Smooth Operator

Soooooo I'm getting waxed today.

A Brazilian wax.

It's my first and I'm equal parts excited and nervous.

No, that's a lie - I'm more excited.

I think.

I'm pretty sure I should be freaked out about the pain.  But I'm not even worried about that. I can do pain. You grit your teeth, hold your breath and then boom - it's over.  So pain is not my worry.

What I am worried about is the fact that someone will be working down there. It just seems so awkward to me.

And oh my god, I hope she doesn't try to talk to me while she's doing it. I'm sorry but I will not be able to carry on a conversation with you while you're down between my legs. I just can't.

Please, please just let me lay here in silence and melt in my humiliation.

I know I've had people down there before. Okay, so "people" doesn't sound right. Just to clarify, not like "people" as in multiple at the same time. Is that even possible? I mean, how would that even work? 

What I'm trying to say is that all my other "between the legs" experiences have been different. The gynecologist is quick and clinical and I don't ever really feel like she's really looking at me. Same with adult time - I think we're so busy getting down to business there isn't really time to look, look.

But this person's entire job is to thoroughly examine my whohaa. With like a microscope. Aggggghhhh!

I don't think my vagina has ever undergone such scrutiny.

I am, however, excited enough about the end results to suffer the embarrassment.

It may also help my case for laser hair removal, which I've been bugging my husband about for at least two years. So this has the real potential to be a win/win.

And since every major event must have a theme song, I'll be silently singing "smooth operator, smooth operator" in my head for the next few hours before my appointment.

Wish me luck!