Mini

Got a little workout in tonight. Nothing to brag about but at least I did something. Which is more than I've done in a long, long time.

I really, really, really didn't want to. But I told myself I was going to start back today.  I've told myself that about 117 other times too - and there's only so much disappointing myself before it gets old. I kinda wish it had gotten old about 10 pounds ago, but whatever.

And it's kinda funny because I think about all this metal in my mouth. What a pain it is, how much work it is, how much I hate it. Not to mention expensive - man, it costs a fortune! All because I wanted straight, even teeth. And if you ask me if it's worth it, I would say yes.

But it makes no sense to care so much about  my teeth but then let my body go. Do I hate working out? YES. Is it a pain to do it? YES. Is it hard work? YES. Is it worth it? Ummm, well...I'd rather just sit on the couch and watch tv so I guess that would be a no.

See, I told you it didn't make sense.

So, I'm changing my attitude. Trying to anyway. Focusing on the benefits and end results and hoping I can remember that my thighs are just as important as my incisors...

Love Bug

I’m feeling sentimental and sappy today. The Blue in me must be raging because I am all mushy and full of love. I’m almost ready to go stand on the corner to pass out free hugs.

I said almost.

I’m just so thankful for the people I have in my life. I think more than anything life is about creating relationships. Having deep, meaningful connections with people. And even the not so deep and meaningful connections, really. I think above all else, it’s about people. Because what could be more important than that?

I think that’s why I work in the programs I do – to make a difference, change a life, watch someone grow and succeed. That kind of stuff feeds my soul. And I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true…

So I’m full of gratitude, full of love and just so thankful for my special friends.

I'm Toast

Spent the weekend at the lake with some friends. We had SUCH a good time. We finally got the boat out - I've missed being out on the lake. And the kids had a blast. Our friends have three and it was fun to watch them take turns "driving". Such a big deal.

It was the most relaxing weekend I've had in a while - I spent my time on the boat or napping. Or eating. That's about it. I may have spent a little too much time on the boat though - because I'm burnt! And no, I didn't put on sunscreen. Because I don't burn! Usually. I guess I need to stop claiming my Lebanese heritage prevents me from burning. I actually think this is about the third time I've gotten a little pink and each time I've said "But I never burn!". I don't know why, it's not like it's a source of pride - "Hey, check out my super awesome ability to block these UV rays. Cool huh? Yeah, I've been working on it for months!"

No, it's just literally hard for me to understand that I burn now. I went my whole life without sunscreen. My. Whole. Life. Days and days at Whitewater, days and days at the lake, days and days laying out - without a sunburn. Ever. I don't know if my skin has changed with age or if it's just because I'm not really a sun baby like I used to be...either way, I think I need to readjust and start with sunscreen.

It isn't super bad but it's on my shoulders - where my back was to the sun. It doesn't really hurt unless something is pressing into it. Like my bra.

Add that to the list of things that suck about being a woman...

We Closed

So today was an exciting day - we made a big purchase.

We bought this:

Yes - we bought some land!

Ever since I've known my husband,  he's talked about owning some acreage away from the city. And it isn't any city in particular - he just needs space. He would have never moved away from the country except there was little opportunity or financial stability.  So his plan has always been to buy some land and create his own country.

Personally, I would be content to live the rest of my life in a neighborhood in town.  I'm a city girl - I like the activity and convenience.  So I was a little concerned about how this was all gonna work out. I wanted him to have land, because that's what he wanted. I also didn't want to be stuck out in the podunk away from...well, everything.

So the goal? Find enough land to make him happy but was conveniently located to make me happy.

Do you have any idea how hard that is?

Well, we do! We've been looking for a long, long time. And we finally found it. Nine acreages to give him some space, 10 minutes on the highway to get me to retail, restaurants, and entertainment.  It's amazing!

And the land is almost perfectly square too. Which you don't see that often. We had looked at some that had the acreage but the lay-out wasn't so great. Actually, I shouldn't say "we" - he did almost all the looking. Not that I wasn't interested - I did go a few times.  But really, grass is grass,  and it all pretty much looked the same to me. My concern was not with the land but with the location of the land.

Which is why I haven't actually even seen the land we bought. We drove to it, so I know where it is but I didn't get out and walk it. If that's what he wanted, fine with me.

So now we'll start making plans to build our final home. Super excited to be one step closer to reaching our goals and making this a reality...

Pour Some Sugar On Me

Because I don't think I've consumed enough with this giant, delicious cupcake I just inhaled. Oh my gosh, it was so good. And I'm rationalizing that if I don't eat lunch, the calories will kinda be cancelled out. That will work, right? 

See, I knew that my ability to rationalize any situation to my benefit would be a useful skill.

