A Day Full Of Zen

When we got home I noticed we were out of milk. Actually, I had noticed it before; I was just waiting to see how long I could put the girls off before they demanded it. Two. My kids can survive two days without milk.

So I forgot to stop on the way and it wasn’t until we got home that I remembered. That’s always a pain. It just seems like such an ordeal to get everyone loaded up again.  So as I’m walking to put my shoes back on I notice M2’s comforter on the laundry room floor. She had an accident the night before and all her bedding was soaked. And it reminded me that I also needed to get a mattress protector. This wasn’t her first accident and since she seems kinda fond of the whole peeing in bed thing I thought it might be a smart purchase. M has only peed the bed twice her whole life – that’s been awesome. Both times she was in bed with us – not so awesome.

So instead of running to the grocery store by our house I decide to go to Walmart. The girls were thrilled. They love Walmart. It’s like they wait their whole lives to hear “We’re going to Walmart.” Because they squeal and break out in dance. Every time. This trip even required wardrobe changes. Dresses, they had to wear dresses.  With jewelry.

So after 30 minutes of primping – for Walmart – we head out. I call the hubby to let him know and he asked if we’d already eaten. What?  Eat? It took me this long just to get us back in the car! He then observes that the girls will probably be starving. They are always hungry when we pick them up. But I assured him it was a quick trip – milk and a mattress protector. That was it. Quick and easy.  

But I ran through McDonalds to get us drinks, just in case. That was my trick – get them some water to fill their bellies up.  Just enough to get us through Walmart.  Of course, I got myself a huge sweet tea. Well, that was a bad idea because the minute I start driving off M2 starts wailing “I want food. I want food.” 

So we get to Walmart, I throw them in the basket and we’re off. As soon as we walk in the door M2 starts with the “I want a cookie.”  A very special thank you to the Walmart greeter who once told my kids they could have a free cookie at every visit. You have no idea what you've done. So as soon as I say no she starts wailing again. I can tell what kind of trip this is going to be…

Then I see this huge clearance area. Huge. And it’s like a magnet. I just had to go see what they had. In my mind I was telling myself I would be quick, it would just take a second. Then I found curtains. And they were so cheap!  So I go through all the curtains to find four panels that match. And there were a lot of curtains to go through. M2 has morphed from a constant “I want _____” to just plain old whining. M is keeping herself entertained by doing whatever she can to bother her sister. By now I have also gone through the tablecloths and I’m moving onto the rugs when I realize that I’m that detached Mom with the annoying kids. I snap out of it and refocus – milk and mattress cover!

But it’s too late. M2 is in full whine mode. About everything. She’s tired, she wants a cookie, she’s hungry, she’s cold, she’s hot, she wants her shoes off, she wants her shoes on…finally, I got right in her face and very quietly snarled “Stop. Whining. Right. Now.” 

And she burst into tears and says “You scared me.” to which I reply “Good. Now you won't whine.” We were both in a mood by that time.

We finally  make it to the check-out and I’ve got two items left when I see a swift movement and a sea of brownish liquid seeping all over the floor. That giant tea I bought for myself? All over the floor.  And my purse. The whole cup. And in the chaos of M moving out of the way – what was left of the two little waters with it. Nice.

I helped the employee mop it up – I felt awful that she had to clean up our mess.  I could tell she didn’t want me to. She was like just take your dang kids and get out of here.  

I apologize about 20 times, clean up the mess and get the heck out of there.  We get home, the girls run in to greet hubby and when he asks “How was your trip to Walmart?” both the girls sing out “Fun!”

Really? That’s not how I would have described it…

Homeless

No house for me. I bid but wasn't willing to go as high as everyone else. Seriously, some of these people were just being insane. The whole point of buying from the tax sale is to get cheap houses, not to pay market value.

I have to think these are people who aren't fully aware of what it means to buy from the tax sale - there are a lot of risks. For one, you can't see the inside of the house, so you really have no idea what you're getting. The house we bought a few years ago was a burn out. So we had to completely gut it and rebuild. That's a lot of time and money. And the only way we were able to do that was because we got it so super cheap. In the end it worked out because inside it was a brand new house - from the sheetrock to the floors - but again, it took time and money.



