Observations From A Fun-loving, Loud-mouth, Over-eater, Avid Reader, French Fry Lovin, High Heel Wearin, Dance Floor Junkie

Random observations from the past few days:

"Vacationing" With Kids Is Not Real Vacationing: We had a great time in San Antonio - it was really fun family time. We spent an entire day at Sea World, explored the local area, enjoyed some quality time with a dear friend, ran through the Alamo, had a ride down the Riverwalk and even took a carriage ride. It. Was. Fun.  The entire trip centered around the kids - and it should have! And I'm so thankful we were able to do these fun things for them - M is still talking about the carriage ride, a request she made (repeatedly) since day one. And there is nothing cooler than watching your child light up with excitement. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

But when you have kids, at least young ones, trips are work! Just the logistics alone. We're in line to do something or on the one stretch of desolate highway with no bathroom in sight and someone has to pee. Or someone who declared they weren't hungry is starving 30 minutes after we leave a restaurant.  

Just taking them to a restaurant! They do good from the span of being seated to receiving drinks - anything after that and it's "Get in your seat!" "Stop banging your fork!" " I said stay in your seat and get that fork out of your eye!"  Young kids (at least my kids) do not have the patience to wait that long for a meal. And can we blame them? Patience is not innate - I don't remember but I'm sure it was quite a shock the day I realized the world did not, in fact, revolve around me. And almost every child's earliest "restaurant" experiences are at fast food places - where they sit and get their food immediately. My kids associate sitting at the table with getting food. So the concept of having to wait doesn't always bode well...So we made provisions - for the benefit of our kids and our fellow diners. No fine dining. No hoppin pubs. If the place doesn't have booster seats, we're out.

So my sister can say I'm spoiled all she wants - we're going to continue to take a Mommy/Daddy trip each year too. Even if I don't go anywhere except to a hotel across town. I want to sleep in past 6:30.  I want to have a conversation without getting interrupted 10 times. I want to be able to enjoy a delicious meal without hearing "Mommy, I have to poop." right in the middle of it.

My Kid Loves Roller Coasters: M rode her first roller coaster at Sea World. She rode it about...oh, 15 times. I'm not kidding. She had some apprehension before it started but after her first ride she ran and got right back in line and just kept going.   And this makes me SO happy because I love roller coasters! Deep down inside I'm a thrill-seeker - roller coasters, scary movies (psychological thrillers, not gory stuff), anything that can get my adrenaline pumping. My husband, on the other hand, hates that stuff. He doesn't do roller coasters and won't watch a scary movie. So I'm so excited to have someone to share this with - eventually. No worries, I'm not breaking out the scary movies just yet.

Public Restrooms Are Disgusting: This isn't a new observation but after what I endured this past week, it warranted repeating.   We frequented a lot of restrooms on the 8 hour drive. A lot. And some of the cleanest were the gas stations. It was surprising because the absolute worst was Sea World. It was just gross. Not clean at all. Even the floors. It was like someone just pushed a mop around without ever rinsing it - so it was just like they spread the pee all around. And I don't understand why normal behavior doesn't apply to public restroom use. Don't most people flush the toilet at home? Then why, why, is it okay for you to not flush so that I have to discover your lovely parting gift?  And if someone peed on their seat at home, they would surely clean it up, right? Then why is it so hard to wipe it off in a public restroom, because I'm certainly not wiping it up for you. 

My Kid Is So Stinkin Cute: This isn't new either - but I just had to say it. My baby girl is at such a fun age.  M spelled something out and we had to guess what it was. When she told husband he was right, M2 beamed up at him and said "Good job Daddy!" and you could tell she was just so proud that her Daddy could spell.  Later that night she said very sarcastically,  "Really, Daddy? Seriously?" Only 2 and so full of attitude. I'm going to enjoy it now while it's cute and not think about the teenage years.

Orthodontist Work Should Be Done By...Well, Orthodontist: One of the wires on my braces was just a little too long. It actually went all the way to my last tooth (which has no bracket) and it kept getting caught - when I would eat, when I would brush my teeth and sometimes when I would talk. So I had the bright idea to have the husband snip it off for me. This is just what I do - I'm a do it yourself fixer. But it usually doesn't work out - I have ruined enough clothes and spent long enough with a bad haircut to know that I should just leave it to the professionals. But did I do that? Of course not.

So I convinced him to snip it off. But he snipped it just a little too short. Or the edge is jagged. Because it pokes me constantly now. And I reached in to see if I could kind of bend it in and it pricked my finger and made it bleed. Twice. This wire is serious. And of course, the smart thing to do would be to call the Orthodontist and tell them what happened. Bud will I do that? Of course not.

I'm just going to try to not talk or eat or do anything that might require me to move my mouth. Until my next appointment. In July.  

