Georgia Peach

I am starving.

I just finished cardio and I want to eat. Really, I'm so hungry that I would eat anything but what I want is a peach. That sounds so good right now.

And I've got some. In the fridge. Right over there...

But I'm not doing it. It's 11 at night and I know once I do that I'm opening the door for all kinds of other food consumption.  That's kinda how it works with me - one little thing and I automatically turn into a human vacuum until suddenly I am surrounded by the carnage of candy wrappers and crumpled bags of chips. It can get ugly sometimes.

That means I'm rolling up to bed - that's the only real way I can make sure I don't end up in the kitchen.  I do have to pass the kitchen to make it to the stairs so it might get kinda sketchy...so say a little prayer that I remain strong and I'll update in the morning. Right after I eat that peach.

Summer Lovin

Strength training on Sunday, cardio and treadmill yesterday and I have my gym bag ready for today.  I may actually get some of this jiggle off before summer! Maybe.

I'm gonna put off buying a bathing suit until a little closer to summer. I'm not avoiding the experience, I just want to see where everything is hanging so I can buy appropriately. I know lots of women hate it but I don't really get that - your body is your body, no matter what you're wearing. I don't know, maybe I just look at my body too much. But it's never shocking or disappointing to me to see myself in a bathing suit.

Not that I don't have things that I want to improve, becaues I do. It's actually a pretty long list. But it's not like I put on a bathing suit and suddenly notice all the back fat or the belly rolls. Nope, I pretty much notice that all the time. But I notice the good parts too and I really like those parts. And I think anyone who has seen it likes those parts too.  It goes along with my theory - if he's attracted enough to you to want to see you naked, he'll like what he sees, no matter what.  He won't notice the bumpy stuff because he's too busy zoning in to his favorite parts.

So we'll see where I'm at during the summer - skimpy or full coverage, either way I'm gonna rock that suit!

Conference Boost

Back in the office from our state conference. Props to my friend Brina for an AWESOME job putting on a motivational, informative, and professional conference. You rock!

Closed out my term serving as Emerging Leaders Institute Cochair. Bittersweet. I love that experience - it pushes me to be better, to learn more and helps me connect with people. But after three years, it was my time to go. I felt like it was becoming "The Amber Mitchell Show" and no one is interested in that. I will miss the people though - I say it every year but it's always true - we had a great group! They were so awesome, they rocked our Silent Auction and raised over $2,200 for our national advocacy group - not too bad for a conference of about 120 people.  And they were so sweet - they sent me off with a touching note and a gift card to my favorite restaurant. They know the way to my heart is through Mexican food...

I also got to host hospitality. That was a lot of fun. The preplanning was a little stressful. Not the ideas or the fun stuff - that I all loved. But for someone like me, it was challenging to plan for something that didn't have concrete information on -   How many people would come? How much food would I need? Did I have enough drinks? My ultimate goal was to make sure everyone there could eat, drink and be merry and somehow running out of stuff didn't fit into that picture. I ended up fine and I have a better idea of how to plan if I ever have the opportunity again.

Of course, if you would have asked me about doing it again a few hours before I would have said something different because I had a serious of small catastrophes.  I dumped an entire cooler filled with ice. In the middle of the hotel hall. And so I was trying to gracefully scoop up ice in a dress and heels and I couldn't get ahold of anyone to help. I finally found assistance and got that taken care of only to discover that my room was 100 degrees, then locked myself out of my room, left my wallet in someone else's room and no one was answering their phones. All that while trying to get myself to dinner. That was my time for a mini freak out.  So sorry to anyone that was around to hear my language during those moments - especially when I dropped the F bomb. Twice, I think. That's the cue that things are not going well with me - when I start talking like that you know it's bad. I really do try to refrain from that but I have my moments.

It really was a great conference and I'm so proud of my friends for their leadership. I'm excited to see what they do with our organization and feel fortunate that they will be able to share their vision and move our organization forward. I feel motivated, energized and ready to go!

Sweating Solo

So I've been bugging my husband for a long time to start working out with me.  I've been back at it for a month or two but I'm spotty and not consistent. I'll have a good week and then have a week when I only get one or two days in. And the last few weeks I've had more of the one or two kinda weeks. In fact, I didn't do it all last week.

