So my last post wasn't meant to be ominous or dramatic or alarming...it really wasn't meant to be much of anything. Originally I was ranting about a Mom from our daycare who wears her "B" crown with pride. I actually think she puts effort into trying to be that way. She's just a rude person in general - doesn't acknowledge a hello or return a smile...that kind of stuff. She does it to everybody. Whatever, I'm not in it to make friends so I just keep smiling and move on. But she was rude to my kid and that just makes me mad...of course, it was subtle and M didn't have a clue but still...really?
So my big rant was condensed to "some people suck" - which really says it all.
Finalized a car deal tonight. I think. I guess it's never really finalized until everything is signed. They are ordering it for us so we actually can't sign anything until it gets to the lot...they think by Saturday. We shall see...I'm not getting excited until it's all done. But I am happy to have a new ride, we desperately need one. And I'm glad the process is over, not that I really had to do anything - Benny handled almost all of that.
I did get to actually close the deal, or at least I'm giving myself credit for it! We walked out and left, grabbed some food, went to another dealership and they couldn't even come close. So I made the call and negotiated that they throw in tinted windows. I know it isn't a lot, it will hardly cost them anything, but it was exciting to be in on the negotiations. That's not usually my turf...
I know this sounds funny but I honestly can't remember if I worked out this morning or not...I was thinking I did but then thought maybe I didn't...now I'm not sure. My mornings are blurring together....although now that I'm thinking I remember that no, I did not. M got in our bed late last night (bad dream) and it threw me off...or just gave me a really good excuse to sleep in. And then of course we didn't get home until late messing with the car stuff...
That's okay. I'll just put on my "Out of Shape, Good Mommy With Dependable Car" crown...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Rotten
I had a whole blog typed out but then I really thought about it and deleted everything because I think it can all be summed up with a simple phrase - some people suck.
If you don't suck then you know exactly what I'm talking about and you share my annoyance with sucky people.
If you do suck - get it together and stop. Now.
If you don't suck then you know exactly what I'm talking about and you share my annoyance with sucky people.
If you do suck - get it together and stop. Now.
Reality Bites
Workout reports: Strength training yesterday and semi-cardio this morning. I decided not to do my treadmill track, thought I would just run. That was a miss. I should have stuck to the plan! I just don't have the stamina or speed to really run like I want to. No worries, I'll get there eventually. But dang, it's tough to come to terms with the fact that I am slow and out of shape! In my mind I'm some kind of super runner and I'm always slightly disappointed when reality shows up to blow that away.
Four more workout days...I'm thinking I got this!
Four more workout days...I'm thinking I got this!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Lazy Reports
Workout reports: I ended up taking Saturday off too. I was afraid that would happen...I say that as if I didn't have any control and I know that isn't true. I just didn't get it in.
Today starts a new week and I'm already treading in dangerous water - I didn't workout out today either. Logically, I know it isn't wise to start the week of workouts with my one day off...but that's where I am.
It's always challenging for me to get workouts done on the weekends but this one was especially difficult because we had a lot going on and we were gone most the time. Not to mention I am not feeling real well - this is day three of antibiotics so I'm hoping by tomorrow I'll be back 100 percent. But I'm working out regardless.
I tried, unsuccessfully, to change the headlight in my vehicle tonight. It was a bit frustrating. I was getting ready to take the trash out when I realized how much daylight was left. My headlight has been out for a while and it needs to be done so I thought I would give it a shot. The trouble is that I'm not mechanically inclined. And I say that without shame - it's just not something I'm good at. Much like anything athletic.
So it took me a minute to figure out what to do and then it took me a minute to find what I needed to do it. I did manage to get the headlight unit out. Then I wasn't sure if I should disconnect the electrical or if I could do it with everything still attached. And by that time it was pretty much dark. Now we own about 5 flashlights but all of them have disappeared so I was really just out of luck. Even if I would have known what to do I couldn't see anything. So I ended up just having to put the headlight unit right back in!
I should have just stuck to the laundry...
I'm off to bed...I've got an early morning date with my workout that I can't miss!
Today starts a new week and I'm already treading in dangerous water - I didn't workout out today either. Logically, I know it isn't wise to start the week of workouts with my one day off...but that's where I am.
It's always challenging for me to get workouts done on the weekends but this one was especially difficult because we had a lot going on and we were gone most the time. Not to mention I am not feeling real well - this is day three of antibiotics so I'm hoping by tomorrow I'll be back 100 percent. But I'm working out regardless.
I tried, unsuccessfully, to change the headlight in my vehicle tonight. It was a bit frustrating. I was getting ready to take the trash out when I realized how much daylight was left. My headlight has been out for a while and it needs to be done so I thought I would give it a shot. The trouble is that I'm not mechanically inclined. And I say that without shame - it's just not something I'm good at. Much like anything athletic.
So it took me a minute to figure out what to do and then it took me a minute to find what I needed to do it. I did manage to get the headlight unit out. Then I wasn't sure if I should disconnect the electrical or if I could do it with everything still attached. And by that time it was pretty much dark. Now we own about 5 flashlights but all of them have disappeared so I was really just out of luck. Even if I would have known what to do I couldn't see anything. So I ended up just having to put the headlight unit right back in!
I should have just stuck to the laundry...
I'm off to bed...I've got an early morning date with my workout that I can't miss!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Goodbye Old Friend
Well, I certainly didn't intend for it to be but yesterday (Day 5) was my day off. It's a long story and I will spare you the details. But my day off is gone. BOOOO
Cardio this morning - same track. I know I need to bump it up, it's embarrassing that I'm counting that as cardio. Next week I'll move to track 2. It's not quite as embarrassing.
I don't think I shared this on the other reports but I also did abs - 200 various style crunches (10 sets, 20 crunches each). That's something I really like about the P90 - the ab workout. It's fast and intense, so it only hurts for a minute! Plus it's an area where I really need a lot of work so it makes me feel good to think that I may actually see some progress.
We're car shopping tonight. Our car is so old and worn out, we need a new one badly. I am a bit sad though because I get nostalgic about silly things. It's weird because I can't really imagine not having that car...Benny bought it for me when we were dating. I say "bought" - he financed it in his name (he had better credit) and I made the payments. That's when I knew he loved me...it was huge for him to do that for me.