I Need To Be Doing Other Things: Headed out of town tomorrow to go to husband's 20 year high school reunion. I've got to figure out what to wear and get us packed. We're leaving straight from work so I've got to get it done now - doing anything extra in the morning is out of the question. Right now I just feel lucky if we're all wearing shoes and have our teeth brushed!

Down South

We’re taking off tomorrow for a mini-vacation. Heading down south to San Antonio for a few days. Going to make the rounds to the big spots – Sea World, The Alamo, River Walk…It isn’t a sandy beach but I’m super excited. 

When we started our family I decided that I wanted to take the girls to visit each state – I just thought that would be cool for them to say that they’ve been all across the US.  Obviously, we’ll visit more than one state during some of the trips to get them all in. So we’ll start close and as the get older and are able to tolerate longer road trips we’ll branch out…so we’re off to begin the tradition!

So pumped!

Six Feet Under

I loved my first grade teacher, Mrs. Ebbey. She wore bright red lipstick and high heels with butterfly designs on them – I thought she was beautiful. And she decorated her classroom for each holiday, which I thought was so much fun. I couldn’t wait to see what she would put up.

One day she begins to talk to our class about the next holiday – Memorial Day.  I was so excited – new decorations! So I raise my hand and ask “What are you putting up next, caskets?”

I asked her that because, at the age of six, I knew exactly what a memorial service was.

My whole life, my entire family has been involved in the funeral business. My great-grandfather and grandfather owned funeral homes. My Dad worked for a vault company and all my uncles either worked in a funeral home or for a vault company as some point. My Dad even got one of my boyfriends a job at a cemetery.

Some of my earliest (and best) memories of my Dad are from when I was really little and would get to go to a set-up with him. A set-up is when the vault company goes to the gravesite and prepares for the service by lowering the vault into the ground, covering the mound of dirt with fake grass, putting up a tent and setting out chairs for the family. Then we would drive over somewhere in the cemetery and park, inconspicuously, and wait for the service to end.

Unlike most movies, families typically don’t shovel the dirt themselves.   Actually, in almost all movies, what you see is the family shoveling dirt directly onto a casket. This wouldn’t happen even if the family did do that – because caskets are lowered into the vaults and vaults have lids. So what you should actually see in movies is the dirt being shoveled onto a big cement box…

But typically, the casket is lowered in the vault (which is already in the ground) and the family leaves. So we would wait for the gravesite service to end and my Dad would put the lid on, put the dirt back, and clean up. And he would always let me take one flower from the arrangements that were left. It seems really tacky now but as a young girl that was my favorite part. That and playing King of the Hill with my sisters on the dirt mound while my Dad set up.

And it was never morbid to me. I know when you talk about playing in a cemetery people visualize Wednesday Addams but it wasn’t anything like that. We understood death and what it meant but we weren’t obsessed or fascinated with it – it wasn’t something dark. 

In fact, my family was always able to find some humor within this very somber profession. Never in a disrespectful way – in a way that would lighten the burden of sorrow that they witnessed each day. They talked for years about a doing a show about the funeral business – and several years ago someone actually did. We should have taken the idea seriously…

I would like to write a book about it – another for my long list. But I’m fascinated with the history and evolution of the business - it’s amazing to me. Even if I never write a book I think it’s interesting enough that I want to formally write down some of the information that my grandmother has shared – for family historical value alone. Did you know that back during the time when my great-grandfather was in the business that one of the duties of the town funeral director was to also run the ambulance? That seems like such a contradiction! Can you image that today – how many lawsuits there would be?

And the deceased used to be kept in the home too. Funeral directors would go there to embalm and dress the bodies. My grandmother says that when the trend became to change – when they began to take the bodies from the home – that my great-grandfather was convinced that the idea would never catch on. He couldn’t imagine that people would begin to get comfortable with sending their loved ones off somewhere.

Which is funny because I can’t imagine keeping them!

Bottoms On

Had an orthodontist appointment today. I wore the free shirt I got at my first appointment - the one the tech obviously did not think would fit.  Petty? Yes. But worth it. So there, you rude witch! Learn some manners and give people the size they want without your snarky comments.

My new ortho outfit

I finally got my bottom braces on. I'm happy about this because my top teeth have been moving out and my bottom teeth haven't...so, guess who was starting to look like Bucky Beaver?

The orthodontist came over for a quick minute - I usually only see him in about 15 second increments when he checks the work. Really, the quality of my smile is in the hands of the dental tech. But he said things looked good and then muttered something about a spring. He never talks directly to me so I had no idea what he was referencing. But apparently, when he said "spring it" - he literally meant for the tech to put a spring in my mouth. Which she did.

Yes, I have a spring in my mouth. I have a wonky tooth on the bottom. The only really crooked tooth I have. It's never bothered me - it's on the bottom and you can't see it...but from an orthodontic standpoint, it's a real booger. And requires extensive metal.

And it keeps getting cuter...

