List Bliss Flush

Tonight I decided I was just going to forget about my last two runs, put it behind me, move on and knock it out.

Yeah.  That so didn't happen. 

I did get on the treadmill.  And I did run.  But those were the only positives - it was a pretty crappy run.

Speaking of crap - I've had some interesting bathroom experiences lately. Twice in one day I visited public restrooms with a broken lock on the stall door.  Not that big of a deal, except the last place I want to meet an unexpected visitor is in the bathroom stall.  It's happened to me before and there is no graceful way to recover from the shock of a stranger literally catching you with your pants down. 

Now for most women, the cleanest, quickest thing to do in a public restroom is to not sit on the seat.  We hover directly above it and pray that we don't sway or rock or touch the seat in any way.  This is made way more difficult when you have to balance and push the door shut. Especially if you're short and can just barely reach the door.

It's the hover and lean.  And it's hard.  Really, try it next time. 

So it made me think about all these bathroom things that we all experience but never talk about...sooo, I made a list.

It's a little early, I know.  But I didn't post a list last Friday and I'll be out of the office all day this Friday and have plans for Friday night...so I'm meeting in the middle because what would you do without a list from me, right?

What Everyone Should Know About Using Public Restrooms:

1. You don't have to talk to me through the stall. Really. I get that your trying to be friendly but...it just kinda freaks me out.  Unless you're a good girlfriend, and then it isn't weird at all.
2. Some of us have temperamental bladders and at random times, no matter how long we wait,  we just can't go while you're around.  So do your business, wash your hands and go.  You can mess with your hair and fix your makeup somewhere else.  Get out so I can pee.
3. People actually do notice when you don't wash your hands. So yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on the casserole you bring during our potluck dinner.
4. If you decide that you're just anit-hygiene, for whatever reason, at least follow the example of the wet and run. At least these people get the importance of hygiene enough to at least pretend to wash their hands.  Apparently, sticking your hands under water for 2 seconds,without soap, makes them feel that they are doing their part to prevent the spread of germs and disease.
5. Don't comment on bathroom performance.  I may have just peed for like 5 minutes straight but that doesn't mean it's okay for you to say something like "Wow, you really had to go."  How am I suppose to respond to something like that? "Yeah, I'm training for the National Urination Championship - working my way up to a 10 minute stream." Just do what the rest of us do- don't say anything, wash your hands, and then when you get back to your office tell them all about it.
6. Just like you learned in Kindergarten - if you make a mess, clean it up. Really. Don't be gross.

Okay, I'm off to sulk about my bad run and figure out how to turn this around...