And we've had so many great experiences in that car - our first roadtrip together, driving off after our wedding, bringing M home from the hospital... And we've driven that thing all over - a lot of really great memories.
It got stolen once, taken in the middle of the night right from our house. It was such a crazy experience, the first time I had ever had anything stolen. Benny's nieces were visiting us and we were taking them home that morning. His oldest niece, only 9 at the time, couldn't find her hair bow and he sent her out to look for it in the car. She opened the front door, looked out and said the car wasn't there. But she was 9 and wasn't real motivated - "looking" for her bow consisted of her walking around in circles saying "I can't find it." - so Benny got irritated with her, thought she was being lazy and sent her out to the car again. This time she actually walked outside and came back and said the same thing. Then we knew. We walked outside and there was an empty space with broken glass where my car had been. It was surreal.
The police officer told us that it was one of the most stolen vehicles and that we would not, most likely, get it back. So we piled in Benny's truck (the second most stolen vehicle, we were told) and made the three hour drive to take the girls home and figured we would never see that car again.
Two days later I had a job interview for a program I had discovered called Student Support Services. I really, really wanted the job so I ignored the issues with the car and focused my energy educating and preparing myself so that I could get that job. On the eve of my job interview, at 2:00 in the morning our phone rang. It was the police. They had recovered my vehicle and needed me to come pick it up immediately or it would be towed, at my expense. I was so ramped up - I was happy that they had my car but nervous too because I had no idea what to expect...I kinda imagined it had been in a chop shop and would be a stripped down to a shell.
They were loading the suspects up as we arrived. Which really was not a good thing because seeing them just made me 10 times more angry. And when I walked over to my car I kicked something...I look down and it's a gun. It was craziness.
My car was in one piece but it was pretty trashed. The body of the car was a wreck and the interior had been slashed with a knife and burned with a lighter...just stupid. It was so much to process, my adrenaline was in overdrive. And it took us so long...I never went back to sleep. I did, however, manage to pull myself together for the interview. And I told myself that if I could nail this interview after that kind of night I would never have to worry about interviewing again...
So yes, it's silly to have an emotional attachment to a car but I kinda do...and I'm kinda sad that it's her time to go....
Cardio this morning - same track. I know I need to bump it up, it's embarrassing that I'm counting that as cardio. Next week I'll move to track 2. It's not quite as embarrassing.
I don't think I shared this on the other reports but I also did abs - 200 various style crunches (10 sets, 20 crunches each). That's something I really like about the P90 - the ab workout. It's fast and intense, so it only hurts for a minute! Plus it's an area where I really need a lot of work so it makes me feel good to think that I may actually see some progress.
We're car shopping tonight. Our car is so old and worn out, we need a new one badly. I am a bit sad though because I get nostalgic about silly things. It's weird because I can't really imagine not having that car...Benny bought it for me when we were dating. I say "bought" - he financed it in his name (he had better credit) and I made the payments. That's when I knew he loved me...it was huge for him to do that for me.
And we've had so many great experiences in that car - our first roadtrip together, driving off after our wedding, bringing M home from the hospital... And we've driven that thing all over - a lot of really great memories.
It got stolen once, taken in the middle of the night right from our house. It was such a crazy experience, the first time I had ever had anything stolen. Benny's nieces were visiting us and we were taking them home that morning. His oldest niece, only 9 at the time, couldn't find her hair bow and he sent her out to look for it in the car. She opened the front door, looked out and said the car wasn't there. But she was 9 and wasn't real motivated - "looking" for her bow consisted of her walking around in circles saying "I can't find it." - so Benny got irritated with her, thought she was being lazy and sent her out to the car again. This time she actually walked outside and came back and said the same thing. Then we knew. We walked outside and there was an empty space with broken glass where my car had been. It was surreal.
The police officer told us that it was one of the most stolen vehicles and that we would not, most likely, get it back. So we piled in Benny's truck (the second most stolen vehicle, we were told) and made the three hour drive to take the girls home and figured we would never see that car again.
Two days later I had a job interview for a program I had discovered called Student Support Services. I really, really wanted the job so I ignored the issues with the car and focused my energy educating and preparing myself so that I could get that job. On the eve of my job interview, at 2:00 in the morning our phone rang. It was the police. They had recovered my vehicle and needed me to come pick it up immediately or it would be towed, at my expense. I was so ramped up - I was happy that they had my car but nervous too because I had no idea what to expect...I kinda imagined it had been in a chop shop and would be a stripped down to a shell.
They were loading the suspects up as we arrived. Which really was not a good thing because seeing them just made me 10 times more angry. And when I walked over to my car I kicked something...I look down and it's a gun. It was craziness.
My car was in one piece but it was pretty trashed. The body of the car was a wreck and the interior had been slashed with a knife and burned with a lighter...just stupid. It was so much to process, my adrenaline was in overdrive. And it took us so long...I never went back to sleep. I did, however, manage to pull myself together for the interview. And I told myself that if I could nail this interview after that kind of night I would never have to worry about interviewing again...
So yes, it's silly to have an emotional attachment to a car but I kinda do...and I'm kinda sad that it's her time to go....
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Spinning Round & Day 4 Report
Guess whose alarm didn't go off for the 3rd day in a row! It really is getting ridiculous!
Evening workout was strength training - same stats as last time. Yay for staying on track!
I honestly felt like just letting it go. I have been crazy busy at work this week. I feel like I'm always saying that but man, it's just true. And I wonder if it will always be this crazy...and if it is, can I manage that?
I'm super, super pumped that I've stuck to the workouts...especially because all I've really wanted to do is find the couch and veg out. Pretty sure that's where I'm going to be on Saturday!
Evening workout was strength training - same stats as last time. Yay for staying on track!
I honestly felt like just letting it go. I have been crazy busy at work this week. I feel like I'm always saying that but man, it's just true. And I wonder if it will always be this crazy...and if it is, can I manage that?
I'm super, super pumped that I've stuck to the workouts...especially because all I've really wanted to do is find the couch and veg out. Pretty sure that's where I'm going to be on Saturday!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Day 3 Report
Cardio done!
Same stats as last time - I'm doing a pre-programmed track from my treadmill so it won't vary until I move up to the next track. Which should be late next week. Maybe.
