Purple Pants Eater

So I’m tired of the heavy blog material and thought I would brighten it up by sharing something fun and silly…but I got nothin.  So I guess I will go with boring and random instead…

I’ve been on a wild shopping spree lately – really, this month I went a little crazy.  Clothes for me, clothes for Benny, clothes for the girls…I’m a thrifty shopper so it wasn’t too bad but I need to reign it in before it becomes a habit.  And I need to get rid of all the clothes I have that I don’t wear – although it seems like as soon as I get rid of something I suddenly want it. 

I had a purple suit that I used to love…I know it sounds hideous.  For some reason I just had an image of MC Hammer in a bright purple suit pop in my head…but it wasn’t like that at all.  I loved that suit.  Well, I haven’t been able to wear it in years. Years.  And it hung at the back of my closet, neglected and sad. 

At random times I would pull it out and try it on.  Because if clothes hang long enough sometimes they magically stretch and suddenly fit, right?

So I was in one of my purge modes and I threw out a bunch of clothes that I couldn’t wear.  I just got tired of seeing all these clothes that my body was too big to fit into – even when I was sucking in.  So I took three huge bags to goodwill.

 Now I’m just the size to wear all that stuff.  Not that I’m so much smaller or anything – it’s just when you’re short you can’t carry any weight.  There isn’t any place for it to go, except out.

So I randomly found the jacket in my closet last week.  I was so excited – I threw it on and it fit.  I was so stoked. But wait, the pants.  Where are the pants?  Pants are important.   Unless you’re a celebrity and then it’s perfectly acceptable to go out in public without pants – just wear stockings and a hat and they’ll praise you for being fashion-forward.  For the rest of us, well…trust me, you don’t want to forget the pants.

So the stinkin pants are nowhere to be found.  I looked everywhere.  And then I remembered.  I saved the jacket, thinking that I could still wear it.  That’s one of my little chubby chick tricks – if a shirt or jacket is too small, who cares!  Unbutton it and wear it anyway.  So I guess I was applying that rule in this case…but now I have a random purple jacket that won’t really look right with…anything.

But I am not getting rid of that jacket!  The minute I do the pants will randomly appear.  Let’s just hope that when that happens I’ll still be able to wear them…