Shut It

So like I said yesterday, the husband isn't the only one who needs to reconsider what we share...

I should probably just stop talking about him completely because it always seems to comes out wrong or weird and totally makes him seem like an ass about 90% of the time. And that's never my intention. Well, usually not my intention....okay, sometimes that's my exact intention.

So some girlfriends and I are planning to take an exotic dance class.  I'm so super excited about it and can't wait!  We were discussing it when I shared that if I danced for him he would totally laugh at me. And he would. He actually started laughing just when I told him I was doing it.

And you know, it didn't seem that bad until I tried to explain it. It totally made it sound like he's not into me...and he is. I've got him completely brainwashed so he thinks I'm hot and sexy.  So it isn't that he doesn't want me - he does. He just doesn't see me that way.  Even though I'm not sure what that way even means...

See?  See how this sounds all kinds of jacked up?  So now his friends think I'm some sort of violent psychopath and my friends think he's some frigid purist. Perfect.

Something that really is true about him is that he's the hardest person ever to buy presents for.  I kinda pride myself on being a good gift-giver. I try really hard to pay attention to little details and pick up on clues so that my gifts are thoughtful and personal. 

I can never do that with him because whenever he wants something, he just goes and buys it!  For Christmas he wanted a hunting rifle so he went out and bought one. But no worries, I could give him the money and that would be my "present" to him.  Then he decided he wanted a scope to go with the gun.  So I tucked that away and planned to surprise him for his birthday. Nope, a few weeks after Christmas one was delivered - he had already ordered it! And giving someone cash for a present they bought themselves just isn't very fun...

So his 40th birthday is this week. That's a huge milestone and I wanted to do something to really make it special.  He's not into parties - that's more my thing - so that was out.  I seriously almost threw him one anyway but then it struck me - if he's not into it, how is that special for him?  Just because I feel like that's the standard thing to do?

And there really isn't anything he's been wanting that I could surprise him with. So I've been super bummed that I'm letting this special day go without enough recognition. Until I got a text about eye surgery - and that was it!

I'm getting his eyes fixed for his birthday!  No more glasses for that guy! We go on Friday for his consult to make sure he's a candidate for the surgery. But I'm so excited for him. And jealous - I want mine done too!  Of course, I'll be celebrating the big 4-0 on a few years...maybe I'll put that on my list!

Dangerous Games

Two days in a row!  Look at me! I told you I was going to get better...

The other day hubby and I engaged in a dangerous game - we each said the first three adjectives that came to mind to describe the other person. No thinking, just the first thing that popped into our heads.  My adjectives for the him were "logical, stable, secure". His adjectives for me were "emotional, high energy and violent." Violent?  Really? Meee?

Of course, I immediately demanded examples of such violence. When? When have I been violent? I'm not violent! When have I ever been violent?

Oookay. One time. Geez, swing a paddle in the general direction of a chick splashing water on you immediately after you've instructed her not to and suddenly, you're labeled violent for life. And I don't even see how that can count because I didn't make contact. Now, if I had bopped her over the head like I wanted to, that would be violent.

So the hubby starts back-peddling, trying to do some quick clean up. Well, you know...sometimes you get worked up, a little bit carried away...come on, you know you're my little spit-fire and I love it. You're just...passionate. Yeah, that's it - passionate, that's really what I meant.

I guess he felt like he needed to do some damage control because he was a little scared of my reaction. You know, because I'm all violent and stuff.

So that weekend we had dinner with some friends. We don't get to see them as often as we like and when we do get together, we all usually have kids. So this was a nice adults-only night out. It was going great. We had dinner, had some drinks. 

I could see the hubby getting more and more relaxed.  Which is something he doesn't do often - the guy is wound pretty tight. I could tell because the more relaxed he became, the worse his language got and the more he started talking. So we're talking, we're laughing, we're having fun - it's all good.

Then our game came up. I'm not sure how or why.

And it really is true that alcohol makes you brave because suddenly the boy had no fear.  It was back to violent, not this passionate stuff he tried to feed me earlier.
Of course, they were adequately shocked.  Amber violent? When? When has she been violent? She's not violent! When has she ever been violent?

