I haven't had much time to blog lately. That's actually a good thing because that means I've been busy spending my lunch hour at the gym and my evenings working out. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to get everything done. But just in case you feel like you've missed out on the oh so exciting escapades in my life, here's a snapshot of my week.
The Good:
We held our annual celebration to recognize our participants. It was so much fun. It was the first time I've gone into a speech without having something prepared. Apparently I'm making a habit of that because the last time I had to speak, at our state conference, I quickly wrote something out while I was sitting at the table right before it was my turn to go up to the podium. This time I just winged it. And I never do that. I'm not a strong enough speaker to do that. So it was not the most eloquent speech I've ever given but our students were so pumped up that I'm sure they didn't even notice. They have really formed some strong relationships so it was so cool to see them encourage and cheer each other on - they truly were celebrating each other. My staff also did something special for me and I was so touched I got a little chocked up - I just feel so fortunate to have good students, a successful program and a staff that understands and supports my vision.
I also got to watch our graduates walk across the stage at our commencement ceremony. That's always such an exciting day. I'm just so proud that they've all overcome their challenges and stayed strong and finished. It's so easy to give up - drop a class, take a semester off and then where are you at? Earning a college degree isn't easy - it's a lot of work and deserves some serious celebration! I was also surprised to learn at commencement that we had 4 graduates from our program that I didn't even know about! Our college doesn't have a cut off date for graduation, you can actually submit your paperwork for a degree audit the day before the ceremony. Because of that, it's difficult for us to get a reliable headcount from the graduate office so we ask the students to notify us directly. Apparently not all of them did but it's a good thing so I can't even be mad.
The Bad:
In the midst of a week full of celebration, I also managed to completely embarrass myself. So, remember my tea guy? Well, I actually went in this week. So as he's ringing me up he says something about "lovely" - I can't remember if it was that it was lovely to see me or if he said I was looking lovely. Either way, it kinda got me a little distracted. So when he asked how I was I mumbled something about it being a typical Monday. He laughed and asked "It's Monday?" Which I took as him asking me if it was a typical Monday morning. So I respond with something about the weekend going to quick and he's just kinda looking at me strange.
I get in my car and it dawns on me - it's WEDNESDAY! I had been off work the day before and it completely threw me off - it seriously felt like Monday. So then I was embarrassed because I sounded like a complete idiot. So I decide that I have to go in the next day and explain that I was off work and it threw me off. Which I did, first thing the next morning. He wasn't at the register, he was stocking some food so I just marched up to him and explained and that actually just came across as a little weird so it didn't help my case. And on that note I think I will make my exit from that store and never return again. Okay, I can't really say never. I mean, they do have the best tea. But I think I'll take a long leave of absence at least.
The Ugly:
I had a doctors visit and discovered that the medication I've been taking hasn't been working which means another 3 months of a new medicine and I'm the worlds worst at taking medicine. So I'm crossing my fingers that this stuff works and I can go back to just remembering one pill a day. Almost as disappointing was the fact that I've only lost 3 pounds. Three stinking pounds!
Then a few days later the bathing suits I ordered online arrived. Yes, bathing suit shopping online totally works. This is the second year that I've done it and I've been really happy. Really, as long as you're honest about your measurements and they're accurate with theirs, it's easy.
So I tried them on as soon as I got home. I run down to show the hubby one of the suits and he says "Looking good. Almost got your bathing suit body back."
It was intended as a compliment, and I appreciated the support but honestly I couldn't get past the word "almost." Not that it was wrong for him to say-he was actually totally lying. I'm no where close to "almost" having a beach body. I have lumps and bumps and things hanging in ways they shouldn't.
It just made me think how far I have to go...on top of finding out I've only lost 3 pounds. It was discouraging. Which is kinda funny because it's not like I hate my body. There are things I think are okay and some things I actually kinda love.
Mostly, it's just that I'm really lazy. I don't want to work out. Ever. It takes effort for me to do it. I force myself each and every time. And to work out and be so consistent about it for nothing. It just sucks. I felt like why am I doing all this work? What's the point? So I didn't work out that night.
And the next day, I felt like crap. Physically and mentally. And then I remembered - I do hate working out. I really, really do. But I love the way I feel afterwards. In the midst of my disappointment, I kinda forgot that part.
