Puttin Out Fires

Had a little "incident" at work today.

I was in a closed door meeting with a student when I began to smell something burning. It really just smelt like someone burnt their popcorn.  In the next few moments it got stronger.  Just as I was getting up someone opens my door and as they say "Something's smoking out here." I see a billow of smoke start to drift in from our counselor's office.

I immediately go into emergency mode. I run in and the first thing I think is electrical fire.  It didn't matter that I didn't see a fire - I just start unplugging everything I can see. There was no logic or thinking - it was just reaction.  I'm just trying to get this thing under control. So I'm just pulling plugs as fast as I can.

Then our counselor comes in and explains that a student was using our microwave and apparently the sandwich she was heating was wrapped in something that was not suppose to be put in the microwave. Something that was obviously flammable.  The whole entire floor was smokey and people from the first floor came up because they could smell something. It was bad and I was shocked (but eternally grateful) that the smoke alarm did not go off. Or the fire sprinkler system. Oh my gosh - can you imagine how embarrassing that would have been?

Apparently, it was caught just in time.  The student put her stuff in the microwave and left to go back into our lab. There wasn't anyone watching the food.  One of the mentors came in and happened to notice the smoke. It was really just lucky timing.

So guess who won't be using our microwave any more...

Monday Funday

Happy Monday!

Trying to recover from a busy, busy weekend - I needed just one more day. Just one more, that's all.

Friday evening I took a group of participants to the ballet to see The Wizard of Oz. It was such a good production!  I really think M would have enjoyed it. It made me think about getting season tickets. I don't know if we could squeeze that in but I think it would be fun. For me. Not for the hubby, who is not into that kind of stuff. At all. But I wouldn't expect him to go - it's not his thing.

My mom kept the girls Friday night, since it was guys weekend at the lake.That meant I had the house to myself. All. By. Myself. It's been a loooong time since that's happened. Of course, I didn't get home until after 11:00 so it's not like I had the whole evening. But still, it was nice. I stayed up really, really late and made all kinds of noise - just because I could.

Saturday I got up really early - which did not go well with my late night. The bags under my eyes were almost as big as my ears. It was rough. But I had to meet my sisters to work a family garage sale. We had a whole house full of furniture and stuff from my grandfather's Oklahoma property. It's been in storage for several months and it we needed to get rid of it. At least I got to sit outside and soak up some sun. I was in desperate need of that - not so much for the tan aspect, because it was cold and I was completely covered, but just so I could actually see some sunlight. Being stuck in an office all day kinda puts a damper on that...

I took the girls to a Powwow that night. They got some little tom-tom drums so the rest of the night all I heard was "I yiy yiy yiy" and drum beating. Over and over and over. I'm not too worried though - they'll be onto something new and forget about those drums by tomorrow. And then they might have to mysteriously disappear.

I did cleaning/reorganizing yesterday. We got the Expedition ready to sale.  Not real happy about that - I love my truck and don't really want to sale it. Hubby has never really been a fan - that was my baby and we only got it because I wanted it. But it's a gas guzzler and the mileage is starting to creep up so on the market she will go.  Not gonna lie, I'm gonna miss that ride...

Time to get this day going - got a list of things to be done. Gonna try to knock it out...

Doctor In The House

No, that isn't my way of announcing I'm getting my doctorate degree.  You know, there was a time in my life when that seemed impossible. I honestly couldn't even wrap my head doing something like that.  Then there was a time when I decided that would be my reality.  I was absolutely convinced that was the direction I wanted to go.

Now...well, I just don't know. Goals change, priorities change.  Is it something I want to do? Yes, it is. I'm just not sure how much I'm willing to sacrifice to get it.  It's less time for the girls, who are already cheated in so many ways.  It's more for me to manage, when I am already stretched in so many ways. 

It just doesn't seem like I can fit that into my life right now. Or maybe ever.  And that's okay too.

