I'm kinda bummed.
I think I'm gonna have to find a new convenient store.
I'm picky about my tea. Even more so now that I drink unsweet - there isn't any sugar to make it taste better, it has to be good tea. So there is one place that has tea that I like. One. And I go just about every morning.
One of the guys there has started giving me a small discount - charging me for a refill and not a new drink. He doesn't do it every time but he does it a lot, even when I tell him not too. I'm like, stop doing that! One, it just makes me feel bad. Not that it's even that much difference - I think maybe ten cents. But it's the point - it's kinda like stealing. Not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but charge me the same price as you are everybody else in line.
Secondly, I don't want him to get in trouble for doing it. Every time I say "No, this is a new drink." - I say it loud where anyone can hear me. I don't do that to get him in trouble but it's not like we're in cahoots together. I'm not trying to be part of this. But still, I would hate for him to get in trouble. I don't know, maybe he's the manager or something because he seems to be pretty fearless about it. Or maybe he just knows they won't fire him over such a small thing...either way, I think I'm more worried about it than he is.
But most of all I just don't like that he's so nice to me. I know that doesn't make any sense. I'm sure they consider me a regular so he feels like he should be extra friendly - I know that's part of how they get people coming back in. But I just want to go in, get my tea and leave without being noticed. I don't know, he's too interested in what I've got going on and he remembers things I say. Which typically would be a good thing - remembering what people tells you shows that you're genuinely interested and that what you say is important to them. Typically that would be major bonus points. But in this case, I don't like it.
I'm not sure I'm vain enough to think he likes me. Don't get me wrong, I am vain. Typically this behavior would warrant a phone call to the bestie declaring "Oh my gosh - he was SO hitting on me." which she gets quite frequently because I always assume interest equals interest. All these poor guys out there just being friendly have no idea how I'm spinning that into something different in my head.
But I'm not getting that vibe. This vibe is just super nice convenient store guy who is ruining my morning mojo with his friendliness...
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Make It Count
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. ~Gandhi
That quote really represents what I was trying to express in my last post. Only so much more eloquently. And I believe that, with all my heart I believe that.
It doesn't, however, make the events of last week any easier. The Boston bombing, the West explosion, the anniversary of the OKC bombing. So much loss.
And last week I was informed of the deaths of two of my students. Two in one week. I've worked in these programs for 10 years and I've never lost a student so it was shocking. The events surrounding the deaths are especially troubling - one was violently murdered and there is a mystery surrounding the nature of death for the other. This is especially troubling because this student had a long history of domestic abuse so I fear her end was just as horrific. It's always, always difficult but to end in such a violent way...it's really hard for me to get over.
I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older but it seems like each day I grow more and more aware of how short our time really is. The last few months it seems there have been a series of losses- back to back we've all gone through it. My FIL, the next month a friend lost his mother and then this past weekend my hubby was out of town to attend the funeral of a friend who lost his sister.
It was a rough week.
So I used the weekend to fill my life with fun and memories and goodness. I needed a break from all things somber and sad. Girl time, parades & carnivals, and a lot of time laughing. Not to forget the sadness but to remember the lessons it brings - make every day count.
That quote really represents what I was trying to express in my last post. Only so much more eloquently. And I believe that, with all my heart I believe that.
It doesn't, however, make the events of last week any easier. The Boston bombing, the West explosion, the anniversary of the OKC bombing. So much loss.
And last week I was informed of the deaths of two of my students. Two in one week. I've worked in these programs for 10 years and I've never lost a student so it was shocking. The events surrounding the deaths are especially troubling - one was violently murdered and there is a mystery surrounding the nature of death for the other. This is especially troubling because this student had a long history of domestic abuse so I fear her end was just as horrific. It's always, always difficult but to end in such a violent way...it's really hard for me to get over.
I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older but it seems like each day I grow more and more aware of how short our time really is. The last few months it seems there have been a series of losses- back to back we've all gone through it. My FIL, the next month a friend lost his mother and then this past weekend my hubby was out of town to attend the funeral of a friend who lost his sister.
