It's The Good Times That Count

Made a new discovery today: silk dresses should not be worn in temperatures over 89. At least not if you have to stand in the hot sun waiting for the window repair guy to fix the teeny-tiny surface crack on your windshield. Because no matter how strong your deodorant, this very unforgiving material will make a speck of sweat expand into a lovely sweatring under your arms. Nice.

At least I got the windshield fixed. Not that the crack was really big enough to notice, I actually had to squint to see it...but better to get it fixed now before it becomes a problem. And what's up with everything happening to the new car? I promise you, I drove our old car everywhere and nothing. Get a new car and I've got door dings and rocks flying.

Spent the weekend phone-free. My battery went dead and our charger wouldn't work. It was kinda nice. Sometimes I don't realize how connected to my phone I really am. I think I've gotten better about it - I usually put it away until the kids are in bed - but I'm still on it a lot. Probably a little too much.

Thinking about my Pawpaw today. We lost him exactly 7 years ago.  Still hard to believe, hard to accept. I miss him every single day. So thankful to have had him in my life, grateful for all that he taught me. He was a truly amazing man.  We gather every year to celebrate his life - always remembering the funny stories and his big, wonderful, contagious laugh. It helps to make the day easier.



February 2005



The Gift Of A Lesson

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. I’ve been a bit distracted and haven’t been on the computer much. Well, haven’t been on to play – I’m connected all day long at work. Which is a good thing because I have been rolling along and getting some things knocked out. Nothing makes me feel as good as being productive. I should do it more often.


Birthday party was a success. M had a really good time and enjoyed her special day. And that’s what it’s all about – love to see my kiddos happy. And she really, really deserved a special day. Excuse me while I brag on her a bit. I can’t help it, I just think she’s so cool.

Just skip this entire post if you’re not interested.

My kid isn’t perfect but she’s got a huge heart – I love her compassion and kindness. She saw a commercial for some glitter tattoos. Every single time the commercial came on she would frantically call me into the living room and tell me how much she wanted them. So that was part of our present to her and she was really excited when she got it. Then one of her friends said something like “Oh cool, I want that!” and M looked at her, in all sincerity, and says “Here, you can have it.” She was completely willing to give away her favorite present.

At home when she was going through all her new stuff M2 grabbed one of her new lip glosses. I heard her say no and thought she was going to tell M2 that those were hers and to leave them alone. Instead she said “No. This one is mine and you can have this one.” And she gave M2 her lip gloss so she could have her own. And then when I opened her new package of silly bands the first thing she did was pull two out and call M2 over and give them to her. On a day that was all about her, a day meant to indulge and spoil her, she was trying to take make other people happy. I was pretty darn proud of my girl that day.

As parents, we like to think that when our children do something good it’s because we’ve done a good job raising them. We pride ourselves on raising them the “right way” and take credit for their behavior. Of course, this only applies when it’s something good. We lose this philosophy fast when they mess up and disappoint us.

And while we try to instill in our children good values, I can tell you her unselfishness was intrinsic. It was natural and genuine. And I wondered, and hoped, that she would always have that level of love and compassion.

And then I thought about what I had done. How I reacted when she offered her favorite gift to her friend. I said “No, that’s your birthday gift honey.” Out of selfishness, I wanted her to keep it. I wanted her to enjoy it. I wanted to enjoy watching her enjoy it. So I didn’t let her give her gift away.

For all the good lessons we try to teach, the lessons that teach the most are the lessons they see. Even though we take pride thinking our children do good because of us, I really believe that they do good despite us.

What kind of message was I sending? Let’s do something good and make a difference - let’s take these toys and give them away because we want to make other kids happy. But only because they’re old and you don’t play with them anymore. But if it’s something that you love, well, you better keep that.

What I did was steal joy from my child. The kind of deep meaningful joy you get when you do something generous.  Would she have regretted her decision later?  I imagine the very next time she saw a commercial for them she might have. But maybe she wouldn't have - maybe she would have been so excited for her friend to have them that she wouldn't have cared at all.  It's hard for me to say, I've already been corrupted by life and I'm intrinsically selfish.

So once again, my loving, smart, and beautiful oldest daughter has taught me something valuable and meaningful. Taught me something that will make me both a better person and a better parent…

You're Gonna Do What To Me?

So I've got a couple of orthodontist appointments coming up and I wasn't really sure what they were going to do. It's like finding the prize in the cereal box -I never know what I'm going to get. Last time it was a metal spring and a mouth full of sores. Good times!

I didn't want to be miserable during M's party so I thought I would call and get some kind of idea what was going to be happening inside my mouth. My first appointment, this week, will consist of putting in some spacers. I was a little surprised because I thought those typically went in before the braces but okay. She said there were would be some slight discomfort but I should be fine. Awesome. I'm good to go.

Then I asked about my appointment next week and she told me they would be splenderizing me. So what's splenderizing? I asked. Turns out she didn't say splenderizing, she said slenderizing. Great! I'll take about 5 inches from my waist, two from each thigh...Oh wait, we're talking teeth, right? So what exactly are we planning to do here?

File down my teeth. They are going to take an emery board type tool and rub it in between my teeth to strip them down and thin them out.

Yes, apparently, even my teeth are fat.

Celebrate

It’s almost birthday time in our house! So excited that my baby girls is almost 6! I cannot believe it - six years old!