It was an easier run, which is good because it's really barely running. But for someone out of shape it's just good to get moving, even if it is slow.
And instead of being discouraged that I am basically having to start all over, I am encouraged that I'm doing it at all. It's better to do something than to do nothing, right?
Same stats as last time - I'm doing a pre-programmed track from my treadmill so it won't vary until I move up to the next track. Which should be late next week. Maybe.
It was an easier run, which is good because it's really barely running. But for someone out of shape it's just good to get moving, even if it is slow.
And instead of being discouraged that I am basically having to start all over, I am encouraged that I'm doing it at all. It's better to do something than to do nothing, right?
Highly Suspect
I think...no, I'm pretty sure I know, that I'm being sabotaged. This morning, for the second day in a row, my alarm did not go off.
Monday, it simply didn't go off at all. I discovered that it had been set for p.m. instead of a.m. Okay. That happens. I guess.
So that evening I took special care to make sure it was set and ready to go. I tripled checked it. I went to bed prepared to get up at the crack of dawn and meet my tormentor, the treadmill. I was ready.
Except, that didn't happen.
This morning I rolled over and looked at the clock and...thirty minutes late. AGAIN. It turns out my dear husband changed the alarm clock and set it back 40 minutes later. As a favor. So we could sleep in.
Except, I'm not sleeping in - I'm trying to get this workout thing going again.
So okay, I worked out last night so he thought I wasn't working out this the morning. Guess he didn't get the memo that it's suppose to be an everyday thing.
I've been debating all night whether I should take this as my one day off or just try to run after dinner. I would rather save my day off for Saturday so I can sleep in a little and be thoroughly lazy.
I wanted to wait a few hours after we ate before I ran...which would be just about now. But just as I'm thinking I'm going to go put on my running clothes he walks in with my two favorite candy bars and tells me that I can have first choice...Pure. Evil.
I am going to run though. Really, I'm going to run and then I'll report back like the good girl I am.
But I'm not making any promises about the candy bar...
Monday, it simply didn't go off at all. I discovered that it had been set for p.m. instead of a.m. Okay. That happens. I guess.
So that evening I took special care to make sure it was set and ready to go. I tripled checked it. I went to bed prepared to get up at the crack of dawn and meet my tormentor, the treadmill. I was ready.
Except, that didn't happen.
This morning I rolled over and looked at the clock and...thirty minutes late. AGAIN. It turns out my dear husband changed the alarm clock and set it back 40 minutes later. As a favor. So we could sleep in.
Except, I'm not sleeping in - I'm trying to get this workout thing going again.
So okay, I worked out last night so he thought I wasn't working out this the morning. Guess he didn't get the memo that it's suppose to be an everyday thing.
I've been debating all night whether I should take this as my one day off or just try to run after dinner. I would rather save my day off for Saturday so I can sleep in a little and be thoroughly lazy.
I wanted to wait a few hours after we ate before I ran...which would be just about now. But just as I'm thinking I'm going to go put on my running clothes he walks in with my two favorite candy bars and tells me that I can have first choice...Pure. Evil.
I am going to run though. Really, I'm going to run and then I'll report back like the good girl I am.
But I'm not making any promises about the candy bar...
Monday, August 22, 2011
Day 2 Report
Wasn't sure if I was going to make it...had the alarm set bright and early but I woke up and rolled over and I was already 30 minutes behind schedule. Are you kidding me? Really, the alarm didn't go off? That didn't happen once the entire month that I stopped working out. No problem, just have to fit it into the evening, right? Then I'm dealing with stresses at work, get home do dinner, baths and bedtime and I'm not feeling well...the very last thing I wanted to do was workout. BUT I pulled it together and got it done...
Here is what I spent the last 50 minutes of my life doing:
Pushups:
20 Decline
20 Fly
7 each Wide/Tri/Standard
5 pound weight, 15 reps for each set (don't laugh, I'm out of shape!)
Back:
Heavy Pants
Back Flys
Lawnmower
Shoulders:
Military Press
Swimmers Press
Shoulder Flys
Biceps:
Standard Curl
Wide Open Curl
21's
Triceps:
One Arm Raise
Kick-Backs
Dips (20 reps)
Legs:
10 lunges
10 lunge/squat (5 squats with each set)
36 Three Part Squats (12 of each)
20 Calf Raises
Lower Back:
5 Body Raises (5 seconds each)
It's really obvious (especially on my body) that I need to get some chest incorporated in my routine. It's strange that it's not already included, since I'm doing the P90 video. You would think that would just be a part of it...however, that will be a task to add later. For right now I'm just concentrating on getting through the next 90 days without getting off track.
Wish me luck folks, I'm gonna need it!
Here is what I spent the last 50 minutes of my life doing:
Pushups:
20 Decline
20 Fly
7 each Wide/Tri/Standard
5 pound weight, 15 reps for each set (don't laugh, I'm out of shape!)
Back:
Heavy Pants
Back Flys
Lawnmower
Shoulders:
Military Press
Swimmers Press
Shoulder Flys
Biceps:
Standard Curl
Wide Open Curl
21's
Triceps:
One Arm Raise
Kick-Backs
Dips (20 reps)
Legs:
10 lunges
10 lunge/squat (5 squats with each set)
36 Three Part Squats (12 of each)
20 Calf Raises
Lower Back:
5 Body Raises (5 seconds each)
It's really obvious (especially on my body) that I need to get some chest incorporated in my routine. It's strange that it's not already included, since I'm doing the P90 video. You would think that would just be a part of it...however, that will be a task to add later. For right now I'm just concentrating on getting through the next 90 days without getting off track.
Wish me luck folks, I'm gonna need it!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Day 1 Report
Cardio:
20 minutes on the treadmill, 1.15 mile run, high pace 4.0
10 minute cool down
My pace was way low. It really shouldn't take 20 minutes to run a mile. At that pace it would take me over an hour to run a 5K. The first 5K I ever ran I got done in 29:11. Not impressive but a whole heck of a lot better than an hour.
But I'm grateful I got in a whole mile, I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to do that. According to the calendar, July 6 was the last time I ran. It's amazing how quickly the body will lose its stamina. But on the other side, it doesn't take too long to get it back either...
I feel so good I got that out of the way - it's a giant step towards getting on the right path. I'm going to do abs as soon as the tv is free and day one will be complete!