So I dragged my tired butt out of bed and kicked started my weekend with some cardio. I may not look amazing in a swimsuit but I'm pretty sure I can just throw on a cover up and still have some fun.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
T Minus 12 Days
Two weeks from now I will be…well, I’m not really sure where I’ll actually be…but I’ll be on vacation!
A few months ago the hubby calls me up and starts asking questions about my schedule. He alluded to planning a family vacation but it kinda made me suspicious because he wasn’t actually planning. We picked a week but that was it. There was no other discussion. And that’s so not like him. This guy is a planner. Nothing in his life happens without planning. Without a timeline. Without some kind of agenda. He just doesn’t operate without a plan.
In the past we’ve done a couples vacation and a family vacation. We didn’t last year – we just took a short family vacation. That’s all we could fit in. And this year is just as busy. So in my mind, it wasn’t even a question – it’s a one vacation year.
We’ve talked quite a bit about taking the girls to Disneyland. I would like to do it while they're still pretty young. Not that it really matters – I mean, I was 14 when I went and I still thought it was cool. But I want to take them when they’re still young enough for it to be magical. I want M2 to meet Mickey Mouse and believe she’s meeting Mickey Mouse – not know that it’s really some guy in a costume. And from our discussions, I kinda thought we were going to try to do that this year.
A few weeks passed and we still hadn’t talked about vacation specifics and when I brought it up he was kinda evasive. After spending 12 years with him, he’s not that hard to figure out. He was planning something. So I knew. Well, I thought I knew. We were going to Disneyland!
But I told him, if it’s a trip that I need to prepare for, give me a heads up so I can do that. Surprises are awesome but you gotta give me a little notice. Like the year he surprised me with a weekend getaway at a fancy hotel. I thought we were going to dinner; I had no clue so I hadn’t packed anything. And he didn’t want to tip me off so he didn’t pack anything either. Not a thing. No contact solution, no toothbrush, no clean underwear. It was pretty comical. And a little bit gross.
Then last week he called me at work to tell me he had good news. It’s funny, because we’ve had a bid in on a property for over 6 months now. It’s a short sale and it’s taking forever. That's where my mind went - I automatically assumed he was calling to tell me we had gotten the house. Nope, he had called to tell me that he had indeed planned something for vacation. Surprise!
But it actually was a surprise because since it was our 10 year anniversary, it’s a special trip just for us. Which I totally didn’t think we were doing. The only thing I know about this vacation is that I need a swimsuit. Which just goes to show that he knows me too because there is no place I would rather be than on a beach.
So I'm super excited. And anxious to find out where we'll end up. Vacation countdown begins now!
A few months ago the hubby calls me up and starts asking questions about my schedule. He alluded to planning a family vacation but it kinda made me suspicious because he wasn’t actually planning. We picked a week but that was it. There was no other discussion. And that’s so not like him. This guy is a planner. Nothing in his life happens without planning. Without a timeline. Without some kind of agenda. He just doesn’t operate without a plan.
In the past we’ve done a couples vacation and a family vacation. We didn’t last year – we just took a short family vacation. That’s all we could fit in. And this year is just as busy. So in my mind, it wasn’t even a question – it’s a one vacation year.
We’ve talked quite a bit about taking the girls to Disneyland. I would like to do it while they're still pretty young. Not that it really matters – I mean, I was 14 when I went and I still thought it was cool. But I want to take them when they’re still young enough for it to be magical. I want M2 to meet Mickey Mouse and believe she’s meeting Mickey Mouse – not know that it’s really some guy in a costume. And from our discussions, I kinda thought we were going to try to do that this year.
A few weeks passed and we still hadn’t talked about vacation specifics and when I brought it up he was kinda evasive. After spending 12 years with him, he’s not that hard to figure out. He was planning something. So I knew. Well, I thought I knew. We were going to Disneyland!
But I told him, if it’s a trip that I need to prepare for, give me a heads up so I can do that. Surprises are awesome but you gotta give me a little notice. Like the year he surprised me with a weekend getaway at a fancy hotel. I thought we were going to dinner; I had no clue so I hadn’t packed anything. And he didn’t want to tip me off so he didn’t pack anything either. Not a thing. No contact solution, no toothbrush, no clean underwear. It was pretty comical. And a little bit gross.
