Easy Bake. Or Not.

Okay, so that was heavy.

I promise to keep it superficial and meaningless for a while to let you recover. I mean, who wants to hear about a bunch of serious stuff, right?

So this house.

First, let me just say I am grateful. I really, truly am.

You know I have to say that because everything else I'm about to say is going to sound like I'm complaining, right?

So we go to look at appliances. Two hours. In one store.

I should have known I was in over my head when the salesman asked what kind of stove I was looking for and I responded "One that cooks?"

Is there really that much difference between one oven and another? Yes. The answer is yes.

And of course I hadn't done any research prior because, well my false assumption that one appliance could boil water just as fast as another. But that, my friends, is a myth that you should not believe.  At least according to the sales guy.

There was just so much.

I spent two hours hearing about features and gadgets and a whole bunch of other things that make my head spin.  And all it did was make it worse for me because now I have more options. No, no, no! I'm trying to move in the other direction.

I walked in wanting a double oven and now I've got to decide between a double oven, wall oven and steamer combination or a wall oven convection/microwave combination.

And I don't cook enough to know what I'll use and what I won't use. And that's my concern - spending extra money on something I won't ever use.  The salesman highly recommended the steamer combination, he actually said it was a "game changer" but then also said there was a learning curve to cooking with steam. I have trouble cooking without a learning curve...so this makes me nervous.

It was a useful experience though - we narrowed it down to two brands and realized something that wasn't even on our radar.

The salesman was comparing the two brands and was telling us one was seamless - the two ovens literally sit on top of each other as opposed to the standard 2 inches between that you usually see.

Option 1: Standard space between ovens

Option 2: No space

Then he asked if I was doing side by side or stacking. I hadn't even considered (see lack of research statement above) side by side and our electrical wiring is already in so there's no options at this point - stacking it is.

Then he says "Then the seamless feature might be especially important for you." Why would that be impor...oh. Ohhhhhh.  It dawned on my husband at the same exact time, he asked "Are you saying that because she's short?" Stacked ovens and a short girl. I'll need to be able to see into the top oven, which could be a problem.

How did we not even think about that?

An then we moved on to refrigerators. You know how the new french door ones that have the freezer at the bottom and the fridge part at the top?  Really cool design - my husband really likes them. Which is unfortunate because when we opened the coordinating fridge it was immediately apparent that there was no way. I could barely reach the top shelf. I've never had that problem before but the way these particular shelves were set up - it was a no go.

You'll be relieved to know that I am tall enough to operate the dishwashers. We tested, just to be sure.

So I'm feeling a lot of pressure about these appliances, mainly because we're trying to get really good ones that will last a long time. Which means they are super expensive. And will last a long time. And that's a problem because if I get something and decide I don't like it...I'm just out of luck. I'll be stuck with it. Which my husband keeps reinforcing with his constant mantra of "You better get what you want because these are going to be your forever appliances."  Which is his way of saying get what you want despite the costs but I hear as "We're spending a lot of money so don't make a mistake in what you pick."

In case you're wondering, no the house isn't finished enough for appliances. We have to pick them out now so they know the dimensions when they build our cabinets. So we'll buy them and they'll store them for us until the cabinets are done.

We're having our cabinets custom built, which means we have to pick out everything. When we gutted the kitchen in our old house, I just went to Lowes, pointed to a cabinet that I liked and ordered it. Boom, done.

This isn't as easy.  At least for me.  My husband's like what kind of wood do you like? What kind of design do you want? I have no clue. I don't really know the difference between Alder, Cherry, Oak or Walnut. And I can't visualize things in my head, I have to actually see it.

So one of the trim carpenter invited us out to his house to see some of his work. We're driving out to his house in the middle of nowhere and I'm like is this really safe? To just be going to some strangers house? I watch too much crime tv for this...

But I'm here so I guess it was safe enough.

Actually, he was great. His wife and him were both great - we stayed for about an hour talking wood and visiting. They were both just really friendly, nice people. He then called a builder and they let us go into two new houses that were under construction so we could see some of the wood grains on real cabinets.

He also sent us to a client that had just remodeled their kitchen. Again, it was kinda weird just showing up at a strangers door like "Hi!  I'm here to look at your cabinets." But at least I know what kind of wood I like. And of course, it's the more expensive one.

So I thought of going with the cheaper one. Because really, if I was buying an existing house it's not like I would go into the kitchen and say "Oh, look at this grain! I don't like it, we're not buying this  house!" In fact, I'm not sure I would even notice that much. So really, it won't matter that much here either. But my husband said no, we're getting the wood I like and not to worry about the money.

