My Husband Is Courting Another Woman... And I'm Okay With It

For several weeks now I've watched as my husband has giddily read texts, exchanged IM messages and carried on phone conversations with another woman. He's laughed out loud to jokes I don't get, arranged his schedule to make time for her, and has met her for dinner multiple times.

I've watched him grow excited and enthusiastic. This robot man who rarely shows emotion...wait, does seriousness count as an emotion? Okay, I didn't think so...so this robot man is walking around expressive and animated. He's...happy.

I've watched them as they get to know each other, create memories and build a relationship. And I'm okay with that.  I'm okay with all of it. In fact, I'm beyond okay with it...I'm happy about it.

And that's because it's totally not what you think- this new woman is his sister! She was adopted as an infant and just recently found her birth family. She lives close to us so they've been able to spend some time together. And it's such a good thing!

It's hard for me to understand what it would feel like being disconnected from my family. I don't know what it's like to feel out of place or to have a parent that isn't interested unless they need something. But I do understand, with certainty, that it would be difficult. 

He's close to my family but in a way, I almost think that's harder. You know, it's almost like a reminder of the way things should be but aren't.  So this sister is an opportunity to have that...family relationship. It's something that I think has been missing for a long time.

But every relationship, of every kind, is a process. It's not something automatic; it's built from mutual interest and shared experiences. It's phone calls, text messages, spending time together- all the things you do when you want to know someone. Most importantly, showing interest and attention.

So I'm not #1 right now. I know, I know. I totally agree - the world should revolve around me. I mean, please, how could it not, right? It is, after all, always about me.

For now, my husband's energy and focus is on someone else and for the first and probably last tim in my life, that's okay.  I'm gladly giving them their time and hoping they can have the kind of relationship he's always deserved.