I Might Be Pregnant

Okay, actually there is no way in hell that I am pregnant but I have had some random, crazy cravings tonight. As I was cooking dinner (Chinese beef and broccoli) I opened the fridge and saw a jar of sweet midget pickles (insert short joke here) and they looked SO good and I wanted one SO bad. But since I was making dinner I resisted. But then about 10 minutes later I had an overwhelming desire for cereal. I mean really, I had to have it and I had to have it right then. That I could not resist. I got one of M2's baby bowls and had some and the  milk was soooooo good. And I don't even like milk. But I could have drank half a gallon if I would have let myself.  And then after dinner I had some pickles. See, doesn't that scream pregnant? But I'm not. And yes, I'm sure.

I have spent all night cleaning the house. I'm in super clean mode - scrubbing the oven with a toothbrush mode. I do that when I'm pissed or stressed or upset. And sometimes just for the heck of it. But usually when I am upset.  And tonight I am upset. Well, not really upset...but my heart is heavy. It's not anything I can share - it involves a student and a disciplinary matter. It's big and will impact the student in a significant way. I've really struggled with it.  I know what occurred was unacceptable and needed to be addressed - to me it's something that can't be tolerated. But there is also a tremendous amount of pressure from being responsible for impacting someone's life in such a way. I don't have a lot of tolerance for unethical behavior - if it's wrong, it's wrong and needs to be addressed and dealt with. And I realize I need to operate that way in order to effectively run this program. But it's never fun and it's never easy.

In addition to feeling bad about what will happen to this student I am also  feeling a lot of anxiety because I'm expecting some confrontation tomorrow. I hate confrontation. I guess everyone does. Not too many people wake up thinking "Gonna have a great confrontation today!"  I can do serious, I can do uncomfortable but trying to deal with someone who is irrational and hyped up on emotion is something else. And it may not even be an issue, I'm hoping it won't  be but I feel like I have to get prepared just in case.

The positive is that my house is clean. So that's a plus. This is especially nice since Morgan's party is this weekend. We're not having it here, no one is going to see the house at all but since we'll be busy it's nice to have it done already. Especially since the week has been a little crazy and I've been slacking big time. We were gone all day yesterday on our birthday date. We took M to see Cars 2 in 3D. The movie was pretty cute. I've never seen Cars so I wasn't sure if I would like it or not.  The 3D was eh. I don't think it was worth the extra money - there just didn't seem to be that many effects. The 3D previews were awesome. They are releasing Lion King in 3D and that looked amazing...I guess I was just expecting the same effects. And M didn't want to keep her glasses on. She said they made everything blurry. That probably would have concerned me except I took them and put them on and they were blurry. Blurry from popcorn butter fingerprints.  She must have touched every inch of those glasses. We had a super good time. But she wanted to pick M2 up from school - she really, really missed her. She's such a great big sister. When we got in the car the other day M told her "I love you so much M2. I love you so much I can't stop thinking about you." She's not dramatic or anything...  So we picked up sister and went swimming. We hadn't been swimming since July 4th. It's interesting - when you can swim any time you want, you don't swim as often as you would think. It was fun for the kids though. Not so much for me. Benny had to run an errand so I was solo. It's a lot to handle when you're in a pool and outnumbered.

Tonight M got in trouble and when we were discussing it I was outlining my expectations and I said "M, you are five years old blah,blah,blah..." and she got this look on her face, kinda smiled and said "I'm five years old? I'm five?"  So after our conversation I said "M, your birthday was yesterday. Remember?" and she said "Yeah, I know it was my birthday but I didn't know I was five!" and she was so super excited. And then she looked at me kinda confused and said "Why was there not cake at my birthday yesterday?" Oh baby, if it was up to your Mommy there would be cake everyday!












Favorite thing to do is play with my phone and take pictures. That gets interesting sometimes.

Her favorite shoes. She wore them all day.

Obsessed with shoes. Wonder where she gets that?