FML

It's nearly 2:30 a.m. and I am running out of ways to procrastinate.  I'm suppose to be writing my grant. But my brain is just done. I'm on what should be a simple section but I can't even muddle through it. Largely because I just feel so damn lost. How do I know what they want? How do I know it will make sense? How do I write this damn thing? 

Have I not filled you in on that? Surprise, surprise - guess who's writing? I officially got told last week. Last week! That should tell you everything you need to know about how this entire thing has been handled. That and the fact that the original grant writer leaned over to me in a meeting and said, and this is an exact quote, "Well, you can write it and when it doesn't get refunded I'll say see, you should have submitted mine." I wanted to punch him right in his snarky little face.

But only violent people do that. And I'm not violent. See, I'm really not or I would have knocked him out. Or at least tried too.

What was worse than him actually having the audacity to say that to me was the fact that both his supervisor and my supervisor were also in the meeting and neither one said anything. At one point I cut him off and said "Excuse me? Do NOT talk to me that way."

But why did it even get that far? One of those two should have reigned him in and shut him down. Weak. Weak. Weak.

Okay, see what happens when I don't get enough sleep. Two nights of no sleep and I turn into a bitter, ranting hag - not a good look. I'm shutting my own self down and calling it a night!