It was a rough week.
So I used the weekend to fill my life with fun and memories and goodness. I needed a break from all things somber and sad. Girl time, parades & carnivals, and a lot of time laughing. Not to forget the sadness but to remember the lessons it brings - make every day count.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Live Big
There is so much going around about the Boston explosions. In the gym today, that’s all that was on tv. Such a sad and shocking event. From the clips they keep showing, it’s amazing there were not more deaths. A small comfort in the midst of tragedy.
The number of individuals with lost limbs is made especially devastating when I think about the runners. The level of athleticism needed to run a marathon - how devoted you have to be to caring and maintaining your body to prepare for something like that. Understanding what it means to a runner to put on their shoes and go. I think for people that are serious about it, running is almost spiritual. I mean, I’ve never been serious about it and it’s been that way for me. So to think about a runner, doing what they love – adrenaline pumping, in the euphoric runners high, pushing their bodies to run faster and harder nearing the finish line. And in an instant their body, their tool, is forever changed.
I realize a large number of bystanders were injured too – and I’m not belittling their loss in any way. It’s dramatic for anyone. I sit on my butt all day and do nothing and I would be devastated. But for a runner, it just seems especially cruel.
My husband doesn’t believe they should put it on television, he feels like it glorifies the act. Maybe it does. But I’m glad it’s on television, I’m glad people are so fascinated and horrified by it that they can’t keep from watching the coverage. It reminds me how thankful we should be – thankful that we live in a country where it is shocking. There are lots of places in this world where it wouldn’t be. There are lots of people in this world who face that kind of reality every day.
Lots of people believe it demonstrates how horrible our world is, it’s rocked their belief in mankind. I think it’s exactly the opposite – I think it demonstrates how fortunate we are and reinforces my belief in mankind. Not only by all the individuals who stepped up to help each other but on a much larger scale. Think about how vulnerable we are – how truly vulnerable we are most the time. When was the last time you seriously had to worry about your life when out grocery shopping, enjoying a baseball game or celebrating New Year’s Eve? We typically don’t – we just move through life without really, really worrying about it. We feel safe.
In reality, we’re not. Not really. We’re actually pretty vulnerable. There simply isn’t enough security or preventive measures to protect us at all times. To understand that and realize how fortunate it is that these things are not common, that they don’t occur every day. I find comfort in that.
These bombing were a horrible, malicious, tragic act and I’m sorry that it happened. I can’t fathom that lose or experiencing that tragedy. I’m not making light of what happened. My heart is with everyone impacted – for recovery and peace in rebuilding their lives.
I am simply reminded that life is short and there are no guarantees. Live big and make it count.
The number of individuals with lost limbs is made especially devastating when I think about the runners. The level of athleticism needed to run a marathon - how devoted you have to be to caring and maintaining your body to prepare for something like that. Understanding what it means to a runner to put on their shoes and go. I think for people that are serious about it, running is almost spiritual. I mean, I’ve never been serious about it and it’s been that way for me. So to think about a runner, doing what they love – adrenaline pumping, in the euphoric runners high, pushing their bodies to run faster and harder nearing the finish line. And in an instant their body, their tool, is forever changed.
I realize a large number of bystanders were injured too – and I’m not belittling their loss in any way. It’s dramatic for anyone. I sit on my butt all day and do nothing and I would be devastated. But for a runner, it just seems especially cruel.
My husband doesn’t believe they should put it on television, he feels like it glorifies the act. Maybe it does. But I’m glad it’s on television, I’m glad people are so fascinated and horrified by it that they can’t keep from watching the coverage. It reminds me how thankful we should be – thankful that we live in a country where it is shocking. There are lots of places in this world where it wouldn’t be. There are lots of people in this world who face that kind of reality every day.