Now back to work. I'm anxious to see what I can accomplish during this hyped-up sugar rush.  Hey, if I really get a lot done I may decide to have a treat every single day! To increase productivity.  I mean, what kind of boss would I be if I knew how to make myself more efficient but didn't? Gotta set a good example...

Yep, I am the queen of rationalization. And the princess of denial. Titles that allow me to float through life, carelessly enjoying cupcakes...

It's The Good Times That Count

Made a new discovery today: silk dresses should not be worn in temperatures over 89. At least not if you have to stand in the hot sun waiting for the window repair guy to fix the teeny-tiny surface crack on your windshield. Because no matter how strong your deodorant, this very unforgiving material will make a speck of sweat expand into a lovely sweatring under your arms. Nice.

At least I got the windshield fixed. Not that the crack was really big enough to notice, I actually had to squint to see it...but better to get it fixed now before it becomes a problem. And what's up with everything happening to the new car? I promise you, I drove our old car everywhere and nothing. Get a new car and I've got door dings and rocks flying.

Spent the weekend phone-free. My battery went dead and our charger wouldn't work. It was kinda nice. Sometimes I don't realize how connected to my phone I really am. I think I've gotten better about it - I usually put it away until the kids are in bed - but I'm still on it a lot. Probably a little too much.

Thinking about my Pawpaw today. We lost him exactly 7 years ago.  Still hard to believe, hard to accept. I miss him every single day. So thankful to have had him in my life, grateful for all that he taught me. He was a truly amazing man.  We gather every year to celebrate his life - always remembering the funny stories and his big, wonderful, contagious laugh. It helps to make the day easier.



February 2005



The Gift Of A Lesson

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. I’ve been a bit distracted and haven’t been on the computer much. Well, haven’t been on to play – I’m connected all day long at work. Which is a good thing because I have been rolling along and getting some things knocked out. Nothing makes me feel as good as being productive. I should do it more often.


Birthday party was a success. M had a really good time and enjoyed her special day. And that’s what it’s all about – love to see my kiddos happy. And she really, really deserved a special day. Excuse me while I brag on her a bit. I can’t help it, I just think she’s so cool.

Just skip this entire post if you’re not interested.

My kid isn’t perfect but she’s got a huge heart – I love her compassion and kindness. She saw a commercial for some glitter tattoos. Every single time the commercial came on she would frantically call me into the living room and tell me how much she wanted them. So that was part of our present to her and she was really excited when she got it. Then one of her friends said something like “Oh cool, I want that!” and M looked at her, in all sincerity, and says “Here, you can have it.” She was completely willing to give away her favorite present.

At home when she was going through all her new stuff M2 grabbed one of her new lip glosses. I heard her say no and thought she was going to tell M2 that those were hers and to leave them alone. Instead she said “No. This one is mine and you can have this one.” And she gave M2 her lip gloss so she could have her own. And then when I opened her new package of silly bands the first thing she did was pull two out and call M2 over and give them to her. On a day that was all about her, a day meant to indulge and spoil her, she was trying to take make other people happy. I was pretty darn proud of my girl that day.

As parents, we like to think that when our children do something good it’s because we’ve done a good job raising them. We pride ourselves on raising them the “right way” and take credit for their behavior. Of course, this only applies when it’s something good. We lose this philosophy fast when they mess up and disappoint us.

And while we try to instill in our children good values, I can tell you her unselfishness was intrinsic. It was natural and genuine. And I wondered, and hoped, that she would always have that level of love and compassion.

And then I thought about what I had done. How I reacted when she offered her favorite gift to her friend. I said “No, that’s your birthday gift honey.” Out of selfishness, I wanted her to keep it. I wanted her to enjoy it. I wanted to enjoy watching her enjoy it. So I didn’t let her give her gift away.

For all the good lessons we try to teach, the lessons that teach the most are the lessons they see. Even though we take pride thinking our children do good because of us, I really believe that they do good despite us.

What kind of message was I sending? Let’s do something good and make a difference - let’s take these toys and give them away because we want to make other kids happy. But only because they’re old and you don’t play with them anymore. But if it’s something that you love, well, you better keep that.

What I did was steal joy from my child. The kind of deep meaningful joy you get when you do something generous.  Would she have regretted her decision later?  I imagine the very next time she saw a commercial for them she might have. But maybe she wouldn't have - maybe she would have been so excited for her friend to have them that she wouldn't have cared at all.  It's hard for me to say, I've already been corrupted by life and I'm intrinsically selfish.

So once again, my loving, smart, and beautiful oldest daughter has taught me something valuable and meaningful. Taught me something that will make me both a better person and a better parent…