waiting behind you."

And the freaking moron looks at me and says no! Then he says something about waiting on someone inside but I didn't really hear that part because I was too busy being pissed off.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

And yes, the "Are you kidding me?" part actually did come out of my mouth.

You're taking up two gas pumps and you won't move?!?

PULL UP TO A PARKING SPACE!

By this time another stall had opened up so I whip around. I had to walk by him to pay so I mumbled something mean and nasty that I'm not entirely proud of, just to make sure he knew what I thought about him.

Then after I had a second to get over it I thought about how stupid that really was - because really, he could have jumped out of his car and sucker punched me. Or done something worse.  Because let's face it, I'm not really equipped to deal with any kind of physical confrontation. I mean, I'm gonna fight like hell but I'm going to lose. No question, I will lose.

So I've got to remember that I'm not as tough on the outside as I feel on the inside and get my mouth in check before somebody decides they should do it for me...

WTH

Greetings from the land of chaos and mess!

I arrived home from Atlanta late Saturday night and hit the ground running the next morning with moving.  We're about 95% done and living out of the last remaining boxes. It's super fun.

I got a call yesterday from our realtor; the buyers had "concerns" about our driveway.  Let me tell you, any time your realtor says there are "concerns" - that is a super bad thing.  Like they're not sure they want to buy the house until they can figure out this driveway thing. Since the houses are all super old, most the homes in our area do not have driveways.  We're the only house on the block to have one but they aren't convinced it's actually ours.

They had the survey pulled and it's clear as day to me, to the hubby and to our realtor but they're having trouble understanding it. I am super pissed - why is this coming up  three days before closing? Are you kidding me?  We've already signed a lease, put up deposit, paid first month's rent and had the expense of moving - we're already into this thing!

Our realtor mentioned getting a pin survey but those are expensive (about $800) and we're not putting out any more money. We've already been more than generous with them. We're putting a lot of money towards their closing and then they asked for $1,000 in repairs after the inspection came back with just a few minor things. I'm done. These people are ridiculous.

Let's hope they figure it out and don't back out - I will go ballistic. Seriously, it will not be pretty.

In the meantime, we're waiting on pins and needles for these people to get their act together. And I'm reminiscing to a week ago when I got to play in Atlanta...

On the balcony of our hotel - rare that it actually opened

College Football Hall of Fame

Go OU!

Listening to Elton John in the park - it was awesome!

The drunk guy next to me got up and there was a GIANT wet stain.
I'm pretty sure it's pee!

Then I decided all the seats were probably really GROSS
so I only sat part of my cheek on the seat

MLK's church

Finally at the airport at 11 - waiting on my ride!

Fright Fest

So my Financial Aid buddy came to visit me in my new office. He was checking out our new digs when he casually mentions the office being haunted. Just drops it in the middle of the conversation like he's asking about lunch. "You know this office is haunted, right?"

He's a comedian and messes with everyone so I thought he was joking. He spent a minute or two trying to convince me he wasn't playing - he had really been told that by the last people in our office. He even encouraged me to ask her about it... I was still skeptical that he was serious until the assistant director vouched for the story.

No, no she didn't. She didn't vouch for it, she completely reinforced it. Her daughter was a work study in that office and heard unexplained noises all the time. Apparently everyone did and they all believed it was a ghost.

Then he asked me if I knew about the suicide.

Huh?

According to the story a security guard committed suicide in our building and it was rumored that it was his ghost. He told me that our campus was listed on several haunted websites and told me to look it up.

Which I did.

Everything I found indicated it happened...labor day. Uh, how disturbing is that? 

I don't believe in ghost and realize it's all probably some exaggerated story telling but I have to admit, the early mornings when I'm all alone in the office is starting to feel just a little bit creepy...

Transition #3

It's past 10 p.m. and I just got home from driving the whole 5 miles across town to get a drink.  I needed to get out of the house. I needed to just roll down the windows, turn up the music and drive. What I really wanted was to get in the car and just run away. And never come back.

Of course I really wouldn't do that.

Because I didn't have much money on me and half a tank will only get you so far...

But seriously. I did consider it for like a nanosecond.

I am overwhelmed.

Partly because I had a hell of a day at work but mostly because we have a contract on our house.

That really wasn't how I intended to share that news. I had thought it would be more like Awesome news! We SOLD OUR HOUSE!

Except that I waited just long enough to share it that the reality and complications have begun to kick in.

Don't get me wrong - I am really happy. Beyond happy.  This is such a good thing for us and I'm super glad it happened so quick. 43 days on the market - not too bad for our little town.

So it's good, not just financially but also getting our life back. Not to gripe about it too much but oh. my. God. that whole keeping the house spotless and having to drop everything for a showing was getting old.

The buyers wanted to move quickly so we're scheduled to close on the 25th. We had the home inspection Monday and everything looks good on that end but anything can happen. You just never know what can pop up.  Which makes it difficult to move forward with plans.

