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| Photo courtesy of M, who got a lesson about working on cars |
I changed the air filter in my car! This was exciting to me for two reasons: it desperately needed it and I've never done it before. It was super easy, by the way. I'm not trying to be all "woman power" over here but it makes me feel good when I do stuff on my own.
I never felt that marriage should exempt someone from taking care of themselves independently. I had a friend who desperately wanted to get married and she would always say "I just need help! I need someone to help me around the house." And she honestly meant it - she wanted to get married so she wouldn't have to do it all alone. I thought, and still do, that was one of the lamest things I had ever heard. You don't get married so you have someone to boss around and assign errands to! Hello? That's what children are for...
But seriously, wanting a spouse because you need a handyman? Crazy. She met someone online and when he would come visit her from out of state, she had these lists of things for him to do while she was at work - mow the yard, weed eat, fix things...one day she came home to some flowers and a goodbye note. She was most upset that he hadn't finished his list.
I've always considered myself a traditionalist, but I guess deep-down I'm really not because I think it's silly to assign "his and her" chores. I don't think my husband has washed a pair of underwear in...over 12 years. I am certain that he managed to keep his tighty whities clean before we met - trust me, dirty drawers would have been a deal breaker.
But somehow, the fact that I come with boobs automatically makes me more qualified for laundry duty. They really should put a warning label on these things- WARNING: boobs may increase aptitude for housework, impair ability to drive, decrease comprehension of math/science, reduce interest in and/or knowledge of sports, enlarge child rearing responsibilities and induce lame stereotypes.
And it's not even really about gender. I just think you do what needs to be done. It's that simple. When the trash is full, take it out. Why would I wait for someone else to do it? I've been taking my trash out since I lived on my own, I don't suddenly stop just because I have a husband. That makes no sense.
I just think it's important for people to live the way they want to live - married or not, you have a right to live the life you want. My husband is a major grinch and he's not into Christmas lights. I, on the other hand, love Christmas and everything about it - especially the lights. The first year we were married when he said he wasn't doing lights, I was upset. And confused. How can you not want to do lights? It's CHRISTMAS! But then it hit - why should I let his disinterest prevent me from having lights? If I was single and wanted lights I would put them up myself. So I did. And I still do. And if he helps, great - they look better - and if not, that's fine too. I've still got lights and I'm happy.
Don't get me wrong, I still fall into the typical traps. You did see the part above about the laundry, right? And I personally don't do any major home repairs. Not because I don't think it's my role, but because I have limited experience working with power tools and I value my limbs.
So I'm excited I learned how to change an air filter. Now I can add that to my list of Can Do...
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