Lots of people believe it demonstrates how horrible our world is, it’s rocked their belief in mankind. I think it’s exactly the opposite – I think it demonstrates how fortunate we are and reinforces my belief in mankind. Not only by all the individuals who stepped up to help each other but on a much larger scale. Think about how vulnerable we are – how truly vulnerable we are most the time. When was the last time you seriously had to worry about your life when out grocery shopping, enjoying a baseball game or celebrating New Year’s Eve? We typically don’t – we just move through life without really, really worrying about it. We feel safe.
In reality, we’re not. Not really. We’re actually pretty vulnerable. There simply isn’t enough security or preventive measures to protect us at all times. To understand that and realize how fortunate it is that these things are not common, that they don’t occur every day. I find comfort in that.
These bombing were a horrible, malicious, tragic act and I’m sorry that it happened. I can’t fathom that lose or experiencing that tragedy. I’m not making light of what happened. My heart is with everyone impacted – for recovery and peace in rebuilding their lives.
I am simply reminded that life is short and there are no guarantees. Live big and make it count.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Georgia Peach
I am starving.
I just finished cardio and I want to eat. Really, I'm so hungry that I would eat anything but what I want is a peach. That sounds so good right now.
And I've got some. In the fridge. Right over there...
But I'm not doing it. It's 11 at night and I know once I do that I'm opening the door for all kinds of other food consumption. That's kinda how it works with me - one little thing and I automatically turn into a human vacuum until suddenly I am surrounded by the carnage of candy wrappers and crumpled bags of chips. It can get ugly sometimes.
That means I'm rolling up to bed - that's the only real way I can make sure I don't end up in the kitchen. I do have to pass the kitchen to make it to the stairs so it might get kinda sketchy...so say a little prayer that I remain strong and I'll update in the morning. Right after I eat that peach.
I just finished cardio and I want to eat. Really, I'm so hungry that I would eat anything but what I want is a peach. That sounds so good right now.
And I've got some. In the fridge. Right over there...
But I'm not doing it. It's 11 at night and I know once I do that I'm opening the door for all kinds of other food consumption. That's kinda how it works with me - one little thing and I automatically turn into a human vacuum until suddenly I am surrounded by the carnage of candy wrappers and crumpled bags of chips. It can get ugly sometimes.
That means I'm rolling up to bed - that's the only real way I can make sure I don't end up in the kitchen. I do have to pass the kitchen to make it to the stairs so it might get kinda sketchy...so say a little prayer that I remain strong and I'll update in the morning. Right after I eat that peach.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Summer Lovin
Strength training on Sunday, cardio and treadmill yesterday and I have my gym bag ready for today. I may actually get some of this jiggle off before summer! Maybe.
I'm gonna put off buying a bathing suit until a little closer to summer. I'm not avoiding the experience, I just want to see where everything is hanging so I can buy appropriately. I know lots of women hate it but I don't really get that - your body is your body, no matter what you're wearing. I don't know, maybe I just look at my body too much. But it's never shocking or disappointing to me to see myself in a bathing suit.
Not that I don't have things that I want to improve, becaues I do. It's actually a pretty long list. But it's not like I put on a bathing suit and suddenly notice all the back fat or the belly rolls. Nope, I pretty much notice that all the time. But I notice the good parts too and I really like those parts. And I think anyone who has seen it likes those parts too. It goes along with my theory - if he's attracted enough to you to want to see you naked, he'll like what he sees, no matter what. He won't notice the bumpy stuff because he's too busy zoning in to his favorite parts.
So we'll see where I'm at during the summer - skimpy or full coverage, either way I'm gonna rock that suit!
I'm gonna put off buying a bathing suit until a little closer to summer. I'm not avoiding the experience, I just want to see where everything is hanging so I can buy appropriately. I know lots of women hate it but I don't really get that - your body is your body, no matter what you're wearing. I don't know, maybe I just look at my body too much. But it's never shocking or disappointing to me to see myself in a bathing suit.
Not that I don't have things that I want to improve, becaues I do. It's actually a pretty long list. But it's not like I put on a bathing suit and suddenly notice all the back fat or the belly rolls. Nope, I pretty much notice that all the time. But I notice the good parts too and I really like those parts. And I think anyone who has seen it likes those parts too. It goes along with my theory - if he's attracted enough to you to want to see you naked, he'll like what he sees, no matter what. He won't notice the bumpy stuff because he's too busy zoning in to his favorite parts.
