From The Mouths Of Babes

I took M2 shopping with me tonight.

Yes, an actual night off cheer. Not on off night for cheer but an off night for me - hubby filled in. That was really nice because I've been doing it on my own. Which is partly why I am so bummed by the increase in practice days - because I've been (and will be for a while) playing the part of married single Mom. Not that he isn't willing to help, but he's been busy with a new house. And it's a doozie.

Normally, I try not to see them before they are renovated. Or at least in some stage of renovation. Because it just kinda stresses me out. Even though I really don't have to do anything, just seeing how much work needs to be done scares me.  Take a look at this and you'll totally understand what I mean.

It needs a little TLC but it's not too bad, right?
But wait - there's more!

And that is by no means the worse house we've bought. In fact, on a scale of 1-10 of bad shape homes it's probably about a 6. And that's because it's sagging in the middle. Because who doesn't like a house that's caving in?

So we've both figured out that it works best if I just don't see them. And honestly, the whole investment property business is really his thing - I just kind of show up when I need to. Literally. At the closing I was just signing documents without even reading them. Not because I don't care but because he handles all that - he negotiates closing cost, fees and reviews everything and I know he's got us covered.  We've worked with the same realtor and lender for years so they're used to us and know how we operate but there was a new person at this last closing and she was visibly shocked to discover that I had never even seen the house. But trust me, if I saw them before they were bought, we probably wouldn't be buying them at all.

So husband offered to do cheer duty tonight and there was no way I was passing that up. I used the time do a little shopping with M2. As I'm taking off my clothes she says "Those are pretty Mom." - referring to my undergarments.  And just as I'm thinking awww, how sweet, she looks me up and down and says, really kinda sassy-like, complete with head bob "Girl, you need to go on a diet."

Yes. From my 5 year old.

Now, I'm certain, from the way she said it, that she was simply mimicking something she heard. Because she doesn't normally address me as "girl". Or tell me to diet.

So I said, "A diet? Why would I go on a diet?"  And really, that was my mistake because you should never, ever ask a question you don't really want answered.

"Because you're fat!"

Thank you child, for shredding every bit of my self esteem.

But of course, I'm shaping young minds here so I responded with "I'm not fat!  I love my body!" Which is mostly true.  Okay, "love" may be a little strong but...I don't hate it.

"Cause your belly-it's big!"

And with that, the clothes went back on and I promptly ended that little shopping trip.

Cheer Not

Let me preface this by saying that if you haven't already discovered that I'm critical and judgmental then this must be your first time reading my blog.  And if you're returning then I'm gonna make the assumption that you simply choose to ignore and/or forgive that little fact. And that you'll also be  prepared for the judginess I have going on below...

I am cheered out.

I spend cheer practices walking around the track.  The other moms sit in clusters and chat but I've never joined them. I know it makes me look snobby or unfriendly or antisocial but I don't care - I have no interest in any of that. Partly because I'm just not interested in making new friends.  I know that sounds bad, but I'm not. My life is full of people that I adore and value and I don't have enough time (or energy, really) to add any more.  My friendship cup is full.

So yeah, I get it doesn't have to be deep. We're talking cheer mom chats, not life-long confidants, right?  But that's the other part - I'm just not into that whole "cheer mom" mentality. In fact, it wears me out. The other day I made a classic mistake. This month all the squads wore pink bows in support of breast cancer awareness so during half-time I casually leaned over and asked one of the moms (who had made bows for us before) if she made the pink bows. I was really just making small talk. I thought she would say yes, I would tell her they looked great and that would be that.

No.

As soon as I asked, she pounced.  She immediately slid up two rows, sat right next to me and exclaimed NO! She didn't make those bows, those bows were horrible. She was embarrassed to wear them, blah, blah, blah, blah... And she kept looking at me all expectantly - waiting to see my outrage over the bad bows. Which looked identical to the bows she has made, by the way.   And the entire tirade was because some other mom made the bows. Yep, she was bent out of shape because another woman had the audacity to cut some ribbon and use a glue gun. When she said "I'm the bow maker of this squad!" I knew I was done. For good. 