That doesn't mean, however, that I don't enjoy playing Dr. Mom, which is why I'm so excited - I bought a Otoscope tonight! That's the little ear thing doctors use, in case you didn't know.  I realize my enthusiasm about that says a lot about the level of excitement in my life...but I really am excited.  I've already looked in everyone's ears. Multiple times. And if I could figure out a way to do it,  I would look in my own.

See, it really doesn't take much for me to get excited.

Now, how can I get my hands on a stethoscope?

On The Edge

I have been so tired lately. Dead tired. Like sit down on the edge of the bathtub to brush my teeth tired. Which can sound a lot like laziness but it wasn’t – that would have been just skipping the whole brushing the teeth thing.

And as I’m sitting, brushing my teeth (the tired but not lazy way) it dawns on me that I know exactly why I’m so tired. It all has to do with a magic yellow pill. A little pill I should take every day. A little pill I haven’t taken in…way too long.

I have no idea why it’s so challenging for me. I make sure the girls take their vitamins every morning. Okay, almost every morning.  Mondays can be a bit challenging.  But I do a pretty good job of staying on top of it.

But when it comes to me – I can’t seem to make it a priority.  Even though I know my body needs this to function properly.

I used to do really good, it was just part of my morning routine. I would only get messed up when I ran out because it would take me a while to get a refill. And I’m not sure why that’s so hard…I mean, really?

This time it took me several months. I waited so long my prescription actually ran out and the doctor’s office wouldn’t give me a refill until I came in. But then I told her how long it had been and they called me in a temporary.  And that’s what I’m still using.  Because I haven’t been taking them.

And I swore I would never do that. I swore I was never going to be one of those women let themselves go. And I’m not talking about looks – I’m talking about being so busy taking care of everyone and everything that you forget to take care of yourself. 

I’m not there yet. But this is an indication that I’m creeping in that direction.  Next thing you know I’ll be wearing granny panties, flannel pajamas and crocs…

Lord help me!

Small Fry

Our first school program tonight. I can not believe my baby is so big! It was so cute and they did so good! It's the one time that I'm really glad my girls are runts like me - it ensures that they will always be on the front row.

Although I'm sure that isn't enough consolation for M.  Last night at dinner she sighed kinda heavy and said "I'm the littlest in my class." I said "So, what's wrong with the being the littlest?" And she said "Well, I just don't want to be the littlest. It's not fair."

Um, yeah, sorry baby you've got a lifetime of being the littlest ahead of you...better learn to overcome that disappointment real fast.

Of course, she won't always hate being a shorty.  When she realizes she can date even the smallest of guys and still make them feel big,  she'll be thanking me...

I'm Not That Good

I just read my last blog post and I don’t like the way it makes me sound. It came across as a bit martyrish to me…and  I think it’s a little misleading in a lot of ways. 

First, I’m not as moral or ethical as it seems. Yes, I made the right decision in this instance. But I’ve also had instances in my life when I did not make the right decision. So they kinda cancel each other out. 

I also wasn’t trying to make it sound like I was some super hero for sparing this woman from knowing the truth.  I had just a second to decide how to respond and that was my instinct. But I have no illusions; I wasn’t really saving her from anything. It was before they were married and had happened so long ago that I seriously doubt the truth would have had much impact at all. 

So yeah, I try to do the right thing but I’m no saint and that wasn’t really the point of the story. It was really just about how sometimes things come full circle in a completely different way than you expect. And about how strange it is when two people’s realities clash…

Isn't It Ironic?

I've had some pretty strange things happen to me in my life. I'm sure everybody has. But it makes me wonder: what's the purpose? what was the lesson? was there a purpose at all or is it really just that random?

The summer after I graduated high school I was still working fast food. We were a really close group and we all used to hang out after work and on the weekends. I loved my Sonic family.  There was a guy that was part of that extended circle: he was best friends with a couple of the guys. I hardly knew him but he used to come up and hang out. And he was cute. Really cute. And I'm pretty sure he knew it.

