Bedlam Blues

Disappointing weekend for Sooner fans.  After 8 years we blew the Bedlam game.  And I mean literally, we blew.  I don’t know what team was out there but it wasn’t OU.  We have way too much talent to play like that. 

Usually I try to be compassionate – they’re just young college kids, they have a lot of pressure to perform, and I’m not the one out there playing…but really?  Really?  That game was just embarrassing.  We could have played better, we just didn’t. 

Here’s the game – would you like that gift wrapped?

Always #1 to me!

OU has won the Bedlam game every year that I’ve been married – guess I need to find another way to remember how long I’ve been a Mrs…

Let Me List The Ways

I’ve been asked to serve as Treasurer for our state association.  It’s time for me to make a decision but I still don’t know what I want to do.  There is a part of me that would like to do it – I believe strongly in stepping in when there is a need and I like being involved.  The other part of me is hesitant for a multitude of reasons...and if I sign on then I’m committed for a year.  I just don’t know…sometimes I have the hardest time making decisions!  But that’s not the only thing I have difficulty with, here are some other things I find challenging:

1. Putting clothes away.  I can throw them in the washer, transfer them to the dryer, and even sort them out but I can’t seem to actually put them away in the drawers.  The positive side to that is when the clothes actually do get put away I always feel a real sense of accomplishment and pride.

2. Anything athletic.  I’ve tried different sports and I suck at all of them.  When I first met my husband he was convinced that wasn’t true; his philosophy was that it was all just a matter of practice. I played for a short time on a church coed softball team and I didn’t want him to come to any of the games – we hadn’t been dating that long and I wasn’t quite ready for him to see me embarrass myself.  One night he came to a game.  I was mortified. After watching me play, he was certain that all I needed was practice. I quickly disproved his theory.   So I accept my role and put my big mouth to use by cheering in the stands – it’s the closest I’m ever going to get to being in the game.

3. Not flushing my toilet paper.  I’m probably not alone on this one either.  My in-laws don’t flush toilet paper; they put it in the wastebasket.  And it doesn’t matter what kind of business has been done – it’s not suppose to go down the toilet.  And I just can’t do it.  I try to be respectful of the way they do things but I just can’t.  So every time I go to the bathroom during a visit I feel like I’m committing treason…and I always have to check to make sure everything is gone after I flush so there is no evidence.

4. Taking over.  I don’t ever mean to, I just have a lot of enthusiasm – I just jump in and do it.  I try to be conscious about it when I’m working with someone but still, sometimes I worry that I’m stepping over the other person.   And even though I will continually ask, I’m not always certain the person would tell me even if they thought I was. 

5. Folding my tongue.  You know how some people can like bend their tongue in half?  It’s supposed to be a sign of higher intelligence or something like that…never been able to do it, ever.  And I have tried! The same with tying a cherry stem with my tongue, which was the ultimate impressive thing to do in high school because it gave all the boys something dirty to think about. Reason #1457 I couldn't get a date in high school.

6. Holding my tongue.  If you know me at all then you understand that one completely.

7. Balance.  I have a tendency to be an extremist – I’m all the way in or all the way out and either way I go full force.  It can be tough because I can get consumed.  And it makes it difficult too because there have been times when I should have walked away or moved on but I was too tied and wasn’t ready to let go or give up.  A positive to the extremist mentality is that once I love you I will love you forever.  Even though I would probably never admit it.

8. Math. I know just enough to get by and anything beyond that I’m not even really sure I care to know; I just don’t have an interest.

Hummm, maybe I should consider that last one when making my decision – math is probably an important skill for a Treasurer to have…

You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me Lucille

Be warned: I feel like whining.

I got snubbed during M's dance class tonight.  Not politely ignored but blatantly, intentionally snubbed. And it bothered me.  And what bothered me most is that it bothered me at all.

But it irritates me because I find it so silly and immature.  I don't know, that kind of stuff just drives me crazy.  I'm not taking it personally - there are just two Moms who ignore everyone except each other.  Apparently, they have a limited capacity for friendliness.  Didn't mean to scare you ladies into thinking I was trying to create a BFF dance mom trio; I was just making small talk.  It's kinda someting I like to do - it's called being friendly.

We had studio pictures tonight which meant the entire dance troupe was there and I ran into an old friend that I haven't seen in several years.  I had no idea her girls took dance at the same studio.  I had heard she was pregnant and when I saw her she looked pregnant so I made a big deal about it. 