I'm telling you - cheer moms are not like other sport moms. I get being into your kids activities, but this is a whole new level. I'm talking moms shelling out almost $50 for a "Cheer Mom" jacket...and it's 4th grade cheer! It just reeks of women desperate to find their identities through their kids. Hey, hey! Look at me!  I'm a CHEER MOM! Good for you, you gave birth and paid a fee to have your kid memorize a chant and jump around during touchdowns. Hooray for you!

And this is horrible but I also find one of the coaches extremely annoying too.  Every time I walk by and hear her squeaky little voice I say a little thank you that she isn't our coach. I may inadvertently roll my eyes too. The voice, the prancing, the bobbing ponytail - it's all too much. I mean, she's the kind of woman that wears bows in her hair - and not just to cheer practice. And I'm certain she has stuffed animals on her bed too.

Our coach, however, rocks. She is the total opposite -she's hardcore and intense and very serious. But she also thinks cheerleading is all that matters.  We started out with two practices a week - like all the other squads. We're giving up two nights a week and every Saturday, but that's part of it. We're committed to the team. Let's do this!  

Then she added an extra 45 minutes to each practice. Okay, so now practice is ending when M usually goes to bed. So now it's rush home, get fed and off to bed.  Oh, and homework. Somewhere in there we have to do that. But still…it’s doable. Gooo cheerleaders!   

Then she upped practice to three days a week.  An extra day of cheer? Okay, so things are going to get really crazy. How are we going to fit all this in? We can manage this. I think. Go team. 

Then last week we got informed that we were going to practice FOUR nights a week. FOUR NIGHTS A WEEK? For cheerleading!! Are you freakin kidding me? @*#% 


And I'm sorry if I sound bitter but I am.  I totally am. Because this throws our whole life into chaos. I mean, I know it's only an extra day but it's like slowly cheerleading has consumed our entire life. And the thought of not getting home until after 8 four days a week is exhausting.

Our coach is a SAHM and I don't think there was any consideration given to working Moms.  It's totally different for her, she can get all her stuff done during the day. Of course it doesn't matter to her that we're in practice all night. But I go from work to practice.  When am I suppose to find time to cook? Or help M with her homework? Or get anything done? This isn't what I signed up for!

Trust me, if I would have been told at the beginning it was 2 hours a night, 4 nights a week we would not have a cheerleader right now.  And now the squad is competing. What?! We didn't sign her up for a competitive cheer league - that was intentional. Because guess what?  That means more time and more money but mostly more time.

So yeah, I'm cheered out. And it's really unfortunate too because M is having the time of her life; she absolutely loves being on this squad.  Which means we'll probably be doing it again next year...

Selfie taken during practice. Can't see anything? Maybe because IT'S PITCH BLACK OUTSIDE.

Lights from the field. The girls are out there cheering. IN THE DARK.

Ugly: Front & Center

Ever have conversations where something that was said stays with you - like you just zone in on that one little piece? And you keep thinking about it - like nothing else in the conversation mattered. Which, obviously it does - but you're just...stuck. Hyper-focused on that one thing.  And for me, it's usually because I have questions that I don't ask. 

So I'm stuck. Stuck on a bit of conversation from this weekend "You're the kind of girl that a guy doesn't realize he'll miss until after the fact" That's kinda the equivalent of being told you're like the comfy sweats that get thrown out and then one day, after too much mexican food and beer, you think man, I wish I had those sweats! And I wanted to ask “Well, why wouldn't you realize that before?” I mean, do you have to dump me in order to realize I'm kinda a good thing? But the conversation moved forward and the moment had passed so I didn't ask. And I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

When our preacher talks about relationships, he always says “Women marry thinking the guy will change and men marry thinking the woman will never change.” And according to him, neither is true.  Personally, I don’t agree. For the most part, in all my relationships I’ve always taken the guys at face value.  It’s almost like a book – it’s interesting to discover who they are and whether I like everything or not, it’s part of the story. 

And I think that’s always been the problem with me too – I just expect people to want to take me as I am from the very beginning, without having to dress myself up. I’m not trying to hide my disappointments or frustrations until after I get you hooked, because then we both end up feeling screwed.  With the exception of my first real boyfriend, who I tried desperately to accommodate – yes, that’s cool with me (when it wasn't). No, I don’t mind (when I did). Anything you want (when I didn't). 

So yeah, I seemed demanding and high maintenance and...I don't know what else.  But at least you got to see the ugly up front. 

