I'll Be Back

So I haven't abandoned blogging - I promise!  We're Husband is putting in new floors, which means everything is in chaos and disorder and most of our furniture is being stored in the guest bedroom. Along with our computer.

So it's cut into my blogging time.

But I am so super excited about the floors!  I cannot tell you how long I have been waiting for this - 4 years, 5 months, and 16 days.  Okay, so I guess I can tell you.

All joking aside, our house is nearly a 100 years old and our floors are original.  So while they are real wood and are pretty - they are also very thin and worn out.  I'm scared another few years and we'll be falling through the floors. Not good. Not good at all.

So new floors it is! 

Brace Face

So since I've gotten braces I've been asked the same series of questions.  To save everyone time, here's a quick guide to tell you everything you wanted to know (and some you probably didn't):


1. No, getting them on didn't hurt. Although I was shocked that they were able to get my mouth stretched open so wide.  It wasn't uncomfortable, just odd realizing my mouth was almost as wide as my hips.

2. No, the braces don't hurt.  At least not me.  The orthodontist office told me I would probably have some light pain for two days after but I didn't experience any pain at all.  Everything feels fine. The only discomfort I had was from the unbent wire that was sticking out and scraping me - and that isn't suppose to happen.

3. Yes, they feel funny.  I feel like I have something stuck on my teeth - oh wait, I do.

4. Yes, I really did need them.  I know to you my teeth looked fine and I'm glad that you haven't been looking at me all this time thinking about how jacked up my teeth were...but that doesn't mean I didn't need them.

5. No, I can't eat that anymore. Nothing sticky, nothing too crunchy. And no popcorn. That one was a little painful.

6. Yes, I know I look really young  younger.  I'm okay with that. Really.  I don't mind getting teased that I look 12 - I'm going to embrace it and have fun with it. Why not? I may even start wearing pigtails and bobby socks.

7. Yes, they were expensive.  More expensive than I thought they would be. And more expensive then for children. Orthodontist charge more for adult patients. 

8. I don't know if it's weird to kiss. To actually grown-up kiss. I haven't done that yet. The only kisses I've had since braces have been quick pecks on the lips. But I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Bad and Badder

I'm in week three of my training and I missed my run yesterday.  I don't have a real good excuse...I just didn't get it in.  Making it up tonight.

It's going to mess things up a little though since I'm suppose to run on Thursdays too.  And I'm technically suppose to rest between runs.  But they're my short runs, 30 minutes, so I think I can do back to back and be fine...and Sunday, my long run, is not that long - it's only 2.5 miles.  And since I ran FIVE MILES (yep, still pumped) last Sunday I think I can handle that one okay.

I messed up on my diet drinks too.  It kills me to have to confess that but accountability and honesty go hand in hand so you get the ugly truth.  I actually have messed up more than once.  BIG sad face for me.  I couldn't even last a whole week! 

Although I will say the first one was not really my fault, really.  My hubby ordered one  for me and I rationalized that I didn't want to waste it.  And then I rationalized that it was just one and what would one hurt?

See, see how that works? It's very obviously called lack of willpower.

And then again today I cheated.  I have no rationalization for that except to say I am stressed to the max.  Really, just very, very stressed.  And it's good that I don't get stressed too often because I do not handle it well. 

So after my visit to the orthodontist (to bend a wire that I'm pretty sure should have been bent when they put them on but obviously wasn't since it's been scraping the inside of my mouth since Monday but I just thought it was normal getting used to braces pain and thought I could tough it out until today when my mouth was so raw it hurt to smile and I smile a lot so that was kinda a problem) I caved to the temptation of Sonic happy hour.

I'm going to get back up on and hop on the wagon tomorrow and try it again.  If I can avoid Sonic from now until forever I may have better luck...

Brace Yourself

Take a long, hard look at this picture. Really get a good look at it because I won't be smiling like that for a very, very long time.

Some things have changed and that smile has been replaced by this...

Yes those are red bands...BOOMER!

This is my new "35 going on 12" look.  Sexy, right? 