Then last week he called me at work to tell me he had good news. It’s funny, because we’ve had a bid in on a property for over 6 months now. It’s a short sale and it’s taking forever. That's where my mind went - I automatically assumed he was calling to tell me we had gotten the house. Nope, he had called to tell me that he had indeed planned something for vacation. Surprise!
But it actually was a surprise because since it was our 10 year anniversary, it’s a special trip just for us. Which I totally didn’t think we were doing. The only thing I know about this vacation is that I need a swimsuit. Which just goes to show that he knows me too because there is no place I would rather be than on a beach.
So I'm super excited. And anxious to find out where we'll end up. Vacation countdown begins now!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Let's Get Physical
Well, it’s that time of year - summer is almost upon us. This means lots of sun, lots of fun, and a lot more skin. Not too much skin for me because I just can’t pull off the whole hooker look. Trust me, I’ve tried and the only thing it got me was an invitation from a guy named Bubba to visit his trailer of love. And clearly, that wasn’t happenin.
And while it isn’t entirely related to the prospect of summer, I have been SO good about working out lately. I’ve hit the gym every day for the past 4 weeks - with the exception of last week and that was just crazy because between meetings and lunch dates I didn’t go AT ALL. I’m not doing anything major – just walking but I’m getting in 2.5 miles every day. And that’s movement my body wasn’t getting before.
I’ve also been working out at home – strength training and cardio rotation. I’ve tried to do it every night but I’ve missed a few here and there. But I’ve been much more consistent than I have been in a long, long time.
So this is progress folks! My body hasn’t changed at all - actually, that’s not true. I’ve gotten some nice new dimples in the back of my thighs. Apparently my cellulite has quadrupled. I’m not sure if it’s true but someone told me that happens sometimes when you start working out – the muscle you build underneath pushes the fat out. If that’s true, I hope the muscle keeps on pushing until all those cute little dimples are gone.
So my body hasn’t changed for the better but I feel healthier and stronger and know it’s good for me. Plus, being physical totally makes me feel hot and that's a win for everybody.
And while it isn’t entirely related to the prospect of summer, I have been SO good about working out lately. I’ve hit the gym every day for the past 4 weeks - with the exception of last week and that was just crazy because between meetings and lunch dates I didn’t go AT ALL. I’m not doing anything major – just walking but I’m getting in 2.5 miles every day. And that’s movement my body wasn’t getting before.
I’ve also been working out at home – strength training and cardio rotation. I’ve tried to do it every night but I’ve missed a few here and there. But I’ve been much more consistent than I have been in a long, long time.
So this is progress folks! My body hasn’t changed at all - actually, that’s not true. I’ve gotten some nice new dimples in the back of my thighs. Apparently my cellulite has quadrupled. I’m not sure if it’s true but someone told me that happens sometimes when you start working out – the muscle you build underneath pushes the fat out. If that’s true, I hope the muscle keeps on pushing until all those cute little dimples are gone.
So my body hasn’t changed for the better but I feel healthier and stronger and know it’s good for me. Plus, being physical totally makes me feel hot and that's a win for everybody.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Put Me In Coach
Lord help me, I have got to be one of the worst sports Moms in history.
I just have a terrible attitude. About everything.
Seriously, it's TBALL. Why should anything matter at this point, right? Right?
I've just been super frustrated with our coach. Which I think is like rule number 1 in the code of good sportsmanship - always respect the coach. And I am respectful. I mean, I would never actually say any of the things that are floating through my mind. That's respectful, right? Kinda?
And I'm not even talking about the fact that she slapped her husband's company logo right on the middle of our team shirts. Which would be fine if he was sponsoring our team. That I would completely understand. But he isn't. So basically, you just took this as an opportunity to have a bunch of people buy shirts to promote his construction company.
No, what I'm frustrated with is the lack of direction and guidance provided to the team. They need instruction, consistency, leadership. They need a coach!
