Hummm...

I've been in a reflective and somber mood today. Not sure why. Maybe the weather? Whatever the reason, I have been thinking about old friends who have passed through my life...

It's weird to have friendships that fail. We don't typically think about the ending of friendships in the same way that we do the ending of a romantic relationship but in essence, it's exactly the same. Sometimes even more difficult.

We invite people in, ask them to share our lives, want to share in theirs...really, there's a lot of intimacy in that...and sometimes it kinda stinks when it ends. And so today these old friends were floating through my mind...

I had a Relay For Life meeting tonight. We have one night to fight back, honor those who have passed, and celebrate those that have survived. It's a night that I hope will make a difference, even a small one. We've got an amazing team - I have done very little to help but they have been so patient and understanding with me and I am thankful to be able to participate.

I love the event, love raising money for such a great cause. But man, it is so hard to think about all the people that have lost to cancer. It's overwhelming. And terrifying. Cancer is vicious. I look at my baby girls and thank God that they are healthy. I simply can't fathom the pain of watching my child fight something like this...When I got home I put M to bed and she asked me to rock her. She hasn't done that in at least two years, it was really random but completely perfect. I scooped up this 35 pound girl whose body is almost as long as mine and I rocked her - just grateful that I have another day to enjoy a healthy child.

To save this from being a completely solemn rambling I would also like to share that I did workout this morning. Strength training day. Those have become my favorites - it's beginning to feel like a day off. Last night I was like thank goodness tomorrow is weights...it's such a relief from cardio. I only like cardio once it's over.

And I will end with...

Bad Mommy Confession #1205: With the exception of new packages of markers and travel cups, the items for the girls Easter baskets were recycled from the Easter baskets my Mother-in-law made them last year. Yes, I gave my kids re-gifted Easter baskets.