It's a little ridiculous looking...well, really very ridiculous looking but it will fix my teeth so I'm willing to deal with the temporary ridiculousness. 

Over the last several years my two front teeth have shifted and have moved at an inward slant - it's just got progressively worse as I've gotten older.  It's really obvious in this photo:

So I decided to take the plunge and get them fixed. I know they weren't horrible and it seems a little vain.  Maybe it is...My husband was not keen on the idea.  Actually, he wasn't keen on spending the money.  The idea he had no problems with. 

His initial response was that I was 35, married, and who cared what my teeth looked like?  Although I'm sure he wouldn't try to use this logic if I decided to blow up to 400 pounds... 

But my philosophy is, and always has been, to make the most of life. If something makes you happy - do it!  If something bothers you - fix it!  I don't want to be 60 wishing I had fixed my teeth..what kind of life is that?

So is it the best investment we've ever made?  No, probably not. But there are just some things you can't quantify....like the value of being proud of your smile.

I've been fortunate that I've never required extensive dental work.  In fact, I got my first adult cavity filled last year.  That's it - that's the only thing (besides cleanings) that I have ever had done.  Until today. 

I had no idea my mouth could be stretched in such ways. 

Really, it was gruesome...here's a little taste for those that can stomach it...

And as if having to sit around like that was not painful enough, my orthodontist did a profile assessment.  He had to mark "Recessed"  "Average" "Prominent" on a series of items pertaining to my profile. He marked all of them "Average".  Except my nose.  So it's officially, medically documented that I have a big nose.  Of course, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that.

And then to add insult to injury, the technician gave me a t-shirt when I was all done.  She gave me a large and when I asked her for a medium, she repeated my question and when I confirmed she told me they were 100% cotton and would shrink.  Hummm, wonder what she was trying to say? 

Don't think for a minute that I'm not going to be wearing that shirt on my very next appointment.



"The" shirt. I'm certain I know what size I wear.

  

FIVE

Completed my 5 mile run!  I am SO pumped!  I have to admit it got really tough around the 4 mile mark but I pushed through and made it!  Yay for me!  Although technically, it really isn't a 5 mile run, since I walk some of that too.  I don't care though, I'm still celebrating!

I made a discovery this weekend when I saw myself in some video from last month...I definitely have some body image issues.  Typically women with these type of issues are very tiny but they see themselves as big when they look in the mirror.  They have a distorted view of what they look like.

I also have a distorted view of what I look like but my issue is a bit different - in fact, it is the exact opposite.  The person I see in the mirror is actually better looking than in real life...so basically, I think I'm sexier than I really am.  Until I see video and then I have to face reality. 

And oh, what a painful reality it is...

Have You Ever?

I spent all day yesterday with a sick kid.  M woke up in the early morning with a migraine headache and it was downhill from there.  She got sick in the early afternoon and it continued throughout the day.  She was totally miserable and there wasn't anything I could really do to help.  My job amounted to giving her some Tylenol, rubbing her temples, and trying to make her comfortable. 

Oh, and emptying the puke bowl. 

I could live my whole life without ever having to do that again.

There are other things I could live without too...not that I don't want to do any of them, it's just that if I've gone 35 years and haven't done them yet I could probably go another 35 without feeling like I missed out on anything.  So here are some things I have never done:

1. Eaten at White Castle. Or In And Out. 
2. Drank a cup of coffee.
3. Gotten a hot stone massage.
4. Milked a cow.  Okay, this one I totally want to do someday I just haven't ever had the opportunity.
5. Gotten a facial.
6. Owned a brick home.  Although this is my favorite style, our homes have all been sided or rocked.
7. Watched an episode of Jersey Shore.
8. Posted anything on You Tube.
9. Shot a gun.  
10. Been inside a barn.
11.Shopped at Abercrombie.
12. Broken a bone.
13.Seen the Twilight series.
14. Been arrested.  Although in my height of debauchery and wildness I probably deserved to be.
15. Had a king size bed.
16. Eaten Nutella.

