Slugfest

I have no idea what is wrong with me but I just can't seem to get going. I lack any kind of motivation. I mean, I've always been lazy but this is at a whole new level.  The huge pile of clothes sitting on my couch agrees. My husband would agree too, because he informed me that he was almost out of underwear. And no matter how far behind I get, I usually try to make sure we all have clean drawers.

So this was kinda of an emergency deal. No underwear? What do we do? What do we do? Hubby throwing some in the washer wasn't on the list of options.  He had a very serious and debilitating reaction from his wedding band that wiped away any knowledge of how to operate the washing machine.  It's a pretty common side effect of marriage and while it's tragic, we try not to dwell on it too much.

I have been exercising again. But not consistently, like I need to be. I've had a couple of strength training days, then some cardio but with a day or two in between. I need to be doing something every single day. But something is better than nothing and I'll just have to work to get back on track.  But man, my slouthiness has really been getting in the way...

And so have my outrageous eating habits. I have no idea what is going on but I have been dumping all kinds of junk into my body. Like, I seriously need to stop now.  I'm going back to my calorie counter - not really to track calories but it does help to force me to think about it. Usually after it's already been consumed. But it's the difference between one donut and two. Or three.

Geez, if I would have know when I was picking my vices the challenges of being a stress eater,  I totally would have chosen to be a stress exerciser.  Unfortunately, I didn't read the fine print when I signed up for that deal...probably because it was covered in chip crumbs...

Nickel & Dime

We got a note from M’s school informing us we were “delinquent” on her cafeteria charges. This is the second note we’ve gotten.

But M doesn’t eat in the cafeteria. She’s a lunchbox. The first time it happened we asked her and she admitted having breakfast one day, because it “looked so good”. And how can I blame her, I do the same thing…mummm bacon. Must. Eat. Bacon.

The charges were actually more than just one breakfast, but it was a small amount and we just paid it and went on.

This time I ask M if she’s eaten again. She said she hadn’t, not since we told her not to. Any kid can fib, but she’s a good kid who generally listens to our instructions. Plus, she’s only 6 and she hasn’t mastered the art of lying yet, so it’s pretty obvious when she tries to. So I believe her.

So I call the school cafeteria. The lady totally brushed me off – it’s was an issue with the teacher, they rely on the teachers giving them the information so I’ll have to address it with her.

This was a little confusing because her teacher knows she doesn’t eat in the cafeteria. I mean, she sees her lunch box every day. Plus the first time we were charged I sent a little note with the check, telling the teacher that M brings her lunch. So I didn’t really think it was a teacher issue. But whatever. So I email the teacher and she tells me that she’s always put her down as a lunchbox and she’s never seen her eat in the cafeteria. And she even sent my note down to the cafeteria last time so they would know.

So I call the cafeteria again. And I must have annoyed her because she got very condescending and rude with me, telling me that they have no idea who my kid is and “how would we know how to charge your kid if they didn’t have something from the teacher?” Then she sighed very heavily and told me she would waive the fee this one time but if it happened again we would be responsible.

Hold on.

First, who asked you to waive the fee? That request never came from me and it was never my intention. Please….we’re talking about a few bucks.

All I’m trying to do is figure out what’s going on. There are three possibilities: M is throwing away her lunch and then buying a cafeteria one, M is eating two lunches, or I’m being charged for another kid’s lunch.

None of those are acceptable to me.

So, in a not very nice tone, I told her that I understood what she was telling me, that I understood it when she told me the first time that morning. What she didn’t understand was that the teacher says she’s not sending her name down and yet we’re getting charged and that I didn’t care whose mistake it is – I just wanted it resolved.

I guess she thought if she made me feel stupid I would just go away. But really, why does it take me getting snippy with you in order for you to offer to speak with the teacher and work it out? Obviously, there’s a problem in your system…shouldn’t you want to get that fixed?

And do you really think I care about $2.10 enough to take the time to make these calls? No, it’s the principle – something is wrong and it needs to be corrected. Keep the money, I just don’t want it happening again. Is that so hard?

I just don't get it, how come I've got to be an almost-bitch in order for you to treat me decently?  Shouldn't it have been the opposite? The nicer I am the more helpful you are...I kinda thought that was how it worked.
Guess that's just me...

Creepy Crawlies

Hello blog world!

You'll be happy to know that I did, indeed, survive my in-law weekend. It was a quick but expensive trip. We stay in a hotel and it kinda adds up. But I'm NOT complaining. Really. Bring on the hotel rates! Because an empty pocket is a lot better than the alternative...which is the possibility of bringing home some nasty little insects.