Besides it being healthy, I just feel like if we do it together it will be easier to do. Like, we'll schedule it in. Right now I just kinda do it whenever I can - after dinner, after the dishes, after the kids are down, after the laundry....it's like I have all these things that have to get done and working out is at the bottom of the list.  In my mind, if we worked out together it would become a family priority and we could keep each other motivated and on track.

So I was happy when the hubby announced he was going to start working out. And equally as bummed when he informed me that he wanted to work out alone. He seriously won't work out with me. According to him, it's not anything about me personally, he just does better doing it alone. I'm not sure if I completely believe that.  But whatever the reason, he's going solo. And apparently so am I.

It's so frustrating because I really wanted a workout partner, I needed that support.  Instead I'm listening to him workout while I make dinner. Ugh. Talk about frustrating.

So I've got to figure out a new strategy. Looks like I'm returning to early mornings. That's the only way I think I can make this work - the evening thing isn't making it. And I've got to do something, because I have gained some weight.  I realized how dire the situation was when I was running into my office building last week. I opened the door and saw a guy standing there. That's when I realized I was holding my chest.

I haven't always held my boobs when I run. This is a fairly new thing for me.  I did it instinctively because one of my boobs, the bigger one (my favorite), popped out. This has been happening frequently - when I run, bend over, or just...move. It's like extreme quadroboob. And I don't care how much you like boobs, there is nothing attractive about that.

I would like to think that my boobs were just spontaneously growing. Sadly, I know that's not the case. It's directly related to weight gain. And I wouldn't complain, you wouldn't hear a peep from me, if that was the only part of my body that was expanding. I spent a few hours and a few dollars and got the girls taken care of, now I have to start working on the other parts of my body that jiggle...

Sweet Suite

This weekend the husband had a friend visiting from out of town and they planned to go to a Thunder game. My parents have season tickets so he hit them up and they gave them to him. The seats are in the nosebleed section, like seriously about the fourth row from the top but hey, it’s still a game and we were grateful, so no complaining. Then a friend of the hubby’s who also has season tickets, which are not in the nosebleed section, offered to sell his tickets. So the hubby upgraded. We already had my parents tickets so I called them to see if either of my sisters could use them or if my parents wanted them back. No one could use them so about an hour before the game I decided that M and I would go.

We all went to the game together and when the guys parted way I gave husband a quick kiss and proceeded to the escalator. I noticed a guy at the top of the escalators staring at M and I but didn’t really think anything of it. He was in a Thunder shirt with a badge around his neck, he looked official so I just thought he was there as crowd control. Or something. As we stepped off the escalator he approached us. I thought he was coming to check our tickets but instead he said “How come the guy you kissed went one way and you guys came up here?”

I was really too startled to do anything except respond, so I said “Because we’re sitting in different sections.” To which he handed me something and said “Not anymore.” I looked down and what he had given me were two tickets to a suite. Which I thought was totally awesome.

When we went back down we ran into the guys, I told them what happened and asked if they wanted to upgrade. But they wanted us to take the tickets so off to the suite we went. Now, I’ve never been in the suite section of the games but I knew right away it was different. Usually you see fans wearing Thunder shirts and tennis shoes – that’s pretty much standard game day attire. Except not in the suite area – I swear 95% of the women I saw were wearing riding boots. The other 5% were in sandals or Toms. No tennis shoes for this crowd. That’s when I realized how expensive the suites must be and I got even more excited.

I’m thinking this must be some kind of random promotional thing sponsored by the Thunder and was feeling pretty happy we were picked. We walk into the suite and there are a few people there and someone comes up and tells me there are beers and sodas in the fridge – to help myself. A little bit after the game starts the guy that gave me the tickets is there and he comes up and tells me that my husband can come over and instructs me to go ahead and invite him. Which I did.

Husband asks me who’s sponsoring the suite and suggests hitting them up for a donation for our conference silent auction. So I find the lady that told me about the sodas and asked her who was sponsoring it and she tells me that it belongs to her and her husband (the guy who gave me the tickets). I was floored. I really thought it was something Thunder was doing and while I was grateful, it was nothing like the appreciation I had when I learned it was just the generosity of two individuals. And I do mean generosity – they had a dessert cart come by and told us to order anything we wanted. M got ice cream and jelly beans and was in heaven.

