Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Dearest Neighbors

Dear "We'll Use Our Neighbors As Free Babysitters Because We're Too Lazy To Take Care Of Our Kid" Parents Breeders That Live Next Door:

Stop sending your kid to my house every single day. Please, use a little judgement and have some consideration.  When I pull up in the driveway at 6:00 and your kid is ringing my doorbell at 6:05 - it's a little much.  Can you just give me a minute to breathe? To settle in? To take off my freakin coat?

And EVERY Saturday morning?  Do you not think we might like to have a little time to ourselves? You know, to enjoy some time together. Oh wait, yeah, you wouldn't understand that since you're obviously only interested in pawning your kid off as much as you can.

Since that doesn't happen to you, let me give you a little picture of what that's like.  It's Saturday and I want to sleep in a little. Because I get up at an ungodly hour during the week because I work...oh yeah, never mind. That's another thing you wouldn't understand. Sorry, I forgot that you aren't interested in gainful employment either.

So I sleep in a little, roll out of bed and just wanna bum around a little.  Due to an early bus, long commute, and busy life - having some lazy time is precious to me.  So I'm sitting on the living room floor in my pjs playing S'Match with my kids when it comes. The knock.

And I know immediately it's your kid. Again.

And I know it shouldn't, but it really annoys me. Yeah, I said it - it annoys me to have your kid around all the time. I know that isn't something I'm suppose to admit - I mean, what kind of horrible person gets annoyed by a little kid, right? 

This horrible person right here!

I'm annoyed that I have to get dressed. Okay, so that's a mild annoyance. It's not like I wasn't going to get dressed anyway but dang, can't I indulge in at least half a day of wearing my pjs around?

I'm annoyed because you send your kid over without any supervision, which makes me feel uncomfortable. It also makes me feel like I'm the one responsible for her safety. I'm not cool with her walking to and from our houses unsupervised - even if we're only a few houses apart. So I send my kid to walk her home while I stand on the porch in the cold to make sure she makes it safe. I realize the chances of anything ever happening are minimal - but you can't replace children! Or undo the damage of some crazy monster. And there are monsters out there. Probably more than you know.

I'm annoyed that the relationship is one-sided.  She's always at our house but my kid is never invited to play at your house. Which is why I feel you view it as free babysitting. And I probably shouldn't complain about that because honestly, I wouldn't let my kid go over there anyway. Think that sounds judgemental and holier-than-thou? Well, I wouldn't hand you the keys to my car and tell you you're free to take it. And you wouldn't really expect me to, would you?  In fact, if I did that you might even think it was strange- because it's my car and your a stranger. So why should it be strange that I treat my kid like she's more valuable then a hump of metal with wheels? Because she is.

And then I'm just kinda annoyed with your kid. Isn't 9 old enough to know that she shouldn't be going through the papers in our office? And why does she thing it's okay to just open my linen cabinet and start going through it? Boundaries - she should have already learned them. But no worries, I've given her a quick lesson for you. And when I say no she can't stay for dinner, I can hear her whispering to my kid to ask why.No worries on that either, I also explained to her the proper adult/child role. She looked kinda confused as I explained that when I give an answer, it's the end of the discussion. Don't worry though, she'll pick that up quickly if she keeps hanging out at my house.

It would probably be easy to just start turning her away, telling her she can't play and sending her back home. But you know what, my kid really enjoys her and I enjoy seeing my kid happy. And we've had some great teachable moments - about how other families talk differently (I'm not fond of yelling the f bomb to my kids), work differently (I don't expect my elderly parents to support me) and act differently than ours. And hopefully, maybe your kid can learn a few things too.

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