Yep, they've kinda got a little bug problem. I know they've tried to get rid of them but it hasn't worked. In fact, they've even seemed to get a bit braver.

I remember the trip where it became obvious what a problem it was...we had gone for a visit and I was sitting in bed breastfeeding. Then a roach fell from the ceiling. Onto my boob.

Do you hear me? ONTO MY BOOB! Which was ATTACHED TO MY BABY'S MOUTH!

The minute that thing hit I flicked it so fast and so hard that I think it probably splattered the instant it hit something.

Just thinking of that thing being so close to my sweet, precious, bug-free baby...

Then going to sleep that night, knowing that something was going to fall and crawl all over me...Really, I wanted to soak in a disinfectant bath. 

And I'm not trying to be a snob...I put up with a lot of grossness. A lot. I overlooked it, ignored it, pretended not to see it. 

But bugs falling on me...that's just something I can't do.

Sooo, yeah, we don't stay anymore.

We visit less and spend more money when we do. But I can sleep peacefully at night and that's totally worth it.

On The Road

Did some leadership training today for our state association. Man, I love doing that stuff. Not necessarily the training part because I have a tendency to over analyze everything I do....but the talking shop. Everytime I do it I learn something and feel like I'm a better professional. And I like meeting new people. That's probably my favorite part. Seriously, some of the best people I know are people I have met from these programs. So, yeah, it was a great day.
We're headed now to visit the in-laws. We're overdue and this is a free weekend. We do need to visit but man, I get so bored. I know that sounds horrible but it's excrutiating. Not hanging with them but just the fact that we just sit around and stare at each other. No one has anything to say. So we sit. And stare.
It. Is. Torture.
I guess we're even though because sometimes my family is too much for the hubby-we're loud and talk non-stop.
But give me a great conversation over blank stares anyday.

Be Warned & Be Wary

I am so incredibly pissy tonight that it's ridiculous.

Really, just so irritable and crabby.  I even read the girls Three Billy Goats Gruff as their bedtime story because reading the mean troll part made it socially acceptable and appropriate to snarl.

And I quickly decided that the Troll doesn't say enough in that story.
I couldn't find another story that really had anyone else cranky in it. I mean, really, do all kid stories have to be rainbows and unicorns? Can't I get just one featuring a pissy little princess?

So now my only options are to try to work out some of this aggression by exercising or go straight to bed. I know which one I want to do and I know which one I'm going to do.

But I swear, I'm gonna have to mute the tv because if I have to listen to Tony Horton tell me to not grab a cheeseburger then I will not make it through the night without smacking someone.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Two years ago today I walked onto campus ready to start a new job, a new program and a new chapter.  What a whirlwind it has been!

It has been one of the most rewarding, challenging, frustrating, motivating,demoralizing, and exciting things I've ever done.  It was, and continues to be, the biggest opportunity for growth that I've ever been given.  I've been pushed outside my comfort zone and stretched beyond my limits.  I've never before felt so confident and so insecure at the same time.

While I do think that many things in our life happen for a reason, I believe too much in personal responsibility to pawn everything off as "it's meant to be." But I can tell you with certainty that, for reasons that are still not understood by me,  I was meant to take this job and start our program.

I've said before that the only draw to this job was money. And that's true. I was happy were I was and loved my office family.  But when I saw the job posting, I felt like the job was mine. Even the day that I turned in my application, it just kinda felt familiar, like I knew I was going to be there. And I felt that way from the very beginning - I just had total confidence that it was my job.  I even bought an interview suit before I was called for an interview.

So I'm still not sure why I was meant to go in this direction - maybe it's so I could learn some things about myself that I probably really needed to learn, or maybe it's because our program will keep someone in school and change their life, or maybe it was simply because an increase in salary will allow us to build our dream home a few years sooner...

Whatever the reason, I am grateful for the opportunity, the experience, and the lessons. Here's to two years of building, growing, and learning!

Sweet Dreams

I am running on empty - completely functioning on fumes. And sugar.

Late night Friday visiting with company, late night Saturday bachelorette party, late night Sunday cleaning and unpacking and then last night I had a late work party that kept me out and by the time I got home, made an emergency WalMart run (because having NO bread is a totally legitimate emergency) and then finally unwound for the night I ended up with almost 4 hours of sleep.

All of this means one thing: I am getting old. I remember a time when I never slept and could run around all the time and still function.  These days are looong gone.

It also means this old body is getting to bed at a decent hour tonight. I've got my very first advisory board meeting tomorrow. And something tells me it wouldn't be very impressive to doze off during the middle of it...