But I am worried. Mainly because he's not.  He's lost his mind. He's encouraging me to upgrade and saying to take costs out of the equation.  Who are  you? I mean really, I don't know this guy.  This is the same man that wouldn't buy a $12.99 dress shirt because he thought it costs too much. Twelve. Ninety-nine.

I get this is our forever home and you want it to be nice but babe, we still gotta eat.

Take Two: Part II

Well, it's true...the second time really is easier!

I went in telling myself that it was going to hurt like hell.  So if nothing else, at least I was prepared.

We actually had a chance to talk this time. Last time she was busy trying to keep me on the table and I was just trying to remember how to breathe so there was no real conversation. Of course, I was trying to use the conversation as a way to distract myself.

And it totally worked. Because I had intended to tell her that I didn't want a full Brazilian. Not that you really need to know, but that really isn't the best look if you have an ugly vagina. Girls like me need a little something to help detract the ugliness. Which is why I totally get the bedazzling trend. What? You didn't know that was a thing?  Hey, sometimes a glued on rhinestone can make all the difference...

But I was concentrating so hard on what she was saying, and not what was happening, that I completely forgot to tell her to skip that area. I didn't remember until about .0002 seconds before I felt the wax being applied. Dang, I needed to keep that!

And I'm pretty sure the conversation distraction worked both ways. Because she spent a lot of time on my backside. Like, a lot. She was telling me about her ex-husband and just kept going and going. And I know that I'm a hairy beast but that hairy? Not that I don't appreciate the thoroughness, because I do.

So my rules for a successful wax are simple: prepare for the pain, mark the spot you want to keep in advance and make sure and ask about that ex!

Take Two

I'm about to go for round two of waxing torture.  

And it is a form of torture. Forget capitol punishment - just wax a hairy person for a minute or two and I bet they decide to straighten up real quick.

I should have gone last week but was too busy. I also may have been avoiding it just a little. But I'm at the stage that I can't avoid it any more. Which is about a week away from "Ummm, are you gonna take care of that?" and two weeks away from "You need to something about that NOW."  Us hairy girls can't mess around.

I'm nervous now that I know I have a reason to be. I was all "No Fear!" at my first appointment and we all know how well that went. This time I'm anticipating the pain. Which actually kinda makes it worse because my legs clamp shut just thinking about it. Natural instinct.

The Bringer of Pain, also known as the wax lady, told me it gets better, that the first appointment is the most painful. But she's getting paid by the job so of course she's going to say that, she's banking on girls like me believing her. Or being gluttons for punishment. Or buying a three pack before the first appointment. Why, why did I do the three pack?

So wish me luck. I think I'm really gonna need it.

Tax Man

2016 marks the first year I've ever owed taxes.

And not just owe, but owe big. Almost $5,000.

If that doesn't knock the wind out of you, you must be rich. 

We knew it was coming but still, that number hurts.

We got bumped into a higher tax bracket about 3 year ago. Not the good higher tax bracket where you get all the extra discounts but the bad higher tax bracket where you just get to pay a higher percentage and still be poor.

We've been saved because each year we've bought a house and the rehab cost can be written off - usually the write off is greater than any amount collected in rent for that first year so it actually comes out as a profit loss. A good thing for taxes. Honey, we have a profit loss! Yesss! Let's go to Applebee's to celebrate!

This year we spent a lot of money renovating a house but we didn't get it rented until after the new year. So we spent all that money but can't write it off until next year. Guess we won't be going to Applebee's, huh?

We also had to pay our accountant his fee - $600 smackers. Is there enough left for McDonalds?No? I didn't think so. Hey kids, ever had fried bologna sandwiches? No? You'll love them! And if you don't, better learn too, they're gonna be on the menu for a while...

Hope your tax day is a little less painful!

13

Thirteen weeks.

It's been thirteen weeks since I stopped drinking soda.

That's the longest I've ever gone in my life.

I did have one relapse. We went to see Zootopia on one of our Friday Family Fun nights and I got a soda for all of us to share. I didn't want to be selfish and get an unsweet tea since I'm the only one that likes it. I also didn't want to pay over $5 for another drink.

In retrospect, I should have gotten them a soda and a water for myself. But honestly, I hadn't thought it through so when they asked what drink, I kinda panicked and didn't even think of that as an option. I was also distracted on my phone and rushed since the movie was about to start...so obviously panicking doesn't ever lead to good decisions.

In the grand scheme of things, it's still not bad. Especially for me. I was kinda worried it would open the floodgates but it didn't.  I just chalked it up to a one time deal and moved on.

