7 Day Itch

For the last I don't know how many years (but too many) it's been my ritual to stop on the way to the office and get a Dr. Pepper. I drink the stuff like it's water so it only makes sense that's what I would pick to be the first thing in my body each morning. Hello early morning shot of sugar and caffeine - let's get this party started!

I've made no secret of my soda addiction. And if you've been unfortunate to witness it, you know how deep and ugly it really is. I've tried to give it up a thousand and one times - and I've always failed.

Do you know how hard that is?  To fail at something so simple?

I mean. We're not talking heroin here. It's freaking Dr. Pepper!

And to fail so many times. It's ridiculous.

It makes me feel so weak. Like I have no will power or control. And honestly, I don't - or I wouldn't give in.

I don't even think I would care that I drink a ton of soda every day if I felt like I didn't need to. If I felt like I could give it up. I want to give it up mainly to prove that I can.  But I can't.

So yeah, it's not life threatening or serious and people usually laugh when I tell them I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper but it's a weakness. And I hate that.  And I'm ashamed of that. I just don't feel like it's something that should be a struggle.

So I'm working on it. Tomorrow will be 7 days since I've had a soda. Of any kind - because occasionally I'll flip over to diet o make myself feel better about it.

I've gone longer than 7 days before. I've gone months before. But this time is a little harder because I'm trying to be careful that I don't replace the sugar with other things. That's what I usually do. Not intentionally, but that's what happens. I start to drink a lot of sweet tea, raid the girls candy stash, make cookies...

Day one and two were pretty easy but the last few days have been hard. Friday some colleagues brought in some cookies to celebrate our refunding. I was good and deferred but they sat there and by late afternoon I had one. And it's like opening pandoras box - once I start, I don't want to stop and on the way home I had to call a friend to avoid eating another one!

And of course, I crumbled over the weekend and ate two.  My intention was to bring them to the family but there they were, staring at me every time I opened the pantry. I should have just chucked them...

I'm hoping tomorrow will be easier. At least when I'm at work I'm busy and distracted.

And don't have access to cookies...