Then of course, he tells them the paddle story.  But not the paddle story, his paddle story.  Which was SO not like it really happened. Because according to his story, I'm floating down the river, perched like a python, ready to strike - searching for an innocent victim to unleash my wrath upon.

But they know me, so they weren't buying any of it...Then suddenly, before I knew what was happening,  it became all about me. And the next thing I know, he’s telling them a bunch of other stories and other things about me that could have been left unsaid. I mean, it was all in fun spirit but seriously, I know how these things work.  We’re all laughing about it and it’s funny until they get in the car and then it becomes Can you believe that? So yeah, we don’t need everyone to know everything.  Especially when at the end of the night I was pretty sure we had successfully ensured that they would never want to hang out with us again.

It’s okay though, tomorrow I'll tell you what I did to him...

Hello Monday!

Okay, no more whining.  I'm done; I've got it out of my system. I'm moving forward with a good attitude and focusing on the fact that despite the staffing circumstances, I'm still able to provide for my students and maintain our program. And that's the most important thing.

Had conference last week. Always a good time. Always. Love, love, love my friends. I really am such a lucky girl to have such awesome people in my life. I know I say that all the time but really, it's true. Just a great group of people. So awesome to get to work with them.

Love these girls!

One of many photo booth surprises... What happens at hospitality stays at hospitality!

Sooner girls!

Apparently I don't know the difference between gansta face and duck face...

My peeps...gansta patrol

And so talented - watched two of them pull together an entire conference and never break stride. Never panicked, stayed calm and focused throughout everything.  Not me, I'm always in serious freak-out mode. It's just how I operate - like the Tasmanian Devil - I get all worked up and run around like crazy. I think it's probably a lot for others to deal with. I do always pull it together when it's time to go on though.  When that time comes, I take a deep breath, put a smile on my face and go!  No one is going to know about the panic except the people behind the scenes - I make sure about that.

But I do kinda stay high strung all the time.  In fact, during the banquet one of the presenters was gracious enough to recognize me and he said something about me having  more energy than anyone he's ever met.  That was really a nice way to say I'm high strung.

I had a pretty decent Newcomers session. I was a little worried that it was too much information, not enough activity.  I had some unexpected speakers that threw off my agenda...but at least the participants got some exposure to some people besides me. That's always nice. I'll adjust for next year and build in those kind of surprises. So less talking and more playing.

Hospitality was okay. Not the kind of turn out I had hoped for - it's just a challenge hosting in OKC. The local people don't get to stay at the hotel and the people from out of town want to go out and explore Bricktown. It was fun, just wish more people would have made it. The photo booth was a hit. Unfortunately, someone broke what I imagine to be a pretty expensive prop. And guess who got to go explain that one? They were very gracious about it but still, it sucked. It was kinda like telling Mom and Dad you wrecked the car...And then when I was cleaning up afterwards, I found another broken piece. So they donated their machine and their time and we tore up their stuff - nice.

The actual conference was great. One of the best that I can remember. The speakers were all relevant and entertaining and it had a nice flow - the program didn't ever lag. I do feel bad because I  missed concurrent sessions.  This was the first time ever that I've done that.  But I had a meeting that I had to attend and then I got tied up so I wasn't able to make it.

To add to the greatness of conference, I also got free parking for my entire stay! Which was completely awesome because that was $26 a day coming out of my own pocket.  When I went to the loading dock to drop off all my stuff  the guy on duty told me and my friend we could park in the reserved spots. He also told us we looked like we knew how to have fun and he could tell we were a wild group. Then he looked directly at me, eye-balled me up and down and said especially you. That's the first time I've gotten free parking for coming off slutty. Although I'm not sure what was so 'wild' about me. The two car seats in the back of the car? Or the way I carried my luggage so provocatively? Not that I'm complaining- think anything you want about me if parking is free. Especially since the last time someone told me I had a slutty air I ended up dating him... so yeah, I think free parking was a win for everyone.

Somehow along the way I hurt my neck. It's gotten progressively worse and has been a pretty big pain in the butt.  I'm not a big fan of medicine so I usually try to tough it out. Drives my husband crazy but I just feel like if I can deal with it, I'll deal with it - I don't need to take anything.  But the last few days I've been popping asprin like crazy. That's how bad it hurts.  I have no idea what I did to it either...I promise, my head-banging days are long gone.

