Conference Adventures

So what do you do after a lengthy period of no correspondence?  Just pick right up where you started, of course!

Just returned from our state conference - had such a great time and a few fun adventures. But first, let me tell you about The Dress That Was Never Meant To Be.

So the conference banquet was themed and I needed a 1920's Great Gatsby style dress. I ran to a thrift store and found a few that I thought I could make work. As I was walking to the fitting room I happened to see a mannequin in a gown I thought would be perfect. It was heavily beaded, had some intricate lace and was closer to the Gatsby style than any of the other dresses I had. It was also immediately obvious that it was too small. I could just tell from looking at it and then when I peeked at the tag it was a size 8. And I'm not a size 8.

But I liked it and I just wanted to see...so I decided to try. I told myself not to get my hopes up but secretly I was hoping this would be the dress.

My first sign that it wasn't the dress should have been the fact that I couldn't zip it up. And not because the zipper was hard to reach. I couldn't zip it up because I couldn't get it to close. But did that deter me? Of course not.

Never underestimate the inventiveness of a woman on a mission.

So I did what any logical person would do. I zipped it up and then slithered it down over my body. But perhaps "slithered" isn't the right adjective because that sounds kinda easy. So yeah, scratch "slithered". What I actually did was tug, pull, yank and force this thing over my body.

It was not an easy task.

Every single part of me was squished into this thing, but that didn't matter. It's on so it fits!

I knew it was a little risky but I went ahead and paid my $8 and bought the dress. I wasn't sure how I was going to fit into it but somehow that didn't seem like a big priority.

I don't change my eating habits or increase my exercise but the next week I try it on again. You know, just to see if I had miraculously lost weight.

Nope.  Still too tight.

Then we go off  on a road trip. Do you know what happens on road trips? Fast food. That's what happens on road trips. So after a week of cheeseburgers and fries I tried again.

After 20 minutes, lots of grunts and some sweat it was on. But...oh, my...Houston, we have a problem.

See, the first two times I put it on I was wearing a regular bra. But the dress is a halter dress and requires either no bra or a strapless bra. As I've shared before, my girls suffer from depression and lost their perk some time ago so no bra is NOT an option for me. Like, ever.

The third time I was wearing a strapless.  And it changed things. Significantly.

See, I actually had to flatten my boobs to mammogram level to get the dress down. Then I used my bra strap to kinda pull them back up into the right location.  They were flattened but they were the right shape and in the right place.

In the strapless, I couldn't do that. I had no way to pull them back up. I thought I could just reach into the dress and adjust but it was so tight that wasn't happenin.  They ended up in weird places and completely out of shape. Like, how-is-my-boob-a-triangle out of shape. One looked like a weird growth on the side of my armpit and the other was swimming around my belly button.

It was bad. Oh so bad.

And I could do flattened boobs. Is it attractive? No. But I was totally willing to do it. But this. This I could not do.

Did I tell you this was exactly 6 days before the conference? Which, in my head, was like no time to find another dress. I mean, this is a costume. I'm shopping thrift stores - and it's totally hit or miss. I didn't want to risk it so I decided to see if I could have it let out.

In my head I was thinking $20. That's what I was willing to spend. So off to the tailor I go. Of course, she tells me she thinks it's fine. Yeahhhh, because I'm wearing a real bra. This shit doesn't stay here in a strapless, lady, trust me.

So she tells me $30. I kinda rationalize that it's only $10 more. So I do it.  I immediately walk out trying to justify why I just spent $38 on a dress that I'm wearing for a grand total of 2 hours.

I know $38 is not a lot of money. But I'm a thrifty shopper. I shop a lot but I'm good at it and I buy cheap. Like seriously cheap. Like most my dresses are in the $15 and under range. Once I was out shopping with my Mom (who does not shop cheap) and I found a dress I liked for $24.99.  I was really debating if I should get it because I didn't know if I wanted to spend that much.  She looked at me like I was crazy and said "It's Tweny. Four. Ninety-Nine."

So you  can understand my turmoil in spending $38 for a dress I will never wear again. But I convince myself that it's not a lot of money and it's worth it. Which is actually code for I just decided to stop thinking about it.

The Friday before conference I pick up the dress. The $38 dress that I will never wear again.

And guess what?  She hadn't let it out enough. The stupid dress was still tight! Now I just spent $40 for a dress that still doesn't fit! *And yes, $40. When you get screwed out of money, you always round up.

She tried to convince me it was "perfect" and as I'm turning in front of the mirror,  she let's out a small gasp.