Of course, right now what I want more than anything is a Dr. Pepper. Which is why I'm writing this. I'm trying to remind myself that I've gone 98 97 days without one. I can go one more.

My goal is to complete the entire year without another one. That's probably one of the hardest things I'll ever do but that's what I have planned.

Yeah, I know - it's kinda ridiculous that something like that makes the "hardest ever" list. I know it's lame...Maybe someday I'll do something impressive like run a marathon or train for a triathlon. Or maybe even just run 7 miles.

But today, it's not drinking a Dr. Pepper.

****Amendment****
I am totally allowing myself one on my birthday. You only turn 40 once so hell yeah, I'll be drinking that Dr. Pepper.  That's really all I want for my birthday anyway...just give me a huge Dr. Pepper and a lot of love and I"ll be a happy, happy girl.

Weekend Winning

I got my house clean!

Not that it even mattered - both girls had tournaments so we were barely home. But hey, if there would have been time for an inspection, it would have passed. 

The tournaments were in different towns so we swapped Sunday. I don't know how single parents do it. There were two of us and we could barely make it. I felt like I did nothing but run kids around the whole time. 

And it sucks because the tournaments started so early on Sunday there was no time to go to church. Our church only has one service, so early service isn't an option. That did work out for my benefit though because I got a nap. I woke up, ate breakfast, visited for a while and then went right back to bed. It was super nice.

In full disclosure, that was actually my second nap of the weekend. We had about two and a half hours between games on Saturday so M2 and I rushed home and I got a nap then too. Hubby was super jealous because none of his breaks were that long. Mom for the win!

Since we were out at the fields the entire weekend it probably was not the most fun visit for our friend, but I had a great time. We stayed up entirely too late Saturday night talking. Oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard. I seriously did not want to go to bed. Man, I love spending time with people that make me laugh.

And since the weekend was busy, I needed a little perk for this Monday. How about these cute babies?  

There's just something fun about electric blue heels...

Running On Fumes

I've spent my night cleaning.

Exciting Friday, huh?

I'm not particularly fond of cleaning in general. Oh my God, that's an understatement. I kinda hate it. A lot.

Tonight's especially tough because I am dead tired. I've been tired all week. Like the completely zapped, barely enough energy to breathe, I don't want to do anything tired. I haven't been that tired since Mono Attack of 2001.

I'm telling ya, if the hubby hadn't met Mr. Snip-It about 6 years ago, I would seriously think I was pregnant.

So I'm struggling.

All I want to do is lie in bed under a mountain of blankets and sleep for days. That's reasonable, right?

But we have an out of town friend coming to visit so it has to be done. No getting out of cleaning duty this time.

Normally it wouldn't be a huge deal, I keep my house clean enough for company. Well, most the time. Okay, sometimes. Oh who am I kidding? I'm gonna need at least 24 hours notice before you stop by.

But seriously,  I wouldn't normally care so much. Especially when I'm this tired. If we're good enough friends that your crashing at my house, then whatever.

But this is different. Last time he came to visit he stayed several night with us. We didn't take off work for his entire visit, so he was at our house alone. Not a big deal, right?

Except he kept stumbling onto all my housekeeping shortcomings. Like every single one.

While we were at work, he rewired our surround sound. For the better, it was a really cool thing to do. The problem was that we had hardwood floors, which makes dust more obvious - I mean, there's nothing for it to sink in to, it just piles up. And as gross as this is, I rarely dust behind the tv. Which is exactly where he had to go to connect all the wires.

Of course, I immediately thought of that when he showed us what he had done. My very first thought was "Oh no.  I bet it was dusty."  but then I was like, "Nah, he's a guy. Dudes don't even notice stuff like that."

Oh, but they do. At least this one did. Because he told us he was wearing a black shirt and he had to change because his shirt got so dusty.

He had also had made us a cake. And I guess when he was looking for measuring stuff, he pulled out the one junk drawer I have. Out of all the cabinets you look through, that's the one you pick? Every single drawer in my kitchen is nicely organized - except the one you open.

And I know he got into my junk drawer because in the sink was the measuring cup that came with my floor steamer. Since I have a zillion measuring cups and he instead used my steamer cup...I'm guessing that was the first and only drawer that he opened.

He also happened to see the embarrassingly large pile of clothes I had tucked in my room, thinking they would be out of the way. I can't even say anything about that one. I basically have piles of clean clothes about 95% of the time. But look, there are four human's worth of clothes against me. I lose every time.