I've been looking for rental property in our new house school district since we put our house on the market. The bad thing about moving to a little bitty town is that there is nothing there. Literally, there's not even a post office. So there aren't a whole lot of rental options.   I found one house - a small little 3 bedroom brick home that looked like most our rentals....except that guy was charging $1150 per month for his.

So either we're just way off with our pricing or it's a racket. And we're not way off with our pricing.

We drove around our new area one night - hoping to find something. We were about to head back home when we found it...a trailer. I never in my life imagined living in a trailer. I know it sounds snobby but I just...didn't.  It's funny because if anyone else told me that's where they live, I wouldn't think anything. No judgement, no negativity, nothing. Yet I find it embarrassing for myself.

But desperate times call for desperate measures and I wrote down the number.  When you have no options, you forget about being embarrassed and you write that dang number down.

So looks like life is having the last laugh because I'm officially moving into a trailer. And not just a trailer - a trailer in a trailer park. Just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

And in case you're wondering - no, we couldn't just get a trailer and put it on our property. City ordinances don't allow it - which is great if you're worried about people putting up trailers next to your house but sucks if you need a place to live while you build that house.

We're nervous about signing a lease until we know for certain that everything is going to go through because we certainly don't want to be stuck paying rent and a mortgage. The park manager won't let us do a month to month so our only option was to pay a deposit and first months rent to hold the place.  We don't get keys, however, until we sign a lease.

Don't ask me how that's right, since we've already paid for September.  How do we not have access to a place that we've paid for? But we don't which means we can't move anything in yet.  And since the trailer is about 1/4 of the size of our current home, we'll actually be moving three times.  One time to take all our current storage crap to the new storage building, another time to take some of our home crap to the new storage building and finally to take the rest of our home crap to the new home. It's going to be a lot of work.

Hubby doesn't want to sign the lease until the day before or day of our closing. But there is no way that will work. We've been bickering about when to sign it. I wanted to get it scheduled for this weekend so I could start cleaning and moving things over, especially since it's a holiday and I would have an extra day.  He thought that was too soon. I'm trying to figure out his timeline, but I just don't see it. I have a conference in two weeks - I'm doing some pre-conference stuff so it's an extra long trip. I'll fly out early Monday morning and won't get back until late Saturday.  We're scheduled to close the next Friday.  So when exactly are we supposed to move again?

I just think we're going to have to take a leap of faith. We need to make a calculated decision and just do it. If the house sell falls through (which it won't), we'll deal with it.  He wants the sure thing and isn't willing to take the risk. That pretty much sums up our personalities. I'm more inclined to take risk and deal with the blows if they come while mostly believing they never will.  He wants to play it safe and is always strategizing to avoid the blows that he is certain are coming.

I have a request in to the buyer that they allow us an extra weekend - that would solve everything. So keep your fingers crossed and wish us luck - we're gonna need it!

Movin On Up

First, let me say I'm a loser.

A loser with no willpower. 

Yep. I'm back on Dr. Pepper. 

Which is especially frustrating because I really need to get on track since I currently look about 5 months pregnant. No joke - I really do. I have no waist - it's just a big, squishy lump. All my friends are getting in shape and looking hot and I'm over here blowing up like Kim Kardashian's ego. 

If I'm careful, I can tip my head just right so that I don't have three chins but there isn't much I can do about the tummy. Or the hips. Ugh, I don't even want to talk about it. I only shared because you can't make a proclamation about quitting something and then just never mention it again.  Well, I mean you can...but then everyone knows you've slipped anyway. So I just wanted to get that out of the way.

What I really want to tell you about is our new office space!  Yep, we got a new office!

When our program was originally funded we had the most jacked-up set-up that you can imagine. We had two offices side-by-side on the first floor - no reception area, no waiting area, just two offices off a hall. Our lab, where students are supposed to hang out, was on the second floor.

I don't know about you but that didn't seem like a really great idea to me. I was never really comfortable having a lab that wasn't monitored so we really didn't utilize it as it was intended.

The office right next door to our lab belonged to the director of the program that was downstairs. Next to our offices.  So he was up here and down there and I was down here and up there. You followin all that? We both had space on the first and second floor that neither one of us could efficiently manage. It never made sense to me and I always thought it would be perfect if we could just swap space. Less than a year later, we did just that.

That move allowed us to function and made sense. But it wasn't my ideal space. There was another office on campus that I always thought would be perfect for our program. I told my staff multiple times "In my dream world, if I could have any space on campus, I would have Student Activities." But I never thought it would happen. For multiple reasons.

But last week, when we moved in,  I was proved wrong.

It took a while and I had to work through bureaucracy and politics and back and forth but we got it!

I was so happy to have the new space that I didn't even mind spending two hours moving an entire room full of furniture and two storage areas crammed with stuff that was left behind by the department moving out. Oh, who am I kidding. I totally minded. I actually found it really rude and inconsiderate.

But not nearly as inconsiderate as leaving behind a filthy, disgusting desk. The pictures really don't even do it justice - it was GROSS!

Yes, that's RICE.

But the space. The space is great. So bring on the chaos and stress of moving and the desk full of rice...because TRIO has a new home!

Where I'm spending my days...

 Transition two...