Sore neck or not, I'm still energized from the conference and ready to knock this day out. With a smile! And a few asprin...

Drowning

I'm here, I'm here - really, I am.

I'm just a little bit...overwhelmed.

My only other full-time person decided not to return from maternity leave. Super cool for her, super sucks for me.  On a personal level, I'm excited for her but on a professional level I'm disappointed that I was told only 2 weeks before her return date.  I've gone the entire semester with an empty position, which could have been filled months ago had I known she wasn't returning. I just feel like I deserved a little more courtesy than that.

But I get it - why give up the paycheck and the benefits until you absolutely have to, right? Our institution doesn't have a policy against it (my former institution you had 30 days to decide) so...

Aaaand one of my part-timers is leaving. So next week it will be me and two part-time people...right in time for our busiest enrollment period. Good times.

Keep me in your thoughts because I'm going to need all the good energy I can find, I'm quickly depleting mine.

Holding on and trying not to drown...

Trails & Tears

We lost two tenants in February. 

It's never great when someone moves out - it means time and money.  Even if the place looks good, there is always update maintenance that needs to be done. And since we're weekenders, it takes us longer because our time is so limited.

So two empty houses at one time really sucks.

One of the tenants had only been with us a little over a year. Her new husband got a job out of town so they're off to start their new life.  She was great - always paid on time and her house was in great shape. That was just some touch up paint and a little cleaning. We got it ready and rented before the end of the month. Sweet!

The other house is a completely different story. The family lived there for about 6 years and were spotty with their rent. It was always kinda shady - the husband would act surprised when we called asking for rent and claim the wife had told him it was paid. Not sure if that was part of the tactic or if it was the truth. We began to suspect the wife had some kind of..."issue" because every time we went over the kids (one still in diapers) would be outside playing unsupervised and she would be asleep. Every time. A few years ago she won $20,000 from the casino (we felt lucky too because they paid several months in advance) so we know she gambled.  Not sure if she gambled all night and slept all day or was into drugs. Somethin.

So we knew that house was going to be a beast but we never imagined what we found. This was the nastiest house I have ever seen.  Kinda surprising too because they appeared to be clean. The husband was in the military so I thought he would be a little rigid about housekeeping.  Apparently he was not.

The floors:
These are real hardwood, not laminate. They used to be really pretty.


In this picture, we had ALREADY scraped off layers of gum! LAYERS!  

The kitchen:
I have never seen a kitchen SO gross. This is where your food is made...shouldn't that warrant maybe cleaning every once in a while?

The grout was originally off-white, see the spot I cleaned?

 

The back door, off the kitchen.
 

But none of that filth was anything compared to the worst...

The roaches:

Roaches! We haven't seen any roaches. Alive,anyway - we've found a ton of dead ones. The house has a distinct chemical smell too so we can only assume in a misguided effort to "clean" they sprayed the house. What we have found was roach poop. Everywhere. 

And I really mean that. 

Trails of it EVERYWHERE.

 

This is a KITCHEN cabinet! Disgusting!

 

You know those wall stickers that are really popular now? Apparently, they're even popular with roaches...

Family. A family of roach poop.

I'll spare you the other roach poo pictures. 

 

We've spent the last two weekends just cleaning this crap up. It really stinks too because usually when we work on houses we bring the kids and let them play outside but this house was too gross. No way I was gonna let my babies in there!  

 

Next we've got to get it fumigated and painted. We're looking at another 3 weekends of work, at least. I'll also make sure to post updated photos after we're done. Which cannot be done soon enough!

Laptops & Lent

My laptop crashed. Totally died. I went to boot up a few weeks ago and nothin. That partly explains why I haven't blogged in a while.

It also explains why my house has been cleaner the last few weeks than it usually is...interesting how that works.

I've been crazy busy at work. Not just busy but CRAZY busy. That's were you don't get to pee for about two hours because you literally have so much to do that you don't want to step away. I should seriously consider putting bodily functions as a priority on my list...