They need practice. And when you spend 38 minutes (yes I actually timed it) of a one hour practice lining them up in the outfield, then realigning them, and then lining them up again...well, they don't actually get to practice. Listen, I know we want them to build good skills. But these girls are 3-6 years old. They stand still for like 10 nanoseconds. So just get them in the general direction and let's go! While we still have a sliver of their attention!
I know I should have a better attitude. Our coach is a volunteer and I should be grateful that she's taking time out of her life to coach our team. I know this, I do. But it's just SO hard.
So this is a good opportunity for me to practice grace. I've worked really hard at keeping my facial expressions clear so what I'm thinking isn't obvious to everyone else. I'm not saying I've perfected that, I just said I was working really hard at it...
And I've managed to avoid talking about the coach to the other moms. Although, I didn't exactly disagree the other day when a few of the moms were venting about the same frustrations I have. But I've also decided that I'm not sitting next to them at the next game. Not because I don't like them but simply because I don't trust myself enough to keep my mouth shut. Because I know, no matter how I feel, I can't talk about the coach.
Until I get home and put the kids to bed. Then it's on.
I just have a terrible attitude. About everything.
Seriously, it's TBALL. Why should anything matter at this point, right? Right?
I've just been super frustrated with our coach. Which I think is like rule number 1 in the code of good sportsmanship - always respect the coach. And I am respectful. I mean, I would never actually say any of the things that are floating through my mind. That's respectful, right? Kinda?
And I'm not even talking about the fact that she slapped her husband's company logo right on the middle of our team shirts. Which would be fine if he was sponsoring our team. That I would completely understand. But he isn't. So basically, you just took this as an opportunity to have a bunch of people buy shirts to promote his construction company.
No, what I'm frustrated with is the lack of direction and guidance provided to the team. They need instruction, consistency, leadership. They need a coach!
They need practice. And when you spend 38 minutes (yes I actually timed it) of a one hour practice lining them up in the outfield, then realigning them, and then lining them up again...well, they don't actually get to practice. Listen, I know we want them to build good skills. But these girls are 3-6 years old. They stand still for like 10 nanoseconds. So just get them in the general direction and let's go! While we still have a sliver of their attention!
I know I should have a better attitude. Our coach is a volunteer and I should be grateful that she's taking time out of her life to coach our team. I know this, I do. But it's just SO hard.
So this is a good opportunity for me to practice grace. I've worked really hard at keeping my facial expressions clear so what I'm thinking isn't obvious to everyone else. I'm not saying I've perfected that, I just said I was working really hard at it...
And I've managed to avoid talking about the coach to the other moms. Although, I didn't exactly disagree the other day when a few of the moms were venting about the same frustrations I have. But I've also decided that I'm not sitting next to them at the next game. Not because I don't like them but simply because I don't trust myself enough to keep my mouth shut. Because I know, no matter how I feel, I can't talk about the coach.
Until I get home and put the kids to bed. Then it's on.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Sweet Little Lies
It’s the middle of the week, the sun is shining and I’m in a great mood. Which means I’m feeling kinda fun. So I thought I would take advantage of this opportunity to share some wisdom with the opposite sex.
What I’ve decided is that women want to be lied to. We aren’t going to tell you that and won’t admit it, but it’s true. We want you to lie to us. Not about anything related to sneaking around or cheating – that’s in a different category completely - but about pretty much everything else.
We want to believe that you think we are the smartest, funniest, sexiest woman that you’ve ever met. We want to think you’ve never meet anyone as interesting, entertaining, or fascinating. We want to think that we rock your world and turn you on at all times. We want to believe that our stories never get old, our quirks don’t become annoying, and you aren’t turned off by seeing us in frumpy comfy clothes all the time.
Guys, you’re only job is to make us feel that we are the only ones exceptional enough to capture your attention. That’s it. And if that means lying to us to make us feel that way, then so be it. Lie, lie and lie some more.
Judging from my experience though, this is harder than it sounds. Not the lying part - no, the guys I've known had that down quite well. They just lied about the wrong things.
And while I can’t tell you exactly what lies will make your girl feel special, I can tell you exactly what you should never say. Some or all of the following may have been uttered to me at some point. Some or all of said utterances may have resulted in severe physical damage to the idiot uttering them.