Okay, that's never a good sign.

"Your zipper! It's broke!"

Right in the middle of my back the dress is gaping open. The top is zipped. The bottom is zipped. But the middle is wide open where the zipper has literally just pulled apart.

There's my exhibit A that you didn't let it out enough! When she offered to fix it for $16, I grabbed the dress and got out of there.

My default solution to any problem is Google. And it didn't let me down.  I quickly watched a tutorial and was convinced I could fix it. I'm going to save this dress.

I also decide I will use the leftover material from the alterations to create a little wrap to camouflage the tightness. But my sewing machine isn't working and the ends of the satin are frayed. Definitely has to be fixed. So I buy - yes, I'm buying more stuff! - some liquid stitch and spend way too much time fixing this stupid wrap.

In the tutorial video, the man uses a pair of pliers to pinch the zipper and it solves the problem. So first thing I do when I get home is pull out the toolbox. I squeeze the zipper, zip the dress and pull. And it doesn't come apart. I do it again, pulling a little harder. Still zipped.

It worked!

Then I get a little paranoid.  What if I'm in the middle of dinner and it snaps open?  Or comes open while I'm walking? So I decide to do it one more time.  But this time when I clamp the pliers, I hear a little snap. And off flies the zipper pull.

But I am wearing this damn dress!

So I call on friends and get them to commit to sewing me into this thing. I honestly don't care how it's done, we are going to make this happen.

I was able to get into the dress without the need for sewing, stapling or liposuction. And once we got the zipper up, it stayed closed.  It was still way too tight but it was shut and that's the best I could hope for.

It's not flattering but IT'S ON!

The lesson in all of this is really very simple - when you buy a dress that is obviously too small and not going to fit over your body no matter how hard you try, you should expect one thing:

to find a good tailor!

Spring Break Fun

On the road. Spent the day climbing a mountain (Oklahoma mountain,  so really a hill) and exploring a cave. Then we made a visit to Dorothy's house where I skipped on tbe yellow brick road with my two little loves.  Got in over 10,000 steps even with being on the road in a car for 6 hours!

Arriving in Colorado soon for the next step of the adventure.  Photos and updates soon!

Blah

So I'm sitting here really regretting those Oreos. Ugh.

It's a run night. Not my usual night to run but this week has been altered.  I had a long trip to Texas to present at a conference on Monday. I left the house a little after four and didn't get home until about 8:30.  That was really plenty of time to run....and after 8 hours in a car, I really needed to but exhaustion lead me to conclude the rest was more of a priority. So I changed my run days this week to Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

And now I totally don't want to.

But who am I kidding? I never really want to. Always glad I did after, but never want to before. The struggle is real.

Been super busy at work. Usually that would be a good thing but we've had a series of closings for bad weather so I am way behind. And normally the closing would be a good thing too - who doesn't like a free day off?  But I've got too much to do and not enough time to get it all done.

So nothing of real interest or anything worth sharing...I wouldn't have even posted this except I feel a little bad that I've been neglecting this thing.

Wish me luck on my run tonight - I need all the motivational thoughts I can get!

Check Point

This is what a terrible hag I am...

We've decided at the last minute to go to Colorado for Spring Break.  Hubby actually suggested it a while back but in the midst of life, it got pushed to the side and we never made a final decision. Or plans.

Then last week, our friends flew in from CO and we met them for dinner and BAM! We're going to CO.

So I am sitting her researching ski resorts feeling overwhelmed and stressed - like it's too much. We don't have enough time, things are booking up and I have no idea how to get the best deal. Our CO friends don't ski...and the friends we have that do ski, don't ski in CO...I'm in full freak out mode.

I seriously almost told the hubby to forget it completely.

Then it hit me - I'm letting this anxiety overshadow everything. I'm so consumed with worry that I've forgotten to be excited. Or grateful.

And I am. I really, really am.

So I'm going back to my research with a new attitude. CO here we come!

Cha-cha-changes

So I'm on week 5 of my 10K training! I'm still at the point where I feel like I'm doing more walking than running, but the fact that I've stuck with it consistently is major!  Because sticking with any kind of exercise routine is a struggle for me.

I'm a week behind because of the flu/bronchitis combo but other than that I've only missed one day. One!  *happy dance

It's a 14 week program, so I have a long way to go but I'm feeling good about it. I definitely need to get my speed up though. I am so slow. Like, super slow.  But I'm outta shape so what else can I expect?  I'm lugging around a lot of weight...and that's no joke.  I'm at my max weight and running 10 pounds heavier makes a huge difference. Huge.

