Can I Rewind?

I’ve made a mistake.

I broke my rule and done something I know I shouldn’t have done. And I feel bad about it.

While I was at conference we made a late night visit to a piano bar.  I had fun. Too much fun.  I didn’t realize it at the time but I was a little more gone than I thought and it wasn’t until the next day that I realized what I had done.

I have a small group of friends that I love and trust – these are my go-to people.  I feel like I can say anything to them - I know they understand and most importantly, I know the conversations won’t get repeated. So when I need to vent, those are the people I call. Other than that, I make it a rule to watch what I say and not talk about other people.

Apparently, this rule doesn’t apply if I’ve been drinking.

I ended up back at the hotel, sitting in the lobby running my big, fat mouth. I don’t remember how the conversation started and honestly, I don’t even remember most of it. But I distinctly remember talking smack. And that’s a major foul.  I’m so pissed at myself – I know better than that!

And to make it worse, the person I was talking to is not someone I trust.  In fact, I have reasons to distrust them.  Really, Amber?  You get drunk and talk all kinds of crazy crap and this is the person you decide to talk to?  It couldn’t have been anyone else?  At least one of my friends would have told me to shut up.

My only hope is that her memory of that night is as blurry as mine.  Because really, I try to be better than that. Obviously, I’m not but I try.

I blame the entire thing on a guy at the bar who introduced me to these drinks…something bombs.  I was standing in line to get a drink when he walked up and asked me what I was drinking.  I responded by telling him he couldn’t buy me a drink and he laughed and told me I was awful presumptuous, that he didn't say he was going to buy me a drink, he just asked what I was drinking. And it was funny, because I was being presumptuous. 

But I didn’t want the guy to waste his time or his money – buying me a drink was going to get him nowhere and I wanted him to know that right away.  I was trying to do him a favor.  Of course, then he felt sorry for me and a minute later he was putting this bomb drink in my hand.

And I’m picky about my drinks but this was good. A little too good…

So I feel bad and hope I didn't do too much damage.  And I'm implementing a new rule - I'm not allowed to talk after two drinks.  And that will actually work out in everyone's favor!