And I know it doesn't matter, but I'm convinced he thinks I'm some sort of horrible housekeeper. Quite possibly because there may have been an entire conversation about it during his last visit. No worries, hubby assured me that he did not marry me for my cleaning or cooking.

But I'm still not letting this guy see my house unless it's spotless. I don't know, I guess I have something to prove. I mean, I'm totally not a great housekeeper but I'll be damned if he knows it!

So we're bumping Friday Family Fun night and I got to work. Isn't that how everyone wants to spend Friday night? I mean, I could either let it go and crawl in bed or obsess over every little detail and drive myself crazy trying to make this place look magazine perfect.

I'll let you figure out which one I'm doing...

To The Two - Thank You

Ahhhhhh!

I just had the best workshop experience!

Our attendance has been down lately. I've been pretty bummed about it.  It seems like no matter what I do, I can't get our students to come to our workshops.

I looked at our topics, our presentations, the times - I just couldn't identify what the problem was. And it seems to have gotten worse.

So today, I had a workshop.  I had one student. ONE!

I was SO disappointed.

Out of all these students, one?!?

What the hell is wrong?

Then about 10 minutes in, another student came in.

Two is not much better than one but it's better. And I'll always take better.

During our workshop one of our graduates came into use the lab (it's shared space).  She's taking a course on our campus concurrently with classes at her 4-year.  I have an open door policy for any alum of our program - I will always try to help you and support you. I can't spend money on you but if you need to use the computer, a letter or recommendation, advice or just need a place to study, COME ON!

So I go through my workshop and it was GREAT!  They asked questions, were engaged but most importantly, it seemed like the information was helpful. And that's really the whole point of everything I do - if it doesn't help our students, it doesn't really count.

So after the workshop I was wrapping up and had to step out to grab something. When I came back into the lab the students were all talking and our alum was sharing what a great experience she had with our program and the students were talking about how much they'll use the information I presented.

It did my heart some good.

I mean, I went in disappointed, thinking "Really, I went through all this trouble to present to two?" and then...it turned out great!

It's amazing that sometimes things turn our completely opposite of what you were expecting.

The Apology That Never Was

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they say they're sorry.

And even more by the way they don't say they're sorry.

I mean, we've all gotten those, haven't we?  The non-apology apology. They're easy to identify because they're usually filled with everything except the most important part: the I'm sorry.

Why is that so hard for people to say?

That one little part changes everything; without it the message becomes self-centered and egocentric. And not much of an apology at all.

I mean, if there isn't an "I'm sorry" does it even count as an apology? Am I just making the assumption you're sorry and the rest is...what?  What is the rest?  I'm lost.

And I don't need you to grovel or beg or go to great lengths to convince me of your regret. A simple "I'm sorry" is enough. Because isn't that what we all seek in an apology - acknowledgment? Just to have our hurt acknowledged? "I'm sorry I hurt you" goes a long, long way.

So if you're apologizing without the apology, you might as well save it because it's obvious you aren't sorry at all.

Workhorse Wanna Be

Ugh.

I am not cut out for manual labor.

That's something my husband doesn't seem to understand.

I learned really early in our marriage that he though he married some sort of workhorse. No, no, no - I'm just a regular horse. Sorry to disappoint, but just a regular old horse am I.

But he doesn't see that. Not at all.

And I don't get it because you want me to be a soft, feminine woman and be able to work like a man? It doesn't work that way - you can't have both. The tougher you try to make me, you're just squeezing out the soft part. And that's the part I like...so please, please, please don't turn me into a calloused hands woman.

But he had plans for us this weekend. Work plans. Can I just tell you how much I hate work plans?

The good part is that they finally got done framing our house. The bad part is all the debris left.

That's the interesting thing about construction, in case you didn't know. None of the crews clean up after themselves. And I'm not just talking about construction stuff either. Cups, bottles, food wrappers - it doesn't matter what it is, they just throw it right down on the ground. I had read about that online so I was prepared but still - how is that okay?  What other job is there out there where you can just leave behind a freakin mess?

One of the many interesting things I found. This explains a lot...

So guess who got to clean up?

Yes, a full day of lugging boards around to the fire pit and picking up roof shingles. And all the other stuff left behind. Fun, fun.

So. Many. Board.

Progress. Oh, wait. We haven't even gotten to the back yet...

Then, when I think I was moving too slow, hubby put me on a new assignment - driving nails out of some of the used boards. Sounds pretty easy, right?  It's just hammering. I thought so too - until about my tenth board. About that time my arms were like jello from lugging the boards over and all the hammering. But maybe it's because all the boards looked like this:

So I officially hate manual labor. If you could convince my hubby of that, that would be great.