1. She's your sister? But she's...hot.
2. I don't really like women to have short hair. *said to a woman with short hair
3. We can get your boobs fixed.
4. You're still hungry?
5. You’re not my usual type.
6. If you worked out a little, you would have a great body.
7. Sex? Naw, not tonight.
8. That makes your pouch look big.
9. What happened to your hair?
10. You’re just like your mother.
11. You must be on your period.
12. I never would have dated you in high school.
13. You’re not wearing that, are you?
14. My ex was better at ____________. *No, no, no. You're ex was never better at anything. EVER.
What I’ve decided is that women want to be lied to. We aren’t going to tell you that and won’t admit it, but it’s true. We want you to lie to us. Not about anything related to sneaking around or cheating – that’s in a different category completely - but about pretty much everything else.
We want to believe that you think we are the smartest, funniest, sexiest woman that you’ve ever met. We want to think you’ve never meet anyone as interesting, entertaining, or fascinating. We want to think that we rock your world and turn you on at all times. We want to believe that our stories never get old, our quirks don’t become annoying, and you aren’t turned off by seeing us in frumpy comfy clothes all the time.
Guys, you’re only job is to make us feel that we are the only ones exceptional enough to capture your attention. That’s it. And if that means lying to us to make us feel that way, then so be it. Lie, lie and lie some more.
Judging from my experience though, this is harder than it sounds. Not the lying part - no, the guys I've known had that down quite well. They just lied about the wrong things.
And while I can’t tell you exactly what lies will make your girl feel special, I can tell you exactly what you should never say. Some or all of the following may have been uttered to me at some point. Some or all of said utterances may have resulted in severe physical damage to the idiot uttering them.
1. She's your sister? But she's...hot.
2. I don't really like women to have short hair. *said to a woman with short hair
3. We can get your boobs fixed.
4. You're still hungry?
5. You’re not my usual type.
6. If you worked out a little, you would have a great body.
7. Sex? Naw, not tonight.
8. That makes your pouch look big.
9. What happened to your hair?
10. You’re just like your mother.
11. You must be on your period.
12. I never would have dated you in high school.
13. You’re not wearing that, are you?
14. My ex was better at ____________. *No, no, no. You're ex was never better at anything. EVER.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Tea Time
I'm kinda bummed.
I think I'm gonna have to find a new convenient store.
I'm picky about my tea. Even more so now that I drink unsweet - there isn't any sugar to make it taste better, it has to be good tea. So there is one place that has tea that I like. One. And I go just about every morning.
One of the guys there has started giving me a small discount - charging me for a refill and not a new drink. He doesn't do it every time but he does it a lot, even when I tell him not too. I'm like, stop doing that! One, it just makes me feel bad. Not that it's even that much difference - I think maybe ten cents. But it's the point - it's kinda like stealing. Not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but charge me the same price as you are everybody else in line.
Secondly, I don't want him to get in trouble for doing it. Every time I say "No, this is a new drink." - I say it loud where anyone can hear me. I don't do that to get him in trouble but it's not like we're in cahoots together. I'm not trying to be part of this. But still, I would hate for him to get in trouble. I don't know, maybe he's the manager or something because he seems to be pretty fearless about it. Or maybe he just knows they won't fire him over such a small thing...either way, I think I'm more worried about it than he is.
But most of all I just don't like that he's so nice to me. I know that doesn't make any sense. I'm sure they consider me a regular so he feels like he should be extra friendly - I know that's part of how they get people coming back in. But I just want to go in, get my tea and leave without being noticed. I don't know, he's too interested in what I've got going on and he remembers things I say. Which typically would be a good thing - remembering what people tells you shows that you're genuinely interested and that what you say is important to them. Typically that would be major bonus points. But in this case, I don't like it.
I'm not sure I'm vain enough to think he likes me. Don't get me wrong, I am vain. Typically this behavior would warrant a phone call to the bestie declaring "Oh my gosh - he was SO hitting on me." which she gets quite frequently because I always assume interest equals interest. All these poor guys out there just being friendly have no idea how I'm spinning that into something different in my head.
But I'm not getting that vibe. This vibe is just super nice convenient store guy who is ruining my morning mojo with his friendliness...
I think I'm gonna have to find a new convenient store.