Busy Bee

Super busy day today.  Inservice in the morning, ran back to the office for a few minutes and then off to the dentist for a cleaning.  I was a couple months overdue.  Not from my lack of planning - I actually schedule every 6 months, just like I'm suppose to.  But the day of my last appointment they called and cancelled because the dental hygienist was out sick.  And the soonest they could reschedule was now. 

Apparently a few  months makes a huge difference because my teeth/gums were sore for the rest of the afternoon.  And cleanings aren't usually painful to me.  She did say she was trying to be extra thorough but man, my gums looked butchered.  Definitely a lesson for me to get in a better habit about flossing - which is something I totally don't do.  Even though I know I need to. 

Then I ran back to the office just in time to take a few students on a campus visit.  It was a small one - not on our calendar but by special request.  It was nice - these are great students and I'm excited because they really take their academics seriously.  Way more seriously than I ever did.

So I wasn't in my office more than an hour today but I really needed it.  I've been tied to my computer all week and have barely had any interaction - I needed some people time!

Good things were happening while I was out though - we got some new computers for our tutoring/study lab.  We are now officially a tutoring/study/computer lab.  We don't have a lot - 6 student computers - but it's better than the single one that our students have been fighting over.  So yeah for getting our lab set up and done!

It's just amazing because everything that I have envisioned for our program so far has come to fruition.  It's so exciting to see it all come together.  And I have so many ideas and things I want to do. Now I just need to find a way to get a secretary and another staff person and I think we will be set! In the meantime, we'll just continue to work like mad to try to make it all happen...

Completed my short run - 30 minutes of treadmill time. Sunday is 5 miles and I'm starting to get nervous.  Trying not to psych myself out but man, it seems like such a long way...but I can do it.  Right?  Right!  I think.

Now I gotta make a run of a different kind - off to Walmart I go!

On Track

Completed my short run - 30 minutes on the treadmill, nearly 2 miles.  I was really hoping to reach the 2 mile mark but I didn't get it.  Not that it matters to anyone except me - I should be focusing on distance, not speed and I know that. But it's so hard when I get so close to not just speed it up and bring it home.

But I didn't.  I was good and stayed on pace. Well, tried to stay on pace.  And it's funny too because I was sore.  This is the first run of this training program I've had with sore muscles. I had my 4 miles run and then the next day I walked around the zoo all day pushing M2.  And she's a chunk.  But the soreness is a good thing - it just means things are happening!

I came dangerously close to forgetting it was my run day - my days are all messed up from the long weekend.  I was messed up all day too - keep putting things on my calendar for the wrong date...ugh, I'm a mess!

Going to try to get a few things done around the house...or find my bed.  I haven't decided yet....

So It Begins...

So today starts day 1 of no pop for me. 

On this day last year I gave up regular soda and switched to diet.  That wasn’t so hard; I just traded one addiction for another.  But I’ve got to kick this habit – diet or not, I know it’s not healthy to put all that garbage in my body. 

Plus, it prevents me from drinking enough water.  Which is kinda important if I plan to run efficiently.  Or plan to run at all, really. 

I’ve never not drank pop, so this is huge for me.  I know it will be extremely difficult, especially since I will be tempted with it at home but I’m committed to staying strong and resisting. 

I. Can. Do. This.



2011 - No regular soda!



2012-No soda at ALL!

Four Miles Baby!

After church today I made everyone lunch and then jumped on the treadmill.  I usually run at night after the kiddos are in bed but today was my 4 mile and I was a little excited.  Plus I wanted to make sure to get it done in case something happened - I didn't want to have any excuses for avoiding it.

That's the longest distance I have ever run in my entire life.  I've done a couple of 5K runs but nothing beyond that.  Even at the point in my life several years ago when I was running consistently I never got further than that.

So this is super exciting for me.

My pace was pretty slow.  I finished in 1 hour, 12 minutes, and 32 seconds.  Which has me running 18 minute miles.  Which is slow.  But I finished and that's what I'm focusing on.

