Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A Bitch And So Much More

I am so pissed I can hardly see straight! Yesterday when we were leaving the house we asked M where her jacket is and she said she left it at school. So later that night, when we picked her up I checked her bag. And her jacket was in it but it was wet. And smelled like urine.

When I asked her she got very upset and said that she had to go to the bathroom really, really bad and couldn’t hold it and they aren’t allowed to go in class. So she peed into her jacket. Pretty smart thinkin, for a six year old.

Did you pull down her pants, we asked. No, because you can’t pull down your pants in class or you’ll get in trouble. Yes, that’s correct, don’t pull down your pants in class. Then I said I silent prayer that I never get a call from the school that she’s pulled down her pants…

I asked her if she asked to go to the bathroom. No, she didn’t. Why not? Because they always so no, you need to hold it. So she should have asked, she totally should have.

So what did she do? She had put her jacket underneath her in her chair so no one would see and the seat wouldn’t be wet. She just peed straight through her shorts. But we didn’t get a call from the school…So did anyone notice that her pants were wet? Some of her friends asked why they were wet and she just told them it was none of their bizzwax. So NO adult in the entire school, not ONE of her THREE teachers noticed that her pants were wet? And we’re not talking a small leak here. She emptied her entire bladder; her jacket was still wet the next day!

Then as she’s telling the story she said she was crying and that one of the kids raised his hand and told the teacher she was crying and that the teacher said “Yes, I see that. I’m ignoring it.” Now, whether it happened like that or not – I KNOW M was upset. She’s six years old and she had just peed her pants! Of course she was embarrassed and stressed and didn’t know what to do… so she melted. And this is a kid who has only had two accidents since she’s been potty-trained, so it’s not like this is a regular occurrence. I am 100% sure my kid was upset. And how, how can a teacher not see that? I would expect that they would be observant enough to see when a kid is upset – in their body language and demeanor. It’s obvious when something is wrong with a child. And something was wrong!

This occurred in the morning, before lunch – how did she go the entire day without an adult realizing her pants were wet? They have a three teacher rotation, plus lunch and playground – and no one noticed wet pants? No one noticed a urine smell?

It’s concerning to me that she didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask to go the bathroom. She had no trouble asking her Kindergarten teacher…so obviously, there is something lacking in the relationship. It’s concerning that her teacher didn’t notice she was crying/upset. It’s concerning that she walked around in wet shorts and no one noticed.

I contacted the principle first thing this morning. I had considered following protocol and speaking with her teachers directly but I felt like she needed to be made aware of the situation. She did attempt to defend the teacher, telling me that she can’t believe she would say she was ignoring her…and my response was that regardless of whether she said that or not, we can’t dispute the fact that she was ignored to the point that no one noticed she had an accident.

I really, honestly don’t care if they think I am the biggest bitch on the planet – don’t care what kind of label they have for me…if it means taking care of my kid I will wear that title proudly.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

No Place Like Home

What a whirlwind trip! Great conference, as usual. Love feeling so motivated and inspired. Makes me want to rush right back to the office to do great things. But there would be no rushing back for me this time. In fact, I kinda wondered if I was gonna get back at all.

On the way to the airport I got a text. A single photo of M. What I knew would happen had happened – she had lost her first tooth! I had resigned myself to the fact that she would lose it while I was gone and that I would miss out on all of the “new lost tooth” excitement. More than anything, I just wanted it to be super special. So I made sure the tooth fairy was ready and left instructions for the hubby so that my girl could have her magical visit.

So I was super excited when I got that message because I was on my way home! I wouldn’t have to miss it all! So I starting thinking of all the little extra things I would do – more glitter, more sparkles, planning to catch the tooth fairy…I was going to make it fabulous.

I was just so happy that I was going to be a part of it.

Then we arrived at the airport. We had decided to forgo lunch in the city for a not so great and overpriced lunch at the airport because we wanted to arrive early. When we arrived we found our flight had been cancelled but an earlier flight was going out. It was perfect, we were there early enough to get on the new flight and still make it home!

Except that flight was delayed because of weather. So we never made it home. Not that night anyway. I was so disappointed! I think it was just hard because I thought I was going to make it and was just so close…My husband was not too happy that I was gone in the first place so he wasn’t very sympathetic, his reaction just compounded my feelings of being a horrible mother. So I’m standing in the airport and all I can think about is how I’ve let M down, how I should have been there, how I’ve put my job before my kids…and then I started to cry. In the airport.

Nothing better than an embarrassing display of emotion in a public forum. It’s okay, really, I’m not quite as unstable as I seem…as I watched people made a visible effort to avoid me. Come here little Suzie, stay away from the crazy lady, she must be off her meds…So yeah, crying in an airport was not exactly a highlight experience.

I did manage to pull myself together and focus on the fact that it was still exciting and special for her – with or without me. And when she called in the morning and I could tell how excited she was to tell me about her special visit it really seemed irrelevant that I wasn’t there – she was happy and felt special, and that’s all I really wanted in the first place.

