Sausage Queen

It's almost time - in a few days I'll be heading out to New Mexico for a conference!

Shockingly, I'm actually almost all ready.  Of course, instead of feeling proud that I'm ahead of schedule, I am plagued by the feeling that I have forgotten something. I keep checking my list and I think I've got everything done but still...

In addition to being ready, I'm also really big. As in physically.  This is the most I've weighed, ever. Even when I was pregnant with both girls.  I only gained 11 pounds with M and 10 with M2. But that's not anything to brag about because it just means I already had all the fat my body needed. Women who are already overweight will either gain very little or even lose weight during pregnancy so the fact that I was already fat when I got knocked up isn't really worth celebrating.

But just that I am heavier than my pregnancy weight - ugh.

So I'm headed to this conference and I'm going to look like a stuffed sausage because I'm squeezing my fat ass into clothes that do not fit anymore. I did attempt to find size appropriate clothes and had no luck. I shopped, and shopped and shopped and could not find anything. So stuffed sausage it is!

Besides feeling big, I've also been feeling really adventurous lately - I just want to do something exciting. So I texted a few girlfriends and asked them if they would go skydiving with me in New Mexico. I thought it would be a fun experience for us to share.

I've been skydiving before - years and years ago.  It was an amazing experience. I went with a guy friend and to this day when we talk, that experience still comes up. It was kinda funny because my boyfriend and I had recently broken up so when he found out I was going, he called and scheduled a skydive two days before mine. So weird. I don't know what that was supposed to mean but I guess he really got me, he went skydiving first!

But neither of my friends were willing to jump out of a plane.  I don't know, something about having too much to live for or something...what weenies!  So then the discussion turned to a hot air balloon ride. How exciting, right? I really thought that was going to work out but it was a little pricey so looks like that's not going to happen.  I completely understand but I am a little bummed. Like when will I have another chance to balloon over the city of Albuquerque?

So I'm banking on at least a few fun nights out as compensation. I will have to dance at least once to not feel cheated. That may not be fun for anyone else - have you ever seen a stuffed sausage dance?
But I'm going to have a blast!

Yes, Deer!

So the hubby went hunting this weekend and shot a deer!

He went hunting Saturday and got one but couldn't track it. Which turned out to be a kinda good thing because M was upset when she found out he went hunting without her and then when she heard he got one, she was really bummed.  Of course, he felt horrible about killing it and not getting to it.

So they went together yesterday and got another one!  He sent me a text from the field when they tracked it asking if I wanted to help clean it.  That would be a negative ghost rider. Not going to happen.

Which of course, he knew. It was a total joke because I mean, hello - it's me.

M was so excited. When they got home she was telling us about tracking it and finding it and was describing the grossness. She even watched him gut it. Ewww! She definitely does not get that from me - I wanted to puke just hearing about it.

My hubby gives me a hard time because I think gutting animals, chopping heads off chickens and all that other stuff is disgusting. I don't want to hear about it and will never do it. Ever. It makes me gag just pulling all that stuff from the middle of a whole chicken I buy from the store. And I sure don't touch it with my hands. Blah!

He always tells me "You need to know how to do this stuff. What would you do if you had to live off the land?  You would never survive."

He's right. I wouldn't. If the world ever comes to that, you will find me in the middle of the mall eating the world's last piece of chocolate, crying my eyes out.

So now I have to learn how to cook this stuff. That's my contribution to this whole deal. You hunt it, clean it and bring it home. I will cook it and make it look pretty on a plate. That's even, right?

*And bonus points for me for using some of the right hunting terminology. "field", "tracking" - I might be getting this down after all.   It drives my husband crazy when I say "Did you catch anything?" He was like "Kill. You don't "catch" a deer, you kill it." Oh. Taking notes now...

Halloween was a bit of bust this year. I had an itinerary of things to do and the second thing on our list was a trunk or treat but when we got there the lot was empty. No one was there. I checked and we were in the right place so I don't know what happened. Cars kept pulling in and driving around so I wasn't the only one that got bad information.

Then we tried to go door-to-door but hardly anyone was participating. And let me tell you, if you aren't giving out candy - turn off your damn light!