The trainiing schedule I'm doing is really focused on distance over speed because it's a schedule for a half marathon.  Now, I'm NOT running a half marathon.  What I'm actually running is one leg of a half marathon, 6.2 miles (10K). But I want to train for a half marathon.

Even though they have training specifically for a 10K. 

Don't ask me why - it makes no sense. But neither do I.

So next Sunday is 5 miles.

Let's see what I can do...

I Am Electrifying

I carry a lot of static electricity.  Like an unusually large amount.  I am constantly shocking people – from the static, not my behavior.  Although sometimes my behavior too, but I’ve gotten better about that… 

I have no scientific proof but I kinda feel like my static issue is a result of an incident that occurred when I was about 10.  My mom took us to the car wash and there was a cement sign/marquee that had a lamppost coming out of it – similar to this:

Except the cement part was smaller and there was no ocean. Or pigeon.  Well, there may have been pigeons but never when we were around. 

It was just this small little cement block and my sisters and I use to run around and play on it while my Mom washed the car.  I think she preferred that car wash because we would go free and stay out of her way. 

We would jump up there, swing around the lamppost and pretend to be Broadway stars up on stage.  It was so much fun.  Until the day that it all went horribly wrong. 

I jumped up, grabbed the post and the very next minute I felt the weirdest sensation of my life.  I don’t even have words to describe it.  Everything was in slow motion, I had no control over my body and I felt like I was being suspended in the air.  Then abruptly, it stopped.  I was on the ground.  I looked down and saw blood all over my hand - my fingertips looked like they had been popped open.  I didn’t know what happened but I knew it wasn’t good and I was scared.  I just started screaming.

I had received an electric shock.  The current entered the tips of my middle finger, ring finger, and pinky and exited the same way.  The doctors were surprised because apparently it's unusal for a current to have the same entry/exit point. Personally, I found the whole experience unusual.

No one knows how it happened; it wasn’t anything obvious to my parents or to the owner. No exposed wires or anything like that.  It was just one of those freaky things. 

Of course, it ended my Broadway star days.  I never, ever climbed up on that cement block again.  Never felt like pretending to be a Broadway star after that either.

And besides the tiny scars on my fingertips you would never know it happened. 

Well, that and the fact that I attract more electricity than anyone else I know…

Blog Break

I am in avoidance mode.  Really, I’m trying my best not to do the thing that I need to do the most, which is to work on my annual performance report.  I just can’t get started.  I have it at the very top of my to do list but I still haven’t started.  I told myself that I needed to get all these other things out of the way first, so that I could concentrate.  But really, I just keep finding things to do and I could keep finding things to do forever.

So I just need to get started. Now.

I’m freaked out about it though, which makes no sense.  I’ve been doing APR’s for the last 6 years.  In fact, I did my last one during my maternity leave. And if I can do it while being sleep deprived, in between feedings and diaper changes with new mommy brain then this should be no problem.  But, I don’t know.  I’m nervous.

It just seems different to me now.  I just feel such a huge sense of responsibility and I just don’t want anything to go wrong.  Which is all the more reason that I should start working on it now…

Speaking of working – I worked my tail off the other night and made my long run - 3 miles!  I was so excited!  I have a 30 minute run today and I am pumped! 

Next week I’m going to start incorporating strength training on my off days.  It won’t help me run my 6 miles in the relay marathon but it will help me look better in a tank top...

Dear/Deer - What's The Difference?

So sometimes I do silly things - like type "dear" when I really meant to type "deer". It happens.  It's not that I don't know the difference between the two - really, I do.  I'm not claiming to be the best speller in the world but I did make it through the third grade, which I think is about the time they teach you the differences between those sort of things.  It's just that when I blog I literally just type whatever comes through my head, there isn't much filtering or editing going on - and I like it that way. 

So just ignore it and move on. Or go to great lengths to point it out if that's what makes you feel good. Either way, I don't care.

So yesterday's training was suppose to be an easy walk.  I left the house at 5:30 and didn't make it home until about 11 that night - so there was no easy walk.  I'm not trying to deviate from the program but I don't feel guilty about it, like I would if it was a run day.  I do, however, feel guilty about my eating.  Ugh, it's been horrible.  Got to get that cleaned up right now!