Weekend Win

*Not sure what happened - my post from yesterday and Monday didn't actually post. Here's Monday's little jewel.

Fun Sooner weekend!

I realized Friday that every trip out of town should begin with a golf tournament.  Because I'm neurotic, I can't go out of town without a clean house. My house is usually* (because periodically does count as usually, right?) picked up - as in I don't leave crap just laying around everywhere. Unless you count baskets of laundry as "crap". Then yeah, I leave crap laying around everywhere.

But there's a difference between picked up and clean. And I can't leave without it being clean. Thanks Mom, I totally blame you. Because if God forbid, something should happen to me the first thing everyone will ask is "Was her house clean?" And the thought that the answer might be no...It plagues me.

So Friday the hubby went off to play one of his annual golf tournaments and I cleaned the house. It was perfect. 

It also meant that I had to drive to Texas for the OU game. Because this:

Golf = beer

So we get to Texas, meet up with a friend, have a fantastic dinner at a stir-fry restaurant I've never tried before and spend the rest of the night talking. So it was about 11 when we finally checked in to our hotel. Actually, husband checked in and I went to go get ice cream. Because what do you do when you haven't had any regular exercise and you've gained 10 pounds - get ice cream! Seems reasonable to me.

As I'm navigating the annoying one-way streets and no u-turns on my quest for calories, husband calls and says "Good news. Our room has a whirlpool tub." And I'm like Awesome! because I never see the next part coming. And then he says "Bad news is that it's disgusting." That was an understatement. 

Disgusting? Disgusting doesn't even come close.

See that black stuff? That would be mold

As soon as I see it I go to the front desk. Because surely they're going to be reasonable and want to fix this, right? The very first thing he did, as soon as I explained the problem and showed him the pictures, was make a phone call and speak to someone in a language I don't know. Then he asked me to take a seat and wait. That should have been my first clue.

So after a bit and man and woman come in, and without an apology or even acknowledging the room was gross they begrudgingly offer another room - the only room they have left. Probably the only room left in Texas. And they're full of attitude, almost like they were put out that I had the audacity to ask for a clean tub.  And the thing was, I was nice. I really, really was because I'm not stupid...it's OU/Texas. I have no leverage. Do you know how hard it would be to find another room? We'd end up sleeping in the car.

And before the woman even took me to the other room I told them both, I don’t need another room – if someone could just come clean the tub. That got no response. Which shouldn’t have shocked me because obviously they weren't too fond of cleaning.  Room #2 had a strong odor of Pine Sol so I was hopeful but that tub wasn't clean either. Not as gross but not clean. And I guess they thought I was stupid because they didn't realize I would notice that the shower was wet – I’m pretty sure once they got the call they scrambled to throw some cleaner around before bringing me up. And since the room was smaller, had two double beds instead of a king, and was also dirty – I told her thanks but no thanks; we would keep the original room. 

Almost immediately after I got back there was a knock at the door. The man was standing there and he asked me if we were moving rooms. I said no, that room wasn’t clean either and we would just stay where we were. Then he says “I don’t need complaints tomorrow. I’ll refund your room and you can find somewhere else.” Now, I can’t be positive, but I’m fairly certain that was a thinly veiled threat to shut up. And I got that message loud and clear. Recognizing it was now midnight and the night before the game, I smiled as sweetly as I could and thanked him for all his assistance and told him we would like to stay. Again, not real fond of sleeping in cars.

The next morning it was off to the game! I cannot express to you what an awesome experience Red River is...walking through the fair in a sea of red (and occasionally ugly burnt orange) and there’s this energy and excitement. Everyone is pumped about the game. Everyone.  Then, the walk through the stadium. It’s incredible, masses of people yelling “Boomer!” and then “Sooner!” and every so often “Texas!” and then “Sucks!” And when you step out into the stadium, watch it fill up with red and orange. Even if you’re only a half-way fan, it’s hard not to get excited. Just an amazingly fun time.

The other two times we’ve gone we lost and a Red River loss is so much harder than any other game. Because really, it’s like a regular football game on steroids, everything is so much more extreme and intense. I will never forget the first time we went, walking out of the stadium and all these Texas fans were waiting outside our side of the stadium yelling really rude, insulting things as we walked by.  It was the ultimate walk of shame. 