Except she wasn't pregnant. 

I was mortified.

The only thing that even makes it kinda, sorta not so bad is that she just had the baby - he's only a week old.  But still, I feel horrible.  I broke the number one rule - never, ever assume anyone is pregnant.  It's just too dangerous.

So yeah, the conversation was a little awkward after that.  Which really bummed me out because we used to be good friends and I would have liked to really try to reconnect with her.  After the whole mistaken pregnancy fiasco I don't think she was really into it.

So we make it home with my hurt feelings and foot in mouth and I decide I'll tackle the outside lights.  Go for a little Christmas cheer to salvage the night.

Ugh. That was a big mistake. 

First off, it was cold and dark and I couldn't even really see what I was doing.  I wrap this one huge bush all the way around and it's one of those prickley bushes so it kept stabbing me in the hand and then, all of the suddon, I hear something crawling around in there.  I didn't see what it was, and I'm glad I didn't, but it scurried out and ran off.   Ewwww.

Second, I'm too dang short to try to hang lights without a ladder. And even though we own several ladders, none of them are at our house. I've been told that if I remember to remind someone about them that I might get them this weekend.  But I had already started and I'm impatient so I decided to keep going.  So my house looks ridiculous. There is a tree that only has lights about 1/4 way up because that's as far as I could get them. And my jump and toss method really didn't work out too well because the ones that are on the tree landed all crazy.

Third, we don't have enough extension cords. Or I'm putting out too many lights.  Either way, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have like 8 strands of lights stacked into one exension cord.

And then, as I'm walking into the house,  all the lights in the prickley bush go out...so I spend some time getting stabbed trying to fix them and nothin.  They're just out. Which just makes everything look that much more ridiculous.

I had planned to finish decorating inside tonight but I think I'm done.  I'm gonna go to bed and try for a new day...

Running On Empty

I am crazy.

I just agreed to run in a relay marathon.  Six miles.  I had the option to do a 3 mile leg but did I decide to do that? Nooo, not me - I wanted something more challenging. 

What have I done? 

I have until May to get ready but I’m not even sure where to begin…I am so out of my league.  Really, 3 miles probably would have been pushing it.  And I’m going to try to run double that?  And try to run it well?  I am seriously scared. 

I’m going to get online today and find some kind of runners meal plan…I know I need to clean up my eating.  And that’s gonna be tough because I eat horribly. And I’m going to have to find some kind of training guide or something to help me get run ready.  I mean, I know it’s more than just jumping on a treadmill and hitting the start button.  Do I need to start running every day?  Do I concentrate on distance or speed?  What kind of goal timeline should I set?

And goodbye sodas.  I’m starting to wean myself off today…my goal is to be soda free by the end of the week and to stay off of them until after the marathon.  That’s gonna be huge – the longest I’ve ever gone has been about 2 months.  I don’t know why that’s such a vice for me but it is…

So this whole thing is going to be tough for me and I’m a little freaked out.  But I’m excited too – just to do something I never thought I would do, just to see if I can.  I like doing things like that – it keeps my spirit strong.  Now I just gotta hope I can get my body strong too…

Thanksgiving List

Tomorrow morning we are off for no man's land - going to spend a few days in the middle of nowhere visiting the in-laws for Thanksgiving.  Literally, there isn't anything around, except the highway.  Which means no computer and no internet so I'm sharing my Thanksgiving list early.

I goes without saying that I'm most thankful for my family.  I'm lucky to have a husband that works hard in order to build for our future.  A husband that makes sure my birthday, our anniversary and Christmas are always extra special for me - not because he thinks it's important but because he knows it's important to me.  A husband that doesn't always "get" me but that always loves me.

I'm thankful that I have been blessed with two very smart and funny girls who fill my heart and keep me laughing.  They really are my greatest joy.  I'm also very fortunate to have such a loving and close extended family.  "The Family", as my husband affectionately refers to them, has provided a foundation of love that has enable me to be a well-adjusted, confident, and happy individual.

