Radio Head

I flipped on the radio yesterday, half listening to the music, thinking about the day and all the things I need to do tomorrow when the dj came on and I had a sudden flash of déjà vu.  Not from something particular he said, just the voice because it’s one I used to know well.

I was at a friend’s apartment, hanging out and killing time. Because that’s what you do when you’re young. And I don’t remember if we actually had the radio on or what…but one of the radio stations used to have some kind of program where you could call in and there was a psychic or horoscope…I can’t remember which.  I think it was horoscope because I really used to be into that. Not like the this is what will happen to you today kind of horoscopes, but zodiac signs. And it isn’t like I believed “in” it but I found it interesting and sometimes surprisingly accurate.  And I’m a Libra and yep, I pretty much fit the description.

I go to her bedroom, sprawl out on her bed and call in to the radio station. Now, I’m a naturally lucky person but I’m really lucky when it comes to the radio.  So I wasn’t shocked when my call actually went through. So the dj answers and I blurt out something like “I’m born in October, I’m a Libra!” or something like that. I just remember that I just jumped right in, like I always do. No hello or anything – just bam!

And there was this long pause. Super long. Just dead silence. So I thought maybe he didn't hear me. So I said it again. And there was another pause. This one not so long. Followed by a laugh as he tells me I called the wrong radio station. That program was on the OTHER station, their competition.

I don’t remember what I said but I know I laughed because who makes that kind of mistake? Plus it’s my default setting. Embarrassed? Laugh. Nervous? Laugh. Happy? Laugh. Frustrated? Scowl, cuss and then laugh.

And then the conversation just continued.  He put me hold when he went on air but we talked for at least three hours. I don’t even know what about. Anything and everything. And we kept talking. Every single night for the next couple of weeks. It was the coolest thing -  he stopped putting me on hold and would tell me to hold on real quick, and then I would hear him say something – live into his mic - and then right back to the conversation like no big deal.  I was SO tempted to make a sound, to say something while he was live, just because I knew I couldn't.

So we talked for over a month before we decided to meet. We had these very deep, very philosophical and very interesting conversations. It was so strange because we had this relationship. Not necessarily romantic – because I can’t really say it was – but we had some kind of connection, even though we had never met. So he asked me out to dinner and I accepted.

The thing is, knowing someone before you meet them is hard. Really hard. Because you kind of make them up in your head. And then may or may not be disappointed when you do actually meet them. And I was – there was zero chemistry. None. No attraction whatsoever.  And I realized he felt the same the moment he whipped out an old photo album (remember when we used to actually print pictures?) and showed me his ex-girlfriend. The 6 foot tall, pencil thin, blonde ex-girlfriend.  And if there is anything a guy can do to tell you he’s not attracted to you, it’s to tell you he is attracted to someone that is the exact opposite of you.

And it quickly fizzled out after that. Years later I ran into him at a bar – he was doing some promotional work for the station. He actually remembered me, which surprised me – in a good way. It also confirmed no chemistry and how important chemistry really is…