Take A Load Off

Yesterday morning I was corralling the girls to go downstairs to finish getting ready. And like I do every morning, I scooped up M2 to carry her down. 

Our two story house was never meant to be a two story house. It was meant to be a one story house with an attic. Somewhere in the past 100 years someone renovated it and changed it into living space. Well, it was technically living space but I’m not sure how anyone lived up there because the renovation was not done very well – there were four teeny tiny bedrooms (barely room for a bed) and no central heat or air. To be fair, there wasn’t central heat or air in the house at all but since it wasn’t insulated for living space it got sweltering up there – like unbelievably hot. 

Although the very first thing we did when we bought the house was put in central heat & air, it took us a while to actually finish getting that space ready. And we’re still not done.  We’ve changed four bedrooms into two and added a bathroom (that’s the part that is yet to be done). So we just lived in the downstairs and never went upstairs. Until about a year ago when we got the bedrooms done and we moved upstairs.

I never had to deal with having a toddler and a house with stairs. Especially stairs like ours. It’s an old house and these are attic stairs – very narrow and very steep.  We’ve redone them so they aren’t as steep as the originals but still...

So I always carry M2 up the stairs and down.  Or at least I did until yesterday morning.  I swung her up on my hip like I always do, took a step down the stairs and absolutely froze in pain. I couldn’t hardly make it down and had to call for help – it hurt so bad!  I think it was just the way I moved when I picked her up. Or the fact that she’s 31 pounds.

Either way, I’ve done something and it doesn’t feel good. It hurt yesterday but it really hurts today.   I am especially concerned because I’ve gotten off track with my training and I pulled a new training schedule yesterday and I will have exactly enough time to be ready for the relay marathon.  If I start today. 

In the back of my mind I know I probably shouldn’t but I think I’m going to try to run anyway.  I feel like I need to. I do not want to get out there and embarrass myself. Or disappoint myself.  And I psyched myself up about it yesterday; I was reenergized and ready to go.

So I’m gonna try it…I may not be able to move afterwards but at least I would have gotten my run in, right?

Pat On The Back

I'm sitting here eating a cookie.  But it's not a oh-my-gosh-so-stressed-must-get-food cookie.  It's just a need-something-sweet-after-dinner cookie.  So it's okay. As okay as it can be when stuffing your face with cookies this late at night. 

And don't ask me why I have cookies. I honestly don't know.  This is not something I buy. Well, I mean, I guess I kinda did or I wouldn't have them, would I?  But it's not something I normally buy.  Although you can't tell it from my tummy. Or from my rear.

But when we do have cookies I buy the dough, because M loves to help me in the kitchen. I kinda feel bad that we don't make them very often...it makes her so happy.  Tonight this cookie was not made by M but by Nabisco. A legitimate impulse buy.

I've had so much to say the last week.  So much that I couldn't actually say any of it - I thought about it a couple of times but it was a lot to process and when I sat down to write nothing came out.  And that isn't meant to sound dramatic - I just didn't know where to start.

But don't get me wrong - I totally have a flair for the dramatic. I'm just gifted in that way. Which is why I was chosen in mid-high as the lead character in a skit performed in front of the entire school. It was based off a Saturday Night Live sketch  featuring the androgynous character Pat. And I got to play the lead.

Now that I'm thinking about it though...I may have been chosen more for my ambiguous sexuality than for my acting abilities.

And much like the gender of Pat, we shall never know...

Bah Humbug

I've had a heck of a week and I haven't been in the happiest of spirits...so it's only appropriate that my Friday list reflect this attitude.  So today here's a list of things I dislike:

1. Peas

2. Immaturity

3. Socks with flip flops

4. My baggy jeans are no longer baggy

5. Beans (but I like bean dip - because that makes sense, right?)

6. Being woken up. This doesn't apply to my girls becaues they aren't old enough to realize how dangerous it really is.

7. Staying up to finish a stupid movie just because I feel like I need to see the end

8. That I'm a blue

9. Pouring all the ingredients in only to realize my milk has expired

10. Hectic mornings. And every morning is hectic with little ones

11. My inability to stay on a workout routine

12. Chaos

13. Being touched by people I don't really know

14. All the embarrassing stuff I ever said to the guys in my past

15. That I don't really read much anymore. I love to read and I miss it

16. Cleaning the bathroom

17. Ultra competitive people that use every opportunity to strategize. Really, it's not that big of a deal

18. Wearing underwear that doesn't match my clothes.  If I change my outfit, I change them to match

19. When every radio station has talking and not music

20. Adults in crocs

What A Day

There are just some days that test your patience, push you to your limit, and are absolutely without a doubt infuriating.

I had one of those days today.

The majority of my day was spent fuming, reeling, and processing about things that should have never happened. And saying to myself, over and over again, "Oh my God. Did that really just happen?"  and other variations of that. Some with strong adult language.

The good thing about having a day like that (you didn't really think I was going to ignore that there's a positive side, did you?) is that those are the kind of days that reveal your character, provide clarity, and help you grow.

So even though I would have preferred to avoid all the nonsense that I was presented with today - in the end I can say that it was a good opportunity for me to step outside my comfort zone. And I'm honestly a little surprised by how natural it was for me to handle it the way that I did.  All the greens in my life would be proud.

