Punch Drunk

I feel slightly drunk this morning.  No, I haven’t been partying it up – just severely sleep deprived.  I’ve been going to bed too late and then last night we pulled an all nighter with a sick kiddo.  Or a healthy kiddo that just didn’t want to sleep… I’m not sure at this point which one it is. 

Thank goodness that kind of thing is rare in our house – both my girls sleep like champs.  They get that from me.  This is not so great for the hubby because when they do actually wake up, I sleep right through it.  I attribute this mostly to my ability to secure a coma like state of slumber.  Most the time I can sleep through anything – storms, tornado sirens, roaring trains…and crying babies.  I am almost certain this is the reason my husband wasn’t willing to go for baby number three.

And even though this is completely out of my control, it’s a point of resentment for the husband.  Not that I blame him – it really would suck to get woken up only to look over and see your spouse peacefully, deeply, soundly asleep. 

But because he gets frustrated that he always has to pull night duty he sometimes wakes me up to do it.  That sounds fair and reasonable, right? 

Except most the time he can’t go back to sleep. 

So neither one of us gets any sleep.  Which is the story of last night, although I did get a few more hours than he did…and when you haven’t had enough sleep a few hours are like gold.

And waking up all night was a good reminder to me of the reality of having a newborn.  Which I needed because I’ve been kinda struggling with the fact that M2 will be our last baby.  I was reorganizing my Kitchen on Monday and I found all her sippy cups, which we haven’t used in about a year but I just couldn’t get rid of them…I just couldn’t.  It made me too sad.  So I just moved them up and out of the way.

Then I set up her big girl bed.  Her crib is convertible so she’s been using it as a daybed but I actually set up her real, twin size, grown up bed.  And as I was packing her crib bedding away I just started crying.  Nothing dramatic or hysterical – just a few little tears at the sadness of knowing that part is over for us.

And then we get a night like last night to help me remember to be grateful for exactly what we’ve got and where we’re at…