Dear/Deer - What's The Difference?

So sometimes I do silly things - like type "dear" when I really meant to type "deer". It happens.  It's not that I don't know the difference between the two - really, I do.  I'm not claiming to be the best speller in the world but I did make it through the third grade, which I think is about the time they teach you the differences between those sort of things.  It's just that when I blog I literally just type whatever comes through my head, there isn't much filtering or editing going on - and I like it that way. 

So just ignore it and move on. Or go to great lengths to point it out if that's what makes you feel good. Either way, I don't care.

So yesterday's training was suppose to be an easy walk.  I left the house at 5:30 and didn't make it home until about 11 that night - so there was no easy walk.  I'm not trying to deviate from the program but I don't feel guilty about it, like I would if it was a run day.  I do, however, feel guilty about my eating.  Ugh, it's been horrible.  Got to get that cleaned up right now!

This morning as we were leaving the house M asked me if I was pregnant.  I told her no and asked her why she thought that and she told me my tummy was getting big like when I had M2 in it.  I did tell her it was not polite to tell people their tummies are getting big but geez, the kid was just being honest.  And I'm not a big t-shirt person - really, the only t-shirts I wear are the fitted ones so it's not like I can hide the obvious.

And it's not that big of a deal, I know how it works: working out = healthy and not working out = weight.  What is frustrating though is that the weight I have gained has all gone to my tummy.  Well, almost all of it.  A little tiny bit has made it's way to my chest.  Which should have been a positive thing except that little tiny bit apparently favors the right.

I've always been fortunate that I was happy with my chest.  Decent size, symmetrical - not perfect but acceptable.  I felt pretty lucky.

Then I got pregnant.  I had heard horror stories about changes after breastfeeding - everyone said they were never the same.  But it was something I wanted to do, even if that happened - decent boobs were something I was willing to give up.

During that time they actually looked phenomenal. Sorry if that's gross, but it's true. I was so excited.  I thought okay, so that's how it works - it's kind of like a Mommy gift - you get these really amazing boobs while you breastfeed.  Then they kinda get gross afterwards - it 's like a parting gift.

Except that really didn't happen with me.  They didn't get gross and all was well.  Until now.  Now they've changed and I've ended up with a  mismatched set. 

So this is yet another reason that you can bet I will be on the treadmill tomorrow (today is an off day)...at this point I don't even mind if they get even smaller - I just need them to look like they belong together.

I Will Run You Over, My Deer

Spent the day conducting leadership training for our state association.  You know, it's interesting because no matter how old I get or how much experience I have, I continue to discover new things about myself.  Here are some things I discovered today:

1.  I have some awesome friends.  Okay, so I didn't just discover this today, I've known it for a long time but the more time I spend with them the more amazing I think they are.  I'm telling you, these girls rock!

Love these girls...

2. No matter how hard I fight against it, there are just some things that are innate to my personality. I should spend less time trying to change these things and more time trying to figure out how to use them to my advantage.

3.  No matter how much I prepare, how well I know the material, or how entertaining I make it - I am always paranoid about my presentations. I have a deeply held belief that it could have been better, I could have done more.

4. Taco Casa's super nachos. Yuuuuum.

5. Durant, OK is home to the largest peanut in the world. But it's not a real peanut.  So really, it's just the home of the largest peanut statue in the world.  Somehow, that makes it a little less impressive.



The peanut statue



This bench is for people confused about what town they are sitting in...

6. In addition to not being able to cook, bake, or successfully play sports - I also cannot drive.  I actually discovered this at the end of my day.  When I hit a dead deer.  Laying in the middle of the road.  I feel like I have a somewhat legitimate excuse for how this happened but by the hysterical laughter of the passenger in my car I'm assuming others would find it less legitimate than I do.



We survived the deer!



Day 2 Is Through!

Day 2 of training complete! 

I know it's only my second day (yesterday was an off day) but I'm getting really excited about this! Can't wait to make it the full 13 miles!  That's both thrilling and frightening.

But I'm super determined to make this happen.  And if it's one thing about me it's that when I get something in my head I'm stubborn beyond belief and I won't let it go.  Just ask my husband.

So I'm putting that determination to use and channeling that energy into making this happen!

Punch Drunk

I feel slightly drunk this morning.  No, I haven’t been partying it up – just severely sleep deprived.  I’ve been going to bed too late and then last night we pulled an all nighter with a sick kiddo.  Or a healthy kiddo that just didn’t want to sleep… I’m not sure at this point which one it is. 

