The End

We are dangerously close to the end of 2011.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I haven't done much reflection on the past year yet.  I'm not sure I really want to.  It's not that it was a bad year - but I feel like I've gotten off track in several areas of my life and it's time to refocus and rededicate myself.  I'm ready to start something new. 

My Mom has some trepidation for the upcoming year...and really, I'm not even sure if trepidation is correct because she really isn't fearful at all...she just believes that the world is nearing an end.  I'm not sure I can agree with that but I do believe the end will come some day...and maybe it will be sooner than I think. 

Either way, it's a good reminder to make the most out of life and the new year seems like a good time to do that...so bring on the new!

Miss You

Ever have a friend that you used to talk to all the time and then something happens and you don’t get to talk anymore?  Don’t you just miss that person like crazy? 

One day something flutters through your mind and you realize how much you miss them, how much you miss being in their life.  Or you see them and get to spend just a little bit of time with them and it really just makes it worse because it reminds you how much more you want or how much things have changed?

I got to spend some time with one of those friends this weekend. 

I took M with me to see The Nutcracker.  We had an amazing time – I was so glad I could share that experience with her.  Her dance troupe just completed their own performance of The Nutcracker so she was super excited.  She was absolutely mesmerized with the dancing. I loved that she enjoyed it so much.

Then I met a friend downtown for some drinks and it was morning before we even realized it.  I think we could have spend another few hours talking if my husband hadn’t called wondering what had happened…I was shocked that the time had gone so quickly.  Of course, we got kicked out of the bar because they were closing, so that should have been our first clue…I still have no idea how 2:00 turned into 4:30.

We had such a good time catching up; he’s one of those friends that I can just really, really talk to.  And he’s honest and will tell me what he thinks without being judgmental…that’s a hard combination to find. So I know that life happens and things change but I miss hanging out with my friend.

Saturday was recovery. Not from the drinks, from the lack of sleep.  That’s something they don’t prepare you for when you become a parent.  There are no vacation days.  Kids don’t care how tired you are - they still expect to be fed and bathed and taken care of…demanding little beasts. 

So we grabbed breakfast at IHOP, swung by to pick up kids and never stopped. We had a fun family Saturday and I got some Christmas shopping knocked out but I was too busy running to catch up on sleep. 

I did manage to get a nap in on Sunday.  I did not manage to work up the energy to run.

Oh, well, what can I do but try again tomorrow…

I Stink

Day two of training done! 

I know it's only the second day but man, it feels so good to exercise.  It's one of those things that never sounds good but I'm happy I did it afterwards.  Kinda like apples.  They never ever sound good to me.  I just never have a craving for an apple.  But then, when I eat one, I always think they taste good. So now you know how I feel about apples. Glad I could get that off my chest.

I have got to get my eating cleaned up. But I'm not even going to address that until after the holidays.  There are too many parties and too many good treats to try to start now...

So I've ran and now I'm gross and stinky and I need to make a quick trip to WalMart.  I am seriously considering just throwing some clothes on and calling it good...I just have to run in for one little thing.  I'll be in and out and done.  Of course, that's when I will run into someone I know, who will want to stop and say hello and chat.  Because that's the way it always happens when you live in a small town - you see everybody when you aren't prepared to see anybody...

Oh screw it, I'm feeling feisty enough tonight to chance it...I'm going stinky and I don't care!

Funky Chicken

Ugh, I am in a funk.  I have been all day. 

The day started off pretty dang poorly - I was in tears before 8:30 a.m. 

And I'm not a big crier.  Is that even a word? Oh well, you get my point.  And it's not hormones.  It was just out of total and sheer frustration.

I thought surely things would turn around but nope, the whole day was pretty much just bad.

And it really kinda makes me mad because I'm usually able to jump over it but I just couldn't today  - there was just too much.

Thank goodness today is my off day because I wouldn't have run anyway. I just don't have it in me...

And It Begins

Today was my first actual training on the Jeff Galloway method. I thought I would start last week but a series of things like kids, holiday programs, and life just got in the way.  This is actually the very worst time of the year to start anything like this - it's such a busy time...but the clock is ticking and I don't have much time so I'm just going to have to make it work.

So let me tell you, Jeff is a sneaky SOB! Looking at it on paper, it seems completely doable.  But running it was a lot tougher then I thought it was going to be.  Tonight was just a 30 minute run, no big deal, right? 

Yeah, about 10 minutes in I was cussing him out in my head. 11 minutes in I was cussing myself out for being dumb enough to sign up for this thing. 12 minutes in I was cussing myself out for every other dumb thing I've ever done. 