I found out that they own an oil drilling company and invite employees and business associates to the games but always try to give away a few seats too. They were the nicest, most generous people. I started a conversation with a man there and found out he was their personal driver but they made sure he was able to join them to watch the game. How cool is that?

It was just a really cool experience – the game itself, but mostly witnessing people who were so willing and eager to share.

TGIFF

I've declared today Frumpy Friday in honor of my disheveled appearance. It's an interesting cross between unkept and nerdy. And when I say nerdy, I really mean nerdy. As in not being able to find anyone to sit with in the high school cafeteria nerdy. 

This is what I call my "Mom" look. *Sigh

I always thought when I had children that I would be the type of woman that still managed to pull herself together each day.  Who could have imagined exactly how hard that would be?

I blame soap operas.

I was a latch-key kid so when we got home in the late afternoons the tv was our babysitter. And what's on in the late afternoons? Soap Operas. 

I wasn't interested at first but that's what my older sister watched and everyone understands that in the hierarchy of siblings the oldest always wins.  Always. In fact, my entire childhood I think I rode shot gun a grand total of twice.  So soaps it was.

All the women were beautiful.  No one ever had a rushed morning, a bad hair day, or wrinkled pants because she forgot to take the clothes out of the dryer.  Wives could work all day and serve a five course meal for dinner,  their places were always immaculate and you never heard husbands complain about the laundry piling up.  Children played quietly, would only appear occasionally and they were always crisp and clean with cute little bows in their hair. They never fought, had accidents or threw up on the couch.

See? See how that might be misleading?

I became convinced that it would be easy to have it all. Build a career, run a household and always look amazing? Yeah, I can do that.  Or maybe I'll just settle for the frazzled Mom look...

Batter Up

M is starting t-ball. She had a softball clinic last week. She was totally pumped about it until they did the pitch rotation. She was one of the last to bat and all the girls were watching her. She only hit a few and one of her friends started to yell “Strike” every time she missed and she got embarrassed. Suddenly she decided she didn't want to play t-ball anymore.

She felt a little better after I told her that no one would be pitching to her, she would be hitting off the tee. She's still a little hesitant but we're making her do it anyway. It's important that she give it a chance. And I want her to learn that she can't just quit anytime she gets tired, doesn’t like something, or finds something hard. If life worked like that I would have quit a long time ago.

I told her that I played, that I didn’t play very well, but I still played and had fun. Well, maybe not “fun”. There’s nothing fun about being the weak link in a team sport. In fact, it actually totally sucks. Thankfully I was young enough that no one really cared. Too much.

I told her I would show her my old softball pictures. I have to have those as evidence that I did actually do something athletic once. For most people, it’s kinda hard to believe. I was digging around trying to find them last night and I found my old scrapbook.

I started a scrapbook when I was in 6th grade. It isn’t the kind of scrapbook that people do today. It actually wasn’t cool back then and I remember my Mom and I had a hard time actually even finding one. It’s a plain red book with brown paper and all my stuff is just glued in – there is nothing cute about it. But man, it was so funny to look through it and to see some of the things that I saved. Like the wrapper from a piece of gum that I got from the first guy I liked and the grocery list from the first time my mom sent me to the store. I guess these were big things back then.

I also found some old writing awards. I had completely forgotten that I had received them and it was weird to be reminded of how much I used to write. To remember how much I enjoyed it. That’s what I did for fun – wrote short stories and poetry. I wanted to be a writer, the next Sylvia Plath.

When I got older and became burdened by life’s injustices, I wanted to do something to make a difference, to change the world. I thought politics was a way to make that happen so I decided I wanted to be a speech writer, the person behind the words. After working for a US congressman and interning in DC, I decided politics wasn’t really my forte – it was vicious and cut throat and I didn’t have the heart for it.

I never really thought of being a writer after that. I filled up my life with so many other things that writing lost its priority and was forgotten. That’s how I know it wasn’t my calling. That and the fact that most of what I wrote wasn’t very good. But I have just enough writer in me to put together a birthday poem for the girls each year. It’s not great poetry but it’s something special just for them and that pretty much makes it the best writing I’ll ever do.