Before



During Clean Up

 


After (our tenants are fond of porch chairs)




Sometimes the owners are occupying the home and you have to get them out. That could be a nightmare. They're angry that they've just lost their home and don't want to leave. Some of them destroy the house before they vacate. There could also be liens on the property or title issues that can take a long time to work out.  It's just not a clean process. So you have to buy cheap enough to make it worth it. And these people were not. One of the properties sold for $60,000. Cheap for a house but not cheap for a house you've never seen or for so  many potential complications. We're just not willing to invest that much money into something blind. 

And it's crazy too because you have to pay cash for them. No financing - you have to buy them outright right then and there. You can't even leave the premises to get the money.  And it's just hard for me to fathom the amounts of cash some of these people have access to. I know one guy had to have spent about $100,000. Who has that kind of money laying around?

We still have a few more on our list but I'm not that optimistic with the numbers that these people are throwing out there. My only hope is that maybe the big spenders are done spending...

House Hunter

I had planned to blog about my weekend - how excited I was to meet my husband's high school friends, what it was like to meet the former girlfriend, and how I walked away with some new friendships and a deeper appreciation for small high schools. 

But really, all I can think about right now is that tomorrow I'm going to be buying a house. By myself. 

I'm going to the annual tax sale - where they auction off properties that have 3 or more year's worth of unpaid taxes.  We've bought a house at the tax sale before  but I wasn't there - the husband handled all that. It's his thing. 

This year the list of housing was incredibly long. Ridiculously long.  Over 1,300 houses.  Of course, some of those get paid before the sale but it's still a lot of houses.  They start the auction and continue until all the houses are bid out - and it usually lasts for several days. My husband has a commitment tomorrow that he can't get out of, so I knew it might be a possibility that I would have to go alone but I honestly didn't think I would. I thought  was hoping he would buy something today.

But he didn't - the houses that we're scouting for are further on the list...sooooo tomorrow I'm going solo and we'll see what happens. I'm excited but a little nervous too - only because I won't have anyone to consult with. I mean, I want to bid enough to win an auction but don't want to overpay. Like I said, this is kinda my husband's hobby - he's the expert, not me. Ask me about cleaning, kids, and laundry and I've got an answer. House buying, not so much. 


And I can tell he's nervous too. I think it's killing him a little to send me off alone. This is the kinda stuff he lives for.

I ran up there today, to see how it was handled since I've never been. There were so many people! It was a little intimidating. I'm hoping tomorrow a lot of them just stay home. Or that they spent all their money today. Either way, it doesn't  matter - I'm showing up ready to buy.

And I'm just crossing my fingers that I get a good, cheap one!

Observations From A Fun-loving, Loud-mouth, Over-eater, Avid Reader, French Fry Lovin, High Heel Wearin, Dance Floor Junkie

Random observations from the past few days:

"Vacationing" With Kids Is Not Real Vacationing: We had a great time in San Antonio - it was really fun family time. We spent an entire day at Sea World, explored the local area, enjoyed some quality time with a dear friend, ran through the Alamo, had a ride down the Riverwalk and even took a carriage ride. It. Was. Fun.  The entire trip centered around the kids - and it should have! And I'm so thankful we were able to do these fun things for them - M is still talking about the carriage ride, a request she made (repeatedly) since day one. And there is nothing cooler than watching your child light up with excitement. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

But when you have kids, at least young ones, trips are work! Just the logistics alone. We're in line to do something or on the one stretch of desolate highway with no bathroom in sight and someone has to pee. Or someone who declared they weren't hungry is starving 30 minutes after we leave a restaurant.  

Just taking them to a restaurant! They do good from the span of being seated to receiving drinks - anything after that and it's "Get in your seat!" "Stop banging your fork!" " I said stay in your seat and get that fork out of your eye!"  Young kids (at least my kids) do not have the patience to wait that long for a meal. And can we blame them? Patience is not innate - I don't remember but I'm sure it was quite a shock the day I realized the world did not, in fact, revolve around me. And almost every child's earliest "restaurant" experiences are at fast food places - where they sit and get their food immediately. My kids associate sitting at the table with getting food. So the concept of having to wait doesn't always bode well...So we made provisions - for the benefit of our kids and our fellow diners. No fine dining. No hoppin pubs. If the place doesn't have booster seats, we're out.

