People Are Strange

I was talking to one of my best friends today about social media and how it's created a whole new set of social dynamics.  It's interesting because I enjoy it in so many ways - I like to be connected, like to share, and I enjoy the kind of witty banter that dominates that forum.  Big fan of witty banter.

But sooo many people don't understand the rules.  I think I'm going to write a book "Why Your FB Post Make Me Embarrassed For You." Or for the younger generation, who feel the need to showcase their every emotion, "I Don't Care What She Said About You: Stop Violating My Eyes With Your FB Drama." Or how about "FB May Make You Brave But It Won't Make You Attractive."

I could have used the last one recently because I had a really bizarre thing happen.  About three years ago I got a random email from a guy I kinda dated a loooong time ago.   I don't think I ever really liked him,  I didn't even really find him attractive but I was 16 and he was only the second boy in my life that expressed any interest in me.  And unfortunately, that was enough.

It sounds way desperate, doesn't it? It probably was.  But boys weren't into me and I liked the attention.  That fact of the matter is,  high school boys avoid fat chicks and in high school, anything above skinny is fat.  And I've always been chubby sooooo yeah, they weren't beating down my door.

So anyway, this guy sends me an email to my work account. Just a hello, found your info and how's life type thing. No big deal.  Obviously, he had spent some time looking me up because he didn't know my married name but that was fine, I think most of us are curious about people from our past.  So we exchange little life updates - where we work, what we're doing, marriage/kids. Standard stuff.

The next week I get a message from him on MySpace (yeah, remember when that was hot?).  I'm sure he was probably trying to get me to friend him so he could see my pictures.  Although I didn't friend him, it was okay because I've looked at pics of people from my past too. Sometimes just to see how they are and sometimes because I'm trying to answer "What did I ever see in you?"

So he sent me a message on FB recently - a short life update. I update him. He sends another. I respond with one or two sentences.  On his third email he explains that he has an 18 year old maid who "services" him while his wife is away and she looks exactly like I did when I was 16, except she is not a virgin. And then he tells me that it makes him think of me when he's with her and that's why he looked me up.

Whoa, hold on there, cowboy.  How do you go from "how are you?" to something like that?   I mean, the guy didn't even try to throw out some subtle flirtations to see if I might be interested - he just went straight in for the full monty.  I couldn't even give him points for being bold, it was so out of order.

So I replied that I would prefer he not think of me while banging her, that my husband wouldn't appreciate any of it and that I wasn't interested in hooking up.
And he got mad. At me. AT ME!

I wasn't rude or anything - I just wanted him to know to save his energy, that it wasn't happenin.  Clearly, he expected a different sort of response because he sent me a scathing email admonishing me for ignoring the other stuff he had written and choosing to focus on those few lines.  Ummm, sorry but that part just kinda jumped out at me. 

Maybe he thought I would appreciate, even be grateful  for, the attention.  But it's been a long time since high school...