I’ve been busy party planning. We’re going back to the same gymnastics center we went to last year. I’m taking that as a sign that she had a good time last year. The girl is like me – when she knows she likes something she sticks with it.

I have a few little things to take care of and then we’ll be set and ready to go. It’s hard to really plan when no one RSVPs – I don’t really know how many we’ll end up with. So I planned big and will most likely be stuck with some leftovers. No worries, we’ll just be using Dora the Explorer plates for a few weeks after.

I was a little behind on her birthday poem but I got it done last night. I kinda struggled this year. It just doesn’t seem to flow that well. But at this point, I’m just happy that I’ve got it written. So here’s a bad Mommy confession: I didn’t write one for M2’s birthday last year. I’ve written one every year for M’s birthday, so of course, I had to do the same for M2. But last year…well, I don’t know what happened. I just didn’t get it done. And then I told myself I would do it right after. And I didn’t.

So I’m going to cheat. This year I’m going to do two. It isn’t the same but at least she’ll have it for her baby book. So when they are trying to decide who I loved more by looking through their baby books and measuring my love by the amount of details I recorded– they will see that it truly is even. And that I wasn’t very good about recording anything for either one of them.

So each year on their birthday we have a special day and do something fun. This year I asked M what she wanted to do and she told me she wanted to help people that didn’t have anything. And then said that maybe we could take them some of her toys because she thought that might make them happy. I was so proud and blown away. That kid amazes me.

I was a little concerned that a homeless shelter might be scary for her and the community outreach places I called had a minimum age requirement of 10. So for our birthday community service project she’s making cards and we’re going to go visit a few nursing homes. I think that’s a good place to start – I think the residents will like it and she’ll have a blast. I’m pretty excited about it.

And I’ve decided we’ll do that each year – a little project on our special day. What better way to celebrate your life than to help enrich someone else’s? It’s amazing what my kids teach me…

Dry Me A River

So did you know that the hand dryers in restrooms can be used for more than just drying hands? I may have possibly discovered that this weekend when I had a kid with wet pants and no change of clothes. I won't be claiming my Mom of the Year award anytime soon but it sure beats walking around with a kid with wet pants.

Oh wait. Did I say walking around? My bad - I meant carrying around a kid with wet pants. Because it kinda works like this: kid has accident, kid gets upset, kid wants to be held.

And then you both end up covered in pee and upset.

I've never been so relieved to discover a bathroom without paper towels in my life. Although I'm not sure the salesgirl who had to wait outside the restroom appreciated it as much...

Flashback

I'm in a nostalgic mood...

Today at work I had a surprise visit from a guy I went to high school with. I didn't really know him in high school; I guess I technically don't really know him now. FB has managed to not only connect old friends but kinda create some too. We're "friends" through FB so we kinda keep up with each other that way. He enrolled at the college I work at so he stopped in to say hello.

It was kinda strange. First, it's kinda weird to visit with someone that I've never spent any time with and really don't know yet I know intimate details of his life - what he ate for breakfast, what movie he just watched, who he went to the bar with, and fact that he couldn't sleep last night. So we don't know each other but we're past the point of the typical get-to-know-you chit chat. It's a weird in-between phase.

Second, he talked about a whole bunch of people from high school that I didn't know or hang out with like I knew them or that they knew me. Ugh, no. I was the nerdy girl, remember? But the stories made me thankful that I'm not still living in high school mode. At one point he was telling me about someone who was playing them against each other and trying to "break up the crew". Yes, that was a direct quote.

Third, I'm pretty sure he tried to bait me about my former roommate. The one I told you about here, that said some pretty unpleasant things about me. He just mentioned her very casually in passing and then said he thought she said we lived together. He was kinda vague so I just responded in general and without going into detail just said we weren't friends anymore, that we kinda had a falling out but without a fight or any arguing - we just kinda grew apart but with a negative twist.

He told me she thought she was kinda unstable, he had sent her a text asking her to not post something on his FB, she went ballistic and yada yada yada. But I was immediately surprised - they were good enough friends to text? Because he totally just made it sound very just-happened-to-run-into-her kinda thing. And then later he actually told me that they had lived together.

What?!? Then I'm sure you already know that we aren't friends. And if history repeats itself, then you probably heard some kinda crappy things said about me too. I was totally being baited. That bothers me. I mean, really, what - you want me to say something negative so you can run back and tell her? Or you want me to try to defend myself and launch into "my" version of the story? I'm sorry but I'm so over all that.


But it did make me think about her and our failed friendship. That's so hard for me - I guess I just expect to always have a relationship with the people I let in my life and it's tough when I don't. It's weird to me to care for someone and then not to care about them at all. And really, honestly, I don't think I can. I always care about people from my past in some way. Even the boyfriend who dumped me two weeks before my senior prom - the exact day I finished paying for all my prom stuff. Yes, DN, buried somewhere deep down there's even a little tiny bit of care for you.

She Stinks

My kid stinks!

Not like the normal dirty kid, playing outside kind of stink. No. This is full-fledged, legitimate, body odor. Should this be happening at six?  It seems so early. I didn't think that starting happening until puberty...And the thought of her starting to wear deodorant at this age just kinda freaks me out.

Actually, the whole thing kinda freaks me out.

The faint peach fuzz I saw under her arms during bath time - it couldn't possibly be real armpit hair, could it?  Could it?

I am not ready for BO, armpit hair, or boobies. NOT. READY.