Of course, my family aren't the only people who have influenced me or shaped me in some way - there are lots of people who have taught me lots of things.  So here are a few random thank yous:

J.P. - thanks for loving so well. And for teaching me patience (and making me spell it).
K.P. - thanks for making such difficult decisions. I know those decisions were always made with love.
D.M. - thanks for being so aggressive when you needed to be.
P.S. - thanks for demonstrating such poise and class. I have yet to live up to your example.
D.H. - thanks for teaching me how to do it the right way.
J.H. - thanks for throwing rocks at my window in the middle of the night. I was always glad that I was your favorite.
L.B. - thanks for always trying to understand the other side.
Q.F. - thanks for keeping me focused in faith.
A.L. - thanks for your willingness to help me out whenever you can.
L.B. - thanks for the good conversation.
R.F. - thanks for taking me to my first Governor's watch party. I'm sorry I made us late. Thanks also for lending me your Ludacris cd - I didn't realize it would become a rent to own but after 13 years, I'm pretty sure I've had it longer than you did.
D.H. - thanks for never judging me, although you know enough that you have the right to.
B.F. - thanks for spending hours on the phone with me watching Cops. You were a better friend to me than I deserved.
R.R. - thanks for getting me.
T.F. - thanks for influencing my passion for making the world a better place.
S.C. - thanks for an amazing summer. I can't think of 1995 without thinking of you.
C.M. - thanks for giving me a chance.
B.L. - thanks for teaching me what you knew and making it look easy while you did.
B.F. - thanks for energizing me with your passion.
C.J. - thanks for not having the courage to ask me to dance. And for telling your friend that I was cute enough to call the next day.

Holiday Mode

I'm officially in holiday mode!  We had a little office Thanksgiving today - it was fun.  I used photos from our directory to make silly pictures of everyone and then snuck in and hung them up before we had lunch.  It was funny to watch people as they recognized their own faces - most the time they didn't even catch it at first.  And then I made everyone write down the one thing they were most thankful for and we had to guess who wrote what.  Most the responses were pretty obvious but it was fun. 

What I enjoyed the most was just hanging out.  Last year was our first holiday and I had only been on campus about 2 months so I was still pretty new.  And we were on a different floor, kinda left to our own - there were two other offices but they were large offices that did their own things.  Now that we're upstairs there are some offices that, like us,  only have a few employees so we all got together this year.  So happy we did!

I spent the last 30 minutes of my day breaking out my Christmas decorations.  Tomorrow I'm on a mission to make my office and our tutor lab a fun, festive place of holiday spirit! I don't officially decorate my house until the day after Thanksgiving (or the day we get home from the in-laws since we always visit them during that holiday) but I want it to be done for when we return and I'm so glad too because it's getting me in the holiday spirit!

It's a good thing too - I was beginning to get just a little bit scrooge!

Make It Count

We lost. Again.  I am SO bummed. And frustrated.  Neither of these loses should have happened.  We played poorly and got beat by teams that aren't as good as we are.  A loss is always hard but giving it away, man, that really stings.  But that's what happens when you play poorly and no amount of Sooner magic was gonna help us out of it.  Still love my team though.  But they better win Bedlam this year...

There were upsets all over this weekend - it was just a strange weekend.  And then, the OSU tragedy - the head women's basketball coach, assistant coach, and two others perished in a plane crash.  I just can't imagine how difficult that must be for the families right now. I am especially struck by the death of the assistant coach - the youngest on the plane, she was only a year older than me. She wasn't married and didn't have children, which in a way is easier - but that is exactly why it has struck me. She was so young and there was so much in life that she didn't get to experience.  She never got to experience the joy of pledging her life to the one she loved, never felt the rush of love when seeing her newborn for the first time...it just seems so incomplete.

And maybe she never wanted any of those things.  Maybe her life was exactly everything she ever wanted it to be...but it makes me think about the value of each day and the importance of doing just that - making your life what you want it to be.

I don't have a bucket list.  I know people swear by them and feel they are important and I get the concept but I don't have one and don't really feel the need for one.  If I died tomorrow I would feel that the things I've wanted to do with my life I was able to do: get an education, build a family, and try to make the world a little better.

Sure there are a few places I think it would be cool to visit, maybe a few things I might like to do but if those things never happened I would be okay with that - I wouldn't feel like I was missing out. So I think for me, my bucket list would be just to remember that I have in my life all that I want.

And I'm not sure why, but that's something that is so easy for me to forget sometimes. I've really not been the kind of wife I had hoped to be - I've fallen short in the expectations I had for myself and hurt the person I pledged to love.  It's a disappointing and painful experience to lose sight of what is most important to you.

And so for me, I think about making the most of my life, making my life complete...and it's really simple, appreciating what I have and always being grateful for what I've been given. So in my lifetime, that's what I'll work to do: love the people I love in the best way I can.  And maybe work in a few OU games too...