As a reward for my day I decided to do something nice for myself.  What I ended up with is a bunch of gooey stuff smeared all over my face.  If you ever need an alternative form of birth control, try a clay facial mask. There isn't a man out there that will find you attractive after seeing you covered in that mess.

If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself...

And I wonder why he doesn't think I'm hot!

So my mask has dried to the point that it's almost impossible for me to move my face...so now I've got dried gooey stuff all over my face. Time to scrub the mug and call it a night!

SO Over It

I am frustrated beyond measure. Just SO aggravated!

I don't mean to rant but Geez! How hard is it to act like a grown, mature adult?  I just don't get it.  I never imagined that I would be dealing with the stuff I've been dealing with. I'm not naive, I know sometimes things get messy. But this, this is past ridiculous!

I'm ranting about people who have maturity issues, people who apparently don't take me seriously when I tell them to knock it off. I don't understand what's so hard about taking the high road. It is really that difficult?  DO THE RIGHT THING!!! Even when it's the harder thing to do - especially when it's the harder thing to do - do the right thing!

I am done. Just so done!

February Fun

I worked out tonight. I really needed to.  It's been so long and I am so out of shape...I'm already sore so I know I'll barely be able to lift my arms tomorrow.  That makes me happy.

Had a really fun and full weekend. Girls night out Friday - totally unexpected and last minute.  I put the girls to bed, tucked them in and then I was off. We made the rounds and hit a couple of places...

I got to dance and I had fun but it may not have been the best for my self esteem.  The second place we went wouldn't let me in.  I was the last one and right as I start to go in the bouncer holds his arm up over the door, blocking me out.  I am hoping that they were just making sure they weren't at capacity - at least, that's what I'm going to believe.  We left about 5 seconds after walking in so I'll never know...

Not let me in?!? But I'm SO cool!

 

Okay so I'm not cool, but at least I'm happy.

Then at the next place a guy comes up to or table and went around the table asking everyone to dance - but I was the last one he asked.  I mean, really, who wants to be last choice?  And it's really too bad for him because I was the only one that wanted to dance bad enough that I would have said yes. If I hadn't been the last one he asked.

But the night wasn't a total bust - I did get asked to dance. By the oldest, most desperate guy there.  The band was only playing couple songs so I was a little bummed so I said (rather loudly) " Oh my gosh, this stinks!  I just wanna dance!" and about 5 nanoseconds later he's there asking me to dance.  And how do you say you don't wanna dance immediately after yelling that's all you want to do?  Soooo, me and grandpa dance. Totally awkward.

Very funny ladies, very funny!

Spent Saturday hanging out at the house and then went out to celebrate the birthday of one of my most favorites. 

Birthday girl!

We waited over an hour to eat at Ted's but it is my absolute favorite so I had no problems with that.  The food was so good!  Then it was time for bowling. And yes, the no athletic ability even extends to bowling.  We played two games and I was the worst in both games - it was ugly.  But I had fun and totally didn't care and I think everyone else actually kinda liked it - because I made them all look good.

My friends rock!

CHEESE!

Love these two ladies!

So happy birthday to dear Rosario - thanks for being such a great friend! I love you! And thanks for a great end to my February Fun month! 

Rockin our 30's!



Praying To The Porcelain God

So I've been spending a lot of time kneeling in front of the toilet lately. But no worries, this is Phase III in my relationship with the porcelain god.

Phase I involved late nights, good music, and lots of dancing.  We'd get to the club and I would head straight for the dance floor. And of course throughout the night my friends would bring me drinks - with all that dancing I might become dehydrated, right?  And how can a girl refuse a gesture like that? I mean, I didn't want to seem rude... So sometimes, maybe, at some point the room may have started to spin a little and I may have laughed a little too much and a little too loud while declaring my declarations of love for anyone who happened to be standing in my vicinity, and I may have needed just a little bit of help balancing in the three inch heels I was wearing.  And sometimes something I ate didn’t quite agree with my stomach so I would end my night spending a lengthy amount of time kneeling in front of the toilet.

Phase II involved early mornings, growing our family and cute little baby bumps. I felt great with both pregnancies but I did succumb to morning sickness.  With M I never really felt nauseous. I would just be sitting there and all the sudden I would know I was going to get sick so I would calmly walk to the bathroom, do the deed, and feel immediately better. Piece of cake. 

It was a tiny bit more difficult with M2 because they had me on progesterone- which is a female hormone. So I was getting huge doses of this hormone and it was hard for my system to take. So I actually felt nauseous and did the deed. It hit me a bit harder and lasted a bit longer with her. In both cases, however, that was my introduction to motherhood – that was the experience that made it real.  As I knelt in front of the toilet, I understood very clearly that my body was no longer my own and that everything about my life was changing.

Phase III involves milestones, big girl panties and growing up.  And a Mommy who is not sure how she feels about all that.  M2 is officially potty trained!  We’ve been moving in that direction for a while but I wasn’t in a rush, I’ve been lingering and letting it happen naturally. And maybe even secretly kinda avoiding it a little. She is, after all, my baby and sometimes it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that this is it for me. Until I see someone with an infant and I recognize the glazed, frantic, sleep deprived look – then it becomes not so hard. So we’ve been wearing big girl panties for two weeks now.  So I’ve been spending a lot of time running to the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet and waiting for the magic to happen.  And singing my special pee-pee in the potty song. Which is one of my personal favorites.

And out of all the phases, I have to admit – this is my favorite.