20 minutes on the treadmill, 1.15 mile run, high pace 4.0
10 minute cool down
My pace was way low. It really shouldn't take 20 minutes to run a mile. At that pace it would take me over an hour to run a 5K. The first 5K I ever ran I got done in 29:11. Not impressive but a whole heck of a lot better than an hour.
But I'm grateful I got in a whole mile, I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to do that. According to the calendar, July 6 was the last time I ran. It's amazing how quickly the body will lose its stamina. But on the other side, it doesn't take too long to get it back either...
I feel so good I got that out of the way - it's a giant step towards getting on the right path. I'm going to do abs as soon as the tv is free and day one will be complete!
Two Steps And Back Again
Since I'm an eternal optimist I will start with the positives:
Since November I've been trying to incorporate a workout routine. Since January I have given up regular sodas and replaced that SERIOUS addiction with diet soda. Over the past 9 months I have lost about 18 pounds.
The negatives:
My workout routine has been spotty and gotten progressively worse. During the last two months I only got a few workouts in and over the last four weeks have done nothing. I am drinking diet but I'm drinking way too much soda, period. I should be drinking more water. I've managed to gain back 4 pounds. It's not a whole lot but it's a gain. And even worse is the fact that since I'm short, 4 pounds is a lot for my frame and probably looks more like 8-10 pounds.
But most alarming is this: While you don't get fat overnight, it feels like you do. It creeps on slowly, so slowly that you don't even notice. Then one day you glance in the mirror or see a photo of yourself and it takes you back, catches you off guard and you think to yourself "What the HELL happened to me?" It's a pound here and a pound there and then BAM, before you know it's 20.
At least with me....
So 4 pounds isn't a huge deal but it's enough to make me want to get serious. And since this is the first day of the week, I'll start with cardio this evening.
And I do want to clarify that it's not about weight or about being skinny. As cliche as it sounds, it really is about being fit and being in shape. I'm too young to be as lumpy and soft as I am...It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my body, I just recognize there are areas that could use some improvement and if I strive to improve myself in every other way, why should I ignore my body?
I've made the decision to post some pictures. I've really struggled with whether I should post these or not. One I posted (to show off my super fabulous bikini bottom find) but then I removed it. I go back and forth between who cares, this is my body and it is what it is...and ooohhh, I just don't know if I want everyone in the world to have access to that much of me. It does make me feel super vulnerable to be so exposed.
But I'm doing it. For two reasons - to help keep me accountable and to reminded of the reason I'm working out. So these are my before pictures and in 90 days (I'm doing p90) I will post my after shots. Technically, these are my after/before shots because I was bigger than this when I started.
I apologize about the quality of the photos. I didn't do any editing to them to make them dark or grainy (although it probably helps) they were taken in a mirror so they just aren't that clear...
So these really are my before/after shots. I bought these pants last September, for the job interview I had for the position I now have. When I bought these they sat right at my waist and were snug through my lower pouch...in fact, I was a little worried that they looked too tight. While I'm not discounting the progress I have made, I would like to tone my tummy and back. This is especially evident in the second picture where my middle looks really thick and you can see the bulge under my bra on my back.
These next two pictures are a little more revealing. Again, it's evident that the tummy needs some firming and in these photos you can see that my thighs are kinda jiggly (especially the left one, which for some odd reason is bigger) and there is a little bulge of fat underneath the sides of the bathing suit top.
Okay, so now I'm out there. All of me. Well, as much of me that I'll ever share! First day of the week, first day of working out on this new routine. I'm giving myself 90 days to make a difference and see what I can do....and I'm committing to keeping it real!
Since November I've been trying to incorporate a workout routine. Since January I have given up regular sodas and replaced that SERIOUS addiction with diet soda. Over the past 9 months I have lost about 18 pounds.
The negatives:
My workout routine has been spotty and gotten progressively worse. During the last two months I only got a few workouts in and over the last four weeks have done nothing. I am drinking diet but I'm drinking way too much soda, period. I should be drinking more water. I've managed to gain back 4 pounds. It's not a whole lot but it's a gain. And even worse is the fact that since I'm short, 4 pounds is a lot for my frame and probably looks more like 8-10 pounds.
But most alarming is this: While you don't get fat overnight, it feels like you do. It creeps on slowly, so slowly that you don't even notice. Then one day you glance in the mirror or see a photo of yourself and it takes you back, catches you off guard and you think to yourself "What the HELL happened to me?" It's a pound here and a pound there and then BAM, before you know it's 20.
At least with me....
So 4 pounds isn't a huge deal but it's enough to make me want to get serious. And since this is the first day of the week, I'll start with cardio this evening.
And I do want to clarify that it's not about weight or about being skinny. As cliche as it sounds, it really is about being fit and being in shape. I'm too young to be as lumpy and soft as I am...It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my body, I just recognize there are areas that could use some improvement and if I strive to improve myself in every other way, why should I ignore my body?
I've made the decision to post some pictures. I've really struggled with whether I should post these or not. One I posted (to show off my super fabulous bikini bottom find) but then I removed it. I go back and forth between who cares, this is my body and it is what it is...and ooohhh, I just don't know if I want everyone in the world to have access to that much of me. It does make me feel super vulnerable to be so exposed.
But I'm doing it. For two reasons - to help keep me accountable and to reminded of the reason I'm working out. So these are my before pictures and in 90 days (I'm doing p90) I will post my after shots. Technically, these are my after/before shots because I was bigger than this when I started.
I apologize about the quality of the photos. I didn't do any editing to them to make them dark or grainy (although it probably helps) they were taken in a mirror so they just aren't that clear...
So these really are my before/after shots. I bought these pants last September, for the job interview I had for the position I now have. When I bought these they sat right at my waist and were snug through my lower pouch...in fact, I was a little worried that they looked too tight. While I'm not discounting the progress I have made, I would like to tone my tummy and back. This is especially evident in the second picture where my middle looks really thick and you can see the bulge under my bra on my back.
These next two pictures are a little more revealing. Again, it's evident that the tummy needs some firming and in these photos you can see that my thighs are kinda jiggly (especially the left one, which for some odd reason is bigger) and there is a little bulge of fat underneath the sides of the bathing suit top.
