You're Gonna Do What To Me?

So I've got a couple of orthodontist appointments coming up and I wasn't really sure what they were going to do. It's like finding the prize in the cereal box -I never know what I'm going to get. Last time it was a metal spring and a mouth full of sores. Good times!

I didn't want to be miserable during M's party so I thought I would call and get some kind of idea what was going to be happening inside my mouth. My first appointment, this week, will consist of putting in some spacers. I was a little surprised because I thought those typically went in before the braces but okay. She said there were would be some slight discomfort but I should be fine. Awesome. I'm good to go.

Then I asked about my appointment next week and she told me they would be splenderizing me. So what's splenderizing? I asked. Turns out she didn't say splenderizing, she said slenderizing. Great! I'll take about 5 inches from my waist, two from each thigh...Oh wait, we're talking teeth, right? So what exactly are we planning to do here?

File down my teeth. They are going to take an emery board type tool and rub it in between my teeth to strip them down and thin them out.

Yes, apparently, even my teeth are fat.