So we'll see where I'm at during the summer - skimpy or full coverage, either way I'm gonna rock that suit!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Conference Boost
Back in the office from our state conference. Props to my friend Brina for an AWESOME job putting on a motivational, informative, and professional conference. You rock!
Closed out my term serving as Emerging Leaders Institute Cochair. Bittersweet. I love that experience - it pushes me to be better, to learn more and helps me connect with people. But after three years, it was my time to go. I felt like it was becoming "The Amber Mitchell Show" and no one is interested in that. I will miss the people though - I say it every year but it's always true - we had a great group! They were so awesome, they rocked our Silent Auction and raised over $2,200 for our national advocacy group - not too bad for a conference of about 120 people. And they were so sweet - they sent me off with a touching note and a gift card to my favorite restaurant. They know the way to my heart is through Mexican food...
I also got to host hospitality. That was a lot of fun. The preplanning was a little stressful. Not the ideas or the fun stuff - that I all loved. But for someone like me, it was challenging to plan for something that didn't have concrete information on - How many people would come? How much food would I need? Did I have enough drinks? My ultimate goal was to make sure everyone there could eat, drink and be merry and somehow running out of stuff didn't fit into that picture. I ended up fine and I have a better idea of how to plan if I ever have the opportunity again.
Of course, if you would have asked me about doing it again a few hours before I would have said something different because I had a serious of small catastrophes. I dumped an entire cooler filled with ice. In the middle of the hotel hall. And so I was trying to gracefully scoop up ice in a dress and heels and I couldn't get ahold of anyone to help. I finally found assistance and got that taken care of only to discover that my room was 100 degrees, then locked myself out of my room, left my wallet in someone else's room and no one was answering their phones. All that while trying to get myself to dinner. That was my time for a mini freak out. So sorry to anyone that was around to hear my language during those moments - especially when I dropped the F bomb. Twice, I think. That's the cue that things are not going well with me - when I start talking like that you know it's bad. I really do try to refrain from that but I have my moments.
It really was a great conference and I'm so proud of my friends for their leadership. I'm excited to see what they do with our organization and feel fortunate that they will be able to share their vision and move our organization forward. I feel motivated, energized and ready to go!
Closed out my term serving as Emerging Leaders Institute Cochair. Bittersweet. I love that experience - it pushes me to be better, to learn more and helps me connect with people. But after three years, it was my time to go. I felt like it was becoming "The Amber Mitchell Show" and no one is interested in that. I will miss the people though - I say it every year but it's always true - we had a great group! They were so awesome, they rocked our Silent Auction and raised over $2,200 for our national advocacy group - not too bad for a conference of about 120 people. And they were so sweet - they sent me off with a touching note and a gift card to my favorite restaurant. They know the way to my heart is through Mexican food...
I also got to host hospitality. That was a lot of fun. The preplanning was a little stressful. Not the ideas or the fun stuff - that I all loved. But for someone like me, it was challenging to plan for something that didn't have concrete information on - How many people would come? How much food would I need? Did I have enough drinks? My ultimate goal was to make sure everyone there could eat, drink and be merry and somehow running out of stuff didn't fit into that picture. I ended up fine and I have a better idea of how to plan if I ever have the opportunity again.
Of course, if you would have asked me about doing it again a few hours before I would have said something different because I had a serious of small catastrophes. I dumped an entire cooler filled with ice. In the middle of the hotel hall. And so I was trying to gracefully scoop up ice in a dress and heels and I couldn't get ahold of anyone to help. I finally found assistance and got that taken care of only to discover that my room was 100 degrees, then locked myself out of my room, left my wallet in someone else's room and no one was answering their phones. All that while trying to get myself to dinner. That was my time for a mini freak out. So sorry to anyone that was around to hear my language during those moments - especially when I dropped the F bomb. Twice, I think. That's the cue that things are not going well with me - when I start talking like that you know it's bad. I really do try to refrain from that but I have my moments.