Okay, so now I'm out there. All of me. Well, as much of me that I'll ever share! First day of the week, first day of working out on this new routine. I'm giving myself 90 days to make a difference and see what I can do....and I'm committing to keeping it real!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Made It
We made it through our first day of Kindergarten unscathed. M had no problems and I only teared up about 20 times. Success for everyone!
Another milestone down...
Since we're in Kindergarten mode I will share a quote I recently heard by Wendy Kaminer -"Only people who die very young learn all they really need to know in kindergarten."
I think she's right. Sometimes I think we just get so grown up and lost in the mess of life that we just don't see the lessons. I hope I never stop learning, I hope I never get so busy or so complacent that I don't take the time to just stop and see. Here are some things I've learned just in the last year:
-Sometimes it really stinks to be the boss.
-Baggy underwear can ruin an otherwise perfectly good day.
-What someone does has way more meaning than what they say.
-There is a country song for every mood and every situation.
-Some people never learned how to play nice. I wish I could put them in time out.
-Wearing high heels makes me happy. Red heels make me even happier.
-Some mistakes are hard to recover from.
-My friends love me, in spite of myself.
-I'm better at some things than I thought I would be. This surprises me.
-I'm not as good at some things as I expected to be. This disappoints me.
-It's called the high road because it takes effort in order to reach it.
-No one ever outgrows growing pains.
-Baked Doritos taste as bad as they sound.
-You know someone really gets you when they can hear your sarcasm over text.
-It's possible for Wordfeud games to last multiple days.
-Life is only as good as you make it.
Another milestone down...
Since we're in Kindergarten mode I will share a quote I recently heard by Wendy Kaminer -"Only people who die very young learn all they really need to know in kindergarten."
I think she's right. Sometimes I think we just get so grown up and lost in the mess of life that we just don't see the lessons. I hope I never stop learning, I hope I never get so busy or so complacent that I don't take the time to just stop and see. Here are some things I've learned just in the last year:
-Sometimes it really stinks to be the boss.
-Baggy underwear can ruin an otherwise perfectly good day.
-What someone does has way more meaning than what they say.
-There is a country song for every mood and every situation.
-Some people never learned how to play nice. I wish I could put them in time out.
-Wearing high heels makes me happy. Red heels make me even happier.
-Some mistakes are hard to recover from.
-My friends love me, in spite of myself.
-I'm better at some things than I thought I would be. This surprises me.
-I'm not as good at some things as I expected to be. This disappoints me.
-It's called the high road because it takes effort in order to reach it.
-No one ever outgrows growing pains.
-Baked Doritos taste as bad as they sound.
-You know someone really gets you when they can hear your sarcasm over text.
-It's possible for Wordfeud games to last multiple days.
-Life is only as good as you make it.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Certified Club Member
Today was a big day - we met M's Kindergarten teacher. She seemed very friendly, very nice, and very "kindergarteny".
I'm just not so sure I'm ready for it. I know part of that is my inability to let her go - she's growing up way too fast for me. But there is also some legitimate concern - she'll be riding a bus...she will have to get off the bus and find her room...retrieve her breakfast card from the wall... make her way downstairs to the cafeteria...give her breakfast card to the lunch lady...listen for the class bell...make her way back upstairs to her classroom.
It just seems like a lot for a 5 year old. I mean, geez, we've barely got wiping our own bottom down and now she's expected to run all over the school by herself? We practiced today and she did fine but there also weren't a bunch of other kids there either and I think it may be confusing when the halls are filled with people...I mean, all the classes really do look alike.
Yes, I realize the teachers will be there. Yes, I realize they will help her. I guess my real concern is that moment when she does get turned around, lost and confused, and she feels that overwhelming sense of helplessness and fright and I. Won't. Be. There.
And what she'll want more than anything is her Mommy.
It just kills me.
You know, no one ever tells you that side of parenthood. No one ever prepares you for the fear and worry. They don't tell you how fiercely you'll want to protect your children from ever feeling scared or unhappy. And they certainly don't tell you how much your heart will hurt when you realize you can't.
They also don't tell you how bad it smells when you get just a teeny tiny drop of spit-up on your shoulder while making a daycare drop off and how horrible it is to have to smell it all day long. And know that other people can smell it too. So all day you feel compelled to explain to people that no, you didn't eat anything rotten and that yes, your digestive tract is just fine - it was just a parting gift from your little bundle of joy.
Yep, there are lots of dirty little secrets in the parent club...
I'm just not so sure I'm ready for it. I know part of that is my inability to let her go - she's growing up way too fast for me. But there is also some legitimate concern - she'll be riding a bus...she will have to get off the bus and find her room...retrieve her breakfast card from the wall... make her way downstairs to the cafeteria...give her breakfast card to the lunch lady...listen for the class bell...make her way back upstairs to her classroom.
It just seems like a lot for a 5 year old. I mean, geez, we've barely got wiping our own bottom down and now she's expected to run all over the school by herself? We practiced today and she did fine but there also weren't a bunch of other kids there either and I think it may be confusing when the halls are filled with people...I mean, all the classes really do look alike.
Yes, I realize the teachers will be there. Yes, I realize they will help her. I guess my real concern is that moment when she does get turned around, lost and confused, and she feels that overwhelming sense of helplessness and fright and I. Won't. Be. There.
And what she'll want more than anything is her Mommy.
It just kills me.
You know, no one ever tells you that side of parenthood. No one ever prepares you for the fear and worry. They don't tell you how fiercely you'll want to protect your children from ever feeling scared or unhappy. And they certainly don't tell you how much your heart will hurt when you realize you can't.
They also don't tell you how bad it smells when you get just a teeny tiny drop of spit-up on your shoulder while making a daycare drop off and how horrible it is to have to smell it all day long. And know that other people can smell it too. So all day you feel compelled to explain to people that no, you didn't eat anything rotten and that yes, your digestive tract is just fine - it was just a parting gift from your little bundle of joy.
Yep, there are lots of dirty little secrets in the parent club...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Gonna Take Something Stronger Than Calgone
Oh. My. God.
What a day!
Mentally exhausted from work and then I pick up the girls and they were just....savage. Wild, crazy little savages in pigtails.
I'm going to have to remember tomorrow to ask the daycare to not provide my children with 5 hour energy shots. Or whatever it was that entered their bodies that turned them into the screeching balls of energy that invaded my home and interrupted my sanity.