This year there was very little smack talk after the game. I would like to say it was because we have a more dignified fan base but in reality I think it’s because no one really felt great about that win. Don’t get me wrong – I was ecstatic but can I gloat about it? No way. We didn’t play great. In fact, our offense looked horrible. If it weren’t for our defense and special teams we would have lost. And if you look at the stats – we should have. They had more 1^st downs, more passing yards, more rushing yards – over double what we had. They also had more penalties. Which was a huge contributor.  Not the only contributor, but it certainly helped.

But I’m not complaining – I will take the win!  But I was kinda hoping that when we won, because I was sure we were going to, that we would blow them away. Or have a game like TCU/Baylor. Now that was a game! But really, I’m just happy to have a win on the books.

Oh! And I saw Kenny Stills! I was going to get a picture with him but he had taken several already and he looked done.  I waited a few minutes then decided I didn’t want to be that person. I should have at least taken a picture of him, but I didn't think about it. But thought it was cool that he was there. And he's a lot tinier in person than I thought he was...I'm mean, he's not tiny but just not as big as I thought.

We went to eat at the Gas Monkey Bar & Grill afterwards because hubby and kids are huge fans of the show. It was really, really good. It may have been because I was starving – the only thing I had to eat was a stadium hotdog that cost more than my pulled-pork sandwich from the restaurant.  And they have fun drinks/beer that come in a souvenir cup, so that’s a bonus. We’ll definitely go back.

We got up the next morning to head home. Of course, what what trip to Texas would be complete without a stop at the Dairy Queen? Which, technically, they've come back to Oklahoma...but still, you gotta stop. 

Overall, it was a great weekend - got some friend time, had some good food and my Sooners won!

Our drinks came height proportioned...

Who said being short was bad?
How many people can fully stretch out on road trips?

Birthday Love - The Celebrations Continue

So I know it's over, but I have to say this has been the birthday that has kept on giving...

Monday I ran to the mailroom and what did I discover? I birthday surprise from a dear friend. Tuesday, there was a package waiting for me with yet another surprise. And then yesterday, at our staff meeting, everyone surprised me with a cake and card...Have I mentioned how much I love surprises?  It's been aaaawesome!

I can't say it enough - I have some amazing, incredible people in my life. I'm really, really blessed. And kinda amazed - how did I get to be such a lucky, lucky girl?

So it's work today then off tomorrow for Red River!

What a great week!

10-4 Good Buddy

I began and ended this day with a piece of cake.  Because if you're going to celebrate, you might as well celebrate big. Right?

Or maybe that was just my excuse for having two piece of cake in one day.

Either way, I'm wrapping up this birthday weekend happy, happy, happy.  I have the easiest birthday to remember - if you know CB lingo or if you're a fan of Smokey and the Bandit - all you have to do is remember "10-4 good buddy!"

This year, 10-4 fell on a Saturday, which automatically makes the birthday better. And gave me the excuse to claim the entire weekend for birthday festivities.

My BF jump-started things by bestowing me my very first birthday present.  Such a perfect gift.  I made a comment about something a few months ago and she remembered.  That always amazes me. And touches me. I don't know, it just says a lot when people pay attention to the things you say. That's how you know someone loves you - when they remember things and you don't even have to ask them to.

Then I got one of the nicest birthday texts, actually one of the nicest texts I've ever gotten, from a friend.  It was completely unexpected. It's always great to know people think kind things about you but more than that - it was just touching to be thought of and it really made my birthday special.

So I fell asleep on my last day of 37 feeling loved and extremely grateful for the wonderful people in my life. And just in case you didn't know, that's a great way to end a year.

Didn't have any big plans for Saturday. Our birthday celebrations are usually pretty low-key - dinner, family celebration - standard stuff. I don't plan my own birthdays - just not my thing.  That duty falls to my husband. He usually asks me what I want to do or will at least talk to me about it so if there is something specific I want to do, we do it. But for the most part, I'm easy.

This year we had no conversations about birthday plans.  He did ask me last week what I wanted for my birthday, which I found highly suspect because my husband's a planner, he wouldn't wait until the week before to ask me about a present. So I knew he already had something and was trying to throw me off.  He forgets sometimes that I know him.