Thank goodness that kind of thing is rare in our house – both my girls sleep like champs.  They get that from me.  This is not so great for the hubby because when they do actually wake up, I sleep right through it.  I attribute this mostly to my ability to secure a coma like state of slumber.  Most the time I can sleep through anything – storms, tornado sirens, roaring trains…and crying babies.  I am almost certain this is the reason my husband wasn’t willing to go for baby number three.

And even though this is completely out of my control, it’s a point of resentment for the husband.  Not that I blame him – it really would suck to get woken up only to look over and see your spouse peacefully, deeply, soundly asleep. 

But because he gets frustrated that he always has to pull night duty he sometimes wakes me up to do it.  That sounds fair and reasonable, right? 

Except most the time he can’t go back to sleep. 

So neither one of us gets any sleep.  Which is the story of last night, although I did get a few more hours than he did…and when you haven’t had enough sleep a few hours are like gold.

And waking up all night was a good reminder to me of the reality of having a newborn.  Which I needed because I’ve been kinda struggling with the fact that M2 will be our last baby.  I was reorganizing my Kitchen on Monday and I found all her sippy cups, which we haven’t used in about a year but I just couldn’t get rid of them…I just couldn’t.  It made me too sad.  So I just moved them up and out of the way.

Then I set up her big girl bed.  Her crib is convertible so she’s been using it as a daybed but I actually set up her real, twin size, grown up bed.  And as I was packing her crib bedding away I just started crying.  Nothing dramatic or hysterical – just a few little tears at the sadness of knowing that part is over for us.

And then we get a night like last night to help me remember to be grateful for exactly what we’ve got and where we’re at…

Celebration of A Non-Failure

Dinner dishes - done
White crap all over the floor - vacuumed
Stinky trash - disposed
Fat butt - penalized by the treadmill

Day 1 of training complete!

And it's a good thing too because I wasn't kidding about the fat butt thing...while I was running I could feel it jiggle!  Now I've always had a big behind but it was firm - maybe even perky back in the day.  That kinda made having a big behind not so bad.  But a big, jiggly behind is totally different.

My stomach has been jiggly for a while and that's hard enough to deal with but jiggling from both ends? That I can't take...

Confessions Of A Failure

I have had a night.  It's 9 and I just got the kids to bed - M2 goes down anywhere from 7 to 7:30 and M goes down at 8. 

Yep, that kind of night.

I am spent and exhausted and have no energy.

None. Nada. Zip.

And all I can think about is that I am suppose to run tonight. That I can't wait another day, I've put it off for too long. If I don't I will feel terrible. And terribly lazy.

And then I think about the mess from dinner. The laundry in the dryer. The trash that needs to go out. The white packing foam that M2 managed to shred into a million impossible little pieces.

Yep, that kind of night...

I Need Help

If you happen to see me and you think that I look like I’ve gained a little weight over the holidays you would be incorrect.  I’ve gained more than a little. 

But I don’t regret one minute of pigging out – I thoroughly enjoyed every delicious bite.  It almost, almost, makes the extra 10 pounds I’ve gained worth it. 

Of course, I didn’t pick up the extra 10 from holiday gorging alone – nope, that’s months of skipping workouts and eating like I’ve got the metabolism of an 18 year old.  So today my dear friends is my day of redemption – I’m back on training going to start the training program I should have been on the whole month of December.

It should be interesting because technically I should be able to do a 3 mile walk/run before beginning the training schedule…now I haven’t been on my treadmill in some time but I am fairly certain that I couldn’t.  Oh well, I gotta jump into it – the clock is ticking!

And Santa didn’t read my blog (no big surprise) so no new running shoes for me. He did, however, get me some new perfume.  Although the first day I wore it he sniffed me, asked me if I was wearing the new perfume, scrunched up his nose and told me it smelled like Play-Doh.  Wonderful.  Because nothing screams sexy like smelling like a daycare. 

So beyond starting the training, I was also suppose to give up soda today.  Yep, suppose to.  I just…couldn’t.  And like any cold hard addict, I have a million and one reasons that today wasn’t a good day to start.  And like any cold hard addict, I am racked with guilt.  But apparently not enough guilt to stop sipping this Diet Dr. Pepper.

Can someone please point me to the nearest Secret Soda Sipper Support group?  I need an intervention, NOW!