Speaking of sanity - what the heck is going on with Texas A&M wanting to move out of the Big 12 conference over to SEC? It's got me all wound up...really, it's ruining my pre-football buzz. I mean, I just don't like that our conference seems to be falling apart. Not that I'm pretending to know the in-depth impact of all things football but I do know I don't like it, not one bit.
And I had my first disappointment of the season - Benny called and said he was getting us tickets to the Texas Tech game. Am I in? Yeah, sure, always. You know that. Wait, what weekend is that again? Oh. Scratch that then - McKenzie's birthday weekend. Love my Sooners but I love my girl even more.
Even when she is a little monster....
What a day!
Mentally exhausted from work and then I pick up the girls and they were just....savage. Wild, crazy little savages in pigtails.
I'm going to have to remember tomorrow to ask the daycare to not provide my children with 5 hour energy shots. Or whatever it was that entered their bodies that turned them into the screeching balls of energy that invaded my home and interrupted my sanity.
Speaking of sanity - what the heck is going on with Texas A&M wanting to move out of the Big 12 conference over to SEC? It's got me all wound up...really, it's ruining my pre-football buzz. I mean, I just don't like that our conference seems to be falling apart. Not that I'm pretending to know the in-depth impact of all things football but I do know I don't like it, not one bit.
And I had my first disappointment of the season - Benny called and said he was getting us tickets to the Texas Tech game. Am I in? Yeah, sure, always. You know that. Wait, what weekend is that again? Oh. Scratch that then - McKenzie's birthday weekend. Love my Sooners but I love my girl even more.
Even when she is a little monster....
Sunday, August 14, 2011
An Open Letter To Monday
Dear Monday,
As the first day of the work week, I know you feel that I don't always have the same appreciation for you that I do the other days and I recognize that you are particularly jealous of my affection for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. While it is true that I do value those days greatly, it in no way diminishes your place. We've had our challenges but I want our relationship to be better - it's important to me that we understand each other. I want to open up the lines of communication by telling you how I feel.
While I am happy to see you; you arrive just a little too soon each week. I would appreciate it if you would let me spend just a little more time with Sunday. I know you're anxious for our time together, but I always feel just a bit cheated by your early arrival. Please stop rushing Sunday away.
I understand it's your job to get the week started but do you always have to go full blast? Could you save a few of the emails, phone calls, and other things for Tuesday? Or maybe even Wednesday? When one day brings so much to do it makes me feel overwhelmed and I begin to resent you.
It seems like a long time ago we used to have fun together. Now, it seems like you only want me to work. The other days bring me lunch dates, funny emails, random surprise phone calls from dear friends...I don't get any of those things from you. I need you to provide some spontaneity and fun in my days.
I need you to pick up your pace just a bit. The other days go by fairly quickly but to me it seems like you drag on and on. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you...I just need a little space. If you could go by a little faster I think it would be easier for me to appreciate you.
I'm sure you don't mean it but sometimes you can be a real bitch. I feel like I try my hardest to let it go, but it bothers me when you treat me so poorly. Let me know that I'm important to you by showing me some compassion and kindness.
And in full disclosure, I think it's important to let you know that Friday brought me great fun. I met up with some of my favorite girlfriends - we got in a little shopping and a whole lot of girl time. Then it was off to dinner with more friends. But Friday wasn't done yet! Understanding my love for dancing, it provided me (after a few adventures) an opportunity to hit the floor and get my dance on. And then, like the champ he is, Saturday swooped in and continued the fun. After successfully making a fool of myself on the dance floor, it was off for some late night grub. There was panic over a missing wallet, poking fun at sleeping beauty, and lots of laughs. Later that afternoon I enjoyed lunch with the ladies and then it was off to pick up the kiddos and return to domestic life.
Here are some pictures from my time with Friday and Saturday. I hope you can see how much fun we had together and maybe that will help you understand why I have such a good relationship with those days. Some of these pics are borrowed from the lady of the hour - the very special birthday girl, Brina. I was too busy dancing to take many pictures...
Sunday has offered me some family time around the house. I made a roast that we had after church and everyone is napping. I don't think we'll do much today and I'm looking forward to that. I think I may go grab a movie, make some popcorn and meet up with another dear friend of mine - the couch.
But don't worry Monday, I am well aware that you are almost here...
As the first day of the work week, I know you feel that I don't always have the same appreciation for you that I do the other days and I recognize that you are particularly jealous of my affection for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. While it is true that I do value those days greatly, it in no way diminishes your place. We've had our challenges but I want our relationship to be better - it's important to me that we understand each other. I want to open up the lines of communication by telling you how I feel.
While I am happy to see you; you arrive just a little too soon each week. I would appreciate it if you would let me spend just a little more time with Sunday. I know you're anxious for our time together, but I always feel just a bit cheated by your early arrival. Please stop rushing Sunday away.
I understand it's your job to get the week started but do you always have to go full blast? Could you save a few of the emails, phone calls, and other things for Tuesday? Or maybe even Wednesday? When one day brings so much to do it makes me feel overwhelmed and I begin to resent you.
It seems like a long time ago we used to have fun together. Now, it seems like you only want me to work. The other days bring me lunch dates, funny emails, random surprise phone calls from dear friends...I don't get any of those things from you. I need you to provide some spontaneity and fun in my days.
I need you to pick up your pace just a bit. The other days go by fairly quickly but to me it seems like you drag on and on. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you...I just need a little space. If you could go by a little faster I think it would be easier for me to appreciate you.
I'm sure you don't mean it but sometimes you can be a real bitch. I feel like I try my hardest to let it go, but it bothers me when you treat me so poorly. Let me know that I'm important to you by showing me some compassion and kindness.
And in full disclosure, I think it's important to let you know that Friday brought me great fun. I met up with some of my favorite girlfriends - we got in a little shopping and a whole lot of girl time. Then it was off to dinner with more friends. But Friday wasn't done yet! Understanding my love for dancing, it provided me (after a few adventures) an opportunity to hit the floor and get my dance on. And then, like the champ he is, Saturday swooped in and continued the fun. After successfully making a fool of myself on the dance floor, it was off for some late night grub. There was panic over a missing wallet, poking fun at sleeping beauty, and lots of laughs. Later that afternoon I enjoyed lunch with the ladies and then it was off to pick up the kiddos and return to domestic life.