Yep, if you ever wonder what goes through my mind when I run it's basically just a mini confessional - it's like I replay ever mistake I've ever made...and the bigger the mistake the more I think about it.  Not like I beat myself up about it.  I just...process. 

Or I do the complete opposite and don't think about anything.  It's weird.

So anyway, I'm running thinking that I am in some SERIOUS trouble because there is no way in hell that I'm going to be able to make 6 miles. But then I look and I'm almost done.  And I've ran over 1.5 miles. Over 1.5! And I haven't ran in...well, a long time. 

I was busting my rear before to work my way up to 2 miles and that was after a significant time of steady runs. So for me to do this on my first night...it makes me happy. 

Soooo like I said, this Jeff Galloway guy is a sneaky SOB because I think this may actually work...

Also, I know that Santa does not read my blog.  Santa doesn't understand blogs - he thinks they are a silly waste of time. But just in case, I want Santa to know that I understand that the tv and computer were our Christmas presents but if he is so inclined to bring me something else...I would really like some new running shoes. Some real running shoes - not some Nikes I bought because I thought they were cute. I could also use some new sports bras...yes, we're both disappointed the girls have shrunk but let's try to protect what's left. And socks. The short ones you can't see. 

Actually, Santa, you know what?  Just get me a gift card to Academy and let's call it good...

It's All Just Stuff

Money is such a weird thing - it's amazing how it changes people.  Actually, I don't think it changes people at all - I think it just reveals part of our deepest character.  Give someone money and you'll really see where their heart is. A generous person will continue to be generous, a considerate person will continue to be considerate...because people who have that kind of heart have it regardless of how much money is in their pocket.

And it's disappointing to see the other side of that. Because really, it's all just stuff. And at the end of our lives, what we've spent our life working to buy will either end up in the trash, or at goodwill, or maybe will be taken by some relatives...so that when they die their kids can throw it away or donate it to charity. 

Because in the very end, it all becomes garbage.

And that's what I really believe - it's just stuff.  But I got caught up in a moment tonight and I don't know...it's so easy to lose sight of what is really important.  I mean, I'm just as materialistic as the next person - I like nice things.  But I also have to keep it in perspective - there isn't anything in this world that I really need that I don't already have...and that says so much.

My husband works himself to death so he can provide a future for our girls.  He wants to make sure that they will always be taken care of...and I love that and appreciate that he is always planning for the future.  But at the same time, I wonder what it will really be like when we die...will they fight over the money we will leave them?  Be irresponsible and blow through it without anything to show?  Will they argue over who gets the painting in the entryway or what to do with our Eufaula property?

Or will they be able to put it in perspective,  look at each with love and know it's all just stuff?

The Importance of Pretty Panties

One of the best things about dating is the excitement. There is something really thrilling about knowing that someone finds you attractive, that someone wants you.  So we date, get in a relationship and then…something fades.  We tell ourselves that our relationship has changed into something more comfortable and assure ourselves that this is a new level, a better level, that it’s normal because the fire and desire can’t last forever.

Yes, relationships change and it is wonderful to know that you have a partner that will love you forever – it is comfortable.  But being comfortable doesn’t mean that we have to forgo the excitement. 

The newness may have faded but the attraction does not – he still, and always will, want to get you naked. 

Really the thing that’s changed is the way we feel about ourselves – we forget how sexy we really are.  We trade our lingerie for terrycloth robes, our tight jeans for sweats, our sexy underwear for cotton briefs…And then blame our husbands for not making us feel sexy anymore. 

Wanna revive that inner hottie?  Begin by wearing pretty panties, and here’s why:

1. Cute panties are the antidote for frumpiness.

2. People will wonder why you’ve got that silly grin on your face.

3. You don’t have to worry about being embarrassed if you get into an accident  and end up being rushed to the hospital– you know the medical staff will be adequately impressed.

4. Your husband will forgive the sweatshirt and flannel pants if he knows there is something better underneath.

5. It soothes the embarrassment of an accidental flash. Yes, it’s still embarrassing but a flash in unattractive underwear reaches mortification level.

6. There is just something wrong about anyone under the age of 50 wearing panties that go all the way to the waist.  Full coverage is fine, but keep it below the bellybutton.

7. You want to feel exciting, vibrant, and saucy…not like a character from the Golden Girls.

8. There is a reason guys enjoy Victoria’s Secret commercials. They are visual creatures; give them something worth looking at.

9. It will make you feel sexy.

10. Think of it is a present. We all know the real gift is inside but it just seems more exciting when it’s nicely wrapped.