They also put two huge globs of something on two of my top teeth to prevent them from hitting my bottom brackets. So when I close my mouth, my top and bottom teeth don't really meet.  Whatever they put on my top teeth are what actually make contact. It's very annoying.  And I won't be chewing my food very good for a while. I tried at dinner but it didn't go too well. Which makes sense - since your teeth are suppose to meet in order to chew.

Those black dots keep my  teeth from meeting. Nice, huh?

So this whole braces thing is no joke. Only two years though, right?

I Did And I Do

Yesterday we celebrated nine years of marriage. Nine years. It seems like a lot but at the same time it really doesn't.  I mean, my parents were married for over 20 and my grandparents were married over 50 so 9 doesn't seem like such a big deal...but I'm grateful for another year.

Marriage is hard. I think anyone who doesn't admit that isn't really being honest. No matter how good the relationship, there are just inherent challenges that come with merging your life with someone else's.  You give up a lot to do that. It's kinda funny, we live our whole life working towards independence - we want to be grown, make our own decisions, live our own life...and then we get married. And it's not like we lose that independence but it's altered. It has to be somewhat if you care about what your spouse thinks - you can't just run off and do your own thing anymore. Well, most of us can't, anyway.

At least I had an understanding of that when I got married. I was old enough that I didn't have false illusions - I knew it would be work. I may have underestimated it a bit, but I had a general understanding of what kind of commitment I was making. But still, I think sometimes the finality of forever can be surprising.

Each and every morning while I'm in the shower my husband comes in and hocks a loogie. Loudly. Every. Morning. And it grosses me out. One morning I heard him do it and it hit me- I'm going to hear that every single day of my life. Every single day.  It was a sobering thought. Forever, ever? Yep, that's what it means. I forgot to write the "no loogie clause" into our vows...

But you take the bad with the good and you hold on and try to make it work. And some days it's harder than others. Some days I make it really hard.  I wish I could say that I've been the kind of wife that I thought I would be, the kind of wife God called me to be. But I've fallen short in many ways.

And yet...here we are, another year down. I look at the life we've built together, the family we've created - our family - and I know that I wouldn't trade that for a million loogie free mornings.

Forever, ever? Forever ever.

Pomp And Circumstance

So I think tonight was the first high school graduation ceremony I've been to since my own.  It was good to see the kids all so excited. But funny too - in each and every speech they referenced "making it" and "we survived"...and I don't mean to diminish the accomplishment but it was so funny to me because honestly, high school is the easy part of life. Really, it just gets tougher.

But I was young and felt the same way once. I remember thinking I was "free". Yeah, right! Free to work 40 hours a week, pay bills, and keep up a home. Sounds pretty darn free to me.  What I didn't know, what these kids don't know, is that they will probably never be so free ever again...

GHS Class of 2012. I think my class was 3 times this size...

It was exciting to see her graduate though and I'm excited about her next phase of life.  It's amazing to me that she's grown. Funny too because there is a 16 year age difference between her and M2 so it's likely her kids will be closer in age to my kids than she actually is...weird.

My Dad and his wife were there. That was kinda awkward. I didn't know they were coming. Not that I mind being around them, I don't necessarily. Although there were several years when I refused to do so...but it just gets so complicated. And every time, every single time, I try to extend myself I end up frustrated. Basically, above and beyond the fact that's he's just a bad, bad  person - he's an ass.

And maybe some people can get away with that but it's hard to accept from someone I don't have any respect for - it's like really, after all the crap you've done, you're gonna be a jerk too? I hardly see him - the last time was in early November for my granddad's funeral. So I went over to say hi, we made small talk for a few minutes and then M had to go to the bathroom. And when I came back he was gone. Didn't wait to say goodbye or anything - he just took off. And I just think that's kinda crappy.

And then I was just pissed at myself for even going over and saying hi. Why? Why do I do that? Every. Single. Time.

I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to get that answered.  I would just need to shell out some dough and lay on a couch for about an hour every week...

Time Keeper

I've had a crazy busy week - busy, busy, busy. Don't think the weekend is going to slow down any either. My niece graduates high school tonight. That seems unreal - wasn't it just yesterday that I graduated? No? Well, it seems that way. I still feel just like that girl. Okay, maybe not just like her...her with a few more pounds, a little less innocence and a pretty unattractive c-section scar.  But she's there!


I remember on my graduation day feeling like I could do anything I wanted to do, that the world was absolutely mine, waiting for me to go out and take it on.  I was so full of hope and promise. And I still secretly feel that way.


And then I look in the mirror and I see this face staring back at me - and it takes me by surprise that it's slightly wrinkled. Not for the fact that I'm getting older but because the years have gone by so quickly. And I know the next 20 years will go just as quick and soon, very soon, I will look in the mirror and be surprised to see that's it's completely wrinkled.


And kids, they accelerate everything - fill your life so full that weeks slip into months and months morph into years. I mean, M is almost 6 and I have absolutely no idea how that happened. Because honestly, it doesn't feel like 6 years...