The Day I Almost Died At The Carnival & Other Unimportant Nonsense

Every year our town celebrates the land run of 1889. Mostly because it's a historic town but partly because there is some real bitterness about the fact that this used to be the state's capitol.  It's the one claim to fame this old town has and they are not prepared to let it go. We gotta make sure everyone knows that this place was the territorial capitol. The fact that this hasn't been the capitol since 1910 is pretty irrelevant. We were the first, damn it!

So there are several 89er weekend festivities.  Mine usually begins with the parade. I always try to take the girls, because what kid doesn't love a parade? And it's usually a really good parade too. Normally, there are over 200 entries - bands from all across the state, Shriner clowns, show cars, horses - just a ton of stuff.

This year was just kinda 'eh'. Except that M got to be in the parade - she was super pumped about that. And when they went by she yelled out to M2 and made sure to throw candy right to her. That was a very big deal.

But not as big as getting to go to the carnival afterwards.  I planned to take them this year but didn't want to say yes, in case it didn't work out. So I was noncommittal, which my kids were afraid meant no.  M put together a pretty impressive marketing campaign to win me over. Seriously, I thought these were outstanding. She used a popcorn bag to create two ads:

"The carnival is fresh & crisp especially in 2015"

Clown holding a sign that says: "Please let M go to the carnival in 2015"

So off we go to the carnival! I love carnivals and fairs. I just think they're fun. And I love to people judge watch. So we get our wristbands and make our way down the row of rides. Most of them are the kiddie rides that don't do more than go in a circle. Down towards the end are the "real" rides. Those are the ones that M wants to ride. It's amazing, she's fearless. No hesitation, no doubt - just "I want to ride that!"

I like rides too. Love roller coasters. Which is why my family finds it hilarious that I'm scared of the Ferris Wheel. And I am. Hate it. I can't do it and when I do, I am petrified. Literally, clinging to the edges scared. I have been bungee jumping (twice), parasailing and skydiving but put me on a Ferris Wheel and I freak out.

Down on the ground, where I belong, watching my little one enjoy the ride

With all that stuff, it's so fast I don't have time to think - it's pure adrenaline. That's what I love about it. And what I hate about the Ferris Wheel. It's so slow, you're just hanging there, dangling. It's too much time to think and if I think, I get scared.

But I'm not so sure about these carnival rides. At least the big ones. Something about the fact that they put them up in two days makes me nervous. And they're not being put up by Engineers. There's a reason these people are working in a carnival...

So I let her pick one. Of course, she picks the scariest looking one, The Zipper. They put you in a little cage and you spin 360 degrees. Multiple times. Looks fun!

I started getting nervous when we were two away from the front of the line and I noticed a grown woman getting off the ride saying "No.No.No.Never again. Never. Never."

I watch the guy close the next basket, so I can see how they're latched and I realize it's literally just a little knob that the guy moves over. And he doesn't seem to be that careful about moving it over either. Like if it were me, I would be double, triple checking it. He's just halfheartedly, nonchalantly flicking it shut. Like, not putting any weight into it at all. I don't like that.

I notice the next cage is missing the black round knob that the other cages have. It doesn't prevent him from opening it but I wonder why it's missing and what that means...like, how can it latch shut if it's missing that knob?

And then...we're up? Our turn?  Into the cage with the missing knob. M is so excited she can hardly stand it. We get into the cage and...wait. There are no seat belts. Where are the seat belts? Where are the seat belts!?!?

Surprise!  There are no seat belts. Nope. The door has bars that you're supposed to hold on to and a soft foam strip to brace you. That's right - you're entire body weight is on this door. The door with the missing knob.

I shake the door four times as hard as I can before they lift us up - just to make sure it's really shut. But it doesn't make me feel better.

I realize too that M's feet are dangling precariously. Mine barely touch the floor. What's going to keep her anchored when we're upside down? So I hold on to the bar with one hand and put my arm across her chest with the other and right then - WHOOSH - we spin. And I know right away I don't like it. Spin, three more time. I'm not sure what I said but I'm pretty sure it was obvious that I was not okay with this ride. Then I notice M is leaning into me saying "I don't like it. I don't like it." over and over.

I know she's feeding off my panic so I immediately go into a  "It's okay. It's okay." mantra. And then I'm not scared at all, I just want her to be okay and for this damn ride to be over so she won't be scared anymore. And then, moments later we are lowered down and our cage pops open. Freedom!

We climb out and I notice M's hair is all over the place, reach back and feel that my own ponytail has fallen out and is frizzed over everywhere. M sees a friend walking towards The Zipper and exclaims "Don't do it! Don't ride The Zipper!" But there is a certain kind of pride in her voice as she relates the facts of our ride. "You go in circles and hang upside down!"

But that's not how I almost died. No, that happened much later in the evening when I reached back and pulled the rubber band out of my hair. I felt two things in my fingers so before I put my hair up again I look and there was a june bug! In my hand! I screamed, jumped about 3 feet and shook my hands as hard as I could.  It scared me so bad,  I was almost ready to ride The Zipper again.

I survived the ride and the bug! Champion!