When it rains, it pours. And thunders. And flashes with lightening.
In the last few days we have been absolutely hammered with life issues. I get that's the way it works, I know life is filled with ups and downs. But I'm more of a straight line girl. I would rather not have all my down at one time. Can we just kinda spread it out evenly instead of dumping it on me all at once? Is that too hard, life? Is it? IS IT?
In trying to manage some of this stuff, we orchestrated a kid delivery. Right before closing husband dropped off a little sickly. Our first flu victim, she seemed to be holding up remarkably well. I was gathering up some papers and closing down when she told me she had to go to the bathroom. So we walk across the hall to the bathroom. Leisurely, with no sense of urgency. When we are two steps away from the toilet when she gets this look on her face. There was no way that look meant anything good. Then she looks up at me, with big shocked eyes, and says "I'm peeing!"
I immediately yank down her pants, swoop her up and throw her on the toilet. It was all one super speed motion. Just as I look to see if she peed her panties, I see something plop on the floor.
Poop.
Liquid poop.
Everywhere.
Oh baby girl, that wasn't peeing at all. Bless her heart, she had no idea what had happened. I think she was as shocked as I was grossed out. But what do you do? You muffle down that gag reflex and get to work. I stripped her down, cleaned her up and managed to discreetly smuggle an almost naked child down to my car. Because that's how this mommy rolls...
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