It really was a great conference and I'm so proud of my friends for their leadership. I'm excited to see what they do with our organization and feel fortunate that they will be able to share their vision and move our organization forward. I feel motivated, energized and ready to go!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Sweating Solo
So I've been bugging my husband for a long time to start working out with me. I've been back at it for a month or two but I'm spotty and not consistent. I'll have a good week and then have a week when I only get one or two days in. And the last few weeks I've had more of the one or two kinda weeks. In fact, I didn't do it all last week.
Besides it being healthy, I just feel like if we do it together it will be easier to do. Like, we'll schedule it in. Right now I just kinda do it whenever I can - after dinner, after the dishes, after the kids are down, after the laundry....it's like I have all these things that have to get done and working out is at the bottom of the list. In my mind, if we worked out together it would become a family priority and we could keep each other motivated and on track.
So I was happy when the hubby announced he was going to start working out. And equally as bummed when he informed me that he wanted to work out alone. He seriously won't work out with me. According to him, it's not anything about me personally, he just does better doing it alone. I'm not sure if I completely believe that. But whatever the reason, he's going solo. And apparently so am I.
It's so frustrating because I really wanted a workout partner, I needed that support. Instead I'm listening to him workout while I make dinner. Ugh. Talk about frustrating.
So I've got to figure out a new strategy. Looks like I'm returning to early mornings. That's the only way I think I can make this work - the evening thing isn't making it. And I've got to do something, because I have gained some weight. I realized how dire the situation was when I was running into my office building last week. I opened the door and saw a guy standing there. That's when I realized I was holding my chest.
I haven't always held my boobs when I run. This is a fairly new thing for me. I did it instinctively because one of my boobs, the bigger one (my favorite), popped out. This has been happening frequently - when I run, bend over, or just...move. It's like extreme quadroboob. And I don't care how much you like boobs, there is nothing attractive about that.
I would like to think that my boobs were just spontaneously growing. Sadly, I know that's not the case. It's directly related to weight gain. And I wouldn't complain, you wouldn't hear a peep from me, if that was the only part of my body that was expanding. I spent a few hours and a few dollars and got the girls taken care of, now I have to start working on the other parts of my body that jiggle...
Besides it being healthy, I just feel like if we do it together it will be easier to do. Like, we'll schedule it in. Right now I just kinda do it whenever I can - after dinner, after the dishes, after the kids are down, after the laundry....it's like I have all these things that have to get done and working out is at the bottom of the list. In my mind, if we worked out together it would become a family priority and we could keep each other motivated and on track.
So I was happy when the hubby announced he was going to start working out. And equally as bummed when he informed me that he wanted to work out alone. He seriously won't work out with me. According to him, it's not anything about me personally, he just does better doing it alone. I'm not sure if I completely believe that. But whatever the reason, he's going solo. And apparently so am I.
It's so frustrating because I really wanted a workout partner, I needed that support. Instead I'm listening to him workout while I make dinner. Ugh. Talk about frustrating.
So I've got to figure out a new strategy. Looks like I'm returning to early mornings. That's the only way I think I can make this work - the evening thing isn't making it. And I've got to do something, because I have gained some weight. I realized how dire the situation was when I was running into my office building last week. I opened the door and saw a guy standing there. That's when I realized I was holding my chest.
I haven't always held my boobs when I run. This is a fairly new thing for me. I did it instinctively because one of my boobs, the bigger one (my favorite), popped out. This has been happening frequently - when I run, bend over, or just...move. It's like extreme quadroboob. And I don't care how much you like boobs, there is nothing attractive about that.
I would like to think that my boobs were just spontaneously growing. Sadly, I know that's not the case. It's directly related to weight gain. And I wouldn't complain, you wouldn't hear a peep from me, if that was the only part of my body that was expanding. I spent a few hours and a few dollars and got the girls taken care of, now I have to start working on the other parts of my body that jiggle...
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