Manic Monday

Don't you hate it when your morning starts off with an email with bad news?  So do I.

I had put in a request for something at work and when it was discussed verbally it sounded like something that would be supported. So I submitted my official request and just got the email that it won't be approved. Frustrating. And confusing. But mostly just frustrating.

I've got several things this week that I'm going to have to take care of that I honestly would rather just avoid altogether.  I have such a hard time with that side of the job - I hate having to address issues.  I guess everybody does...I just feel it's especially difficult for me.  I do it because I know it has to be done but it is the most unnatural thing for me.  Managing people is the hardest thing I have ever done. Besides parenting. And that says a lot. 

Speaking of parenting - I fell in love with my girls all over again this weekend. I mean, I always love them.  But I think sometimes I forget how to enjoy them.  We had a fabulous weekend together and it was really hard to go to work today.  Really hard.

We've been talking about having me stay home. It's something that I've got to make some decisions about.  There is a part of me that absolutely wants that - for me and the girls. But then there is that part of me that struggles with the thought of not working - giving up something I enjoy. It's hard for me to imagine just walking away.  And it's scary to give up my independance.

It's been a discussion in our home for some time but we're at the point that a decision needs to be made. It won't happen overnight but the hourglass is running out...