And when we finally arrived, guess who was waiting to surprise me? I step towards the baggage claim when I hear an excited little voice yell “Mommy!” and it’s funny, because in a crowded airport full of people, it was unmistakable that it was meant for me - I would know that little voice anywhere. I turned and saw a flash of blonde hair and there they were – my two girls! I ran, scooped them up, and covered them with kisses. It was the best surprise ever.

And I have to say, while it was a good conference, the best part of it all was getting home.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Alive and Kickin

In case the two little people who read this might be wondering...no, I did not fall off the face of the earth.  I've been to the edge a time or two but so far, I've been able to retain my balance...

I'm in NYC for a conference. Wonderful, inspirational, powerful and motivating conference. I have more thoughts to share about that and a few other things but the rooms lack free WiFi so you won't be hearing any of that until I return.  Lucky you, you'll be spared from my rantings for another day or two.

Right now my fat behind is sitting at a table with about 10 other people and it doesn't seem appropriate to spend too  much time blogging. I mean, I'm perfectly comfortable pouring my heart out on my blog but having people see me do it...well, somehow I find that uncomfortable. Really makes sense, huh? Kinda like the fact that I hate beans but I love bean dip. Somethings we can never understand...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Hope

There is really only one thing we need to know - that there is hope.  Always and forever, through our darkest times, we are assured that there is a plan, a purpose and unlimited potential for our lives.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We may not always have understanding but we can seek comfort in understandng that God promises us a future full of hope and prosperity. 

Believe His promise.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Nail Biter

Anxiously awaiting news concerning some dear friends of mine...they are waiting to hear if their grant will be refunded.  I feel as nervous and anxious as if it were my own program.

It's such a hard thing to pour yourself into these programs with the thought that it could be taken away at every grant competition. And really, the heart and soul of each of these programs is the people that labor each day to build them. It's the people that care, that want to make a difference - that's what makes the most difference to the participants. Knowing they have people who support them, guide them, care about them...

Such a difficult thing to think of any program shutting down.  I always think about the people who are waiting. Wondering.  Hoping.

But this one, this one is especially close to my heart.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday List

It's Friday, the semester just started, and football is just around the corner! Life. Is. Good.

I really feel that all this awesomeness calls for a list but I’m all out of creativity. I got nothing. Zip, zero, nada. Sorry to disappoint, but all my energy has been spent this week on the students parading in and out of my office.

I can, however, offer you a bunch of meaningless, random, and not so interesting commentary on nothing in particular…sounds riveting, huh?

1. Throwing a belt around a shirt does not magically turn it into a dress. Try it as many times as you want, it’s still just a shirt with a belt.

2. The older I get the more compassion I have for those in need and the less tolerance I have for ignorance.

3. I textured our entire mudroom. By hand. It was a good reminder how much I hate manual labor.

4. I was in a hurry when I went to the bathroom and was a little too aggressive when I pulled down my drawers. Apparently the little bit of working out has turned me in the Incredible Hulk because my thumb went through the lace and ripped the entire side. My choices of dealing with this were limited – try to wear one-sided panties and risk them falling off at the most inopportune time or trash them. I wonder if the cleaning crew noticed when they emptied the trash.

5. I don’t know why but every time I eat at KFC, I want ice cream afterwards. And I’m not even a big ice cream person. Although I have eaten a bacon sundae before. It sounded so gross that I was morbidly intrigued and had to try it. It wasn’t as gross as it sounds.

6. Nothing has made me feel so vain and frivolous as sitting across from a young women who is missing her entire front teeth while I have five grand of metal on mine.

7. I’m not trying to be gross but how exactly does camel toe happen? Does it not feel like something’s amiss? I mean, it’s gotta hurt.

8. My lack of patience is demonstrated by the fact that I absolutely cannot lick a blow pop long enough to get to the gum. I always chew it up and mix the sucker and gum.

9. I used to say I didn’t have a “type”. Technically that’s not true, my criteria were just a little unconventional. I cannot stand “little boy” hands. Or cheap looking shoes. I don’t know why, cheap shoes just make a guy less attractive to me. So nice shoes and grown up hands.

10. I don’t understand society’s obsession with beauty or looks. It’s especially harmful for young girls who are taught that beauty is above all else. If you believe your worth is in your appearance, what happens to your self-esteem when it fades? And it will. At some point we all shrivel up and end up looking pretty much the same.



Thursday, August 23, 2012

Runnin Wild

What a week! It has been crazy busy! I don't think I hardly sat down yesterday! I did, however, almost manage to miss a meeting. I didn't forget about it - I just lost track of time.

That's what I get for running across campus without my phone. Because yes, my phone is my watch. I have an actual watch but the batter needs to be replaced. It's needed to be replaced for at least three years now, if not longer. So that watch doesn't really count…

I'm sure it was comical to anyone who saw me sprint across campus. Wait, no, that's not true. It was in no way a sprint. Maybe a sloppy jog? Whatever it was it left me out of breath. And I pretty much felt like I was running the rest of the day too. Just going all day long.
I went home, did Mommy duty and then nothing else for the rest of the night. So no workout for me. But I promised myself I wouldn’t skip tonight, so no matter what kind of day I have – the workout is in.

And so is that massive pile of laundry I’ve been ignoring…