Saturday morning someone planted the seed of bacon. It's Fat Girl Code 101 - the slightest mention of bacon and it's in our head. And once you've got bacon on the brain, it's over...So I made a bacon birthday breakfast. I did have a few other things in addition to the bacon. But none of them warrants recognition because....it's bacon.

So my entire family gathered at my Mom's house. Where we watched the Sooners get beat. The only blemish to my weekend. Ugh, what a disappointment. The game, however, was amazing. I love, love, love games like that. Well, actually, I love games like that. I only love, love, love them when my team pulls out the win. But when or lose, you gotta appreciate a good football game.

After the game we did the whole cake/presents thing.

When I pulled out a card from my husband, the "gift" inside was a folded up paper.  Immediately, I knew. I knew exactly that it was! So I unfold it and...wait. What is this? Then I quickly scanned the paper and it dawned on me - it was what I thought it was! Tickets to Red River!

Kinda.

It was a hotel stay during Red River. My fiscally responsible husband was still price shopping and didn't actually have game tickets yet because he was convinced they would go down. I'm glad he had the foresight to wait because prices did drop.  The loss to TCU might have helped...

He got tickets today so it's official - Red River Rivalry 2014, here we come!

So it really seems 38 is starting off right - think I kinda like it!

The Hunt Is On

So this whole Frozen obsession has gone a little far, don't you think? 

My girls have decided that's what they want to be for Halloween.  That's the only thing they want to be for Halloween. Usually, they have 3 or 4 different things and I have to work to get them to narrow it down to one and work to ensure they keep the same one for more than one day. I'm serious - you better decide. Once I buy the costume, that's it - you can't change your mind anymore.

Not this year. Nope, this year it's done. Decided. Final. It was final back in like April. And we've been talking about it since then too. Kinda Frozen obsessed.

And I had no problems with the costume selection. Actually thought it was kinda perfect - one blonde, one brunette - about the right age difference. Cute, cute, cute.

But then I discovered that there were 1.4 million other little girls that also wanted to be the Frozen girls for Halloween. Oh. Wait. I got that number wrong. Yeah, since we've entered October that number has climbed. We're now at 2.9 million.

And wouldn't you know, that means that everyone is out of Frozen costumes. It's like the year PillowPets came out. That was the very first year that M actually asked for something for Christmas. She wanted a pillow so bad. But guess what? So did everyone else. I could not find her a pillow to save my life. Actually, that's not true. I could find her a pillow. On Ebay. Some blood-sucking money-hungry jerks had bought up all the PillowPets and were selling them on Ebay for hundreds of dollars. Hundreds. That's how we ended up with the most expensive pillow I have ever owned. A pillow I have never used. We didn't pay hundreds for it - only like...uh....$80. Gaw, that's embarrassing to admit. And that was only because we had to get her the rabbit, instead of the unicorn. Apparently, no one wanted the rabbit. Thank goodness.

So the same thing is happening here.  There is a shortage of supply and an outrageous demand. Dang, Disney - did you not realize this little movie was going to blow up?

I went during lunch today. And yeah, that means no workout. I made my goal for last week and none for this week. Seriously.  But I digress....

So I found one for M2 but still no luck for M. So I look online when I get home. Nothing - they are all sold out. Unless I want to order from some shady internet company with multiple and obvious typos on their webpage. Somehow I just picture two teenage boys with bad acne sitting at a computer laughing at all the parents stupid enough to enter in their credit card information on the site they created after school.

So I decide to go hit some more stores. So I'm chatting on the phone with a friend while I'm driving, telling her about the craptastic week I've had - and that's a whole other post. But a post I probably won't ever do because I've been whining too much this week already -   and when I tell her what I'm doing, we decide to meet up to shop together. And the first thing I said, the very first thing, was "Okay, but I look rough."

So then why, why, when she saw me did she do a double-take and exclaim "Man! You're bummed out!" Uhhhh, yeeeeaaaaahhhh - it's called looking rough. And you had fair warning. What is it with people not believing me?  When I say I look rough, it's because I look rough!

We hit another 4 stores with no luck.

So that's my mission right now -Operation Halloween Quest is in full force. If you happen to be out and find an Elsa costume in size Large (10/12) snatch it up for me. Seriously. In the parentworld, those things are like gold!