Here are some pictures from my time with Friday and Saturday. I hope you can see how much fun we had together and maybe that will help you understand why I have such a good relationship with those days. Some of these pics are borrowed from the lady of the hour - the very special birthday girl, Brina. I was too busy dancing to take many pictures...
Sunday has offered me some family time around the house. I made a roast that we had after church and everyone is napping. I don't think we'll do much today and I'm looking forward to that. I think I may go grab a movie, make some popcorn and meet up with another dear friend of mine - the couch.
But don't worry Monday, I am well aware that you are almost here...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I'm back!
Well, back physically but certainly not mentally. It’s so tough to return to reality! We had a really good time – it was awesome to soak up the sun, listen to good tunes and just hang out. We had a change of plans a few weeks earlier and decided to prep the boat. We had to replace something with the steering and the front deck - good bye several hundred dollars! But it was so worth it because we ended up taking it to the lake with us. There were already two boats there but it ended up being really nice to have ours there too. M got to drive and she was so excited and I just loved watching her. Throughout my childhood, different members of our family had boats and I remember so vividly how exciting it was to take a boat ride and maybe, just maybe get to steer the boat. I am so happy that my girls will get those same experiences.
To me, that’s what family is about – building memories and providing tradition. We bought that boat, a 26 foot pontoon, the first year we were married. It’s big, bulky and slow so I’m sure it seemed like an odd choice to some. But we bought it for the future – we wanted something that we could pile the whole family into. And it really has been perfect. Over the years it’s taken some beatings and it’s starting to look a little rough, but I love that boat!
M2, on the other hand, was not too fond of it. Last year she was too little to know or care but this year she was a little scared. Only in the beginning when she first got on – once we started the engine and got going she was fine. Not really loving it, but she was okay. She does, however, love the water. Both my girls take after me in that sense – they are both water babies. I’m not real crazy about swimming in lakes. I have, plenty of times, but I’m just not fond of swimming in what is essentially a giant toilet bowl. Ughh, I just can’t think about it!
But when you have little ones that love the water, there are no options – you must get in the water with them. So I was a little concerned about swimwear. I have a couple of bathing suits but the water in Oklahoma lakes is red dirt water and everything comes out dingy looking. I have a black bathing suit that was my official “lake” bathing suit but it doesn’t fit and I didn’t think about it in time to actually hunt down something new. So, I was left with two options – ruin a good suit or go naked. And one of those, the one that involves possible jail time and a whole lot of disgruntled lake people, was not happening.
But at the last minute I remembered the suit I ordered for our vacation, the ones with the bottoms that were more like half bottoms on me. Well, I never sent it back; it’s remained untouched in its original package. So I decided that if I could find some cheap bottoms to coordinate with the top that I could just wear that. So the day that we left I stopped by Wal-Mart on my way home - just in case. I wasn’t very hopeful but was giving it a shot and I found something! And the bottoms are so stinkin cute – I actually kinda love them. And they were super cheap – like $10. Triple win!
I plan to get back to a regular workout routine this week. And the picture of me in my new bikini bottoms is definitely motivation to actually do it….
I plan to get back to a regular workout routine this week. And the picture of me in my new bikini bottoms is definitely motivation to actually do it….
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Myth Busters
I'm taking a break today. I need to for my mental health and the mental health of those around me. I've carved out time for lunch (and blogging) and I've even allowed myself to go to the bathroom. Yep, makin big steps towards progress today!
We watched Hall Pass the other night. Pretty funny. If you haven't seen it, the storyline is about a couple of married guys who get granted a hallpass by their wives. For one week they can live like they are single with no consequences. So the movie is about a series of misadventures during that week while they try unsuccessfully (for the most part) to hook up. Benny made a comment about how accurate the movie is - that it would be a challenge for a guy to hook up but women didn't even have to try...which made me really think about some common misperceptions that I refer to as Women Myths. Let's address those, shall we?
Women Myth 1: Women Lose Interest in Sex After Marriage
This is by far the biggest myth that exist. It's constantly perpetuated, even by men that are having sex on a regular basis. There are lots of wives who enjoy having sex, who want to have sex. It's part of a healthy relationship. So don't think a ring automatically shuts down a women's libido. It just isn't true. There are lots of us married women with our libido raging safely in tact.
I don't have an explanation for the ones that do lose their sex drive. I'm sure some used sex as a way to build the relationship and lost interest after it was secured, maybe some are harboring some pretty deep resentments, or maybe some just like to torture and deprive their spouses. Whatever the reason, these are the exceptions and not the rule.
I personally think that guys insinuate there's a lack of sex simply because they don't want their buddies eyeing their wives...and actually, that's pretty smart. Women should probably take note and start doing that too. Which brings me to number two.
Women Myth 2: Women Are Discreet
Technically this is a Man Myth - the idea that men brag about their sexual encounters while women practice discretion. Really, this should make sense. Women like to talk and share and since this is usually a pretty big part of our lives (see myth 1) then it's natural that we talk about it. It's not like we share with ALL of our friends but you can bet that our dearest friends know something about our sex lives. Usually the closer the relationship, the more details we share. So yes, your wives's friends probably know how often you have sex, how well you perform, and all about that embarrassing thing you shouted out the other day while in the throws of passion.
And then we wonder why a "friend" would make a move on our spouse...
Woman Myth 3: Women Never Get Turned Down For Sex
I am telling you 100 percent that this is not true. Personally, I've gotten turned down more than a time or two. It happens. And it happens to both genders.
I've thrown myself at guys within an inch of desperation...well, okay, if you want to get technical I was probably actually an inch past desperation...only to be ignored, turned down and one time even fallen asleep on. And I'm not the only one it's happened to (see myth 2). Except the falling asleep thing - I've never heard that from a girlfriend. Maybe that was just too embarrassing to share...it does kinda hurt your pride when you're trying to turn someone on and they get so excited by you that they FALL ASLEEP. Epic fail. An embarrassing epic fail. But one that I share in the hopes of demonstrating that it happens to women too.