I can't tell you how many houses we went to that no one answered. So frustrating!  Especially since we couldn't find very many houses - it was like false hope. We were walking away from the first house that did that and M2 said "They're doing it wrong!"  Yes, baby, they are!

At the end of the night though there was candy (not a lot but enough) so it was all good...

I'm So Excited, I Just Can't Hide It

Oh. My. Gosh.

I am SO excited!

I just got an email from a legislative assistant informing me that a Representative read my oped that was published a few weeks ago and expressing support. Besides the fact that it's just cool that they thought what I wrote was worth commenting on, do you know what this means?  It's an opportunity to develop a relationship and win a TRIO supporter!

Yes, he's just a state Representative but it's just as important to get state support as it is to get support from our US delegation. It's always blown my mind that people don't understand that. I get it, we're funded by the guys in DC, they have all the power.

But what people are missing is the fact that those guys in DC started somewhere and it's usually at the state level! If you can get their buy-in when you don't have a lot of competition, when you can make it something they really care about then they are  more likely to support it when they get to DC. You make it their passion, not just yours.

And even if they never leave the state - the more "powerful" supporters we get, the better. There are all kinds of opportunities for advocacy/freebies/favors when you have a connected supporter.

I'm really not trying to gloat - I am just super, super excited about this!

My day is made!

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

Ever have so much to do that you don't even know where to begin?  That's me today.  I'm just not able to focus or get anything done.  I'm just spinning my wheels, completely unproductive. I would like to get some things but I just...can't.

So here's some random, unrelated, unimportant commentary to keep me distracted:

There's a guy in our building, about my age that I only run into when I'm wearing the same two dresses. I swear, I hardly ever see this guy but when I do I'm in the same dang thing! Not that he even notices, but how does that keep happening? I have a lot of clothes. A lot. 

***And that's as far as I got.*** 

See, I told you I was having a tough time concentrating!  Just so you know, that was from Monday - the rest of the week was much more productive.

Looking forward to the weekend. We've got adult plans tonight and then of course HALLOWEEN!

I LOVE Halloween! It's just such a fun holiday. I mean, dressing up and candy?  Who doesn't love that? I work extra hard to make sure my girls develop that same love. Again - dressing up and candy - it isn't too hard. And of course they take after their momma - anything with candy and they're in.

I took them to a little Halloween party last night - kept them up way too late but it was worth it. Plus, we're sticking them with my Mom tonight so I don't have to deal with their lack-of-sleep grumpiness.

And then of course I have got to catch up on laundry! M came to me this morning and said "Mom. Our dirty clothes basket is up to here." as she put her hand almost up to her eye.  And the sad thing is, she's probably not even exaggerating.

I do have a semi-reasonable defense though - besides my natural laziness and inherent disdain for housework.  I'm only allowed to do one load of laundry a day! Seriously.  It's in our lease. Something about the water lines and the threat of being responsible if they burst...or something. All I really paid attention to was the "one load per day" part. Because I like to stockpile my laundry. Okay, it's not that I really "like" to...it's actually just a result of me trying to avoid it.

So what I usually do, what I've always done, is just do a whole bunch of laundry in one purge - load after load after load after load after Dear Lord, please make it stop! 

And like pulling a band-aid, it hurts for a second and then it's over. Finally.

So this whole one load a day crap. It's not going over so well.

Honestly, I just forget to do it more than anything. I'm just still not used to having to get a load in every night to get it all done. Laundry is totally not on my radar. The hubby has been working almost every night after work until 8 or 9 so I've been single parenting it for a while.  By the time we get home, get dinner, get through homework, get the dishes done (and have I bitched about not having a dishwasher yet?  If not, remind me and I'll get to it in a minute), and get the house picked up - the only thing I want to do is nothing.

See what a whinebag I am?  This is like any normal night for anyone and I'm over here like "But I'm too tired to do laundry! Waaaahhhhaaa"

But seriously, this fourth grade homework stuff is no joke. I'm embarrassed to admit that there have been multiple occasions that I could not help with math homework. Multiple. Isn't that horrible?  I mean, I have multiple college degrees and I can't work fourth grade math? Wow. I don't even know how that's possible.  Well, yeah I do...I suck at math.