So my sister can say I'm spoiled all she wants - we're going to continue to take a Mommy/Daddy trip each year too. Even if I don't go anywhere except to a hotel across town. I want to sleep in past 6:30.  I want to have a conversation without getting interrupted 10 times. I want to be able to enjoy a delicious meal without hearing "Mommy, I have to poop." right in the middle of it.

My Kid Loves Roller Coasters: M rode her first roller coaster at Sea World. She rode it about...oh, 15 times. I'm not kidding. She had some apprehension before it started but after her first ride she ran and got right back in line and just kept going.   And this makes me SO happy because I love roller coasters! Deep down inside I'm a thrill-seeker - roller coasters, scary movies (psychological thrillers, not gory stuff), anything that can get my adrenaline pumping. My husband, on the other hand, hates that stuff. He doesn't do roller coasters and won't watch a scary movie. So I'm so excited to have someone to share this with - eventually. No worries, I'm not breaking out the scary movies just yet.

Public Restrooms Are Disgusting: This isn't a new observation but after what I endured this past week, it warranted repeating.   We frequented a lot of restrooms on the 8 hour drive. A lot. And some of the cleanest were the gas stations. It was surprising because the absolute worst was Sea World. It was just gross. Not clean at all. Even the floors. It was like someone just pushed a mop around without ever rinsing it - so it was just like they spread the pee all around. And I don't understand why normal behavior doesn't apply to public restroom use. Don't most people flush the toilet at home? Then why, why, is it okay for you to not flush so that I have to discover your lovely parting gift?  And if someone peed on their seat at home, they would surely clean it up, right? Then why is it so hard to wipe it off in a public restroom, because I'm certainly not wiping it up for you. 

My Kid Is So Stinkin Cute: This isn't new either - but I just had to say it. My baby girl is at such a fun age.  M spelled something out and we had to guess what it was. When she told husband he was right, M2 beamed up at him and said "Good job Daddy!" and you could tell she was just so proud that her Daddy could spell.  Later that night she said very sarcastically,  "Really, Daddy? Seriously?" Only 2 and so full of attitude. I'm going to enjoy it now while it's cute and not think about the teenage years.

Orthodontist Work Should Be Done By...Well, Orthodontist: One of the wires on my braces was just a little too long. It actually went all the way to my last tooth (which has no bracket) and it kept getting caught - when I would eat, when I would brush my teeth and sometimes when I would talk. So I had the bright idea to have the husband snip it off for me. This is just what I do - I'm a do it yourself fixer. But it usually doesn't work out - I have ruined enough clothes and spent long enough with a bad haircut to know that I should just leave it to the professionals. But did I do that? Of course not.

So I convinced him to snip it off. But he snipped it just a little too short. Or the edge is jagged. Because it pokes me constantly now. And I reached in to see if I could kind of bend it in and it pricked my finger and made it bleed. Twice. This wire is serious. And of course, the smart thing to do would be to call the Orthodontist and tell them what happened. Bud will I do that? Of course not.

I'm just going to try to not talk or eat or do anything that might require me to move my mouth. Until my next appointment. In July.  

I Need To Be Doing Other Things: Headed out of town tomorrow to go to husband's 20 year high school reunion. I've got to figure out what to wear and get us packed. We're leaving straight from work so I've got to get it done now - doing anything extra in the morning is out of the question. Right now I just feel lucky if we're all wearing shoes and have our teeth brushed!

Down South

We’re taking off tomorrow for a mini-vacation. Heading down south to San Antonio for a few days. Going to make the rounds to the big spots – Sea World, The Alamo, River Walk…It isn’t a sandy beach but I’m super excited. 

When we started our family I decided that I wanted to take the girls to visit each state – I just thought that would be cool for them to say that they’ve been all across the US.  Obviously, we’ll visit more than one state during some of the trips to get them all in. So we’ll start close and as the get older and are able to tolerate longer road trips we’ll branch out…so we’re off to begin the tradition!

So pumped!

Six Feet Under

I loved my first grade teacher, Mrs. Ebbey. She wore bright red lipstick and high heels with butterfly designs on them – I thought she was beautiful. And she decorated her classroom for each holiday, which I thought was so much fun. I couldn’t wait to see what she would put up.