Women Myth 4: Women Are Complicated
I'm sure some women are complicated but there's a whole bunch of us who will tell you exactly what we want and need. We understand the importance of articulating our needs, even if it makes us uncomfortable to be so vulnerable. We don't play games and we put ourselves out there. Your only job is to listen.
It's pretty simple: when a woman says you make her feel special when you do X - then do it more! When a women says you make her feel crummy when you do X - then do it less! Generally, I think we just want to feel loved and valued. We aren't looking for grand gestures and we're just happy to see that you try.
Women Myth 5: All Women Are The Same
No one person can speak on behalf of a whole gender or understand the intricacies of a unique individual. It's great to call your sister, your best friend's wife, or even your Mom as long as you understand that the advice they share may not apply to all women. What's romantic to some may some cheesy to others. What seems practical to some may seem insensitive to somebody else. One size fits all doesn't always fit.
So don't make assumptions, don't make generalizations, and most importantly don't listen to me!
We watched Hall Pass the other night. Pretty funny. If you haven't seen it, the storyline is about a couple of married guys who get granted a hallpass by their wives. For one week they can live like they are single with no consequences. So the movie is about a series of misadventures during that week while they try unsuccessfully (for the most part) to hook up. Benny made a comment about how accurate the movie is - that it would be a challenge for a guy to hook up but women didn't even have to try...which made me really think about some common misperceptions that I refer to as Women Myths. Let's address those, shall we?
Women Myth 1: Women Lose Interest in Sex After Marriage
This is by far the biggest myth that exist. It's constantly perpetuated, even by men that are having sex on a regular basis. There are lots of wives who enjoy having sex, who want to have sex. It's part of a healthy relationship. So don't think a ring automatically shuts down a women's libido. It just isn't true. There are lots of us married women with our libido raging safely in tact.
I don't have an explanation for the ones that do lose their sex drive. I'm sure some used sex as a way to build the relationship and lost interest after it was secured, maybe some are harboring some pretty deep resentments, or maybe some just like to torture and deprive their spouses. Whatever the reason, these are the exceptions and not the rule.
I personally think that guys insinuate there's a lack of sex simply because they don't want their buddies eyeing their wives...and actually, that's pretty smart. Women should probably take note and start doing that too. Which brings me to number two.
Women Myth 2: Women Are Discreet
Technically this is a Man Myth - the idea that men brag about their sexual encounters while women practice discretion. Really, this should make sense. Women like to talk and share and since this is usually a pretty big part of our lives (see myth 1) then it's natural that we talk about it. It's not like we share with ALL of our friends but you can bet that our dearest friends know something about our sex lives. Usually the closer the relationship, the more details we share. So yes, your wives's friends probably know how often you have sex, how well you perform, and all about that embarrassing thing you shouted out the other day while in the throws of passion.
And then we wonder why a "friend" would make a move on our spouse...
Woman Myth 3: Women Never Get Turned Down For Sex
I am telling you 100 percent that this is not true. Personally, I've gotten turned down more than a time or two. It happens. And it happens to both genders.
I've thrown myself at guys within an inch of desperation...well, okay, if you want to get technical I was probably actually an inch past desperation...only to be ignored, turned down and one time even fallen asleep on. And I'm not the only one it's happened to (see myth 2). Except the falling asleep thing - I've never heard that from a girlfriend. Maybe that was just too embarrassing to share...it does kinda hurt your pride when you're trying to turn someone on and they get so excited by you that they FALL ASLEEP. Epic fail. An embarrassing epic fail. But one that I share in the hopes of demonstrating that it happens to women too.
Women Myth 4: Women Are Complicated
I'm sure some women are complicated but there's a whole bunch of us who will tell you exactly what we want and need. We understand the importance of articulating our needs, even if it makes us uncomfortable to be so vulnerable. We don't play games and we put ourselves out there. Your only job is to listen.
It's pretty simple: when a woman says you make her feel special when you do X - then do it more! When a women says you make her feel crummy when you do X - then do it less! Generally, I think we just want to feel loved and valued. We aren't looking for grand gestures and we're just happy to see that you try.
Women Myth 5: All Women Are The Same
No one person can speak on behalf of a whole gender or understand the intricacies of a unique individual. It's great to call your sister, your best friend's wife, or even your Mom as long as you understand that the advice they share may not apply to all women. What's romantic to some may some cheesy to others. What seems practical to some may seem insensitive to somebody else. One size fits all doesn't always fit.
So don't make assumptions, don't make generalizations, and most importantly don't listen to me!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Busy Hornet
I have been so super busy at work. Insanely busy. Like I've had to pee for about 3 hours but I can't get away to the bathroom busy. I grabbed some strawberries today and I came this close to not even washing them off before I ate them because it seriously seemed like it would take too long. I don't think I'm mismanaging my time...and I'm delegating things out...so I don't know what's happening. This is probably just justice for all the time I've ever wasted on instant messenger. Curse you instant messenger for fueling the compelling and overwhelming need I have to engage in lighthearted, witty banter! The voice in my head says "Ignore the IM! Ignore the IM!" and yet my fingers are curiously unable to avoid typing out a response...what kind of hold do you have over me? Evil, pure evil!
And I have got to get a handle on working out. I have lost all consistency. And some muscle too. I got a workout in on Monday and Tuesday but we had overnight company last night so no workout this morning. It's amazing but I can tell a difference since I've been slacking. It really sucks.
It's a little ironic that the purpose of this blog was primarily to keep me accountable on workouts and now it seems like I blog about everything except that. I'm going to try to get better about that too. Of course, I talk an awful lot about getting better about things but if I was actually making improvements in those areas I probably wouldn't need to keep promising to get better, would I?
And I have got to get a handle on working out. I have lost all consistency. And some muscle too. I got a workout in on Monday and Tuesday but we had overnight company last night so no workout this morning. It's amazing but I can tell a difference since I've been slacking. It really sucks.
It's a little ironic that the purpose of this blog was primarily to keep me accountable on workouts and now it seems like I blog about everything except that. I'm going to try to get better about that too. Of course, I talk an awful lot about getting better about things but if I was actually making improvements in those areas I probably wouldn't need to keep promising to get better, would I?
Monday, August 1, 2011
This, That, and All Others
Got a few, unimportant things running through my head. None of them are related or even very interesting...so this is even more random and mundane than usual.
I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
 |
| Only a day old and already dressed up |
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
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