Confessional Monday

I could hardly get out of bed this morning. Part of that was the fact that my husband’s stupid weather alarm kept going off last night. Seriously, it felt like it went off every two hours. I was ready to rip the dang thing out of the wall and throw it out the window. And in my disoriented, sleep-deprived state I may have growled some type of violent threat because he finally got it in check. So I had just enough uninterrupted sleep to get into really good deep sleep when my alarm went off and it was time to start the day.

The other difficult part of getting out of bed was the actual getting out of bed. Physically it was just hard to do. Had a really, really active weekend and my poor, out-of-shape body was not prepared. Of course, this wouldn’t be a problem if I had been keeping up with the workouts. I’ve been walking but I have to confess that I haven’t had a home workout in over two weeks.

But that’s not my worst confession. Oh no, there’s more. Here’s a glimpse of some of my transgressions from this weekend:

1. I Watched Nearly Naked Men Gyrate: The husband had just gone to bed when I grab the remote, plop on the couch and look for something that doesn’t involve alligators, noodling, Alaska or surviving in the dessert. Not that I mind watching that kind of stuff but occasionally I like to watch a tv show with more dialogue then “Git it, git it! Yeah, that’s a big one thare.”

So I’m flipping through and guess what movie is about the start? Magic Mike. Now this was something that I thought would be kinda fun to see with a couple of girlfriends but not something I was just dying to see. Let’s be honest – no one is watching this movie for the plot. But it was a “see it now or never” kinda deal because there is no way the husband would watch that with me. So I decided to seize the opportunity and see what all the fuss was about. But I did feel kinda weird watching it alone. Like seedy old man talking to little girls weird.

2. I Don’t Like Men Gyrating, Nearly Naked Or Not: So I was able to determine that I’m not a fan of male strippers. There’s just something really unattractive to me about seeing guys in sparkly thongs prance around and pretend to pole dance. Ugh. Just no.

Sorry Channing Tatum, I know you’re supposed to be super hot but there was nothing sexy about you in that movie. And now,  you may be ruined forever because I’m just not sure I can ever get over the image of you humping the floor.

I can't unsee this...

3. My Father’s Day Present Was A Fail: You may remember my agonizing decision about a Father’s Day gift. I had planned to buy tickets to the Red River Rivalry. One of the best games every season – the atmosphere of that game is something every Sooner fan should experience. There’s nothing like it - it’s amazing!




I was about to buy the tickets when I was hit with another wave of fear – how is he going to feel about this? So, I decided I would do a trial run and see how that went. I didn’t actually pay for anything but I printed the confirmation so it looked like it had been paid for. I decided if he was okay then I could pay for them and we’d be good and if he wasn’t happy then I hadn’t lost anything.



Well, it was really really good that I hadn’t paid for them because the first thing he said was “You paid this much for tickets?” And they were expensive – we’ve gone before and found cheaper tickets – but they were the cheapest I could find this far in advance. So I explained that he was always doing big surprises for me and that I wanted to do the same for him and while he was appreciative, it bothered him to not be involved in the decision.

And the thing is, I knew it would. Because the way he grew up, he has this underlying fear of not having enough money and he only feels comfortable financially when he’s got control. And I don't mean control in the bad sense - I mean he feels secure when he's overseeing the budget. And so for me to make a purchase like this, it's outside his comfort zone.

So I was a little bummed that he didn’t like his gift (or the idea of his gift) but more bummed that I completely ignored who he was. Talk about fail!

4. I Suck At Parenthood: Sometimes I’m a great Mom. And sometimes I really suck. Like when I wake up to “The Tooth Fairy didn’t come last night!” My heart seriously sank. How? How did I forget that?

 There are a few basic principles of good parenting – keep them safe, keep them watered & fed, teach them about God, say I love you every day, introduce them to your favorite sports teams, and make sure they believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. That’s it – that’s all a kid needs to have a good childhood. Well, that and an occasional ice cream cone. But somehow, I can’t even manage to meet the minimum requirements.

We reasoned that since the tooth came out right before bed, M was put on the bottom of the list and since she has woke up so early (6 something) the Fairy was not done making her rounds. Dad rushed her to the bathroom and I went into ninja mode - run downstairs, grab money, run upstairs, grab tooth, shove money underneath pillow, run to back to bed - in under 60 seconds.

She came back upstairs and wanted to show me what a bad job the tooth fairy had done “Really Mom. My tooth is still there. She never took it!” So she dragged me out of bed to show me and surprise! The Tooth Fairy had finally caught up. Thank goodness for a save because I'm not sure I could have survived a disappointment like that.