Skinny Jeans Are Not My Friend

Can I swap something out on the list from my last post?

Totally scratch the whole skinny jean thing.  They aren't my friend but let's be honest - I didn't just discover that this past year.  I've actually known it for a very long time. Before it was even acceptable to wear skinny jeans I knew I shouldn't wear them.

This past year was simply a reminder of that. Actually, the pictures I've seen of myself were the real reminder. Fat girls and skinny jeans do not mix.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll still gonna wear them.  Several months from now I'll be standing in my room trying to find something to wear. Nothing I find will work. I'll furiously ransack every drawer in my dresser, pulling out clothes and tossing them manically all over the room only to discover an old pair of jeans at the very bottom.  I'll pull them out excitedly I forgot I had these!  They'd look so cute with _______(insert any random article of clothing)! I'll throw them on  I'll lay on the bed and squeeze myself into them, feeling triumphant that I actually got them zipped. Never mind that I can't breathe and I look like a stuffed sausage - they are on my body and I feel great!  Then I'm out the door, completely oblivious.

Until I see a picture.

Then it's a jolt of reality and back to the bottom of the drawer they will go.  It's my own version of the cycle of life.

So #1 on the list was a bit of a cheat.  I can assure you that 2014 was the year, however, that I discovered flannel pants. Flannel pants are the opposite of skinny jeans. We're best friends.

I don't know what my opposition to flannel pants has always been but I've never owned any.  I still wouldn't if my Mom hadn't bought them.

So now I'm officially part of the flannel wearing wife club!

Wow.  I could actually feel my level of desirability go down a couple of notches just typing that.  But I don't care! I know there is nothing sexy about flannel but they are oh so comfy.  And comfy wins.  Ohhh, there it went again.  That meter is dropping fast...

You know what's not comfy? When my thighs eat my shorts!

I hopped on the treadmill tonight in a pair of shorts I wear around the house.  Who would have thought a simple decision like that would be such a disaster?  I mean seriously, have you ever tried to stay on a treadmill while your shorts are being sucked up by your thighs?

I've had shorts do that before (it's a byproduct of all the french fries) but this was extreme.

See for yourself: *Proceed with caution

I cropped my stomach. You're welcome.

And this is after one side had already "dislodged". There was some serious scrunching up going on there...

Think I have my first lesson of 2015...