One day she begins to talk to our class about the next holiday – Memorial Day.  I was so excited – new decorations! So I raise my hand and ask “What are you putting up next, caskets?”

I asked her that because, at the age of six, I knew exactly what a memorial service was.

My whole life, my entire family has been involved in the funeral business. My great-grandfather and grandfather owned funeral homes. My Dad worked for a vault company and all my uncles either worked in a funeral home or for a vault company as some point. My Dad even got one of my boyfriends a job at a cemetery.

Some of my earliest (and best) memories of my Dad are from when I was really little and would get to go to a set-up with him. A set-up is when the vault company goes to the gravesite and prepares for the service by lowering the vault into the ground, covering the mound of dirt with fake grass, putting up a tent and setting out chairs for the family. Then we would drive over somewhere in the cemetery and park, inconspicuously, and wait for the service to end.

Unlike most movies, families typically don’t shovel the dirt themselves.   Actually, in almost all movies, what you see is the family shoveling dirt directly onto a casket. This wouldn’t happen even if the family did do that – because caskets are lowered into the vaults and vaults have lids. So what you should actually see in movies is the dirt being shoveled onto a big cement box…

But typically, the casket is lowered in the vault (which is already in the ground) and the family leaves. So we would wait for the gravesite service to end and my Dad would put the lid on, put the dirt back, and clean up. And he would always let me take one flower from the arrangements that were left. It seems really tacky now but as a young girl that was my favorite part. That and playing King of the Hill with my sisters on the dirt mound while my Dad set up.

And it was never morbid to me. I know when you talk about playing in a cemetery people visualize Wednesday Addams but it wasn’t anything like that. We understood death and what it meant but we weren’t obsessed or fascinated with it – it wasn’t something dark. 

In fact, my family was always able to find some humor within this very somber profession. Never in a disrespectful way – in a way that would lighten the burden of sorrow that they witnessed each day. They talked for years about a doing a show about the funeral business – and several years ago someone actually did. We should have taken the idea seriously…

I would like to write a book about it – another for my long list. But I’m fascinated with the history and evolution of the business - it’s amazing to me. Even if I never write a book I think it’s interesting enough that I want to formally write down some of the information that my grandmother has shared – for family historical value alone. Did you know that back during the time when my great-grandfather was in the business that one of the duties of the town funeral director was to also run the ambulance? That seems like such a contradiction! Can you image that today – how many lawsuits there would be?

And the deceased used to be kept in the home too. Funeral directors would go there to embalm and dress the bodies. My grandmother says that when the trend became to change – when they began to take the bodies from the home – that my great-grandfather was convinced that the idea would never catch on. He couldn’t imagine that people would begin to get comfortable with sending their loved ones off somewhere.

Which is funny because I can’t imagine keeping them!

Bottoms On

Had an orthodontist appointment today. I wore the free shirt I got at my first appointment - the one the tech obviously did not think would fit.  Petty? Yes. But worth it. So there, you rude witch! Learn some manners and give people the size they want without your snarky comments.

My new ortho outfit

I finally got my bottom braces on. I'm happy about this because my top teeth have been moving out and my bottom teeth haven't...so, guess who was starting to look like Bucky Beaver?

The orthodontist came over for a quick minute - I usually only see him in about 15 second increments when he checks the work. Really, the quality of my smile is in the hands of the dental tech. But he said things looked good and then muttered something about a spring. He never talks directly to me so I had no idea what he was referencing. But apparently, when he said "spring it" - he literally meant for the tech to put a spring in my mouth. Which she did.

Yes, I have a spring in my mouth. I have a wonky tooth on the bottom. The only really crooked tooth I have. It's never bothered me - it's on the bottom and you can't see it...but from an orthodontic standpoint, it's a real booger. And requires extensive metal.

And it keeps getting cuter...

They also put two huge globs of something on two of my top teeth to prevent them from hitting my bottom brackets. So when I close my mouth, my top and bottom teeth don't really meet.  Whatever they put on my top teeth are what actually make contact. It's very annoying.  And I won't be chewing my food very good for a while. I tried at dinner but it didn't go too well. Which makes sense - since your teeth are suppose to meet in order to chew.

Those black dots keep my  teeth from meeting. Nice, huh?

So this whole braces thing is no joke. Only two years though, right?