Bathroom breaks aren't the only challenges I've been experiencing. I gave up soda for Lent.  Way harder than I thought it would be.  I am so struggling. And it doesn't help that the other day, in a particular moment of weakness, hubby encouraged me to go ahead and have one. In response to my resistance, he grabbed a coke from the fridge and slowly popped it open. Right in front of me. The cruelty!

And I swear, that boy has been drinking soda now than he ever has.  I think just because he knows I can't have any...or maybe it's just my heightened awareness. I promise you, I can hear him open the can from across the house. Yep, this addiction is no joke. Can you say highly addictive personality?  Thank goodness I never got into smoking or anything worse - there would be no hope for me.

So it's been hard.

And that's the entire point.  I really do believe it's meant to be tough. On Fat Tuesday I was explaining Lenten season to the girls and I stressed that you have to give up something difficult or something meaningful. And when it gets tough, you think about how God sacrificed his only son, how Jesus sacrificed his life. Giving up a soda, well, suddenly it doesn't seem like so much.

I was really touched because M asked me what I was giving up and when I told her she said she would give up soda too. Well, we don't really let her drink soda.

Isn't that so hypocritical? I've always sucking down a pop but I rarely let them drink it.

So then M thought for a minute, realizing it wasn't much of a sacrifice, and decided that she would also give up candy.  She doesn't get that too often either but she loves candy, so that was a big deal. And I really didn't expect her to participate, I was just trying to educate them. Her heart is amazing.

Both their hearts, really but M2 is still a little too young to understand. After watching big sister, she volunteered to give up her beloved blanket. This has been her nightly companion since she was brought home from the hospital. It is her most cherished possession.

Within two seconds of offering it up, she realized what that would mean and quickly changed her mind. She was, however, willing to sacrificed her pillow. She has a multitude of pillows on her bed - a Stuffie, a Pillow Pet, a mini Pillow Pet and a ginormous Hello Kitty body pillow.  I ran through each pillow - nope, nope, nope. The girl was adamant that she give up her regular pillow...which she has slept on every night since Fat Tuesday.

So M are in this together, keeping each other in check. And counting down the days until Easter!

Patience, Parties & Pretty Teeth

I learned a valuable lesson this weekend. Kids need to be pilot tested before they are allowed to sleep over! 

I let M have a friend sleep over and it didn't end well.  Everything was fine until bed time and then it just fell apart. I had a crying kid and no response from the parent.

Even though I had sent a text earlier explaining she seemed kind of nervous about spending the night. But let me pause here to explain she only seemed nervous after she asked me to move a tv into M's room so she could watch tv until she fell asleep and I said no. After that little warning, I reached out to the responsible party and asked for directions on how they wanted it handled if she got upset.

Then when it happened I called and got nothin.

The kid cried for almost two hours. I was like, look I would love to take you home but I can't get a hold of anyone and I can't just drop you off at the doorstep, so we're both kinda stuck.

Deep breath.

I really was trying to muster all the patience that I had and I was trying to be sympathetic to the girl. I know she was upset, I understand it's a new place and it can be scary.  In the meantime, I've got my kid whining and carrying on because she's tired and just wants to sleep, another kid crying and I'm going crazy because it all seems to be out of my control.

After multiple calls to two different people, I finally got a call back.  It was close to midnight when I drug her out and delivered her to Mom.

So no more slumber parties for me!

At least no more slumber parties with kiddos. Because I went to a grown-up slumber party the other day and that was awesome. I had so much fun -  I can't remember the last time I laughed so much.

 

The girls

 

The lady of the hour

My "cup" buddy!
 

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What? It's not suppose to fit this way?

All good games have fun accessories, right?





And the slumber party isn't the only good thing that's happened lately!

 Last week I spent the morning looking like this:

 

 

And by the afternoon, I looked like this:

I'm done with the braces!!! Can't tell you how ready I was or how happy I am to get that metal off my teeth! 

Although I have to admit, it took me a minute to adjust. Immediately after I was really, really upset because it seemed like I had a huge overbite.  All I could think was that I seriously jacked up my teeth.  Now that I've settled into it I don't see the overbite.

As much.

And in case you don't remember, here's what caused me to get braces in the first place:

Yeah, think I would rather have a slight overbite...