This morning as we were leaving the house M asked me if I was pregnant.  I told her no and asked her why she thought that and she told me my tummy was getting big like when I had M2 in it.  I did tell her it was not polite to tell people their tummies are getting big but geez, the kid was just being honest.  And I'm not a big t-shirt person - really, the only t-shirts I wear are the fitted ones so it's not like I can hide the obvious.

And it's not that big of a deal, I know how it works: working out = healthy and not working out = weight.  What is frustrating though is that the weight I have gained has all gone to my tummy.  Well, almost all of it.  A little tiny bit has made it's way to my chest.  Which should have been a positive thing except that little tiny bit apparently favors the right.

I've always been fortunate that I was happy with my chest.  Decent size, symmetrical - not perfect but acceptable.  I felt pretty lucky.

Then I got pregnant.  I had heard horror stories about changes after breastfeeding - everyone said they were never the same.  But it was something I wanted to do, even if that happened - decent boobs were something I was willing to give up.

During that time they actually looked phenomenal. Sorry if that's gross, but it's true. I was so excited.  I thought okay, so that's how it works - it's kind of like a Mommy gift - you get these really amazing boobs while you breastfeed.  Then they kinda get gross afterwards - it 's like a parting gift.

Except that really didn't happen with me.  They didn't get gross and all was well.  Until now.  Now they've changed and I've ended up with a  mismatched set. 

So this is yet another reason that you can bet I will be on the treadmill tomorrow (today is an off day)...at this point I don't even mind if they get even smaller - I just need them to look like they belong together.

I Will Run You Over, My Deer

Spent the day conducting leadership training for our state association.  You know, it's interesting because no matter how old I get or how much experience I have, I continue to discover new things about myself.  Here are some things I discovered today:

1.  I have some awesome friends.  Okay, so I didn't just discover this today, I've known it for a long time but the more time I spend with them the more amazing I think they are.  I'm telling you, these girls rock!

Love these girls...

2. No matter how hard I fight against it, there are just some things that are innate to my personality. I should spend less time trying to change these things and more time trying to figure out how to use them to my advantage.

3.  No matter how much I prepare, how well I know the material, or how entertaining I make it - I am always paranoid about my presentations. I have a deeply held belief that it could have been better, I could have done more.

4. Taco Casa's super nachos. Yuuuuum.

5. Durant, OK is home to the largest peanut in the world. But it's not a real peanut.  So really, it's just the home of the largest peanut statue in the world.  Somehow, that makes it a little less impressive.



The peanut statue



This bench is for people confused about what town they are sitting in...

6. In addition to not being able to cook, bake, or successfully play sports - I also cannot drive.  I actually discovered this at the end of my day.  When I hit a dead deer.  Laying in the middle of the road.  I feel like I have a somewhat legitimate excuse for how this happened but by the hysterical laughter of the passenger in my car I'm assuming others would find it less legitimate than I do.



We survived the deer!



Day 2 Is Through!

Day 2 of training complete! 

I know it's only my second day (yesterday was an off day) but I'm getting really excited about this! Can't wait to make it the full 13 miles!  That's both thrilling and frightening.

But I'm super determined to make this happen.  And if it's one thing about me it's that when I get something in my head I'm stubborn beyond belief and I won't let it go.  Just ask my husband.

So I'm putting that determination to use and channeling that energy into making this happen!

Punch Drunk

I feel slightly drunk this morning.  No, I haven’t been partying it up – just severely sleep deprived.  I’ve been going to bed too late and then last night we pulled an all nighter with a sick kiddo.  Or a healthy kiddo that just didn’t want to sleep… I’m not sure at this point which one it is. 

Thank goodness that kind of thing is rare in our house – both my girls sleep like champs.  They get that from me.  This is not so great for the hubby because when they do actually wake up, I sleep right through it.  I attribute this mostly to my ability to secure a coma like state of slumber.  Most the time I can sleep through anything – storms, tornado sirens, roaring trains…and crying babies.  I am almost certain this is the reason my husband wasn’t willing to go for baby number three.