So yeah, my weekend will be filled with costumes, candy and lots of tears as I wade through the mountain of laundry....

Midnight Madness

Had a great meeting today!

It's so exciting when things come together. This organization focuses on moving people from housing vouchers to self sufficiency- either through employment or education. Which is where I come in- send them to me and let me help them graduate! Of course, the program could also be beneficial for some of our students getting housing assistance because they offer a cash incentive to move them in that direction (self sufficiency). So it's definitely a win-win.

I drove back to the office blasting music and singing (screeching) at the top of my lungs, I was so pumped about the prospect of this partnership. In addition to working with them, they also shared some other state programs that would be beneficial to get connected to, so good things are bound to come out of this.

Of course I was also thinking about what I said and how socially awkward I am...I'm just so dorky! But I didn't let that drown my excitement.

Know what's not exciting? Writing a grant that I'm not qualified to write...really struggling here. It doesn't help that I don't have any work space at home. Hard to concentrate when Barbershop is on and I'm planted right in front of the tv. I really have to wait until everyone is asleep before I can get a good workflow so I'm burning the midnight oil getting it done. Or trying to get it done, anyway.

And then, of course, I jump on the internet and play as a distraction. Anything to avoid doing the thing I need to do the very most!

Monday, Monday

Today kicked my butt!

After a four day weekend, it was a tough Monday.  Spent the long weekend up at Lake Tenkiller for some much needed fun. Did a tiny bit of fishing, a whole lot of eating and even more laughing.

Happy girl. I think I need to laugh more often...

Attempted to make my first ever jello shots. Mainly because I wanted to use my brand new OU jello mold. I didn't have any vodka so I improvised with coconut rum...no clue if it would work but it was the best I could do. After hours of waiting the moment of truth arrived - they were ready.  But I couldn't get the dang things out!  No matter what I did, those little suckers were stuck.  After a full jello rescue team, we managed to get two out intact, the rest were just a clump of jello blobness. Didn't stop us from eating them though, those things are good!

Can you even tell those are shaped like OU?

We got home yesterday with enough time for me to unpack bags, do laundry and get the house in order for the start of the week. I have a couple of big projects going. Actually, one super big project that I need to have finished by Thursday. And it's not looking promising because I made very little progress today. I was productive but had too many fires and interruptions to make any real progress.

I had something super exciting happen though. Well, exciting to me. I got a phone call from a man who read my op-ed in the paper. *Last weekend on our way to Tulsa I got a sweet text from a friend with the following picture, letting me know he had read my op-ed. I have the best friends! 

This guy runs a program through the Housing Authority and he said he had never heard of TRIO until reading my article but he felt like we might be able to collaborate. He wanted me to come out to speak with his staff and educate them on TRIO and learn more about their program too.  It's a little thing but I am super pumped - that's what advocacy is all about! 

So I'm meeting with him tomorrow. Of course, it's one more thing I'm trying to cram in but it's totally worth it!  Going to try to knock a few things out tonight. Kids are in bed, hubby is working - let's see how much work Momma can get done!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Bad:

It was a rough weekend for the Sooners.

We played an unbelievably horrible game and lost to…TEXAS!  Really? Of all games, this is the game you choke on? No, no, no!  This was not the game!

I can’t even begin to express how mad I was. Largely because it took me by surprise. I was completely unprepared. My husband tried to warn me but I wouldn’t listen. I just knew there was no way Texas was going to win. They’ve been sucking all season…I mean, I know its Red River. I know anything can happen but honestly, I just didn’t think Texas had it in them. And poor Charlie Strong seemed so defeated…it was OU’s game, for sure.

Headed to watch what I THOUGHT would be blow out...

Five minutes into the game and I knew we were in trouble. I tried to stay optimistic, told myself they just needed to warm up. But they weren’t ever able to get it together. We fell apart and handed the game away.  It was infuriating.  