I'm picky about my tea. Even more so now that I drink unsweet - there isn't any sugar to make it taste better, it has to be good tea. So there is one place that has tea that I like. One. And I go just about every morning.
One of the guys there has started giving me a small discount - charging me for a refill and not a new drink. He doesn't do it every time but he does it a lot, even when I tell him not too. I'm like, stop doing that! One, it just makes me feel bad. Not that it's even that much difference - I think maybe ten cents. But it's the point - it's kinda like stealing. Not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but charge me the same price as you are everybody else in line.
Secondly, I don't want him to get in trouble for doing it. Every time I say "No, this is a new drink." - I say it loud where anyone can hear me. I don't do that to get him in trouble but it's not like we're in cahoots together. I'm not trying to be part of this. But still, I would hate for him to get in trouble. I don't know, maybe he's the manager or something because he seems to be pretty fearless about it. Or maybe he just knows they won't fire him over such a small thing...either way, I think I'm more worried about it than he is.
But most of all I just don't like that he's so nice to me. I know that doesn't make any sense. I'm sure they consider me a regular so he feels like he should be extra friendly - I know that's part of how they get people coming back in. But I just want to go in, get my tea and leave without being noticed. I don't know, he's too interested in what I've got going on and he remembers things I say. Which typically would be a good thing - remembering what people tells you shows that you're genuinely interested and that what you say is important to them. Typically that would be major bonus points. But in this case, I don't like it.
I'm not sure I'm vain enough to think he likes me. Don't get me wrong, I am vain. Typically this behavior would warrant a phone call to the bestie declaring "Oh my gosh - he was SO hitting on me." which she gets quite frequently because I always assume interest equals interest. All these poor guys out there just being friendly have no idea how I'm spinning that into something different in my head.
But I'm not getting that vibe. This vibe is just super nice convenient store guy who is ruining my morning mojo with his friendliness...
Monday, April 22, 2013
Make It Count
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. ~Gandhi
That quote really represents what I was trying to express in my last post. Only so much more eloquently. And I believe that, with all my heart I believe that.
It doesn't, however, make the events of last week any easier. The Boston bombing, the West explosion, the anniversary of the OKC bombing. So much loss.
And last week I was informed of the deaths of two of my students. Two in one week. I've worked in these programs for 10 years and I've never lost a student so it was shocking. The events surrounding the deaths are especially troubling - one was violently murdered and there is a mystery surrounding the nature of death for the other. This is especially troubling because this student had a long history of domestic abuse so I fear her end was just as horrific. It's always, always difficult but to end in such a violent way...it's really hard for me to get over.
I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older but it seems like each day I grow more and more aware of how short our time really is. The last few months it seems there have been a series of losses- back to back we've all gone through it. My FIL, the next month a friend lost his mother and then this past weekend my hubby was out of town to attend the funeral of a friend who lost his sister.
It was a rough week.
So I used the weekend to fill my life with fun and memories and goodness. I needed a break from all things somber and sad. Girl time, parades & carnivals, and a lot of time laughing. Not to forget the sadness but to remember the lessons it brings - make every day count.
That quote really represents what I was trying to express in my last post. Only so much more eloquently. And I believe that, with all my heart I believe that.
It doesn't, however, make the events of last week any easier. The Boston bombing, the West explosion, the anniversary of the OKC bombing. So much loss.
And last week I was informed of the deaths of two of my students. Two in one week. I've worked in these programs for 10 years and I've never lost a student so it was shocking. The events surrounding the deaths are especially troubling - one was violently murdered and there is a mystery surrounding the nature of death for the other. This is especially troubling because this student had a long history of domestic abuse so I fear her end was just as horrific. It's always, always difficult but to end in such a violent way...it's really hard for me to get over.
I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older but it seems like each day I grow more and more aware of how short our time really is. The last few months it seems there have been a series of losses- back to back we've all gone through it. My FIL, the next month a friend lost his mother and then this past weekend my hubby was out of town to attend the funeral of a friend who lost his sister.
It was a rough week.
So I used the weekend to fill my life with fun and memories and goodness. I needed a break from all things somber and sad. Girl time, parades & carnivals, and a lot of time laughing. Not to forget the sadness but to remember the lessons it brings - make every day count.
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