And even though this is completely out of my control, it’s a point of resentment for the husband.  Not that I blame him – it really would suck to get woken up only to look over and see your spouse peacefully, deeply, soundly asleep. 

But because he gets frustrated that he always has to pull night duty he sometimes wakes me up to do it.  That sounds fair and reasonable, right? 

Except most the time he can’t go back to sleep. 

So neither one of us gets any sleep.  Which is the story of last night, although I did get a few more hours than he did…and when you haven’t had enough sleep a few hours are like gold.

And waking up all night was a good reminder to me of the reality of having a newborn.  Which I needed because I’ve been kinda struggling with the fact that M2 will be our last baby.  I was reorganizing my Kitchen on Monday and I found all her sippy cups, which we haven’t used in about a year but I just couldn’t get rid of them…I just couldn’t.  It made me too sad.  So I just moved them up and out of the way.

Then I set up her big girl bed.  Her crib is convertible so she’s been using it as a daybed but I actually set up her real, twin size, grown up bed.  And as I was packing her crib bedding away I just started crying.  Nothing dramatic or hysterical – just a few little tears at the sadness of knowing that part is over for us.

And then we get a night like last night to help me remember to be grateful for exactly what we’ve got and where we’re at…

Celebration of A Non-Failure

Dinner dishes - done
White crap all over the floor - vacuumed
Stinky trash - disposed
Fat butt - penalized by the treadmill

Day 1 of training complete!

And it's a good thing too because I wasn't kidding about the fat butt thing...while I was running I could feel it jiggle!  Now I've always had a big behind but it was firm - maybe even perky back in the day.  That kinda made having a big behind not so bad.  But a big, jiggly behind is totally different.

My stomach has been jiggly for a while and that's hard enough to deal with but jiggling from both ends? That I can't take...

Confessions Of A Failure

I have had a night.  It's 9 and I just got the kids to bed - M2 goes down anywhere from 7 to 7:30 and M goes down at 8. 

Yep, that kind of night.

I am spent and exhausted and have no energy.

None. Nada. Zip.

And all I can think about is that I am suppose to run tonight. That I can't wait another day, I've put it off for too long. If I don't I will feel terrible. And terribly lazy.

And then I think about the mess from dinner. The laundry in the dryer. The trash that needs to go out. The white packing foam that M2 managed to shred into a million impossible little pieces.

Yep, that kind of night...

I Need Help

If you happen to see me and you think that I look like I’ve gained a little weight over the holidays you would be incorrect.  I’ve gained more than a little. 

But I don’t regret one minute of pigging out – I thoroughly enjoyed every delicious bite.  It almost, almost, makes the extra 10 pounds I’ve gained worth it. 

Of course, I didn’t pick up the extra 10 from holiday gorging alone – nope, that’s months of skipping workouts and eating like I’ve got the metabolism of an 18 year old.  So today my dear friends is my day of redemption – I’m back on training going to start the training program I should have been on the whole month of December.

It should be interesting because technically I should be able to do a 3 mile walk/run before beginning the training schedule…now I haven’t been on my treadmill in some time but I am fairly certain that I couldn’t.  Oh well, I gotta jump into it – the clock is ticking!

And Santa didn’t read my blog (no big surprise) so no new running shoes for me. He did, however, get me some new perfume.  Although the first day I wore it he sniffed me, asked me if I was wearing the new perfume, scrunched up his nose and told me it smelled like Play-Doh.  Wonderful.  Because nothing screams sexy like smelling like a daycare. 

So beyond starting the training, I was also suppose to give up soda today.  Yep, suppose to.  I just…couldn’t.  And like any cold hard addict, I have a million and one reasons that today wasn’t a good day to start.  And like any cold hard addict, I am racked with guilt.  But apparently not enough guilt to stop sipping this Diet Dr. Pepper.

Can someone please point me to the nearest Secret Soda Sipper Support group?  I need an intervention, NOW!