We were at a football party so I tried to behave and act like a decent lady. I must report that I failed miserably on that count. I don’t cuss too often but man, I was letting them fly. At fist my husband was like “Whoa, with the language” and “Hey, hey, hey” but by the end of the second quarter he knew better than to say anything.  Of course, his friends thought it was hilarious that I was cussing because they’ve never heard me talk like that – even though we’ve watched plenty of games with these guys, I’ve always behaved. 

In full disclosure, some of that may have been alcohol driven. Because I knew I was going to need something to make it through that game. And it did help me through. So much so that I don’t really remember the last half of the game. Except the losing part. Because that hurt my heart.

I’ve discovered a really weird phenomenon too. I can’t handle beer. At all. It’s the weirdest thing because Long Island Iced Tea is my favorite drink. If someone is hosting and can’t make it, I’ll have a Screwdriver (my second favorite) but if I’m out drinking, I’m ordering a Tea. There are five different types of alcohol in that drink and I handle it just fine – I’ll have two and feel comfortably tipsy.

But give me a couple of beers and I am jacked up.

As soon as it was over, I found my husband and desperately whispered “We need to go. Now.”  It’s one thing to let someone hear me cuss but something entirely different to let them see me sloppy. I was not about to let that happen. I don’t care how good the party, if I feel like I’m getting sloppy, I am out.

So like a good hubby, he whisked me away to our hotel room and put me to bed.

It was as comfy as it looks - I slept like a baby

I woke up heartbroken and hungry. But the weekend wasn’t a total loss because when I texted the husband that I was awake, he told me everyone was gathering for dinner. I had a delicious grilled salmon and then went off to play some slot machines.

No luck with Cleopatra

I actually spent most of that time just walking around and people watching. It’s fascinating to me to watch people in a casino. I mean, I enjoy people watching in general, but casinos are something special. I noticed that there was no one and I mean no one was wearing any type of OU apparel. Nothing. No shirts, no hats – nothing. Except for me, of course.  Fair weather fans!  One of the guys (an OSU fan) was giving me hell during dinner because of it but I didn’t care – a fan is a fan until the end. No matter how badly they sucked.

The Good:

After a while I found most of the group gathered around a card table.  I don’t play cards.  I’ve never played and I don’t know how. So when we go to a casino, I just ignore that whole entire section. 

But most of our friends play those tables so there they were – huddled around either playing or watching. When you don’t know how the game works, it isn’t fun to watch. Plus, I was out of money.  So I was ready to head to the room when one of the guys grabbed me and drug me to a Blackjack table, despite my objections. Even after I adamantly told him I had no clue what to do, he laid out $100 for me to play on. It was very generous and very nice. But also a little awkward too. He’s more of an acquaintance than friend and I just felt bad wasting his money. Granted, the guy is loaded and he couldn’t care less – when I told him I couldn’t take his money, I’m pretty sure he intentionally flashed his huge wad of money in front of me – but it was just the principle of taking his money that didn’t feel right.  

But he was insistent, so I played. As we were placing our bets, he looked at me and said “You feel lucky?” and I laughed and said “I’m always lucky!” And guess what?  I was!

I kept getting these great hands and winning. Of course, I was betting small but I was on a streak. In about 30 minutes made enough to give him his $100 back and walked away with enough to pay for our hotel room. Win! 

It was super fun but I still didn’t feel right taking his money.

As we were going to our room, my hubby asked if he hit on me. Which made me laugh and melt at the same time. This guy is married to a Barbie doll, so the fact that my husband would think there’s a chance this guy would be interested in me…it was super sweet. He wasn’t hitting on me at all, but I’m glad my husband is still under my spell enough to think it’s a possibility.

The Ugly:

Morning view - Hardrock golf course & sunshine

After a lazy morning and a late breakfast, we were heading home when I put my hand in my lap and felt…something.  I looked down only to realize that my jeans had a hole in them. But not really a hole…it was a spot that had been worn thin. Coincidentally, that spot just happened to be right where my thighs meet. Yep, the friction from my thighs wore a hole in my jeans. Talk about depressing. And shocking. I’ve never been big enough for that to happen before…it was a good wake-up call though because I got my fat, thigh rubbing butt in the gym the very next day!

I'm mad but proud - still sporting OU
the next day. BOOMER!