All the girls used to fawn over him. I didn't waste my time. He had a girlfriend and I never imagined he would be interested in me. One night I got a page (remember those things?) from work. When I called they told me to come up, someone wanted to talk to me.  I got there and there was that guy.  He met me at the door, said he needed to tell me something. My heart skipped - I was sure he was going to tell me my little sister was in trouble. She was dating his best friend and she had a tendency to be a little rebellious. I thought it was going to be bad. Really bad.

Instead he said he had a dream about me and that ever since that dream he kept thinking of me in a sexual way. I had no idea what to say. I mean, what do you say to something like that?  So I laughed and said thanks. That was it - I didn't have anything else to say.

So over the next couple of months I got an apartment with one of my best friends and the whole group would hang at our place. And he continued to hit on me. Aggressively. There was a teeny tiny part of my that was flattered but mostly I just understood that I was probably the only girl he had met so far that wasn't interested in him. I knew it had very little to do with me - I had just become a challenge. 

And every time he hit on me I would tell him no, that he had a girlfriend.  I didn't know her - she never seemed to be around. The only interaction I had ever had with her was carhopping her food. But she was really close to all my guy friends and I just couldn't imagine doing that. Not that I was so full of morals but I didn't want to be that girl.  I wondered if the other guys knew he was out running around on her.  I was certain he was - if he was that aggressive with me there was no doubt there were other girls too. I never told anyone, except my roommate and little sister.

Over the next few years I saw less of him but it was pretty much the same. The night before he got married he showed up at my apartment. And kissed me. Another friend of ours was there to chaperon him but he caught me in the hall - it was quick and only once. I pushed him away, told him to stop. And that was that. He left right after, got married the next day and I didn't see him again. I heard from our friends that he joined the military and he just faded away.

Six years later I see his wife. Coming into our office. I had moved positions within our office and she was the new hire. I said hello, asked if she remembered me. And she acted....weird.  It was obvious by the end of that first week that something was wrong. It was subtle but I could tell. Eventually, she told one of our coworkers that we had a "history" and that we hated each other. She even recounted a time that she had called me and cursed me out.

I was blown away. None of that happened - I didn't even know the girl! I was certain she was confusing me with someone else. My only connection to her was that her slimy boyfriend had hit on me. That was it. And I was pretty sure he had never told  her that. The coworker she confided in happened to be one of my best friends. I explained there was no history and told her everything. Her advice was to tell the girl what had happened with her husband. There was absolutely no way I was going to do that. I mean, what was the point? I didn't see any good coming out of that.

So I went along, was friendly and professional and tried to be helpful in getting her up to date on her new job. We attended a conference several months later. We didn't have the same flight but we all three flew out at the same time. So we were at the airport together, waiting to fly home. She tells me one of my old friends just got married and then, out of nowhere she tells me that one of my old roommates was at the wedding and she didn't have nice things to say about me. Before I could even respond she continues and says "She said you used to have a thing for G and used to hit on him all the time." G is her husband.

I was speechless. Literally, I couldn't say anything. She continued on with a tirade of mean, nasty things that were said about me and the only thing I could say was "No. I was never interested in G." Automatically, I just started to reason out why all the things she said about me weren't true.  I was in total defense mode.

But I didn't tell her the truth about him. I didn't say one word about all the times he tried. All the times I said no. Nothing.  I just couldn't do it. How ironic to be accused of hitting on him when it was the exact opposite all those years?

And in a matter of minutes it was time to board. I sat down in my seat and was in shock.  About learning my former roommate was saying such awful stuff about me. About hearing her say I wanted her husband.  I was so mad I started to cry. I was just so pissed about the whole thing but mainly about the fact that I felt like she purposely repeated mean things just to hurt me. I didn't, and still don't, understand people who do that.

We never had a confrontation after that, although there was a mutual understanding that we would just avoid each other.  It was so bizarre and surreal. Nothing like that had ever happened to me.  I've wondered several times if I should have said something. Maybe that was an opportunity I should have taken to fill her in. Maybe it all lined up because she was suppose to know.

It doesn't really matter though: the opportunity passed and I have no plans to revisit that conversation. I know the truth, he knows the truth and she never will. And that's more than okay with me.