I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
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| Only a day old and already dressed up |
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
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