In addition to running, I've been cooking.  Like real cooking. I got some recipes off a website that a friend shared with me a long time ago and so far, everything has turned out great. Easy recipes, good food and low calories. That's a win for everyone. Except my kiddos, because they've had to suffer the injustice of being provided several meals containing broccoli.  You can check out the recipes at skinnytaste.com, I highly recommend it.

Are You Freakin Kidding Me?

So guess what happens the day after I was bragging about not getting pulled over???

Yep.

I got pulled over.

I'm on my way to work, cruising along, listening to my morning guys when all the sudden - flashing lights in my rearview mirror.

You never really plan to be pulled over but this time was a true surprise because I knew I wasn't speeding. No, really. I wasn't. I know because I had the cruise set.

So I see the lights and my heart drops. Because honestly, getting pulled over never ends well.  At least not for me.  All those stories about cops only giving warnings? Yeah, has never happened for me.  Apparently the forgiving cops are never on shift when I break the law.

Even though I know I'm not speeding, the minute I see the lights I immediately feel guilty. And frazzled.  The officer approaches, asks if I know why I was pulled over and for the very first time in my life I answer no. Because usually I just admit it right away. I mean, who ya tryin to fool? They obviously already know or you wouldn't be on the side of the road.

It was my tag. Apparently, it's expired. Been expired. For like, a really long time. Enough time that he could have impounded my car. Yikes.

The real kicker?  It just fell through the cracks. It's not like we decided to rebel and just not get a new tag. With three cars, a boat and a boat dock that need new tags each year  (along with all the other life "stuff") - we just missed it.

Gaw! How stupid is that? And I don't even want to know how expensive that will be.  It's such a waste. Is this how responsible people live?

Oh. And did I mention that the day after our upstairs unit went haywire, our downstairs unit conked out too? Looks like it will be bologna sandwiches for a while...

Three Times The Fun

So they say bad things come in three's right?  That's certainly been the case with our house the last few days.

I was so stoked for the weekend. I took Friday off, hubby and I had some plans and then we were going to go to M's Valentines Day party at school. I always make the parties but this one was special.  They've been skating in PE and a few classes got selected to have a skating party.  M's was one of the classes. And they were letting the parents skate too. She was SO excited. That's all we heard about the entire week - the skate party.

Unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well. As soon as we picked them up from daycare Thursday, we knew. Off the urgent care we went and sure enough, they both tested positive for strep. So not only were they sick but both of them missed out on their Valentines parties. Such a disappointment.

Then, hubby banged up the car. Nothing serious - busted taillight and scratched bumper - just enough to cause damage but not enough to make it worth filing a claim.  And the little things that don't seem so big always end up costing a small fortune. Of course, I can't talk because I've done far more damage to all our vehicles than he ever has. In fact, I think I've still got one or two on him. Like the time I backed into his truck. Listen, he was pulled up beside me at a weird angle and I didn't notice when I started to back up. I mean, who pulls in like that anyway? You can't pull in catty-corner and think you're not going to get hit... But of course, he's all like "...look behind you before you back up blah, blah, blah" and suddenly it's my fault...

So we scrapped our Friday plans and I hung around taking care of some sickies.  The antibiotics kicked in so Saturday we had our own little party. Totally not the same but at least it was something...

We spent the rest of the weekend pretty low-key and lazy, gorging on chocolates. Okay, I was the only one actually gorging. Man, it was ugly. The good thing is that I just got it over with - I just hurried and ate them so now I don't have to worry about being tempted anymore.

We got an extra snow day, which was awesome. It would have been more awesome if the school hadn't called with the closing message at 4:40. But hey, we got an extra day at home so I'll take that kind of early morning wake up call any day.

And just when I thought things were winding down I feel the house vibrate. "Did you feel that?" I asked the hubby. I was totally thinking it was an earthquake. But then almost at the same time he said "Do you hear that?" and there was a loud vibration coming from the middle of our wall. What the heck?  So he ran upstairs to check...actually, I'm not sure what he was checking but whatever it was it was not the problem. Then he ran outside and our unit is vibrating like crazy. Something was definitely wrong. So we had to shut it down.  We're fortunate that we have separate units for the upstairs and downstairs but all I could think was cha-ching!  Now we've got the car and an ac/heat unit to pay for - fun times!

And all of this as I was just thinking about how awesome it's been that I broke my tradition of getting a speeding ticket in January. At this point, I think I would prefer the cost of the ticket...